DIVINA COMMEDIA. (First five pages) Written by. Harry Granger

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1 DIVINA COMMEDIA (First five pages) Written by Harry Granger

2 The great catastrophe ahead.

3 COLD OPEN EXT. MANSION ESTATE A large, whitewashed manor. The sky above is a deep purple, and the rolling lawns of the property are an almost brown shade of green. The grounds look unkempt. A under a cloak and hood walks up the hedgelined driveway. From behind the door a BILLY JOE SHAVER SONG can be heard blaring. When I Get My Wings. She raises her arm to knock, revealing her skin to be greyish, and both scaly and wrinkly. The door opens from the knock. It was unlatched. Sir? She enters hesitantly. INT. MANSION ESTATE - CONTINUOUS Inside is a mess - clothes thrown about, smashed plates and bottles, a painting has fallen from it s mounting. The Woman walks through the dining room, past the RECORD PLAYER. She turns it down. Sir? The Woman stops at the living room. Stan?! SATAN S large, red body sits slumped in a couch and folded over onto a coffee table. He wears a suit that s all creased and untucked. The Woman rushes over to Satan and tries to stir him. Satan doesn t move. Oh god. Please, no. Stan? A small mound of COCAINE is on the table next to him with a few lines drawn out. The devil has overdosed.

4 2. ACT ONE INT. OFFICE CUBICLE - PRESENT DAY A desk with nothing on it bar an old Macintosh computer. A label stuck wonkily to the computer reads: HELL CO. PROPERTY. (23) enters. Chuck s a stumpy, young goblin with pale blue, scaly skin and a messy cut of hair. He wears a cream short-sleeve button-up work shirt, with a wide tie and slacks to complete his look. He s carefully carrying in one hand a large stack of unopened letters. He tucks them up under his chin. In Chuck s other hand he holds a mug of tea. Chuck shakily moves the chair out and away from the desk with his foot. He sets the mug down. With his now free hand Chuck slides the top envelope out from under his chin. Chuck tears it open with his teeth while almost losing a handle on the letter stack. He skim reads the note inside as he uses his foot to now shakily open the bottom desk draw. Small flames flicker just beyond the rim of the draw. It s a mini fire pit. Chuck tosses the letter in and it s immediately incinerated. Chuck looks at the rest of the letters. It s a lot of letters. He drops the stack into the draw and in an instant they re a small puff of smoke. Chuck pulls his chair in behind him and takes a seat. He pats his hands on the desk, then looks to the clock. 10:15am Chuck sighs and stares into space for a second. He grabs the mug of tea and quickly tips it into the draw. It hisses but the fire doesn t dwindle at all. Chuck slides the mug onto the desk as he jumps up and kicks the draw shut. CUT TO:

5 3. INT. OFFICE CORRIDOR - DAY Goblins and ghouls pass through. Most wear suits, and some carry briefcases, but they re all in a rush. Two older goblins are chatting to the side. One s LEAN and tall, while the other is ROUND and three feet high. They both have white hair, receding at different rates. The Round goblin stands on a chair so to talk face-to-face. With them is a NAKED HUMAN MAN (40 s). A thin chain is wrapped around his neck and held onto by the Lean goblin. Chuck moseys past. Hands in pockets, humming to himself, Chuck s in his own world. LEAN Chuck! Are you busy? Chuck slows down, sheepishly. Ah, I just, I was-- ROUND Come here a minute. Chuck stops. He sneaks a look at the Naked Man s junk. LEAN This man is newly deceased. He was a VP at some insurance company and we thought he might have been able to help out upstairs a bit. ROUND You know, take a look at our management, maybe show us better ways to negate losses-- LEAN But... He s a piece of shit. Can you show him to his allotted level? We have to get back to the board. Chuck is handed the chain. ROUND Thank you, Chuck. Take him now, please. Yeah, yeah. Chuck tugs on the chain and leads the Naked Man down the corridor until they arrive at...

6 4. INT. S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS is a slight woman, late 30 s. Black rimmed glasses mask her face, with frizzy hair tied back into a bun. She d be naturally pretty if it weren t for being some sort of goblin. She squints to read something on her old Macintosh computer. Chuck slumps in her doorway. (waving him in) Oh Chuckers, help me decipher the fuzzy words. Chuck leads the Naked Man in. Tep sits up, alarmed. Who s this? A new one. Where are his clothes? (to Naked Man) Why are you naked, dear? NAKED MAN I died like this. That sucks. Thank goodness. I thought maybe an employee stripped you down, some type of misconduct case. The Naked Man shakes his head. The company couldn t handle another law suit. Speaking of which, Chuck, enough with the leash. Chuck hands the chain to the Naked Man. Sorry. I was told to walk this guy around. And earlier I had to sort through a giant pile of mail. You re doing God s work.

7 5. Tep. I can t keep doing these nothing tasks. It s mind numbing. I know I m not physically cut out for labouring in the torture fields, but I know I d be decent at P.R. Or marketing this place to a younger demographic. Something compelling. Don t fret, french fry. You can take this job as soon as the Good Lord sends down a middle-aged man that likes to check out garage sales, and who s not adverse to wearing an apron around the home. Chuck winces. This man sounds like the worst. I d happily join that pot-bellied silver fox in his eternity of torture. Chuck groans and buries his head in his hands. The Naked Man timidly steps forward. NAKED MAN Excuse me, Ma am. Will I be issued something to wear soon, or is this it for me? (grins) That s it. NAKED MAN Oh... The thing is-- Honey, I d love to talk to ya. But if I don t get this work done then, well, nothing will happen other than me losing my job. (stressed laughter) And it s kinda all I got. The colour runs from the Naked Man s face. CUT TO: EXT. HELL S FOURTH LEVEL - DAY Chuck leads the Naked Man down a rocky path at the foot of a sheer cliff. Large iron doors line the way every few metres.

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