REQUIRED RETAKE INSTRUCTIONS

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1 REQUIRED RETAKE INSTRUCTIONS ENG300: Literary Analysis Essay Student name: Zainab Abdullah AlShafai Student number: Grade: 58% Date: 6/12/17 Evaluator: AF Dear Student, Unfortunately, you earned a failing grade on this first-attempt submission. According to the Academic Policies in the Penn Foster Student Handbook, you must prepare a retake submission. Since the goal of this course is to help you improve your writing, you will continue working with your current submission, completely revising and editing it at all levels. Merely applying the instructor s corrections in grammar, spelling, or format will not show sufficient evidence that you have improved your skill level and therefore will not result in a change to your grade. Review the textbook and assignment directions. Following are key revisions you must make to ensure a passing grade on your retake. If you do not understand how to rewrite your paper in order to accomplish these goals, please contact the school. Purpose: analyze the impact and influence a song has in a contemporary context based on its literary devices and cultural references. Strong thesis: State a specific thesis in your introduction which states the song s title and author/performer as well as an opinion that reflects the purpose. Development: Using the thesis as the guide, prove to the reader, through research opinions, and/or personal details how the song offers impact beyond just the reader. A combination of all three is most helpful. Satisfying conclusion: Provide a satisfying conclusion to close your discussion, reinforcing your thesis, and closing with a final thought. MLA Citations: Using MLA, offer internal citations and a properly formatted Works Cited page to avoid plagiarism accusations. Editing and proofreading: Read papers aloud to check for clear sentence structure and conventions.

2 Include this set of instructions with your retake submission, or there may be a problem completing your evaluation. For electronic submissions, copy and paste just the first four lines of text (from "Required Retake" through the evaluator's initials) at the beginning of your retake document. As part of your file name, include Retake after your last name. Then submit your retake essay for grading. Best wishes on your retake, Education Department Penn Foster College ENG300: ADVANCED COMPOSITION Literary Analysis: Figurative Language in Music and Song ENG300: Advanced Composition Open Office Hours occurs several times. Please register for the date and time that works best for you: This is not a required webinar for the Advanced Composition course. It is also not a presentation. English instructor Rianna Karalunas will be available from 3:00-4:00 p.m. EST to answer questions about your Advanced Composition writing course. If you're enrolled in Advanced Composition and have questions about an assignment, please join us during our open office hours. After registering, you will receive a confirmation containing information about joining the webinar. Evaluation for exam number: Thesis: Audience, Purpose, and Topic Does the thesis make a claim about the significance of the song that alludes to both the figurative language it employs and its impact on its audience? There is not a clear thesis Skill Realized Skill Developing Skill Emerging Not Shown

3 statement in the introduction. Development How insightfully and convincingly does the writer analyze each example of the song's poetic devices in terms of correct identification and explanation of terms for given line(s), tying the use of each to the song's theme? The essay should focus on approx. three main literary devices used in the song to convey a particular message or meaning. These devices should be introduced in the introduction and stated in the thesis. Each body paragraph should address ONE of these literary devices with examples from the song and analysis of the device, how it is used in the song, and how it helps convey the song s overall meaning or message. Your essay does not organize the content in this way, and the analysis is weak. Although your essay identifies many and varied possible examples of literary devices in the song, it does not include deep analysis of any one example. The cultural impact of the song also needs further development. It begins to address how and why the song appeals to a certain audience (those who have experienced similar relationship problems) but then gets off track by stating other examples of its popularity (mainly because of its catchy sound) Incorporation of Source Material How logically and effectively are paraphrases, summaries, and direct quotations from varied, relevant, and reliable sources employed to support the thesis statement and illustrate the assertions made about the song itself? The main source you seem to have incorporated is the one that identifies literary devices and their definitions. The essay does not incorporate sources that are relevant to the song itself and could help support the analysis you try to convey. Organization How gracefully does the writer incorporate transitional words and connective phrasing with appropriate paragraphing to guide the reader through the presentation?

4 As noted in your outline, the essay should be organized according to approx three literary devices used. Your essay presents many different devices, many without sufficient analysis. It is not enough to simply identify the use of a particular device in the song. Each one should be analyzed in terms of the device you identify and how it contributes to the song s overall meaning. Style and Voice How energetically and consistently does the writer interact with both the topic and audience while using varied, concrete, active diction? To what extent does the writer achieve a natural, pleasant rhythm, particularly through sentence fluency? MLA Citation Did the writer accurately and correctly document at least three required sources using the MLA citation style both in-text and on the list of Works Cited? Annotated Bibliography Did the writer give five sources, including the two cited in the paper? Was each annotation at least three sentences long? How well did the writer summarize the source's purpose, analyze its usefulness for the paper, and reflect on a unique aspect of the source? Conventions At what level does the writer demonstrate correct and effective standard written American English? Format and Length Did the paper meet the required length ( words) and formatting requirements? Exam grade: 58% Date of evaluation: 6/12/17 Evaluated by: AF IMPORTANT NOTICE

5 Along the right-hand side of your evaluated exam, you should see marginal or "bubble" comments from your instructor. You should also see a series of highlighted numbers in the evaluation chart identifying the rating you earned on each trait. If you don't see this feedback, click on the "View" tab and "Print Layout" or click on "Review" and the option "Final Showing Markup." If you still cannot see the feedback, please contact the school for the complete evaluation. Figurative Language Analysis of the song, Jar of Hearts The song, Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri is a popular song, which uses numerous types of figurative language. The use of figurative languagses allows for people listeninglisteners to understand the deeper meaning and story of the song. The lyrics were obtained from Google Play List (2017) and song was written by D. Lawrence. The title in it of itself is a literary device. It is a metaphor. The jar of hearts is a metaphor implying that past relationships have been put to the side and put away, so that Commented [PF1]: Based on your outline, this is the closest to a thesis statement for this essay. However, the thesis should (1) state the name of song (2) identify the specific literary devices that will be analyzed (3) state the main message or theme of the song that is conveyed through the literary devices and (4) indicate what the cultural impact or significance of the song is. they are part of the person s history and not in their present or future. Although the title is original since there are no other songs that I know of with this name, the plot of the song is unoriginal. It is the same type of love story found in lots of songs, books, and movies, and thus it is a form of figurative language called a cliché. The cliché and plot of the song is simple. Briefly, it is the story of a girl who has had her heart broken by a boy, and she worked to overcome the pain of losing him. After rising above the tragedy and sadness,

6 she is asked by her ex-boyfriend if she wants to reconnect. She does not want to reconnect because she has moved past her anguish, but just this thought creates a lot of emotional distress for her (Figurative Language Examples 2016). Thesis? The song begins and is set with a somber and serious tone. This tone, or the feeling of the song, is set early on by Perri s words, and the music is also quite serious and dark sounding. In the second line of the lyrics, Perri sings, Cause all that's waiting is regret.. This is an example of a personification because regret is not human and regret cannot actually be postponed. This personification demonstrates to a listener that she knows that trying to reconnect with her past boyfriend will not be a good idea and she Commented [PF2]: (1)This citation is not formatted according to MLA style. (2)What content I the intro comes from this source? Placing this citation at the end of the paragraph does not identify the specific content it is citing, unless it is to cite the idea about the song s message but it doesn t seem probable that the Figurative Language Examples source would include analysis of the song. Commented [PF3]: The thesis statement should appear here at the end of the introduction. Commented [PF4]: What human quality is being given to the idea of regret? Further analysis is needed for this claim about personification. will regret it. Next, Perri sings, Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore. The writer of the song used the word ghost in particular to symbolize that Perri is no longer invisible or to be walked all over, and that she will triumph and stand strong. This lyric is also a metaphor as she describes herself as a ghost. Following this lyric, You lost the love I loved the most, Perri clarifies how deep her love is. The author of the song intentionally uses the words love and lost, both beginning with the same consonants and sounds. Here there is an alliteration, and a repetition, too. In the next line, Perri accentuates her melancholy by singing, I learned to live half alive. This is overly dramatic and an exaggeration because no one can live half alive. Hence this lyric uses the literary device known as a hyperbole (Figurative Language Examples 2016). ** Commented [PF5]: This seems quite possible, but how does this particular line convey this meaning? What is the language in the line that tells the reader that the she will triumph and stay strong? Commented [PF6]: Explain. Commented [PF7]: Why not? Analysis of this claim is needed. Commented [PF8]: As noted in your outline, the controlling ideas in the essay should be specific literary devices. This means that the essay should be organized according to literary devices, not in the order of the song s lines. Each body paragraph should address one specific literary device. The topic sentence should identify the device and how it is significant. Then, the paragraph should identify specific examples from the song, each with analysis to show how the literary device is used in the lyrics to helps convey something particular about the song s main message.

7 The entire chorus is an extended metaphor and this is the part of the song where the motif begins. Perri sings here, and then many times in the song, And who do you think you are? This is a rhetorical question and it is supposed to be towards her exboyfriend, asking him in a sense how he has the audacity to come back to her. In the subsequent lyrics, Runnin' 'round leaving scars, Collecting your jar of hearts,, Perri says to her ex-boyfriend what he is doing, and these lines employ metaphors as her exboyfriend is not truly leaving physical scars on people, nor literally collecting their hearts. After this, Perri sings, And tearing love apart. This is a personification as love cannot literally be torn apart. Since she is trying to make a point her statement has Commented [PF9]: Then what is he doing? The listener understands that these lines are not literal. However, what is the metaphor here? What is meant by leaving scars? Collecting hearts? exaggeration. Accordingly, this lyric is a hyperbole. Next Perri sings, You're gonna catch a cold, From the ice inside your soul. Here she repeats the same vowel sound from the word cold and soul. This is an example of an assonance. Perri ends the chorus with the lyrics, So don't come back for me, Who do you think you are? She is singly Commented [PF10]: Why is this significant? How does it contribute to the song s meaning? Commented [PF11]:? right to her boyfriend but does not expect a response from him, and this final line is not only the motif of the song but also a repetition of a rhetorical question. The purpose of this motif and rheotical question is to prompt her ex-boyfriend into examining his poor Commented [PF12]: What do you mean by the song s motif? This needs further analysis and explanation. behaviours and to defy his beliefs that she is weak. Using this figurative language she shows her strength and perseverance to be seen (Figurative Language Examples 2016). After the chorus, Perri establishes she has overcome the sadness of their break-up and is better now than she was before. First Perri sings, I hear you're asking all around,

8 If I am anywhere to be found, which uses end rhyme because the words around and found have matching sound endings. Later, Perri sings, To ever fall back in your arms. This is a metaphor that can be interpreted to mean falling back in love with her exboyfriend (Figurative Language Examples 2016). In the next stanza, and part of the one after, there is a lot of reputation of previous lyrics. Accordingly, the types of figurative language heard in this stanza include Commented [PF13]: First, this paragraph does not focus on one specific literary device. Next, the use of end rhyme is not analyzed. What is the significance of this? How does it contribute to the song s overall message? Commented [PF14]:? repetition, motif, and extended metaphor. As the song nears to an end, Perri says, And it took so long just to feel alright, Remember how to put back the light in my eyes, I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed. Here the words invoke a somber and defiant tone. She also uses a metaphor as he cannot literally put light back into her eyes. This can be translated to a more literal idea of her needing a lot of time to become happy, strong, and mentally healthy again. Next, Perri sings a very unswerving statement, And now you're back, You don't get to get me back. This lyric demonstrates her resilience. Moreover, this lyric uses repetition, with the word back (Figurative Language Examples 2016). The remainder of the song repeats different lyrics and does not introduce any new lyrics. Therefore, the extended metaphor of the Jar of Hearts becoming bigger by her Commented [PF15]: Similar to previous paragraphs, this one does not focus on one specific literary device. It also does not offer in-depth analysis to show the literary devices in the song help convey the overall message of the song. boyfriend s recklessness in current relationships, and her resilience of overcoming her

9 relationship with this ex-boyfriend are repeated (Figurative Language Examples 2016). By repeating the main idea of the song, the motif is continued. The figurative language of Perri s song has contributed greatly to evoking emotion in many people who have been in similar situations. There are numerous blogs and websites with fan content expressing how people identified with Perri s words and Commented [PF16]: Are you suggesting that repetition in the song plays an important role in the song s message? If that s the case, then you need to develop one entire body paragraph that addresses the examples of repetition in the song. Each should be analyzed to show the use of repetition helps convey a particular message and impacts the listener in a particular way. how they helped them overcome their own difficult relationships. For example, from an anonymous blog comment on a user wrote, Awesome! Oh my god... Such good lyrics and well connected to my reality. (Best Christina Perri Songs 2017). Perri s figurative language not only helped many people, but its deeper meaning made it an ideal song to be featured as one of the songs used for a dance routine on So You Think You Can Dance, the television show. This song feature truly kick-started her professional music career, and she has now made 3 albums and toured the US multiples times to play for live and paying audiences (Christina Perri 2017). Perri has also been featured in a number of magazines that tell her story and promote her music, all of which can be read on her own personal website (Christina perri News 2017). Perri s message would not be nearly as powerful or attract as many listeners if it had not used so much figurative language. Without the use of these literary devices, her Commented [PF17]: Although this may be true of the song and a reason for its popularity, it is not relevant to your analysis of the song s meaning. Instead of including this, stay focused on the song s meaning and how it impacts listeners in a significant way. story, its meaning, and its tone, would not have been as well-received by listeners. By using poetic language, she presents a very tough issue in a softer and more open manner.

10 From completing this essay, I have not only learned many new literary devices, but I see Commented [PF18]: Off topic how important it is to use them when I write. I think they will be most useful when I want to persuade a reader or describe something in great detail. Figurative language seems essential to good story delivery, and this is apparent from analyzing the lyrics of Jar of Hearts. Work Ccited "Best Christina Perri Songs." Best Christina Perri Songs - Top Ten List - TheTopTens. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 May < "Christina Perri." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 5 Feb Web. 21 May < Commented [PF19]: Wikipedia is not a credible source for academic writing. "Christina perri News." Christina perri Official Website. Atlantic Records, 17 Feb Web. 21 May <

11 "Figurative Language Examples." Literary Devices. N.p., 12 Jan Web. 21 May < Commented [PF20]: This source is not related to the song or analysis of it. Lawrence, D. "Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri." Google Play Music. Google, n.d. Web. 21 May < ource=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics>.