CRUSHED: LESSONS ON LOVE FROM ROSALINE AND MALIN WIREN. Hook: Introduce the play with the big, general idea you re going to discuss.

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1 Alan Reinstein English 221 Reinstein February 7, 2006 May 5, 2009 (revised); May 18, 2016 (revised again) Romeo and Juliet Analytical-Personal Essay INTRODUCTION CRUSHED: LESSONS ON LOVE FROM ROSALINE AND MALIN WIREN Hook: Introduce the play with the big, general idea you re going to discuss. In the play Romeo and Juliet, one of the questions asked is, What is true love? and another one is, What does it feel like when you love someone who doesn t love you back? Romeo is in love with two women in the play in order to help us answer both questions. Lead: Give some info of the play on what you'll discuss in the analytical paragraph. In the beginning, he s a moping teenager who is depressed because a girl he likes, Rosaline, tells him that she doesn t like him back, at least not in the way he wants. When you ve got a crush on someone who doesn t return the feelings, it s hard to get the thoughts out of your mind. Thesis: Give the main idea of what you want to discuss about the play itself. The crush that Romeo has on Rosaline is an important part of the play because it helps us compare his feelings for Juliet and makes us question just what love is. Lead: Give some info of the play on what you'll discuss in the personal paragraph. I had a crush as Romeo did, but it wasn t from junior high school or high school. For me this crush occurred when I was thirty-three years old, while I was working in Israel on a farm, also called a kibbutz. She was a twenty-year-old volunteer worker from Sweden named Malin Wiren. She was my Rosaline: I liked her in the worst way, but she didn t return the feelings, and I was a wreck.

2 Thesis: Give the main idea of what you ll discuss about the personal connection. But then, just like Romeo, I got over my crush by meeting the woman who became my wife, another volunteer who came to the kibbutz after Malin returned to Sweden, this time from France. Her name was Viviane Viros. She is my Juliet. ANALYTICAL PARAGRAPH Topic Sentence The crush that Romeo has over Rosaline is an important part of the play because it helps us see more clearly Romeo s feelings for Juliet, opening the question of just what love is. Presenting the first quotation: context + quotation + analysis [Context] The question about love itself comes from Romeo s feelings for Rosaline, for how would we be able to wonder about the truth of his love for Juliet if we weren t able to see Romeo s behavior about Rosaline. His over-the-top oxymorons about Rosaline suggest that he is not thinking straight: [Quotation] Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O anything of nothing first create! O heavy lightness! Serious vanity! Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms! Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health! ( ) [Analysis/Discussion (include at least one other quotation)] While he confesses his love to Juliet later in the play, there is nothing like this kind of language. He even says to Benvolio, when his cousin asks him about Rosaline, that he is not himself: I am not here. / This is not Romeo; he s some otherwhere ( ). But maybe the only

3 difference between his love for Rosaline and for Juliet is that Juliet loves him back, and the love that Romeo feels for Rosaline is just as true as how he feels for Juliet. Or maybe it s the other way around: the love Romeo feels for Juliet is as immature as it is for Rosaline. There may be evidence in the text to point us in one direction or the other, but perhaps Shakespeare is pointing to something more interesting about the nature of love, that it is not something you can clearly express, as Romeo tells Friar Lawrence later in the play, Thou canst not speak of that thou dost not feel (3.3.65). Perhaps this is Shakespeare s message to us, and he expresses it with the help of Romeo s initial crush on Rosaline. PERSONAL CONNECTION PARAGRAPH Topic Sentence: Make a clear connection to Romeo and Juliet. Like Romeo, I had been changed by unrequited love into something other than myself, and I know now that this is what such an experience can do to you. Tell your story. The word crush is really a perfect word for what happened to me: I was crushed there s no better way to say it. I had been working on a farm in Israel (called a kibbutz) called Bet Keshet for about three months when Malin came with a group of other volunteers from Sweden to work. Most volunteers came with a friend or in groups. Some, like me, were by themselves. My crush began slowly, but hit full throttle on a bus ride down to Eilat with the other girls from the Swedish group. I was sitting next to Malin for a while on the bus, and we talked about her college and books and swimming. I was hooked; I couldn t stop thinking about her not really in a romantic way, but more in the way of simply wanting to be near her. I decided that I would say something to Malin. Even if she didn t have the same feelings for me, I just knew that I had to say something to her. So I waited for a time alone with her when I could say

4 something, and finally, we took a walk around the kibbutz while I told her that I had really begun to like her. I was trying to open the door for her to say that she shared these strange feelings I had, but she clearly didn t. Worse than her not feeling the same as I did, the awkwardness of my saying something suddenly closed the door completely to whatever friendship had developed between us. After that, I was so uncomfortable around her that I could not be myself at all. I moped around half the time, like Romeo, and the other half, I faked being happy in a way that I m sure was so obviously fake that I hate to even think about it now. Like Romeo, I had been transformed by unrequited love into something other than myself, and I know now that this is what such an experience can do to you. But then, not long after Malin left, a French volunteer named Viviane came by herself and our friendship turned into a marriage. This time, it was Viviane who had the crush, but unlike the way it was with Rosaline and Romeo, this time it was more like Juliet and Romeo. Although the negative feelings from being crushed by Malin s rejection did not last forever, they did last for a while, and today I think that the value of this experience is that it brings me closer to those people who have had similar setbacks. I can definitely empathize. CONCLUSION General statement about the key theme of the essay Having romantic feelings for a person that are not returned is both really painful and also really natural. Review Romeo and Juliet key ideas Critics sometimes say that Romeo s moody love for Rosaline shows that his love is not true, that it must be a kind of false love. I disagree. Love that is not returned merely makes you stupid (as love that is returned can make you stupid, too): uncomfortable with yourself, awkward,

5 miserable. It makes you not yourself, which is what happens to Romeo when he is being rejected by Rosaline. Review personal connection key ideas Malin Wiren did this to me. Looking back, I m glad to have had this experience, since it has connected me to so many other people good people who have also been likewise rejected. Some people, I m sure, have never recovered. Thankfully, just as Romeo recovered by meeting Juliet, I have been similarly saved. My life today is full of returned love many times deeper than the heart-pounding and short-lived feelings I had for that funny and serious volunteer from Sweden, who today, may have also found her true love, or may still be breaking hearts the way she once did mine.