APPENDIX A. CBSC Decision 11/ CFNY-FM re the Dean Blundell Show (Females, Freezies & Halloween)

Transcription

1 APPENDIX A CBSC Decision 11/ CFNY-FM re the Dean Blundell Show (Females, Freezies & Halloween) The Dean Blundell Show is CFNY-FM s (102.1 The Edge, Toronto) morning show, which airs weekdays from 5:30 to 10:00 am. It contains the usual songs, news, traffic and weather updates, and banter between the hosts, Dean Blundell, Todd Shapiro and Derek Welsman. The following conversations occurred on October 11 and 12, 2011, respectively: October 11, 2011, 7:00 am The Edge. It s, uh, Blink-182, Up All Night. Good morning. 7:09. We re just watching, um, a new morning news, uh, thing on Global. [Shapiro chuckles] Mor-, it s called The Morning Show. It s like a morning TV news thing. Shh. You re not supposed to talk about the competition. [laughs] They re not compe-, [laughs]. It s a great name. The Morning Show. [affects exaggerated newscaster voice] Good morning. There s a lot of people on there that talk like this. Anyway, um, there s some hot chicks on it. Like, um, Liza Fromer who used to be on Breakfast Television. She s fairly hot. Great jugs. Yeah, nice to see her back on TV. Two kids and she s still got great jugs. And then, uh, some other chick who s fairly hot in a blue blazer. And then that Daru Dhillon. She used to be on Sportsnet. What a body. Holy crap. And don t forget about Leslie Roberts. [all laugh] [in effeminate voice] What an ass! [all laugh] He s a super nice guy. Well, he s just, I guess he s just on right now to, uh 1

2 2 To, to To lend support. Moral support. To watch their morning show. But it s good. Look at her jugs. Dude, Liza s jugs haven t skipped a beat since she, uh, [Shapiro chuckles] since she left Breakfast Television. It s like six years ago, seven years ago. She left Breakfast Television to squeeze out a couple of kids. Apparently she s married to a very nice man. Todd, you know him. Get back on it. Yeah, a very nice, super, super good dude actually. Lucky guy because those jugs just keep goin. Uh, the jugs don t quit. He is, he, he would probably agree he s a very lucky man. Is he? Would he? I m, I m sure he would. Well, his wife s back at work. [all laugh] Yeah, that s right. Time for you to go make a buck, babe. [Shapiro laughs] But just great jugs. She s aged a bit. [Shapiro snickers] Hey, it has been once. I know her. She s so nice, man. Oh dude, she s super nice. I, I, I, I don t think I ve, I think maybe I ve met her Oh, okay. Member and she was on my list of chicks that I d like to do? Yeah! She was, like, number two I think! She was number two on my list of chicks Oh yeah. It was a coffee table book I was going to put out called Chicks that Could Touch My Thing. They were, like, news chicks.

3 3 It was, like, local celebrities. That s what it was. Yeah, yeah, it was chicks. Yeah, yeah. And Liza Fromer was like number two at the time. She s down the list now. She s top ten still, for sure. Who s number one? On my list? I ve recently had to, uh, go, uh, would you like me to share it with you? [??] touch my thing. Okay, coming up next I ll share with you my top ten list of chicks that could It ll be a coffee table book before you know it. And, uh, what you do is, um, when you open, like, it s a book that turns into, like on Seinfeld, you turn it into a coffee table. Oh! It s got legs and stuff. Nice. And then you open it up and in, you know what? It s a pop-up? It s a pop-up book. Yeah? And each chick that can touch my thing is spread eagle. Awesome. Really? And it has a little tab you can pull to make them move a little bit. [all laugh] I hope, I hope, I hope it doesn t pop up too high cause we re talking about females here. [all laugh] No, just the legs pop out like this. Oh. Okay.

4 4 Surprise! Spread eagle. Like they re skiing. What about boobies? Cause they re like a V formation. They re there, dude, they re there. Okay. Beautiful. With the set of whatever news show there in the background? Oh, that s nice. Chicks that Can Touch My Thing, comin up next. I love this show. October 12, 2011, 7:00 am Blundell is reading s from listeners. This is from, uh, it doesn t say. I think it s, I think it s a dude, though. [reads ] I have a new move for you. It s called the freezie. After you finish in a condom, take it off and get [trails off]. Oh, just like a Freezie. No way! No. Is he talking about freezing it? No. No, he s talking about [trails off]. The way Ohhh! Yeah, yeah. [all laugh] The freezie. Oh that s pretty funny. I know. That s awesome. I wish the guy left his name so I could give him full marks for it. But I can t, it s just an initial. And then a last name, but we can t read last names No. unless otherwise pre-consented. So, you know.

5 5 awesome. Wow. Congratulations to whoever sent me the move about the freezie. That s Freee-zie. Yeah, you take the safe after you ve just made it busy. You take a previously-busy safe, if you know what I mean? Kids, ask your parents. And then you, you, like a Freezie. Yep. Run the old thumb in. Yep. Beautiful. What a great move, huh? I don t know. It s a great move. Isn t that awesome? It d be funny to watch. [laughter] [affects funny voice] You want a freezie? [laughter] Extra glazed. [all laugh] Have a freezie. At all. That is a sweet move. [affects funny voice] They don t sell that at the Freezie shop. [all laugh] It is a warm Freezie. [disgusted] Oh, oh, oh. [Blundell laughs] It s a Warmie. [all laugh] October 12, 2011, 7:10 am The Edge. It s the Red Hot Chili Peppers and, uh, The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie. Good morning. 7:10. Uh, did you guys see these ads? I think they re on some buses and some, about JesusWeen? What? We talked about it last week. JesusWeen. Have you seen it? No.

6 6 JesusWeen. Bunch of religious freakos, uh, trying to overtake Halloween. No. So there s, like, JesusWeen dot com. So I almost just swore. I almost said Are you f-ing kidding me?. No. So what I did was, is I Yeah? Uh, I went to the Google machine, googled JesusWeen.com. Here it is. [reads from website] It s a non-profit organization known as JesusWin. We are focused on helping people live better lives through the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. JesusWeen is a God-given vision which was born as an answer to the cry of many every October 31 st. The dictionary meaning of ween is to expect, believe it or not? Therefore, we see October 31 st as a day to expect a gift of salvation and re-think receiving Jesus. So basically they re just trying to take over Halloween. You know, -- way. JesusWeen? And call it JesusWeen. Because then, uh, the religious freak-jobs get their The day after Halloween is All Saints Day. They already have a day. Mm hm. They want two days?! Leave Halloween alone. Sons, sons-of-bitches got Christmas and Easter too. Don t even get me started on those two. And we get that off. Are we allowed, are we allowed dressing up? Are we allowed dressing up on As the Lord. Yeah, is that what you do? Your favourite Bible character.

7 7 I would get dressed up as the Lord five seconds before his crucifixion. That would be what I would do. I would get dressed up like that. Wow. That s a lot of blood. Yeah, that is a lot of blood. I got a bit of Jesus look goin on. Yeah, you do. I m good for that one. You got the right nationality too. Yeah, that s right! [Blundell laughs] Be the king. JesusWeen. That is, people are Listen to this. [affects effeminate voice] Our mission is to ensure that JesusWeen becomes a global phenomenon. First of all, the name s very gay. JesusWeen? Any time that you say Jesus and Ween, I just think of Breasts? Penis. Yeah, it sounds like, no, it sounds like you re talking about his thingie. Yeah, cause you call it a wenis, right? Right, right, right, right, right. So, hey, uh, how s Jesus ween? I don t know. Ask Mary Magdalene. [Welsman & Shapiro laugh] [Shapiro makes funny noises] How s Jesus ween? I don t know. Ask one of the 12 disciples. Welsman & Oh! [laugh] [affects effeminate voice] Probably Stephen. Oh, ha. [laughs] [effeminate voice] Might ve been John. Because the rooster crowed three times, if you know what I m saying. [all laugh] They were all together, yeah. [effeminate voice] Cock-a-doodle-doo, Jesus ween. You thought that for a while.

8 Big time. [laughter] What a terrible name 8 JesusWeen. -- for a religious movement. JesusWeen. And they created a webs-, Yeah, there s a whole website. Like, do people not have anything better to do in this world? Oh, there s a whole explanation of JesusWeen here too. Hang on. Uh, put this in queue for me. Or put it on. Yeah, thanks, John. [audio clip from JesusWeen website. Woman s voice: It s almost October 31 st and many families are gearing up for Halloween. But this year a Christian group is encouraging many Christians to give out Bibles and Christian gifts in a friendly way.] You can t eat a Bible! Yep. Bibles go great right through your window after you get one, though too, eh? [Blundell laughs] Just like eggs. Yeah, they do, they do. So do those apples. It s not called trick or prayer. [replays audio clip: It s almost October 31 st and many families are gearing up for Halloween. But this year a Christian group is encouraging many Christians to give out Bibles and Christian gifts ] hot. I ll say this. This Jesus freak here, I d knock the shorts off her. She s pretty Is she really? [audio clip: in a friendly way. They hope to have many churches and bookstores benefit, as people buy Christian items and hopefully the gifts will get ] Oh, the Lord needs to profit. I forgot about that. Yeah, yeah. You gotta go buy some Bibles and Christian trinkets. [audio clip: -- people interested in joining a church. Their spokesperson said they would love to see JesusWeen in various cities and towns. They also mention enjoying high traffic and good response on discussions on JesusWeen.com and their Facebook page.]

9 9 It s a Oh my god. Listening to the hots, hot chick say JesusWeen makes me laugh. [laughs] I know. [affects effeminate accent] JesusWeen. JesusWeen [audio clip: They would like you to talk to your pastors and friends about JesusWeen, an October 31 st gift-giving festival.] All: Hey. The JesusWeen gift-giving. You don t wanna know about that. [Blundell & Shapiro laugh] It s so ridiculous. Maybe that s what all those priests have been calling it for years. [laughs & affects funny voice] Oh, it s the Jesus ween. JesusWeen. It is a holiday, you know. We know who celebrates the holiday. Yeaah. It s very scary. [Shapiro makes strange laugh noise] JesusWeen. Let me tell you something right now. All you people who are, and this is it. You know, especially the born-again Christians cause, uh, I ve got a brother who s a reverend. Trust me, I get it. I ve been to private Christian schools my whole life. My family loves the Lord, which is great and they need it. That s awesome. about religion. stuff. This is just absolutely nothing but awfulness. This is everything that s awful I agree. Everything. And you know why? Because they re tryin to get you to go buy I know! On a fun holiday! Yeah! Just want all the kids get dressed up like And he Yeah! some kind of little Planet of the Apes deal and he wants to go next door.

10 10 That s all. Get some Reese s Peanut Butter Cups. That s all they want. That s it. Caramel candy. They hate those things, dude. But I m tellin you, that s all this is. Is just, would you, would you stand in front of the candy store? Sugar Mountain? And pre-, and go, Kids, don t go in there! That candy s not for the Lord! It s for the devil. Gotta have some Lord candy. Lord candy. I ll tell you right now, the Lord candy that that person s talking about is probably available in an altar and you can t go in there with your parents cause [breathes in deeply & sort of whispers] you ll tell. [chuckles] JesusWeen. one. The Christians are commercializing a holiday. Can you believe it? It just sounds so strange, though, still. It does. JesusWeen? Yes. I just think of the Lord s pecker. That s all I think about. Stick to All Saint s Day. Not even! Stick to Christmas. Yeah, cause nobody knows what All Saint s Day is. Yeah, but, I mean, if they re, they have to pick a new one, just choose that Jesus s birthday. Why don t you celebrate that? Don t try and screw up a candy holiday for the kids. That s a great holiday. Leave it alone! I ll tell you this, you peckerheads! Yeah? This is a true story too. It s my favourite day with my kids. I can take all three of my kids and we walk around the block, like, four times. And we hit each house twice. And that s what they like to do. And I have a great time doin it. That s fun. Cause I walk around with a spirit in my hand.

11 11 And I like to go clubbing on that night. And get dressed up like a French maid and take one from two dudes. You know, [Blundell laughs] it s my excuse to be a slut like every other female. [all laugh]