Your Grade: Achievement Achievement with Merit Achievement with Excellence

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1 Class Feedback Letter Interim Assessment for Achievement Standard (External) 2.2 Analyse specified visual or oral text(s), supported by evidence Submitted on 15 April 2016 Student: Your Grade: Achievement Achievement with Merit Achievement with Excellence visual or oral text(s), supported by evidence. visual or oral text(s) convincingly, supported by evidence. visual or oral text(s) perceptively, supported by evidence. Dear 2ELIT, Well done on this. It was a challenging task and you rose to meet it I m pleased and impressed with how you got stuck in at the end of last term, and with what you produced. Expectations You wrote an exam-style essay in response to a question: Analyse how language features in a scene were used to develop one or more ideas in The Dark Knight, choosing from either the fundraiser, hospital, or final scenes of the film, and noting that ideas in the question could refer to characters, settings, or themes. The achievement criteria for this standard are above. You needed to demonstrate that you could analyse how language features such as dialogue, character actions, lighting, camera work, etc were used to develop the audience s understandings of characters, settings, or themes in one of the scenes. The answer needed to be in the form of a written literature essay. I was hoping to see you developing your analysis with comments on the language features effects on the audience and Christopher Nolan s purpose in using them. Reading the essays that you wrote was a pleasant experience for me! Many of you came up with and expressed ideas that I hadn t thought of, or phrased them in ways that I hadn t considered. It was great to see that everything we ve been doing over the last few weeks has been having some effect! For those who didn t achieve this time around, I could still see the effects of your learning, which is all that matters to me at this early stage. It was clear to me that with some more time and a little feedback, you could all have achieved, if not received a higher grade. Evaluation and Evidence: Strengths You guys are doing a lot of stuff really well, both in terms of analysing the film and the way that you re communicating that analysis in a written essay format. You re coming up with strong ideas and then developing them by adding more detail, explanation, and examples. Here are some great ideas that I read, some of these in more than one essay:

2 Batman s dialogue and character actions in the last scene develop the idea of heroism: how Batman took on the blame for Dent s crimes. He was being a hero by becoming a villain in Gotham s eyes. Harvey Dent s character actions as Two-Face show he couldn t get over Rachel s death, which led him to taking revenge and causing hatred and anger. The theme of change, what causes it in our lives and what the consequences are: Harvey Dent s change. Costume shows character development and theme of change: Dent s change from White Knight to corrupted Two-Face represented in costume change. It s in this hospital scene where Harvey Dent truly gives in to corruption. Dent had become corrupted by the Joker, he became Joker s offspring of chaos. In the hospital scene the audience can actually see the similarities between the face of the Joker and Harvey Dent (Two-Face). Harvey s face was similar to the scars marked on the Joker s face. Joker s face is always smiling (due to the scars) and so is Harvey s burnt side of his face, except it seems more malicious than the Joker s. The use of the two-headed coin helps to emphasise the idea that it is human nature to be corrupt. The Joker s character actions of holding the gun to his own head while Dent flips the coin shows how far [he] is willing to go in order to prove his theory we realise that the Joker will do literally anything, even killing himself, to prove that it is human nature to be evil and corrupt. For a Merit you needed to analyse the aspects convincingly, which, according to the standard, means you re providing reasoned and clear interpretations of the aspect/s your analysing. Some of you are developing ideas that would meet this description, such as: 'Throughout the Joker s and Harvey Dent s conversation [in the hospital], the camera would be shooting from a relatively lower angle on the Joker and shooting from a side angle on Dent, only showing the side of his face that hasn t been affected by the flames [good clear description of the techniques] the way the camera only shows Dent s normal/unaffected side of his face, tells me that the Joker, being the agent of chaos, is overtaking Dent s good side and drowning him in corruption. [This idea could become compelling (Excellence) with a bit more explanation, for example by noting that this focus on Dent s clear side is emphasising that this is our last few moments observing the truly uncorrupted Dent. The student is suggesting this in the above analysis, but hasn t yet joined the dots to make it really obvious.] For Merit you also need to have a convincing structure, which in the case of this achievement standard means that the majority of [your] interpretations are connected to each other. For example a convincingly structured essay about the use of language features in the fundraiser scene might have paragraphs about dialogue, camera work, and music, all of them distinct because they re dealing with different language features; but all of the paragraphs might be addressing how these features develop the idea of the Joker s character, which means they re also connected together. Alternatively each paragraph might be addressing a different theme, but they re all discussing how the music helps develop those different themes in this case the language feature is the thing in common between the paragraphs. For Excellence, you needed to analyse the language features perceptively, which according to the standard involves providing insightful and/or original interpretations. Some of you are developing ideas that would almost meet this description, such as: The idea that in the hospital scene the Joker s violin music could also symbolise the Joker s influence over people. Notice the music fades in and out of the scene in accordance with Harvey s reaction. Before the music began, Harvey was writhing around on the hospital bed trying to get the Joker, however, when the music came in as

3 the Joker was talking Dent seemed to calm down for a moment before attacking him once the music stopped and the Joker released him, allowing Harvey to bring himself out of the Joker s clutches [this is a clear detailed explanation of how the language features are used]. The director Nolan wants to illustrate how persuasive and cunning the Joker can be, to get things to go his way. The audience can understand that the Joker is a mastermind of human psychology from the music along with Harvey s actions. Nolan also uses Harvey s little bouts of energy (while Joker was talking to him) [the student is now bringing in some character actions as well, showing how two language features work together to create a combined effect this is helping the analysis to become more powerful] to get the audience to believe that Harvey is trying to break out of Joker s control in the same way as someone would pinch themselves in order to wake up from a bad dream [nice use of an analogy to help develop the analysis]. Harvey is trying to avoid being persuaded by Joker because he was always Gotham s white knight The quick release and stop of the music [the student now links back to the music again to really nail the analysis, join the dots, and make it clear that they haven t just gone off track ] emphasises the strong influence that Joker can have, on even knowing and pure-hearted people. On the high-contrast lighting of Batman and Harvey Dent in the final scene, with Dent half lit and half dark, and Batman almost looks like a shadow himself : This use of lighting manipulates how the audience sees both characters. Bright yellow lighting on Dent symbolises hope and a bright future, while the dark burnt side symbolises an evil and sinister end. The low lighting on Batman makes us compare Batman to the dimly lit side of Dent s face, because both are lit with similar lighting. It makes the audience view Batman as a similar character to Two-Face corrupted. Nolan uses this to help us understand how the public of Gotham sees these two characters: Harvey is their saviour and hero, Batman is a corrupted vigilante. In relation to the idea of heroism, this use of lighting reverses the roles of hero and corrupted. However, since the audience is aware through character actions which character is actually corrupt, it makes us question and critically think about what it is that makes a character a hero. In this case, Batman became the hero because he willingly gave up his public reputation At the moment these analyses are very convincing, and show the potential to be insightful, but they re not quite there yet. The students could develop these into really perceptive ideas by commenting on the significance of the Joker s strong influence and of the reversal of roles between hero and corrupted see Ideas significance in the next section for more on this. You re using some good analytical vocabulary to link language features to ideas, such as: Dialogue showed how much Bruce Wayne or Batman cared This shows how heroism can be seen in the scene Costume in the scene showed a lot about the characters There were also some really nice demonstrations that just because it s an essay, that doesn t mean you can t use imagery and more poetic language features to command attention, such as this comment on Dent and the Joker from a student s conclusion: Dent tried to remain Gotham s white knight but ended up becoming its nightmare instead due to the Joker s sweet poisoned words. Finally, some of you are getting good at integrating quotes into your sentences, like this: Statements such as schemers trying to control their little worlds It s the schemers who did this to you and Introduce a bit of anarchy and the thing about chaos, it s fair. This is much more effective than just dropping the quote in as its own sentence, try and do this every time. (See, I just did it there with that quote!)

4 Evaluation and Evidence: Weaknesses There are some common themes of things you could be doing to strengthen both your analysis and the writing of your essays. Those students who clearly had the audience reaction and director s purpose diagram in the backs of their minds tended to write stronger paragraphs with more detailed and convincing analysis. They may not have used these words exactly, which is fine, but I could tell that they were thinking along those lines. Those students who generally stuck to something like a SEXY or PEA (point, evidence, analysis) paragraph also wrote more convincing and detailed answers. Following are some bigger, broader ideas and recommendations. Beyond audience interest Try to develop your analysis beyond this makes the audience interested, this captures the audience s attention, and this makes the audience feel like something is going to happen. These are OK, but as analysis goes they could go a lot deeper! What does it make us interested in, and why does Nolan want us to be interested in it? Why does Nolan want us to feel like something s about to happen? If in doubt about how to develop an idea, try and link it to a theme. Does Nolan want us to be interested to draw our attention to a theme, for example? For example, in an analysis of the use of the Joker s theme music (violins) in the fundraiser scene, what could we say beyond the idea that Nolan wants us to associate the music with the Joker? How does the quality of the music affect the tone of the scene (i.e. what does it make us think and feel about what s happening)? What does the music make us think about the Joker s character? For example, if it starts playing before he even arrives in the scene, does it foreshadow his presence, increasing the audience s tension and thus making us more scared of him? Why does Nolan want us to be scared of him? Is it so that we ll think about how we deal with and experience chaos and anarchy in our own lives? Ideas significance To get into convincing and perceptive territory (Merit and Excellence) one of the things you can do is comment on the significance of your ideas. In the case of this literature essay, developing your ideas by adding comments on why something is important for the film, and thus perhaps the themes, and thus perhaps the audience/the world, can really make your ideas insightful. For example, a student writing about the hospital scene began to do this in a final body paragraph: I believe this scene is important because it is the point where corruption truly kicks in: Harvey Dent, who is supposed to be the white knight and the symbol of hope, has become corrupt. This also reinforces the fact that the Joker can truly get under everyone s skin. The student is developing their analysis by pointing out why this scene is important in the narrative. However, they could develop it even further to really become reasoned, and perhaps perceptive, by, for example: Explaining a little more about why it s so important to the film that Dent is corrupted this the Joker s ace in the hole, the moment that eventually truly means the Joker almost wins the battle for Gotham s soul, and the reason Batman has to end up going beyond heroism and become a villain in Gotham s eyes.

5 Explaining how this in turn is important for the film s themes, whether that s good versus evil, the nature of justice, heroism whatever it is that you re interested in and discussing in the essay. Then going beyond the text and commenting on how Nolan wants us to relate the theme you re discussing to our own lives. For example, if you were interested in the idea of good versus evil, does this scene truly make us think about how easy we ourselves might be corrupted? Does that scare us? You can see how, if the paragraph dug deep into commenting on the significance of the ideas, it would come out very developed, and demonstrating some truly insightful analysis. Structure In order to be structuring your writing properly you need to follow conventions of a traditional written essay: introduction, body paragraphs with one main idea/point being developed per paragraph, and a conclusion. It s really important that your ideas are clearly organised so that the reader can follow and understand easily, and so that you know you re analysing each idea in depth without getting distracted and moving onto other ideas. For example some of you wrote paragraphs that touched on several different ideas (e.g. in a paragraph about the hospital scene: some ideas about Joker s dialogue, the symbolism of Harvey s disfigured face, and the character actions of the mob in other scenes from the film, without developing any of those in great depth). The last thing you should do in your introduction is list your key points, i.e. describe briefly what each of your paragraphs is going to be about. Then, make sure that these are the ideas you discuss! For example, if your introduction says you re going to discuss lighting, costume, and music, make sure you discuss those three things. If you end up writing a paragraph about character actions as well, go back to the introduction and add character actions as one of the main points. For example this paragraph starts with a great idea (people aren t who they say they are) and ends with a great idea (whether different people s lives have different values, and whether this is corrupt), but these ideas aren t linked together in the paragraph: The dialogue in the hospital scene makes the audience think that maybe people aren t who they say they are. If I told them that I was going to blow up a bus of soldiers tomorrow they would be fine because they would have a plan, but if I say that one little mayor is going to die then everyone loses their minds!. As he says this I can t help but think why? Is Harvey s life really more important than multiple people? This to me seems corrupt. Specific evidence You need to give specific evidence. It s in the name of the standard: Analyse specified aspect(s) of studied visual or oral text(s), supported by evidence. If you re talking about dialogue, you need to quote it. If you re talking about character actions or costume, you need to describe those in at least a little bit of detail, eg: Harvey s actions of kidnapping Gordon s family and threating to kill his son or Batman s imposing black armour. Conclusion Well done again for tackling a difficult task and doing well! All of the above feedback can be applied to lots of other work we ll be doing and skills we ll be practicing this year, so keep coming back to it. Mr Moffat-Wood.