Allen Ginsberg: The Origins of "Howl" and "Kaddish"

Transcription

1 The Iow Review Volume 8 Issue 2 Spring Article Allen : The Origins of "Howl" "Kddish" Jmes Breslin Follow this dditionl works t: Prt of Cretive Writing Commons Recommended Cittion Breslin, Jmes. "Allen : The Origins of "Howl" "Kddish"." The Iow Review 8.2 (1977): Web. Avilble t: This Contents is brought to you for free open ccess Iow Reserch Online. It hs been ccepted for inclusion in The Iow Review n uthorized dministrtor of Iow Reserch Online. For more informtion, plese contct lib-ir@uiow.edu.

2 of fresh ground rye, kned for bout 20 minutes with more wter 3 smll hfuls of slt. Flour hs bord shpe loves. This should mke 6 loves of 4-5 pounds. Bke t bout 275? for one to one---hlf hours. Appendix II CHARLOTTE'S WAG? Sid Blum CRITICISM / JAMES BRESLIN Allen : The Origins of "Howl" "Kddish" Most literry people hve probbly first become wre of Allen through medi, in his self-elected controversil role s public figure prophet of new ge. 's public personlity hs over chnged yers?from defint histrionic ngry young mn of fifties to berded benign ptrirch politicl ctivist of sixties seventies?but personlity hs remined one tht most literry people find hrd to tke seriously. Compre 's reception with tht of 82 University of Iow is collborting with JSTOR to digitize, preserve, extend ccess to The Iow Review

3 Normn Miler, nor writer who is lso public figure one who, like, wnts to replce rtionl with mgicl thinking s mode of public discourse. Miler's public ppernces his confessionl writ ings chrcteristiclly begin humiliting but end promoting himself, y hve been enormously successful: Miler's tlents hve been widely exggerted, especilly cdemic critics, who lredy hve pro duced severl studies of his work. Miler hs succeeded becuse his oriz on ing ll mtters from digestive to politicl system, no mtter how bizrre or brutl content, re developed kind of intellectulizing most even literry people respect, when it is dopted (s in Miler) hlf in spirit of put-on. is t lest s intelligent, lot less brutl, often lot more self-wre, but mn who took off his clos t Los Angeles poetry reding, who chnted "Om" during gssings in Grnt Prk t 1968 Democrtic Convention in Chicgo, who hs experimented with wide vriety of drugs, strikes those mnning liter ry rmchirs s t best figure of fun or, more likely, thret to western civiliztion. 's role s public figure hs been prt of his ttempt to ressert romntic role of poet s prophet; but one result of it hs been tht his genuine literry tlents more dmirble personl quli ties hve been obscured. It is true tht, so fr, qulity of 's writing hs been too incon sistent for him to rnk s mjor poet. writes often, quickly,, s his creer hs dvnced, pprently without too much revision; his cult of spontneity results in unevenness, but it lso some genertes of rel strengths of his writing. A poet like Eliot, crefully turning lifetime's ex perience into single volume of highly finished work, helped to crete myth ( dominnt when to write begn ) of modern rtist who, in literry revolutionry spite of himself, remined hrd-working, disci plined crftsmn. Like mny contemporry poets,, n vowed revolutionry, seems much more willing to risk imperfection, even filure; wht he hopes to gin is n honesty immedicy of feeling, rr thn finish of well-wrought work of rt. When he is lest successful, Gins berg hs drifted into solipsism of purely privte ssocitions, s he does in drug poems in Kddish Relity Swiches, or he hs fllen into predictble ptterns of thought feeling chrcteristic of polemi cist, s he does in much of his politicl poetry. But relly exciting mo ments in reding come when he breks through to new orders in poem in self-understing. "Howl" (1956), "Kddish" (1959), "The Chnge: Kyoto-Tokyo Express" (1963), "Wles Visittion" (1967)?ll poems of some length, ll evolving from pressures of some personl crisis?se poems seem to me to be min such moments in 's creer. 83

4 Of se most powerful? influentil?pper to be "Howl" "Kddish." Severl poets hve testified to importnce of 's erly poetry in estblishing n lterntive to well-mde symbolist poem tht ws fshionble in fifties, his erly work does fuse two modes? confessionl visionry?tht were to become importnt in six ties.1 Not tht cse for cn only be mde on historicl grounds; both poems, given intense concentrted energy of ir surrelistic lnguge, ir vivid cretion of world of primitive terrors hllucintory brillince, ir striking shifts of voice mood, hve genuine literry mer it. For long time, ir explosive poetic energy hs been missed, prtly becuse of distrctions of "shocking" lnguge mtter (drugs, mdness, suicide, homosexulity, incest), but minly becuse mny reders, still not symptic to kind of form found in se poems, hve c cused m of n bsence of form. Moreover, while y chieve literry form ttin public impct, se poems derive from deep, long-st ing privte conflicts in?conflicts tht ultimtely stem from his mbivlent ttchment to his mor, his difficulties in sserting seprte, independent personlity. While re is progression of self-wreness from "Howl" (1956) to "Kddish" (1959), both works seem to me to ex pose rr thn to resolve se conflicts, though y mke vlint efforts t such resolution. Neverless, it is 's bility to probe se res of conflict tht lrgely explins ir innovtive energy powerful p pel. * <* * Allen is sl mysticl messinic poet with intense suicidl wishes persistent self-doubts, would-be spontneous rtist whose most spontneous thoughts chrcteristiclly turn towrd feelings of being sti fled inhibited?wlled bounded in? thus towrd longings for some pinful, poclyptic delivernce?ultimtely deth itself. To red notebooks journls tht hs kept from dolescence onwrds is to encounter mn with griose hopes for himself, but one who re lentlessly flggeltes himself for his filures who tends to ssume tht ll his undertkings will end, just s y hve ended, in disster.2 Just published Indin Journls (kept during ) mply revel how this out serene wrdly brd is intrigued with filure deth, spending much of his time contemplting ghts where Indin ded re cremted. Of of lte fifties erly sixties, Lwrence Ferlinghetti remembers, "he is flippy flesh mde word / he speks word he hers in his flesh / word is Deth."3 To sy ll this is not to sy tht 's mnner public is flse but tht, on contrry, it hs been hrd-won. And poems like "Howl" "Kddish" hve key plce in evolution of his personlity, developing out of time in his life when his 84

5 cretive impulses cme into something like blnce with his propensities for self-destruction. As himself tells it? version of his life we should pproch skepticlly? story of his literry creer in wy rel story of his life begin with his removl from New York to Sn Frncisco in "Howl" is not?contrry to populr impression? work of n ngry young mn. When he wrote poem, ws 30; in 1953, when he left fmily, friends estblished literry culture behind him in Est, he ws 27?being, like his friend Jck Kerouc, romntic werer who found it difficult to sever fmily ties. himself sees 1953 journey west s crucil symbolic kind of ct: "It ws like big proph ecy, tking off for Cliforni. Like I hd pssed one seson of my life it ws time to strt ll over gin."4 It ws not quite this esy finl, s we shll see; but moving west ws drmtic ttempt to loosen prentl grip?to free himself from pressures creted his mor's long history of illness s well s his psychotic frequently crimonious reltion with his fr. Going west ws, in short, turn wy from thretening imges of filure, disintegrtion, suffoction he ssocited with home? gesture to wrd future, towrd life, n ttempt to strt ll over gin s his own mn. Yet it is lso true tht mde this journey hlf looking bck over his s in shoulder?just "Howl" he would return to experience emotions of his life in New York in lte forties in Prt III of poem ("Crl Solomon, I'm with you in Rockl.") deny tht he hd ever left. It is certinly mistken to imgine recreted floting into Sn Frncisco on mgic crpet, dressed in long robes, with flowing hir, h cymbls "Sn Frncisco Poetry Renissnce" bnner. The Gins berg tht emerged in "Howl"? rncorous somewht gloomy mystic seer?must in some sense hve been re, but he ws p prently hidden t first beneth deferentil conventionl exterior. In fct, it would be more ccurte to imgine him rriving in three-but ton suit, striped tie, n ttch? cse. Soon fter his rrivl in Sn Frn cisco, ws looking for job in mrket reserch, he quickly found one. There ws no reson he shouldn't?since this ws precisely kind of work he hd been doing bck in New York. Not long fter he secured job, becme involved with womn, with whom he eventully moved into n prtment in Sn Frn cisco's posh Nob Hill district. Life went long in this style for severl months in fll of 1953-until begn seeing rpist t Lng ley-porter Institute, Dr. Phillip Hicks, to find out why neir job nor womn seemed to stisfy him. According to, t one point in his tretment, doctor sked, 85

6 "Wht would you like to do? Wht is your desire, I relly?" sid, "Doctor, I don't think you're going to find this very helthy cler, but I relly would like to stop working forever?never work gin, never do nything like kind of work I'm doing now? do nothing but write poetry hve leisure to spend dy outdoors go to museums see friends. And I'd like to keep living with someone? even mybe mn? explore reltionships tht wy. And cultivte my perceptions, cultivte visionry thing in me. Just literry quiet city-hermit existence." Then, he sid, "Well, why don't you?"5 In severl interviews discusses this encounter, mythologizing it into The Gret Brekthrough tht llowed him to strt new life. As Gins berg tells it, doctor's tolernt cceptnce of 's unconventionl desires encourged self-cceptnce end of his misguided ttempts to plese his fr?both of which, in turn, generted "Howl." So, story goes, wrote report showing how his firm could replce him with computer; y fired him he went on unemployment, free to enjoy "quiet city-hermit existence." By this time he hd met lredy Peter Orlofsky, n student living with pinter Robert in Lvigne North Bech, 's incresing involvement with Orlofsky dis turbed womn he ws living with. The eventul result?gin not fol too lowing long fter episode with Dr. Hicks?ws tht left ffluent Nob Hill for downtown Montgomery Street, to live with Orlofsky. And soon fter se drmtic shifts in his life he begn writing "Howl." Yet ccount 's of se events sounds suspiciously like fntsy of mgicl cure, reding of journls he t kept time revels tht even chronology hs been trnsformed bit to promote myth of Brekthrough.6 Actully, continued to work t his mrket re serch job for three or four months fter he moved in with Orlofsky in so fr s his journls revel his mood t time, y suggest he felt de not pressed, liberted, when he lost his job. Moreover, while strongly implies tht his rpy ( even need for it) ended with his doctor's on lying of hs, journls indicte tht he continued in tret ment, perhps for s s long severl months, including time in which "Howl" ws written. Moreover, lengthy lmost dily entries from lte 1954, when he first met Orlofsky, show tht entered into this reltionship with sme expecttions of slvtion sme premoni tions of disster with which he n lunched ll his ctivities. An entry for April 20, 1955?written four months fter he hd strted living with Orlof sky?vividly conveys his mood t time, it ws not one of emnci pted self-cceptnce: 86

7 Not writing enough wht cn I sy?rpid exchnge of events, jobloss, no peterloss,?isoltion, one I love loves me no contct, isoltion?fcing loss of Jck [Kerouc] Bill s [Burroughs] previous loss of contct with L? myths held for decde to fill time.7 "Howl" does ffirm its uthor's cpcity to survive n gonizing ordel; yet poem is chrged with eqully strong feelings of personl literry filure, isoltion, most powerfully, loss, feelings of this journl entry mny ors like it. In fct, both "Howl" "Kddish" rect to loss in precisely wy suggested in journl?not cceptnce working through loss, but idelizing, mythologizing, lost object (" myths held for decde to fill time"). In ddition, more creful look t wht tells of trnsction with his psychitrist suggests different interprettion from one sup plied himself. In this encounter, he hs clerly trnsferred onto doctor, to speking him s if he were speking to his fr, con fessing his intimte feelings bout work, bout homosexulity, bout "vis or ionry" hllucintory experiences tht he (like his mor) hd experi enced. He knows his fr dispproves of ll this, he dispproves him self of se impulses, but projects such criticism onto doctor: "I don't think you're going to find this very helthy cler." He expects to be denounced, but wht he hers is wht he lwys wnted to her from his fr?permission. Permission is not, however, only possible interpre ttion of doctor's "Well, why don't you?"? remrk tht could hve led to exmine his inhibitions, ultimtely, origins of his wish es, ll yernings tht, s we shll see, lign him with mor, ginst fr. The doctor, revelingly comments, gve him " u so thority, to to spek, be myself"?s if this were uthority externl to him.8 In Young Mn Lur, Erik Erickson points out tht young men in stte of "identity diffusion," s ws clerly t this time, often trns form ir rpy into "something like Jcob's struggle with ngel, wrestling for benediction which is to led to ptient's conviction tht he is n live person,, s such, hs life before him."9 seem, ingly stisfied with "benediction" rr thn fuller explortion of his wishes fers, temporrily wrestles himself "free" from guilt?but remins dependent upon uthority of forgiving fr for permission to be himself. In this we cn see some exchnge of motives for 's own lter doption of role of tolernt, benign ptrirch towrd younger people?while he himself turns continully towrd older men (from Mrtin Buber to Swmi Shivnnd) in serch for ressurnce tht he does indeed hve to uthority be himself, right to life of his own. 87

8 It should come s no surprise tht virtue of cross moving country n cquiring idelized fr figure in his doctor, hd ccom plished less thn complete brek with his pst. Both removl to "sfe" distnce supportive context of rpy probbly helped him more to explore, rr thn shed, pst, it ws very insistence of his privte life s mteril for his poetry tht pushed wy from predominnt ide of poem s impersonl rtifct towrd sense of poem s confessionl outpouring. In relity of lte fifties mnifests powerful wish to strike out on his own, long with n eqully powerful fer of freedom. A poem like "Howl" sserts ngrily "rel" self of its uthor, "ngel-heded hipster" persecuted socil pternl uthority, poem does so with kind of tormented exhilr tion tht suggests relese of long-repressed feelings. More cry of pin thn of nger, "Kddish," n elegy for 's mor, lso seeks to f firm new seprte life for poet. Yet for ll of rebelliousness of "Howl" ll protesttions of ccepted loss in "Kddish," both poems view independent life (in lnguge of s journl) "isoltion" "loss." Independence submission, struggling towrd future being drwn bck into pst: such re conflicts tht inform best of 's poetry?in wys tht we cn see even more clerly exmining dynmics of his ttchments to both his prents. Anyone who hs met Louis or herd him red his poems t one of joint redings he's given with his son will hve encountered short, sturdy mn well into his seventies, with lrge inquiring eyes slightly frowning, rr oppressed expression. At first glnce he seems, in his poems s well s his person, modest mild mn, very likely cidte for just tht kindly, forgiving fr tht wished for, mn whose wekness might be reluctnce to ssert his uthority rr thn in with holding his sympthy. Yet ttitude of mutul respect which two men now disply towrd ech or hs qulity of n unesy truce which, if unlikely to brek into open hostilities is still filled with criticl sniping from both sides. At lest this is impression creted Jne Krmer in her Allen in Americ, in especilly her report of Sundy morning converstion in Pterson, prior to one of ir fr/son reding perform nces. Louis inquires if Allen hs "some good clos for to reding twits his son night," for not being home enough, scolds him for not writing enough when wy, denounces lck of discipline in Allen's life poetry, lludes to his unesily son's greter fme. Allen himself, showing more perhps discipline thn his fr credits him for, responds with gentle tolernce, even when issues become little more chrged. At one point, fter Allen's friend Mrett nnounces tht her sdhn is hshish, Mr. sks, 88

9 "Wht's with this Mrett? Why cn't you bring home nice Jewish girl?", lughing, threw up his hs. "For love of God, Louis," he sid, "here for yers you've been sying, 'Plese, just bring home girl for chnge,' now tht I do, you wnt Jewish one?" "You're such n experimenter, Allen," Mr. sid. "Tibetn Buddhist girl friends. Swmis, Drugs. All this tlk from you bout pot?it's so elevting, Louis. So ecsttic. My soul is outside my body. I see " ultimte relity.' Mr. frowned. "You know wht? sy? I sy, 'Allen, tke it "10 esy.' With Louis in his seventies Allen nering 40, fr still does not ccept son's style of independence, while son's experimentl style itself seems rrived t s direct chllenge to fr's uthority test of his love. In this exchnge most sensitive persistent issues between two re touched on?fmily loylty, drugs, homosexulity, vis ions of ultimte mnner relity?in tht suggests mollifying (here through humor) of conflicts tht were erlier expressed with much more crimony. In John Clellon Holmes' novel of Bet Genertion, Go? book he sys he tried to mke s ccurte s conver fctully possible? stions between Dvid Stofsky () his fr seem to repre sent originl clshes, on ritulisticlly repeted much lter Sundy morning in Pterson. When [Stofsky] got home, he nnounced to his fr tht he hd "visions," when this brought forth little more thn pseudo-literry rection, he on ppended, reckoning its effect, tht he ws frid he ws going md. His fr rewrded him with sme sort of hys tericl outburst tht hd seized him when, fter severl weeks of hesi tnt feelers, Stofsky hd confessed his homosexulity. The two hd n unesy reltionship nywy, t bottom of which ws mutul dis trust, when y were toger y invribly squbbled over philosophicl mtters or Stofsky's "evil compnions of city" ( s his fr clled m ).n The Allen Archives t Columbi contin n incomplete but still quite extensive correspondence between fr son, dting from Allen's dys t Columbi in mid 1940s down to erly seventies. Much of is over correspondence given to intricte often heted politicl, morl, literry debtes. At time when his son, still n under ws grdute, self-consciously identifying himself s decdent rdent ly reding such dvnced modern thinkers s Gide, Spengler, Rimbud, 89

10 Budelire, Louis dvised: "A little of Greek idel of modertion would do you no hrm, m'ld";12 fr's cn perspective be briefly chrcterized s deliberte cultivtion of moderte, well-blnced, prc ticl pproch to life, though with decided tilt towrd cutionry in his delings with his son. Once in while, fr explodes. As lte s 1955, with Allen nering 30, Louis wrote: "All your vehement, vporous, vitupertions of rebellion move me not one jot. Your ttitude is irrespon sible? it stinks."13 In much erlier letter, probbly written during 's second yer t Columbi, fr proposes sfety of c commodtion wrns ginst precisely those "devint" routes his son ws to tke up. Even if norml vlues re rtionliztions s well s bnorml ones, ltter, s norml vlues qu norml ones, result in better sfer djustment to society greter integrtion of person. Accord ing to your blnket sttement, you would brcket rtionliztions of homosexul or n insne person s stisfctory for society for person. The homosexul insne person is mence to him self to society. Dnger disster lie tht wy! Your clever verbl solutions re incongruous with [] relity of life. You re developed intellectully; but, emotionlly, you lg.14 In his letters, s in his poetry, Louis mnner is 's chrcteristiclly sententious; but his timeless truths re often vowedly bsed eir on uthority of his greter experience in world or ppels to "sfety" of his position rr thn its intrinsic vlue. The letters show genuine concern for troublesome son, but it is lso esy to see how his son might get impression tht fr holds tht truth cn be rrived t crefully exmining both sides of every question, n coming down re soundingly in fvor of sttus quo. The trouble with Allen's undergrd ute literry hero Rimbud, his fr tells him, is tht French poet sought "bsolute morl vlues" rr thn "dequte morl vlues."15 At bout sme time, just fter reding Krl Shpiro's Essy on Rime, Louis sserted tht, of course, modern poets reject "superstitions in religious fith" y detect hypocricies beneth surfce mores of con temporry society, BUT y should not lep to pessimistic conclusions: y must remin "cler-heded" enough (unlike Allen) to reject "dec dence" s well opt for "prgmtic vlues." "Concluding, I sy, Allen, suspend your judgment; wlk blnced between seen world unseen one; tke cre of your helth!"16 In fct, in letter wrning ginst Rimbud, Louis hd pronounced tht one "must resign himself to prgmtic vlues or commit suicide."17 90

11 But son, who lter ws to solve problem of vlues dopting "religious fith," not only refused to suspend his judgment; he sserted rdicl views, declring, for instnce, ll modern civiliztion corrupt disintegrting. Such views fr dismisses, in key term, s "off-bl nce."18 It is cler tht ech, questioning or's love, questions or's sense of relity dems tht or "see things s I do." A visionry poem sent to Louis in 1958 is judged s "brillintly myopic."19 In ir long cold wr politicl debte beginning in lte fifties, Allen is ccused of distorted vision, which mkes him too hrsh on United Sttes too esy on Soviet Russi. And in ir ongoing literry rgu ments, ttitudes of prentl cution gin clsh with dolescent egotism rebellion. The older mn conceives of poetry s prcticl crft, gen erted emotion shped individul vision but designed to effect immedite commuiction with firly wide udience hence comfort bly drwing on trditionl resources of technique lnguge. Louis, stedfst trditionlist fter 40 yers of modernist experiment, likes verse "net, / Exct, / Compct? / To file / My style / And pre / It bre";20 but son who, s we shll see, feels he cn only relly identify himself in cts tht shtter estblished boundries (of self, of lit erry form), insists on poetic mens tht re more mple, more free? more griose. In follow-up letter on Shpiro poem, Louis ttcks modernist verse s "willfully obscure," unnecessrily creting "gulf be tween poet intelligent reder."21 In his view, " idel of poem is tht it give generl mening to mny deeper more complex experience to few," n idel encted in his own prctice.22 Moreover, letters frequently offer comments on exchnged poems: Al len's erliest verses re often prised, but just s often criticized s too "knot ty," "impcted," "inchote"?in word, obscure.23 Agin messge is tht son should quit his pretentious inccessibility, his literry decdence, ccommodte himself to his udience. "Not bd dvice," nyone who hs red se poems might conclude, but it no doubt struck young poet s philistine old fogeyism. Allen's poems re fulted, however, on deeper thn stylistic grounds; ir "flse ssumptions" bout life re ques tioned s well.24 A key instnce is Louis 's rection to "Howl," poem in which his son publicly dmitted to very hllucintions, drug use, homosexulity his fr hd wrned him ginst. Significntly, sent copy of poem to his fr not too long fter its com pletion, s if poem, fr from being simply pure nked confession of 's inmost soul, mde some kind of hostile reference, per n to hps ppel, fr, who responded with chrcteristiclly bl " " nced ssessment. 'Howl,' he wrote, "is wild, volcnic, troubled, extrv gnt, turbulent, boisterous, unbridled outpouring, intermingling gems 91

12 flshes of picturesque insight with slg debris of scorie mtter. It hs violence; it hs life; it hs vitlity. In my opinion, it is one-sided neurotic view of life; it hs not enough gld, Whitmnin ffirmtions."25 The poem does hve emotionl force, vitlity, BUT its vision of life is, gin, off-blnce, sick?"one-sided" "neurotic" in its ngry disillusion ment. In view of deep, persistent, often crimonious conflicts between two men, it is tempting to red "Moloch," wrthful child-devouring deity of "Howl," s n ngry representtion of fr. But to derive from poem picture of uthor s essentilly innocent victim of sdistic, persecutory uthorities is to derive exctly picture uthor would like us to crry from poem. "Howl" my be n honest confession of 's conscious t feelings time he wrote it, but mny of poem's rebellious ttitudes serve s ctully defense ginst feelings tht he is less ble or willing to dmit. It is true tht Louis becme focus for mny of his son's resentments, while mny of se griev nces relly derived from or sources, nger lso hd some genuine bsis in s relity, did his criticisms of socil system. Even ir corres pondence, where conflicts might be more in beynce thn in en personl counters, revels pternl vitupertion ultimtums?e.g., letter sent to Allen in summer of 1948 which consisted simply of sentence "Exor cise Nel," reference to 's erotic ttchment to Nel Cssdy t time26? fr seems to hve insisted upon son's successful completion of college his s becoming, Allen put it, " fine upsting completely virile son."27 Moreover, fr often questions not just his son's judgments but his very mentl blnce, sensitive issue given his mo r's history of psychotic illness. Yet if Allen fered his fr s severe judge ngry persecutor, it is lso cler tht he felt deep ttchment dmirtion for Louis, origin of recurrent imge of idelized, tender fr in his poetry. It ws his fr, fter ll, who introduced to poetry literture, n re in which Louis himself seemed to disply rel mstery which his son ws to mke his own life's work. Moreover, Nomi ws mor who ws often or even emotionlly physiclly bsent?or frighteningly present. As Louis remembers in memoir clled "My Son Poet," In erly yers of my mrrige, shdow of sorrow fell on our fmily. My wife, Nomi, somehow developed neurosis, which, s yers went on, thickened into psychosis. She would two or spend three yers in snitrium, n I'd tke her out for hlf yer or 92

13 yer. After tht, ominous hints of her worsening condition mde me tke her bck. Once, when he hd decided to tke her bck to hospitl, she thretened, n ttempted suicide, slshing her wrists in bthroom. She opened [ door] cme out with blood oozing t both wrists. were They surfce cuts, so I bged m got her to bed. The boys stood re, shivering in ir night clos, pnic in ir eyes. Wht trums, I thought, might sink into m burrow into ir psyches.28 In view of Nomi 's illness, pt to mke her rigid in her expect tions of her son's behvior unpredictble in her own, it is likely tht her son turned to his fr s refuge, to hoping find both point of st bility in fmily benign protector. And it is in such yernings for ( memories of) tender ttchment with tolernt older mle tht we find beginnings of 's lter serch for kind of mternl fr, of sort he felt he'd found in Dr. Hicks in Sn Frncisco in such lit erry mentors s Whitmn Blke. "The Fr is merciful," ecstticlly proclims in "Trnscription of Orgn Music"; wht he contin ully seeks is some mild, ccepting, Christ-like sviour, who will protect him from terrifying spects of mor offer tender ccept nce tht she does not. Seeking slvtion from fr (rr thn recon cilition with him) inevitbly led to disppointment, but even during bristly period of his dolescence, clerly courted older mn's love pprovl striving to perform "good works." If Allen could con demn his fr's ssessment of one of his short stories s " symptom of smug normlcy of bourgeois intellectul ttitude," he ssured his fr in sme letter tht he ws no longer cutting clsses, indeed ws dressing decorously (even wering conservtive blck tie) hd "strted to relly get n eduction, mking most of re College turning unred to librry" ll his volumes of Gide Budelire.29 Similrly, when he wrote few yers lter tht he ws postponing his finl term t Columbi, he explined tht he ws so in doing order to sve enough money to strt course psychonlysis, erlier suggested fr himself. "Don't worry bout me becoming permnent wstrel just becuse I'm trying to 'sve my soul' s s scientificlly possible," he wrote.30 Such yernings to to yield fr (or his surrogte, psychitrist) lso threten, however rel his ttchment his desire to For plese. 's bsic imge of fr, during dolescence 93

14 erly mnhood, is neir tht of powerful foe nor tht of benign protector, but tht of timid, rr withdrwn mn, one who, with his cult of prcticlity normlity, hs himself surrendered to externl pres sures is thus finlly fered not becuse he is too powerful, but becuse he is not strong certin enough to sve his son. The picture of Louis we get in "Kddish" is tht of n introverted, neglectful mn, frightened, worried, humilited his wife's prnoid hllucintions but whose ttention, it seems, cn only be cught such poclyptic mens. In this view, mor son re linked s victims of fr's wekness neglect; finl impression of fr is one of ineffect ulity, inconsequence: Nomi, psychotic mor rr thn poet-fr, is celebrted s her son's muse. Moreover, Louis ws literry intellectul writer who tught English in high schools of Pterson who published poems in plces like editoril pges of New York Times Herld-Tribune. Wht my hve seemed like impressive ccomplishments to very young must boy hve come with incresing sophistiction ( griosity) of dolescence, to signify singulr lck of dring mbition. It is not too surprising, refore, to find in introduction tht wrote to fr's collection, Morning in Spring (1968), tht beneth ffectionte re spect with which now world-fmous son writes of his fr, we should her persistent hints of disppointment. "Living genertion with lyrics wrought my fr, some stnzs settle in memory s perfected," opens.31 This (unchrcteristiclly) deliberte, well-formed sen tence crefully defines n ttitude of respectful but hrdly enthusistic d mirtion, striking contrst to 's frequently effusive prise of such of his contemporries, like Jck Kerouc, who shre his own ultimte s sumptions. The son, remembering "some stnzs" but no pprently whole poems, is clerly not going out on ny criticl limbs for old mn, whose well-blnced views re now turned bck on him. As soon s Louis Gins berg is introduced, he is pitted (in losing bttle) ginst W. C. Willims. " Tn this mode perfection is bsic,' W. C. Willims wrote, excusing himself for rejecting my own idelised imbic rhymes sent him for inspection." (p. 11). Imitting Louis* idelized verses, went stry?until he ws sved bolder, more successful guide. In fct, in first three pges of introduction, mentions Willims Pound four times ech, every time mking n invidious comprison between ir boldness his fr's timidity. Sys of his fr's kind of poetry: I hve resisted this mode s n nchronism in my own time? nchronism of my own fr writing outworn verse of previous century voices, reechoing jded music fded effect or senti 94

15 ment of tht music in drem-life of his own sidestreet under dying phntom elms of Pterson, New Jersey?t very time tht Pterson itself ws (hving been rticulted to its very rock-strt foundtions boriginl wterfll voice in W. C. Willims' epic) degenerting into XX Century Mfi-Police-Bureucrcy-Rce-Wr-Nightmre TV-Squwk suburb, (p. 14) While Willims duntlessly combines primitive solidity with n wreness of contemporry socil relity, Louis neglects present, timidly withdrwing into "drem-life" of his peceful suburbn street. It is not just tht this estblishes him s n irrelevnt "nchronism," n unrelible guide for young mn entering bewildering world; cost of such with drwl is finlly loss of rel utonomy even life. The fr's guid ing voice is hollow, mere echo, not his own voice: is Dddy nobody. All lnguge ssocited with Louis in this pssge?"nchronism," "outworn," "jded," "fded," "dying phntom elms"?suggests deth, s if life hd been out spped of him. The son my tke certin stisfc tion in such diminishing thoughts of tht prentl uthority whose judg ments he fered. Yet with disppointment defeted ctul fr gen ertes "Pter Omnipotens Aetern Deus" of "Howl," "Lord4' of such s poems "Kddish," "Lughing Gs" "Mgic Pslm"?ll fntsies of n ll-powerful fr whose cn strength hel direct writer. So, dur ing erly phse of 's creer, erthly fr, whose "filure" son nxiously seeks to void for himself, becomes negtive model, ironic source for brdic griosity, literry experimenttion dr ing self-exposures tht chrcterize his son's poetry strting with "Howl." In fct, wht ppers to hve done in 1955 ws to tke up his fr's medium of communiction (poetry), declring it hollow ded, trnsformed it infusing it with hllucintory visions hu mn vulnerbility of his mor.????? "You still hven't finished with Elise Cowen "If only you knew How your poet son, Allen, Rves over world, Crzed for love of you!" Louis, your mor." to Allen, fter typing mnuscript to "Kddish."32 "To Mor Buried."33 One reson for 's disenchntment with his fr is tht he often looked t older mn through terrified? rncorous?eyes of his 95

16 mor. In exmining kind of grip Nomi hd on her son's feelings key document is "Kddish," confessionl/visionry/elegic poem in five prts in which (like Sylvi Plth in "Dddy") t tempts to trnsform literture into rpeutic mgic: to exorcise ghost of prentl influence. Neir of two poems, for ll ir literry brillince, succeeds in delivering poet from gonizing conflicts tht generte work in first plce, lthough comes closer. "Dddy" my heighten htred into form of hrd eloquence, but poem is pure nger destruction, with renounced fr trns simply formed from god-like to stnic figure: Plth, whose fr died when she ws just nine, ws never ble to mke crucil step of perceiving him s humn rr thn mythicl figure. In "Kddish" con fronts his nger t his mor's bstrction from life, her bonment of him in mdness, his disgust with her creless physicl hbits, his fscin tion with her sexully seductive mnner with him, his guilt bout his tret ment of her during her brekdowns?"kddish" lys bre ll se feelings n proceeds to declrtion of love for Nomi. In poem re is, s nnounces t strt of Prt II, "relese of prticu lrs," Nomi is encountered with elborte moving speci s ficity, complex humn figure.34 Yet it is lso true tht end Gins berg hs not resolved his divided feelings bout his "ftl Mm" (p. 27) s much s he clims; poem us tempts to think, like certin forms of r py, tht to get feelings out is to resolve m. But in fct poem, fr from moving towrd ideliztion of mor, culmintes with n po osis of deth (s relese from gonizing conflicts of life) yern ing for fusion with this lost prent. Nomi, member of Communist Prty from time of her youth, believed her life ws in dnger from politicl uthorities such s Hitler, Roosevelt, F.B.I, s well s fmily figures, notbly her mor her husb. Her fers chrcteristiclly concerned n in vsion of her self some externl, invisible, mlevolent gency tht could subtly creep inside possess her: poison gs filtering its wy under door, mnipultion of her thoughts mens of three brs inserted in her bck wired to her brin F.B.I, during one of her stys in hospitl. In "Kddish" seems to underst se fntsies of s extensions of sexul fers politicl persecution, though himself never sys so, it would be nturl for young boy to equte se fers of violtion with some ssult fr. In ny cse, Nomi Gins berg's prnoi ws drk side of wht her son clls her "md idelism" (p. 24), her intense yerning for Pure, Beutiful, Idel evident in her nostlgi for innocence of her girlhood, her politicl utopinism (which inspired her to write Communist firy tles?p. 16), her lterntely 96

17 dremy prnoid pintings ("Humns on sitting grss in some summers Cmp No-Worry yore?sints with droopy fces long-ill-fitting pnts"?p. 25), her romntic songs on plyed moline ("Lst night nightingle woke me / Lst night when ll ws still / it sng in golden moonlight / from on wintry hill"). As must boy hve dmired her intensity, been wed loftiness of her idelism, shred her fers of fr's "ssults." Yet both fers longings of Nomi dissocited her from immedite emotionl relities; wht mde her dmirble lso mde her distnt, even bewildering, terrifying? mde her son ngry. She, too, neglected Allen. "I will think nothing but beutiful thoughts," sys Nomi in "Kddish," she tells her son of seeing God dy before: "I cooked supper for him. I mde him nice supper?lentil soup, vegetbles, bred & butter?miltz...." At tht very moment she is serving Allen " plte of cold rw fish?chopped cbbge dript with tpwter?smelly tomtoes?week-old helth food... I cn't et it for nuse sometimes" (p. 2). "Kddish" fre quently refers to such nuse-inspiring mels. Nomi ws not Al providing len with true sustennce: son cnnot live on beutiful thoughts lone. Moreover, not only did his mor fil to tke cre of him, ws forced t crucil points in her illness to tke cre of her. In Allen's version t lest, his fr older bror evded relity responsibilities of Nomi's mdness, thus leving son youngest with excrutiting prcticl problems of deling with her illness. Both times she ws hospitl ized during 's lifetime, he ws one who hd to tke her to rest home or, worse, cll police for help. The first of se two episodes took plce when ws just 12. At exctly tht delicte point of trnsition between boyhood mnhood, between home world, independence were responsibility thrust on him, leving him frightened, resentful, uncertin, tormented with guilt. At tht time, when his mor strted hllucinting " mysticl ssssin from Newrk" (p. 13),, who hd styed home from school becuse she seemed so ner vous distrught, clled doctor, who recommended rest home. After long, humiliting bus ride, fter being thrown out of one rest home (be cuse Nomi hid in closet demed blood trnsfusion), Allen finlly left her lone in n ttic room, got on next bus home "ly my hed bck in lst set, depressed? worst yet to come??bon ing her, rode in ws torpor?i only 12." 12 riding bus t nite thru New Jersey, hve left Nomi to Prce in Lkewood's hunted house?left to my own fte?sunk in set?ll violins broken?my hert sore in my ribs?mind ws empty?would she were sfe in her coffin?(p. 15) 97

18 The sequence of feeling here?from t guilt boning her, to pity for his own isolted fte, to exhustion pthy to finlly wish tht she would die?revels 's desire to be relieved of his mor conflicts she triggers in him. And worst ws yet to come; tht night, telephone rng t 2AM?Emergency?she'd gone md?nomi hid ing under bed screming bugs of Mussolini?Help! Louis! Bub! Fscists! Deth!? lldy frightened?old fg ttendent screming bck t her (p. 17)., who hd lredy been criticized his fr for leving her re, sks himself, "my fult, delivering her to solitude?" It's possible question: nowhere sys exctly why he left her, it ws not some thing he hd to do, he describes himself sitting on her bed "witing to es cpe," hs wished her ded. The sitution, filled with stresses pinful even for n dult, must hve seemed unberbly complex for boy of 12. Lter, visiting her in hospitl, ws confronted with Nomi "begging my 13-yer-old boy mercy," sying 'Tke me home'?i went lone sometimes looking for lost Nomi, tking Shock? I'd sy, "No, you're crzy Mm,?Trust Drs." -(p. 19), still lter, just before her lst hospitliztion in lte forties, s Nomi imgines herself hounded Louis her own mor, '?No wires in room!'?i'm yelling t her?lst ditch, Eugene listen ing on bed?wht cn he do to escpe tht ftl Mm?'You've been wy from Louis for yers lredy?grm's too old to wlk?' We're ll live t once n?even me & Gene & Nomi in one myth ologicl Cousinesque room?screming t ech or in Forever?I in Columbi jcket, she hlf undressed. I bnging ginst her hed which sw Rdios, Sticks, Hitlers? gmut of Hllucintions?for rel?her own universe?no rod tht goes elsewhere?to my own?no Americ, not even world?(pp ) Even t this point much lter in dolescence, emphsizes wy his mor's mdness removed her into privte, hllucintory world ( "her own universe") where, beyond ll hystericl screming, she remined in ccessible ("no rod tht goes nowhere"). In her mdness Nomi tri umphntly trnscended relity, but boned her son, who, similrly de serted his fr bror, ws left in position of sserting relity, 98

19 ngrily denying vlidity of her visions delivering her over to those very uthorities?doctors police?she most fered. In sitution filled with stresses exhusting rected with remrkble strength. In "Kddish" he sks, "Louis wht hppened to your hert n?"?when he ws confronted with his terrified wife shrieking tht he hd clled out "poison cops": "Hve you been killed Nomi's ecstcy?" Allen ws not but he certin suspected hrdness in his strength, this intensifying guilt lredy ltent in sitution; "It's my fult," he must hve felt, "if I hd loved my mor more, this wouldn't hve to hppened her? to me." As n dolescent, ws left lone, serching for tht "lost Nomi" who hd nurtured him s young boy, fering those ecsttic hl lucintions of "ftl Mm" tht seemed to kill ll feeling m, yet to longing join her in drmtic intensity dence of her mdness. between trnscen From retrospective point of view of dult poet, idel wy to hle this excruciting sitution would be to ccept certin mount of nger vindictiveness s nturl, to emphsize positive strength tenderness tht did show so to view certin mount of "hrdness" s prerequisite for self-survivl; but this is no mens wht we find in "Kddish," where unresolved feelings of guilt prompt poet to exorcise her spirit be rid of her t lst? mneuver tht breks down, however, in view of his even stronger desire to return fuse with her in deth. The sources deepest of this we cn see in longing crucil pssge of "Kddish": One time I thought she ws trying to mke me come ly to her?flirting herself t sink?ly bck on huge bed tht filled most of room, dress up round her hips, big slsh of hir, scrs of opertions, pncres, belly wounds, bortions, ppendix, stitching of incisions pulling down in ft like hideous thick zippers?rgged long lips between her legs?wht, even, smell of sshole? I ws cold?lter revolted little, not much?seemed perhps good ide to try?know Monster of Beginning Womb?Perhps?tht wy. Would she cre? She needs lover, (p. 24) At first glnce this pssge seems dring reveltion of n incest wish shockingly relistic description of mor's body. But wht we relly see here is how one post-freudin writer, to pretending be open t ese bout incestuous desire, ffects wreness s sophisticted defense ginst intense longings nxieties. The lines re chrged with feelings tht poet, fr from "confessing out," ppers eger to deny. 's tone of voice is more noticebly defensive thn frnk: he ssumes n tti 99

20 rude of detched superiority towrd scene?idelizing ct into mythicl / psychologicl experiment ("know Monster of Beginning Womb") more performed for his mor's emotionl thn his: grtifiction "She needs lover." All of sexul inititive is ttributed to Nomi, l lowing her son, innocent in his sophistiction, to view himself s superior, liberted, compssionte individul, beyond conventionl morl re strints thus willing ble to give little to one help of his friends. Holding himself bove this emotionlly chrged sitution, seeks to deny both powerful ttrction he feels towrd his mor?s well s fers he s soon s experiences he imgines possibility of on cting it. The on persistent emphsis scrs, on prticulrly wounds mde cut n ting, suggests ssocition between femle body mutiltion, n ssocition frequent mong mle homosexuls who, perceiving womn's s body cstrted body of mn frightened t prospect of similr fte for mselves, re more comfortble with sexul prtners who lso hve penises. Immeditely following pssge I hve quoted, Gins berg drmticlly shifts subject, inserting first Hebrew words of "Kddish" ( mourning ritul) n turning to story of his fr. It is s if very thought of incestuous wishes immeditely provoked thoughts of deth presence of fr, who might dminister just tht punishment his son most fers. In fct, in Prt I of "Kddish" Nomi is lmented s victim who "fought knife?lost / Cut down" hertless fr wielding "shrp icicle" (pp ). Yet in his recollec tion of incestuous yernings, 's deepest fers seem inspired less Louis thn Nomi herself. When he does turn to his fr in suc ceeding lines, he presents his most poignnt picture of Louis: "hurt with 20 yers Nomi's md idelism"?fr son linked s victims of ll powerful mor (p. 24). Moreover, Nomi's womb is s imgined "mon ster" imges throughout poem reenforce our suspicion tht it is monster. devouring In Prt IV speks of his mor's pubic hir s "berd" ( trite imge of which he is inordintely fond)?s if her were vgin mouth (p. 34); in Prt II, on his lst visit to his mor in hospitl, he imgines door s "crotch," on or side of which lies deth. The quottion of Hebrew words of "Kddish" sug on gest, deepest level, 's ssocition of incest with deth. It is s if, were he to get too close to his mor, she would swllow him up? though he cn't finlly seprte himself from her eir. In "Kddish," s in ll of 's erlier poetry, conflict is one of versus seprtion unity. is never Seprtion independence but n lwys bsolute, sterile, frus trting isoltion, s in pssge where ll members of re fmily hystericlly screming t ech or yet with ech of m locked in pri vte world of his or her own, incommunicdo. The seprtion is so rdicl 100

21 tht it cnnot be resolved mere verbl or emotionl communiction ("her own universe?no rod tht goes elsewhere"); so to longs be delivered from this gonizing isoltion kind of self-nnihilting fus ion with mor. From this point of view we cn underst his incest uous desires s expressing 's wish to get inside his mor see s things she does. The progression of 's erly creer, in fct, is to wrd closer closer identifiction with her prnoid politics, her hl lucintory visions, even her physicl sloppiness sexul "looseness." In "Kddish"?s in "Howl"?bsolute isoltion lterntes with bsolute fusion, ech poem seeking "resolution" in spiritul trnscendence, poc lyptic vision, totl fusion tht could only be relized in sttic perfec tion of deth. As "Kddish" proceeds, it comes less less to ccept loss of Nomi, more more to yern for union with her in deth or, while life remins, to incorporte her vision s own. poet's "Die / If thou woulds't be with tht which thou dost seek," sys Shelley in lines from "Adonis" tht significntly chose for his epigrph. The poem not only celebrtes deth s delivernce from frightening frustrting seprteness of humn life; it lso identifies Nomi s source of tht vision of deth. In this rich sense Nomi is Allen's inspirtion, his "muse." O muse glorious tht bore me from womb, gve suck first mystic life & me tught tlk music, from whose pined hed I first took Vision Tortured beten in skull?wht md hllucintions of dmned tht drive me out of my own skull to seek Eternity till I find Pece for Thee, O Poetry? for ll humnkind cll on Origin Deth which is mor of universe! ( pp ) In just se few lines, moves chrcteristiclly from celebrtion of his mor s "glorious muse" to thoughts of her suffocting hold on him, so tht in end she is conflted with Deth, t once fered sought. At first sserts tht rel Nomi ws not scr overweight, red, lonely womn locked in room of luntic sylum?but mor of his erliest memories who fed him physiclly spiritully: "gve suck first mystic life & me tught tlk n so com music"?creting intimcy plete tht he seemed to see with her eyes. Yet such union of mor son hs its thretening spect; her vision of things is "pined," her life sug gests to her son tht only wy out of suffering is through kind of immoltion in it? being pined into "Vision." Such destructive-redemp tive re gestures repeted throughout 's poetry, y derive not just from self-punishing msochism, but from need to find ex 101

22 periences extreme enough, pinful enough, to shtter boundries of seprte self. In this pssge modifying phrse "tortured beten in skull" flots free of ny precise referrent, llowing it to refer to both Nomi Allen, joined in in suffering, those moments when y "lose ir hed." Her it suffering, ppers, is his. Yet if such union is hrd to ber, so is seprtion: curious phrse, "bore me from womb," mkes it sound s if he were cst out from her t unwillingly birth. And this kind of resistnce to life of his own is yet nor reson why himself is "tortured beten in skull"?i.e., tortured defeted when locked in skull of privte consciousness. Here, sentence tht s begn n to postrophe Nomi s "glorious muse" which we expect to con tinue s some form of pryer to her breks off to frme question ("Wht md hllucintions," etc.), question tht in turn is never s completed it turns into n gonized helpless cry: wht drives him to be like her, to lose his hed in "md hllucintions" like her own! The nswer is tht both her presence her bsence drive him out of his skull: when ner, she b sorbs him into her vision; but once seprted, he is driven to return, only wy he cn return is shring her vision? fusing with her. Eir route ends in kind of deth for seprte personlity, but Deth itself (now his muse) is ffirmed s relese from frustrting boundries of self, s llowing peceful finl merge with mor. During his mor's seizures dolescent hd tried to brek through to her sserting relistic point of view ("'No wires in room!'?i'm yelling t her"), line of pproch tht ended in rge, frustr tion, hysteri. But closes long utobiogrphicl Prt II of "Kddish" recollecting moment of communiction with Nomi, one tht cme, "mysticlly," just fter her deth. While living in cottge in Berkeley in 1957, hving (he hoped) left fmilil strifes behind him in Est, dremed of his mor's spirit?"tht, thru life, in wht form it stood in tht body, shen or mnic, gone beyond joy? / ner its deth? with eyes?ws my own love in its form, Nomi, my mor on erth still" wrote 'long letter" declring this love "& wrote hymns to md." A few dys lter he received telegrm from his bror, informing him of his mor's deth; two dys fter tht, he got letter from his mor, first he'd hd from her in severl yers? prophecy (seemingly) from beyond grve. The letter wonderfully mixes conventionl m ternl dvice with cryptic visionry utternces: 'The key is in window, is in key t sunlight window? I hve key?get mrried Allen don't tke drugs? key is in brs, in sunlight in window/ 102