投稿類別 : 英文寫作類. A Call for Hope in Grief and Loss: An Analysis of A Monster Calls on the Basis of The Five Stages of Grief and Loss

Transcription

1 投稿類別 : 英文寫作類 A Call for Hope in Grief and Loss: An Analysis of A Monster Calls on the Basis of The Five Stages of Grief and Loss 林佳言詹聿忞熊容秸 作者 : 國立新竹女子高級中學國立新竹女子高級中學國立新竹女子高級中學 二年一班二年一班二年一班 指導老師 : 王昭慧老師

2 I. Introduction 1. Motivation and Purpose When we first read the novel A Monster Calls (Ness, 2011), we were deeply fascinated by its vivid descriptions of the inner conflicts suffered by the protagonist Conor, and the lively depiction of the fictional yet inspiring character the monster. At the same time, we were filled with curiosity, wondering how people with a seriously-ill family member manage to deal with their own sorrow as their family gradually becomes sicker. To answer this question, we did research and learned about the theory of Kübler-Ross: The Five Stages of Grief and Loss (Kübler-Ross, 1997). The theory explores the five stages of grief experienced by those who are facing their own terminal illness. We tried to apply the theory to Conor, a teenager who has a dying mom, and the attempt revealed that the theory is not only applicable to those who are sick, but also to those who are close to the sick. In addition to proving that families would undergo the same stages of grief which patients would experience, we also hope that the thesis would offer help to people who are suffering from the same situation as the one Conor is faced with. We believe that when people close to a sick family member are informed of the emotional reactions they re going to have, they are likely to go through the difficult times more easily. 2. Method We propose that the theory of grief applies to people who are facing the death of a valuable being. And the proposal is verified by means of relating relevant examples from the novel to Kübler- Ross theory. 3.Limitation Due to the fact that the examples merely come from the protagonist of A Monster Calls, there might be some restrictions in this thesis. Firstly, the thesis exclusively focuses on the parent (Conor s mother)-child (Conor) relationship. Other types of relationship are not included. Secondly, the thesis takes Conor as an instance, a thirteen-year-old boy who is oppressive and demands a lot of himself. People with different personalities or of different ages might react differently. Owing to the limitations above, the conclusion of the thesis may not be suitable for every case. 1

3 II. Thesis 1. Introduction 1.1 The novel: A Monster Calls A Monster Calls is a story about how a thirteen-year-old boy, under the assistance of a monster, tries to overcome the sorrow brought by his mother s serious illness and the subsequent coming death. Conor, a boy whose mother is suffering from cancer, is long under the stress of her illness. To make matters worse, he has a nasty grandma and a father who divorced his mother. Conor is exhausted, angry, worried, and he hates others sympathy and deliberate ignorance. One day, in the middle of the night, a monster appears from a yew tree in his house yard. It shouts, tries to scare him, and tells him that it comes for him. However, Conor isn t afraid of it at all, because the monster is not the one he is meeting in his recurring nightmare, not the one he starts dreaming about after his mother s treatment, not the one which always comes with darkness, wind, screaming and falling. The monster comes again and again at seven past midnight, and it says it will get something from Conor after its three wild stories. The first story is about the end of an evil queen and a prince who kills his lover for the good of the kingdom. The monster says that it saves the queen since she s not the murderer. The second story is about a man who lives on belief, but sacrifices it when his daughters are sick. He then pays the ultimate price for discarding his belief. The monster tells Conor that belief is half of all healing and that the monster itself comes for the cure of someone but not his mother. The last story is about an invisible man who calls a monster in order to let himself be seen; yet, the monster says that there are worse things than being invisible. At first, Conor thinks all of these stories are cheats, but soon he finds that each story the monster tells is somehow related to the events in his real life: the wicked queen to his disagreeable grandmother, the selfish parson to his absent and distant father, the invisible man to Conor himself. At last, Conor s mother would inevitably die. And the monster eventually asks for Conor s own story. It wants the most dangerous and terrifying story that Conor doesn t dare to face. It wants the truth the truth that is deep in Conor s mind. The truth is hidden in Conor s nightmare that appears every night, in which he finally lets his mother go. The truth is that a part of Conor wishes all the suffering caused by his mother s illness will just end, and the end of the suffering means he has to lose his mother. Conor can t accept the fact that he should bear this idea in mind. He feels guilty and angry about himself, and that s why he keeps punishing himself by letting his classmates bully him. However, the monster tells him that what truly matters is what he does instead of what he thinks. 24

4 Conor then plucks up courage to tell his mother the truth and finally, though it s difficult, lets her go The theory: The Five Stages of Grief and Loss The Five Stages of Grief and Loss, or the Kübler-Ross model, is a theory proposed by Kübler-Ross and is widely-used to describe terminally-ill people s mental experiences. As a psychiatrist, by observing patients behaviors and analyzing their emotions, Kübler found there was something in common with regard to the mentality among terminally-ill people. In her book On Death and Dying (Kübler-Ross, 1997), Ross divided these mental experiences into five phases: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. The chart below is an adapted version of the timeline of the theory, indicating what patients would go through when they are facing their own death. However, according to Kübler-Ross, it should be noted that the progression of stages is not always serial or predictable, and it might be different from person to person. Diagram1: Our adapted version of the diagram Stages of dying (Kübler-Ross, 265) 2.1 First Stage: Denial and Isolation Denial and Isolation On Death and Dying mentions that people who first learn of the news of their own serious illness will go through the First stage: Denial and Isolation. Denial and isolation are important defense mechanisms which allow patients to hold on to hope before they truly accept the cruel truth. In other words, this stage is a cushion that can help comfort patients and keep their lives going on. 3

5 4 This stage not only appears when patients first realize their illness, but also keeps influencing the patients in their whole life with sickness, especially when they are suffering mentally. According to the book, the symptoms of this stage include intense denial, resistance and isolation, and distance from environment or even distance from patients themselves. Patients will first try to confirm the accuracy of the diagnosis again and again with doctors or hospitals, and then they will refuse to accept the fact that they are ill even though deep in their heart, they have already believed the news of their sickness or the coming death. Patients denial is one of the three causes of their keeping distant from others; another cause is the physical limitations they are suffering, and the other cause of isolation is the sympathy and strange looks from others. Denial and isolation effectively help patients defend themselves temporarily. And then some people will transfer denial to partial acceptance. From the point of view of Kübler-Ross, only very few people will keep denying the imminent death until the end of their lives. This to say, most patients can gradually let go of the denial, accept the coming death, and treasure the remaining days of their lives Plots Related to the First Stage In the novel A Monster Calls, there are some plots related to this stage. At the beginning of the novel, the protagonist Conor reveals his strong denial when he refuses to admit that his mother will die in the near future. His denial is evident in his refusing to let his grandmother come to their house to take care of him. He doesn t welcome his grandmother not only because he believes her to be disagreeable, but also because he is certain that he and his mother s life are fine and that they don t need any help since his mother will recover soon. Another example of Conor s denial appears at the end of the story. Conor has always believed the yew tree monster comes for the cure of his mother, so when the treatment made from yew trees doesn t work, he rejects to trust his mother and the monster anymore. As for isolation, it is evident when Conor declines the help from his teacher, his grandmother, and the monster. He refuses to talk openly with those who try to make him face the heartbreaking reality. For example, when Conor s father tries to explain why his mother has him come, Conor chooses not to listen. Additionally, while his teacher tells him she is always willing to listen to him, he just conceals his true feelings and pretends everything is alright. In doing so, he indirectly isolates himself from others. Also, the pity and sympathy from his classmates further widen the gap between Conor and these people. To sum up, we can see that the symptoms of Denial and Isolation not only appear on patients 4

6 with serious illness, but also on those who are close to patients like Conor. 2.2 Second Stage: Anger Anger The second stage is about patients anger. When patients can t deceive themselves in the first stage anymore, they will then move on to this stage. The second stage is an intense rebound of the shocking news of the sick s illness. It is common among all patients and it could appear anytime and anywhere. In this stage, patients will fall into negative sentiments such as rage, envy and resentment. They will keep asking themselves why me? and venting their emotion on people around them. There are mainly two causes of their anger. At the early stage of their sickness, their unpleasant feeling may result from the sense of unfairness, which comes from their fear and anxiety of the coming death. It is the sudden loss of their control of life that brings about patients anger. The other cause of their anger is the patients unwillingness to be ignored, which is a distress signal in the end of the sickness. They are crying from the heart to the whole society: we know we are dying, but we are still here. Although negative emotions will keep affecting patients until they are dead, there are still ways to help them. With the support and understanding from surroundings, the sick can progressively calm down, go back to the stable status and accept the reality more easily. There are some relations between Stage One and Stage Two. Denial leads to isolation, and then isolation causes neglect, which will finally result in strong anger. Also, only when the patients can t hide themselves in denial anymore will they move on to the second stage Plots Related to the Second Stage Conor s anger manifests itself throughout the novel. Conor shows his great anger to Lillian, who used to be his friend, when she tries to help him in the way he doesn t like. His words It s all your fault (Ness, 28) reflects that he blames Lily for what she has done; what s more, he blames Lily because he needs to work off his anger on somebody. Conor s anger is also seen when the yew tree monster tells the second story, which is about a snobbish apothecary and a selfish parson. After the story, Conor expresses his fury by destroying all the precious furniture in his grandmother s house. Conor s anger is shown again when the last treatment doesn t work. At that time, Conor 5

7 shouts to his mother and the monster. He is not willing to accept the truth that his mother is going to die. Conor s anger in the previous examples mainly comes from the sense of unfairness he suffers. Conor s anger is also resulted from his unwillingness to be ignored, which is revealed when the monster tells him the last story. The monster s last story of an invisible man reminds Conor of the provocative words from the bully in his class, which makes Conor explode with anger. He therefore beats the bully, Harry, and hurts him seriously. He is so outrageous that he puts Harry in the hospital. Due to the incident, everyone in school seems to be afraid of him and stays away from him, which makes Conor feel even lonelier than before. Nonetheless, the note from his friend, Lily, reminds him that there is still somebody standing behind him and caring about him. It is obvious that Conor conveys his anger just like patients do; and he is comforted after his anger is acknowledged by Lily s gesture of friendship. Therefore, we can prove that the theory of the second stage is applicable not only to patients, but also to those who are close to patients. 2.3 Third Stage: Bargaining Bargaining The third stage is a period when patients show their strong will to extend their lifetime most evidently. When the patients feel more seen and cared, and are more willing to accept their illness, it is time for them to get out of the stage of Anger, and to enter this stage. People are used to bargaining, especially when they are young. In childhood, people learn that if they bargain well, it is highly possible for them to get what they want. So when patients don t t know what to do with their sickness, they turn to bargaining. They believe that by behaving well, which is seen as a way of bargaining with fate, their health could be restored. Patients bargaining behaviors might include arranging their daily timetable by themselves, trying to interfere with doctor s orders, and praying to God. During this stage, patients try every means to struggle against the cruel reality. They have already overcome the feelings of denial and isolation, and have accepted the truth of being ill, but they are still searching for a silver lining in the cloud and fighting hard for their lives. Only when patients totally acknowledge the fact that bargaining might not be helpful will they go on to the next stage. However, not all patients can survive this stage. Some of them would fall back to the second stage and let their emotions take them over again Plots Related to the Third Stage 6

8 At the beginning of A Monster Calls, Conor behaves himself as well as possible: he takes over all the household chores, he takes care of himself and his mother, and he never cries or does anything which may put pressure on his mother; instead, he tries his best to help her while she is fighting her illness. Conor is somehow constraining himself to be a good child a child who is good enough to make his mother cured. He persuades himself that if he does everything well, his mother will get over the serious illness. He thinks that it is he that makes his mother dying even though none of other characters in the story has ever thought so. To sum up, Conor is trying to bargain with fate to save his mother s life. He links his behavior with his mother s sickness, and he convinces himself that there is a connection between the two. This again proves that people close to patients would undergo stages of grief just as patients themselves. 2.4 Fourth Stage: Depression Depression After experiencing the previous three stages, patients no longer deny the truth, and they are not angry about uncontrollable things anymore; they also stop bargaining with close people, gods, or fate. Instead, patients start to get mentally prepared for the impending and eternal loss. This is what Kübler-Ross calls the Fourth Stage: Depression. According to Kübler-Ross, there are two kinds of depression: reactive depression and preparatory depression. Reactive depression appears when patients encounter problems in life which are resulted from the disease, such as being unable to make money anymore. This kind of depression can be alleviated by discussions with doctors, social workers, families or friends. Preparatory depression, on the other hand, is the grief terminally-ill patients have to face alone in order to prepare themselves for the coming death. For this kind of depression, the encouragement and comfort from people around is not helpful. Patients need to adjust their mindset on their own. What family and friends can do is offer silent company. To sum up, the former depression can be solved or improved, while the latter one can only be dealt with by patients themselves. After all, when it comes to facing death, we are all alone Plots Related to the Fourth Stage: Depression 7

9 Conor shows his reactive depression when he finds that he can t live with his mother since she is too ill to take good care of him. He is forced to move to his grandmother s place. Conor is depressed since he dislikes his grandmother. During the time when they live together, there have been a lot of tension and disputes between them. The tension lasts quite a long time until both of them come to realize the fact that they share some things in common that they both love Conor s mother and that they both suffer a lot from her illness. On the way to meet Conor s mother for the last time, the grandmother tells Conor, We re going to have to learn. (Ness, 218) By saying this, grandmother not only sympathizes with Conor s grief but also admits her own loss and her willingness to face the hardship with Conor afterwards. What grandmother says comforts Conor and alleviates his reactive depression. As for preparatory depression, it appears as early as the moment when Conor learns of his mother s coming death. In the bottom of Conor s heart there have been two conflicting emotions: on the one hand, he hopes his mother can survive; on the other hand, he secretly wishes that his mother dies and her death would bring an end to all this chaos and his suffering. The conflicting emotions, as well as his guilt of having the second emotion, make it even harder for him to be prepared for his mother s death. The monster plays a crucial role in helping Conor get over this depression. By telling Conor three stories, which force him to face the reality, and by asking Conor to give the fourth story, which allows him to admit that he wishes her mother s death could end all the suffering, the monster successfully gets Conor mentally prepared for his mother s death and lessens his preparatory depression. The analysis and observation above again support our assumption that the patients close friends and families may undergo the same depression as the patients themselves do. 2.5 Fifth Stage: Acceptance Acceptance It is after patients have gone through all those former stages with others help that they will enter this stage: Acceptance. Acceptance is the last stage of the whole theory, which means the coming of relief and the ending of torment for patients. In this stage, patients are ready to face and accept what is going to happen to them. Unlike patients in the stage of Denial, who are angry and agitated, patients in the final stage manage to calm down, and they have finally stopped struggling either with the harsh reality outside or with their own inner world. All the suffering and plight is over, and it is just like the final rest of the long journey (Kübler-Ross, 124) for patients. 8

10 What patients want the most in this stage is other people s silent company. Patients would cut down on social activities, and their interest in things usually diminishes. They are in no mood for anything and don t want to be disturbed by others. They spend most of their time taking a rest, mourning for things they re going to lose, and pondering the impending death. These seriously sick people have totally embraced their sickness and the coming death, so the last thing they want to do is to seize the opportunity to get along with their friends and families Plots Related to the Fifth Stage At the end of A Monsters calls, Conor finally speaks the truth out. The truth is that he wishes everything to end, even if the end means his mother s death. He is so guilty about having this thought that he wants himself to be punished. However, the monster, or the healer, gently tells him that it is not his fault, and that what he thinks and does are all understandable. After that, Conor s anger, regret, depression and all the bad moods have gone. He enters this last stage of acceptance. Conor eventually accepts the reality of his mother s death while embracing her and giving an account of all his grief, guilt and fear of loss. He is no longer struggling, denying or trying to bargain. The only thing he wants to do is to stay in his mother s arms and accompany his mother in the last few minutes of her lifetime. stage. The evidences above show that those who are close to patients would also undergo the fifth 2.6 Hope Hope Stephen Hawking once said, While there s life, there is hope. No matter who we are, we are all immortal and fragile. Hope is the only thing that can help and accompany us when we are going through difficult times in life. Therefore, it is understandable that the one thing that usually persists through all these stages is hope. (Kübler-Ross, 148) According to Kübler-Ross, whether patients are pessimistic or optimistic, realistic or impractical, a ray of hope is always there, nourishing and sustaining patients through plights Plots Related to Hope In A Monster Calls, the monster represents and symbolizes hope. It exists throughout the story. At first, it appears to be a rescuer, coming to save Conor s mother s life. When Conor s 9

11 mother doesn t get better after taking a new medicine made from yew trees, Conor feels that he has been cheated by the monster, which is the incarnation of the yew tree. However, the monster responds, I did not come to heal her... I came to heal you. (Ness, 193)This is when readers come to realize that monster is the embodiment of hope for Conor, instead of for his mom. The monster is called by Conor s deepest desire the desire to know how to deal with his own internal conflicts and his mother s coming death. The monster s company and enlightenment open Conor s heart. By telling Conor that If you speak the truth...you will be able to face whatever comes, (Ness, 222) the monster helps Conor to accept the cruel reality more bravely. III. Conclusion As human beings, we can t avoid facing sickness and death. As a result, how to adjust ourselves in the face of illness or death becomes an essential lesson. The Five Stages of Grief and Loss has long been a theory which helps terminally-ill people go through difficult times in life more easily by informing them of the emotions they re going to undergo. Besides facing our own illness and death, dealing with our families diseases or demise is also inevitable in almost everyone s life. The process of coping with the coming death of a close family could be as hard as dealing with one s own decease, which is clearly exemplified in A Monster Calls. A Monster Calls is a fine novel detailing how the protagonist Conor feels when he is confronted with his mother s fatal illness. We have analyzed Conor s emotions on the basis of the theory of The Five Stages of Grief and Loss, and we have confirmed our assumption that Kübler-Ross s theory is also applicable to those who are close to terminally-ill patients. We hope that by proving the theory s applicability to patients family or friends, the thesis can be a comfort for those struggling to face the death of beloved ones. IV. References 1. Axelrod, Julie. The 5 Stages of Greif & Loss. Psych Central. Retrieved March 20, 2017, from 2. Kellehear, Allan. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and the Five Stages of Grief. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation. Retrieved March 20, 2017, from 3. Kübler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York: Scribner. 4. Ness, P. (2013). A monster calls. Massachusetts: Candlewick. 10