Auditions for Alice in Wonderland, Jr. May 22, 5:30 PM To prepare for the auditions.

Transcription

1 Auditions for Alice in Wonderland, Jr. May 22, 5:30 PM To prepare for the auditions. Memorize a monologue for a character of your choice. Monologues are attached. Memorize and be prepared to sing the opener to Alice in Wonderland with accompaniment. Printed music and MP3 files of vocals and accompaniment are attached. Please fill out and bring the attached Registration & Conflict Form. Be sure to check your calendars for conflicts and include them on the form. Mathilda (Alice sneaks up on Mathilda. She raises the magnifying glass and makes huge, funny faces behind her sister s back.) And during the American Revolution, King George the Third, or Old Mad George, as some have she called him and he was so angry at General George Washington, that he made all his own royal soldiers dress in bright red uniforms that (Alice sneaks up behind Mathilda with a huge magnifying glass peeking over Mathilda s shoulder) and of course these bright red uniforms made them look just like giant walking lobsters that went (Looking up into ALICE s huge face) EEEkkk!!!! (taking the magnifying glass away from ALICE) Alice, honestly, when are you ever going to grow up? (Alice says she is a lion and ROARS) You re just a silly little girl pretending to be a lion. Remember what the Immortal Bard said: To thine own self are true. Oh, let me find that book and I ll show you (MATHILDA searches for The Complete Works of Shakespeare while ALICE gets comfy on the grass.) Columbus discovered the New World. What are you going to discover except more trouble, just like you always do. Well, Miss Columbus, just remember to look before you leap, so you don t get hurt searching for your little wonderland Now, getting back to Mad King George, wait, let me find the page

2 Alice Should I or shouldn t I? You know what they say: If you don t explore, you ll never discover. But my sister Mathilda always says, Look before you leap. Well, I m looking and it looks pretty deep and dark and I can t see the bottom and maybe it goes all the way to the center of the earth and I ll be burnt to a crisp in the molten core like the bad marshmallow we ve all heard so much about! (pause) Or not. (Pause) Ok, I looked. Now it s time to leap! (Alice is too tall to fit in the door to chase the White Rabbit into Wonderland. A bottle with note that says Drink Me floats by) Remember, Alice: Look before you leap. I really don t know what s in this bottle, but it looks so pretty. But it could be poison, or mayonnaise, or floor polish, or a frothy combination of all three! But I have to find the White Rabbit. Oh well, if you don t explore, you ll never discover. Bottom s up! (Alice drinks and shrinks but forgot to get the key and now can t reach it) Now I m too small to reach the key! Oh no, no, no. (starts to cry. Sees a cookie jar labeled Eat Me ) Well, it looks delicious. But how do I know what s in it? Don t be silly, Alice what harm can one cookie do? (Take a bite and starts to grow) Now I m too big! I ll never fit in Wonderland now. I want to see the White Rabbit. (Alice cries and cries and cries and fills the room with an ocean of tears!) What should I do? (She takes another drink from the bottle and shrinks then swims into the ocean of tears doing the backstroke through the keyhole all the way to Wonderland) Yech, I m all wet! Anybody got a towel? A blow dryer? An extra pinafore?

3 White Rabbit (Alice: How do you do, my name is ) Mary Anne, Mary Anne, hurry, I can t find my gloves Mary Anne, Ginger, Gilligan, I don t care what your name is, don t argue with me, you re making my later that I already am. Hurry, hurry my gloves, somewhere in my house, I m late!! (Alice goes inside his house) Help help there s a monster in my house! And I m late! Help there s a very little girl in my house. And I m still late! I m late! Help me! Help me! Just hurry please I m- Attention, attention, inhabitants and subjects and all other direct or indirect objects of Wonderland: fall to your knees and tremble before her majestic majesty, her royal regality, yes, folks, your favorite monarch of mean and mine, The One, the Only, Queen of Hearts!!! Doorknob (Alice tugs on the Doorknob which yelps in pain.) Yeeooowwwww! Leggo my schnazzola already! Who taught you to go around pulling on people s proboscises essess ss. Doorknobs have feelings too and you are far too big to enter Wonderland. (Alice starts to cry) Don t cry, please don t cry. Maybe if you drank some of the magic potion in that convenient, floating-nearby bottle, you might fit in. ----I believe someone forgot about the key waaaaay up there on that shelf. Please try to suppress your emotional outbursts. Have a cookie. Sorry kid, you ll never fit in Wonderland now. Try Pittsburgh. (Alice cries and fills the room with tears) Hurry, take another drink from the bottle. It s our only hope! DoDO Bird Stroke, you hard-shelled crustaceans! Stroke or I ll boil some butter and eat you for brunch! (seeing the wet Alice) My dear young damsel, the only way to get yourself dry in Wonderland is to initiate an officaially sanctioned Caucus Race! Alice sees the White Rabbit and runs after it!) But my dear, come back you re a natural! And you forgot your Gold Medal Flour winner s cookie! Rock Lobsters only sing

4 Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum Oh, How do you do! I m Tweedle Dee. (nom, I m Tweedle Dee.: No I m Tweedle Dee. You re Tweedle Dum. (Oh, am I? I m sorry) What a coincidence! So is she! Are we related?! Well, ther s no need to attack us! We ve only just met. Meeting and running ain t very polite. Don t you have no couth? There s a right way and a wrong way to do things? Flowers - Rose, Petunia, Lily, Voilet, Daisy Up, down big, small I never seem to fit iiiiiin. Eeuuuuuuuuu! (laugh with major attitude. Alice tells them how pretty they are) We know! Right. That s right. Everybody loves us because we re the girls of the golden afternoon. That s the name of our very exclusive garden club. Right? Totally affirmative. If you want to be cool, y Beat it slug, before you wind up on the bottom of somebody s shoe. Look girls, I think she has bugs! Eeeeeuuuuu!ou have to be one of us! No one gets in unless we say. And we don t let in just anyone. Mm, mm, mm! You can t be just like us. Keep dreaming, crabgrass! You re just a silly little uncool weed. What s that? You say you re a little girl! Eeeeuuuuuu! Whatever! You re way too uncool to become a Girl of the Golden Afternoon. Alice you are three inches tall! Caterpillar Oh, don t let those dried out little annuals get you down, kids. Sweetie pie, lambchop, honeydew they re just gonna wind up sitting around in somebody s imitation cut glass vase for three days til they wither and die, then it s thanks a lot and out with the garbage! But enough about them. Whooooo, pray tell, are youuuuuuuuuu! --- I am whoever you want me to be, if I, in fact, am indeed whoever I say I am or someday hope to be. You dig> I m the Caterpillar, kiddo, your wonder of wonders, your miracle of miracles, your happy, happy day! -- Alice, the caterpillar s gonna share two magical, hyphenated little words with you, guaranteed to make even your very worst day simply absolutely fabulous! Ready? Repeat after me: Zip a dee- doo-dah-- You ve been holding out of me Hit it!

5 Cheshire Cat Alice is about to discover that wonderland is nothing like she expected. It s a land filled with racing lobsters, dancing flowers, painting cards, and even a Cheshire Cat, that s me! Alice meets a pallid, longeared, carrot munching quadruped known only as The White Rabbit! Oh, he s always late. Yo White Rabbit you re on! Alice followed the White Rabbit to the edge of the rabbit hole. Alice jumped into the dark rabbit hole and fell for what seemed like three and a half weeks. More like four and a quarter. She fell and fell and fell but she wasn t alone! Finally, Alice landed right in front of a little door. (Alice sees a bottle floating by that says drink me. She drinks from the bottle and instantly shrinks in size) With one gulp of that drink Alice shrinks to three inches short! (Cat stands up on chair, holding up a key Alice starts to cry because she is too short to reach the key. Cat reveals a big cookie jar labeled eat me. Alice takes a bite and starts to grow) Alice grew so big with just one tiny bite that she filled the entire room. (Alice cries because now she is too bi9g to fit in Wonderland) Alice cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried until the room was filled with an ocean of tears! (Cat runs the bottle over to Alice and she drinks it down) Alice shrank back down and swam into the ocean of tears doing the backstroke through the keyhole swimming all the way to Wonderland!

6 Mad Hatter It s not a birthday party, it s an unbirthday party. Well, you only have one birthday each year, but you have 364 unbirthdays! We don t play by the rules rules can be so limiting. With no rules, you don t know if you re playing the game right and that s just part of the game, I guess. (Looking at the White Rabbit) Did you say you were late? Well, your watch is slow, silly. Here, let me fix it for you. Scalpel! Forceps! Axel Grease! Peanut butter! - Hurry, we re losing him!! Bring me the liverwurst! (Live a mad scientist) Live, live, I command you to liiiive!!!!! (flatline sound) Ooops. You might want to get a new watch. I know I broke it. Wasn t it fun? Let s do it again!!! March Hare It s not a birthday party, it s an unbirthday party. It s so much more fun to make up your own rules. (repeating the Mad Hatter) Scalpel! Forceps! Axel Grease! Peanut butter! Hurry, we re losing him!! The liverwurst!! Royal Cardsmen Hubbub, hubbub, hubbub! (gasping) Alice!? (Gasping) Her way home?!? And there was much rejoicing. Yea! The Queen want to play Simon Says! And the crowd gasped!

7 Queen of Hearts Silence! We speak the Queen s English here, you nameless little whelp! You are not Alice. Everyone knows Alice doesn t live here anymore! Find Your way home??? Youl ll find my way home or we ll cut off your head! You ll be who I say you are and no one else, do you understand? Nothing makes sense here and don t you forget it. Now, before you go anywhere, you ll have to beat me in Wonderland s favorite pastime. --- My dear young girl, croquet is so nineteenth-century. I want to play Simon Says! Now stand up! Oh, I didn t say Simon Says!!!! Off with their heads!!!! I see you ve played this game before. You say you love Simon Says! But does Simon love you, I wonder? Simon Says stand up. Time for the Lightning Round! Simon says, hold one foot behind your back and wave your arms and sing at the top of your lungs. Oh, I loathe that song! Stop singing, before my ears explode: (Holds her head in pain) My anvils, my stirrups!! (Bellowing) Did you hear me? I said stop that singing! Royal Cardsmen, drag her away!!! A trial? Well, all right, but make it fast. I want to see her head rolling around like a bowling ball. (weeping like a distraught witness) She beat me, do you hear, she confesses, she beat me, beat me. (suddenly happy again) Hurry, get to the good part where we cut off her head!!!! King of Hearts I m afraid the match goes to Alice! -- Wait my dearest, why don t we have a trial. Just this once, you know, shake things up a bit. (like a seasoned trial lawyer)the prisoner is charged with enticing her majesty, the Que3wen of Hearts, into a game of Simon Sys, and thereby willfully and with Alice of forethought, didst put a bee in her royal bonnet and cause our beloved Queen to lose her royal temper! Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, can you please introduce yourselves to the court? And can you tell the court her name?... Just tell us her name. Nom, her name!.. Oh, well, never mind then. Now did you observe any incredibly suspicious behavior on the part of the incredibly guilty party? Now Mad Hatter, what have you to add to the already rock solid evidence against the soon-to-be-decapitated usurper? And just where were you, March Hare, when this horrible crime was committed?

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