SED 695C Seminar in Composition and Language. Integrating Writing Instruction with Core Principles of Writing

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1 1 SED 695C Seminar in Composition and Language Class of Kathleen Dudden Rowlands Juniper Hall 1212, November 4, 2010 Rei R. Noguchi Department of English California State University, Northridge Integrating Writing Instruction with Core Principles of Writing I. Some Background A. Some General Characteristics of Core Principles of Writing: 1. Core writing principles help improve both text organization and coherence. 2. Core writing principles apply not only to sentences and their parts but also to larger structures. 3. Core writing principles deal generally and crucially with the spatial aspects of information structure, particularly, the visually iconic aspects. 4. Core writing principles are descriptive rather than prescriptive in intent. 5. Core writing principles produce effects that are gradient in nature. B. Movability--e.g., adverbials of time, place, and manner) 1. My mother saw the eerie ghost at exactly 12 o clock midnight. 2. At exactly 12 o clock midnight, my mother saw the eerie ghost. 3. My mother, at exactly 12 o clock midnight, saw the eerie ghost. 4. My mother saw at exactly 12 o clock midnight the eerie ghost. 5. Jennifer researched the beginnings of Chinese civilization in the library. 6. In the library, Jennifer researched the beginnings of Chinese civilization. 7. Jennifer, in the library, researched the beginnings of Chinese civilization. 8. Jennifer researched in the library the beginnings of Chinese civilization. 9. The mechanic fixed the flat tire quickly. 10. Quickly, the mechanic fixed the flat tire. 11. The mechanic quickly fixed the flat tire. 12. The mechanic fixed quickly the flat tire. C. Scene-Setting Principle: Place movable elements first to set the scene and to improve syntactic variety; otherwise, place the subject first. 1. Pete was very fussy about the cleanliness of public showers. He never took a shower at some gymnasiums for several years. 2. Pete was very fussy about the cleanliness of public showers. At some gymnasiums, he never took a shower for several years. 3. Pete was very fussy about the cleanliness of public showers. For several years, he never took a shower at some gymnasiums. 4. Pete was very fussy about the cleanliness of public showers. For several years at some gymnasiums, he never took a shower. Don t overdo fronting: Near his home, three days ago, on the path by the lake, while carrying some logs, Jim fell down. Sentence Variety: Version 1 Version 2 (a) Eloise went shopping at the local department store this morning. (b) She bought two CDs and a walkie-talkie while there. (c) She appeared quite satisfied with her purchases. (d) The two CDs had scratches on the surface, and her walkie-talkie had a bent antenna, however. [Move the movable elements above with the aim of setting scene, creating greater sentence variety,

2 2 and getting proper emphasis.] D. Extending the Scene-Setting Principle: The Scene-Setting Principle applies to broader areas of text than just the simple scenic elements mentioned thus far. Attitudinal Scenes--i.e., mental, or inner, landscapes 1. Because she was bored with her job, Helen began dreaming of a career in the movie industry. 2. Although the oldest brother is smart, he is not wise. 3. As the bartender thought of his days in the army, a soldier came in. 4. If you want a quiet place to study, go to a college library on Friday and Saturday nights. Transitional expressions as scenic elements to convey the orientation that the writer seeks to establish with readers: e.g., 5. The Democrats won the Presidency in 1996 national elections. However, they did not win a majority in the House of Representatives or the Senate. Some commonly-used movable transitional expressions that can function as scenic elements: Temporal Relations: The writer takes and wishes readers to take this time orientation to the central message of the current sentence. presently, at the present time, in the past (future), now, then, soon, immediately, afterwards, thereafter, after a while, eventually, before, earlier, later, lately, recently, at last, at the same time, meanwhile, in the mean time, simultaneously, always, frequently, often, sometimes, occasionally, now and then, rarely, again Spatial Relations: The writer takes and wishes readers to take this spatial orientation to the central message of the current sentence. here, there, nearby, alongside, adjacent, opposite, above, below, behind, in back (front), across, beyond, farther on, in the distance, elsewhere, to the left (right), to the east (west, north, south), inside, on the inside, outside, on the outside, diagonally, Sequential Relations: The writer takes and wishes readers to take an orientation in which the following item occurs at this point within a sequenced set of items. first, in the first place, to begin with, second, in the second place, next, for another, subsequently, then, furthermore, finally, lastly, henceforth, hereafter, thereafter, hitherto Exemplification: The writer takes and wishes readers to take an orientation in which the relevant item (or items) in the current sentence serves as an example of a previously mentioned or implied idea. for example, for instance, as illustration, for one, as a case in point Degree of Specificity: The writer takes and wishes readers to take an orientation in which the relevant item (or items) in the current sentence has this degree of specificity. specifically, to be (more) specific, particularly, to be (more) particular, in particular, generally, in general, broadly speaking Degree of Probability: The writer takes and wishes readers to take an orientation in which the central message of the current sentence has this degree of probability of being true. certainly, for certain, with all certainty, surely, for sure, without a doubt, undoubtedly, clearly, probably, in all probability, in all likelihood, more (most) likely, perhaps, maybe Degree of Empathy: The writer takes and wishes readers to take an orientation in which this degree of empathy

3 3 should be given to the central message of the current sentence. fortunately, happily, sadly, regretfully, with all due regrets Similarity: The writer takes and wishes readers to take the orientation that the central message of the current sentence is similar to a previously mentioned or implied idea. similarly, in the same way, in same manner, likewise, also Contrast: The writer takes and wishes readers to take the orientation that the central message of the current sentence is opposed to a previous mentioned or implied idea. however, yet, still, in contrast, on the contrary, conversely, on the other hand, instead, rather, nonetheless, nevertheless, even so, all the same Concession: The writer takes and wishes readers to take the orientation that the central message of the current sentence concedes, or yields, some point or points to an opposing view. certainly, to be sure, true, of course, to be sure, granted, naturally Repetition: The writer takes and wishes readers to take the orientation that the relevant item (or items) in the current sentence has been repeated as a reminder of a previously mentioned idea. to repeat, to restate, by way of repetition, again, that is, in other words, to put it differently Addition: The writer takes and wishes readers to take the orientation that the relevant item (or items) in the current sentence counts as an appropriate addition to a previously mentioned or implied idea. in addition, additionally, also, besides, further, furthermore, moreover Result: The writer takes and wishes readers to take the orientation that the central message of the current sentence comes as result of a previously mentioned or implied cause. consequently, therefore, thus, then, hence, accordingly, as a result, to this end, in that case Summary: The writer takes and wishes readers to take the orientation that the central message of the current sentence is an appropriate summation of a previously mentioned or implied set of ideas. in summary, in sum, to sum up, to summarize, by way of summary, in brief, in short, all in all, as a whole Conclusion: The writer takes and wishes readers to take the orientation that the central message of the current sentence is an appropriate conclusion to be drawn from the previously mentioned or implied ideas. in conclusion, to conclude E. Language Choice, Language Play, and Rhetorical Effect 1. a. His parents were poor; however, they were honest. b. His parents were poor; they were honest, however. 2. a. California is home to many high-tech companies. For example, Apple Computer is located in Cupertino. b. California is home to many high-tech companies. Apple Computer is located in Cupertino, for example. 3. a. Attending a private university may not be as advantageous as you think. In the first place, it s more expensive. b. Attending a private university may not be as advantageous as you think. It s more expensive in the first place. 4. a. The company has a young and dedicated work force, strong financial backing, and responsive management. In sum (In conclusion, Consequently), it has a great future. b. The company has a young and dedicated work force, strong financial backing, and responsive management. It has a great future in sum (in conclusion, consequently).

4 4 F. Extending the Scene-Setting Principle in Paragraphs and Essays--Iconic Mimicking II. Aboutness Principle: Build text around a core idea, or topic. Topic--what the sentence is centrally about; usually (not always) the subject of the sentence Comment--what is stated about the topic Words--derivations with suffixes and prefixes Phrases thank (verb): thankful, unthankful, unthankfulness act (noun): truck: the truck; the new truck; the new truck that Terry bought drank: reluctantly drank; quietly and reluctantly drank; quietly and reluctantly drank in a gulp some possible movie titles: The Man and the Dog vs. The Dog and the Man ; The Geeks and the Rock Band vs. The Rock Band and the Geeks Sentences 1. Mrs. Jenkins opened the door with a crowbar this morning. 2. The door was opened with a crowbar by Mrs. Jenkins this morning. 3. A crowbar was used by Mrs. Jenkins to open the door this morning. ================================================================== Related Activity 1 Underline the topics of the following sentences: 1. Bob and Mary wrote essays about their experiences in Australia. 2. With respect to that problem, the townspeople should approach it with caution great. 3. The townspeople should approach that problem with great caution. 4. A rolling stone gathers no moss. 5. There is no moss gathered by a rolling stone. 6. My teacher, she got mad at me. ================================================================== Related Activity 2 Examine the following three sentences: 1. Mary gave the principal the signed health forms. 2. The instruments melted in the hot sun, the scientists concluded. 3. The bank lent the restaurant owner a $1,000. Rewrite each sentence above in two different ways so that the underlined items become the core idea (i.e., topic) of the sentence. Try to keep the same meaning as the original sentence. ================================================================== Paragraphs--some ways of building coherence: 1. Topic Consistency: John couldn t stand his diet any longer. He got up in the middle of the night and made two hoagie sandwiches. He wolfed them down in about ten minutes. John then prepared and ate two bowls of soup. Still hungry, this growing boy finished off a pint of ice cream, but he wasn t through yet.

5 5 2. Given-New Principle ( Place given information before new information ): John opened the refrigerator and looked at the pie and cake. The pie was very tempting, so he cut a huge slice. The slice was gone in no time. The cake now attracted his attention. 3. Implicational Linkages: John opened the refrigerator and looked at the pie and cake. His stomach began to growl ferociously. His diet was soon the last thing on his mind. Losing ten pounds could wait. Essays--keeping writing on target; also applicable to individual paragraphs within the essay Prototype Sentence: (1) from the reader s perspective, the most typical, anticipated sentence (i.e., what readers most expect based on the stated thesis of an essay) or (2) from the writer s perspective, an exemplar sentence, a kind of elementary model sentence whose information structure closely resembles the information structure of the thesis sentence and, as such, can be used as a general model for writing other sentences in the essay. Thesis Sentence: Driving with a blasting stereo can be hazardous to your health. Prototype Sentence: Driving with a blasting stereo will cause some hazardous situations for the driver. Subject Variants: a. To drive with a loudly playing stereo will cause some hazardous situations for the driver. b. Playing a stereo at full blast while driving will cause hazardous situation for the driver. c. A blasting stereo will cause some hazardous situations for the driver. d. Blaring rap music will cause some hazardous situation for the driver. e. This/It will cause some hazardous situations for the driver. Other Subj. Variants: f. The driver with the blasting stereo will cause some hazardous situations. g. The driver will cause some hazardous situations. h. Anyone driving with a loud stereo will cause some hazardous situations. i. Such a driver will cause some hazardous situations. j. He/She will cause some hazardous situations. Subject and Predicate Variants (predicates underlined): Prototype Sentence: Subj/Pred Variants: Driving with a blasting stereo will cause some hazardous situations for the driver. k. Playing the stereo at full blast may make you careless or even reckless in your driving. l. To drive with a loudly playing stereo can seriously distract other drivers. m. Such irresponsible behavior may sometimes fatally distract pedestrians. n. A loud stereo will not only cause accidents but also raise your insurance premiums considerably.

6 6 Complex Essay Prompts: o. This/It can injure or kill innocent people. p. It will make local merchants and residents angry. q. A blasting stereo may lead to permanent ear damage. In Shakespeare s Othello, Othello is often viewed as being irrational. This view is strengthened by the fact that Othello seems to contradict himself in both speech and deed; that is, his statements sometimes seem at odds with either his earlier statements or with his later behavior. Identify and then carefully examine some of these contradictions to shed light on Othello s character. Prototype Sentence: Othello says something, but Othello later says/does the opposite, which indicates something about Othello s character. Break into Components: Component 1 of Prototype Sentence: Othello says something. Component 2 of Prototype Sentence: But Othello later says/does the opposite. Component 3 of Prototype Sentence: This contradiction indicates something about Othello s character. [Note: There s a free downloadable PowerPoint introduction to the Emphasis Principle (created by Elizabeth M. Hanson) on the Internet. Type emphasis principle noguchi in the search box of Google. The very first item on the results list will probably be the one to click and automatically download presentation.]