Writing Trait: Ideas & Word Choice ~ adding details with similes

Transcription

1 Writing Trait: Ideas & Word Choice ~ adding details with similes Learning Intention: adding details to engage the reader Carol Walters S.D. #71 Before Reading Learning Outcomes: A2, A3, A4,A9, B5, Have students turn and talk about the cover picture on this book. What do they see. Explain that good writers notice what others miss. Have them study the picture for minute details that others may miss. Turn the book over and have students repeat these descriptions based on the back cover illustration. Having done this, have students predict what this book might be about. By Amy Timberlake Next, have students brainstorm cowboy vocabulary (clothing, gear, food, environment etc). As words are offered, ask students to draw little pictures on chart paper to illustrate items like chaps, lasso, spurs, holster etc. Many children will not be familiar with these words, so leveling the playing field prior to reading can increase comprehension. During Reading Learning Outcomes: B6, B11 After reading the last sentence on page one, pause and ask why the author may have included information about the specifics of the cowboy s morning routine? Ask if bacon, beans, potatoes and the song Streets of Laredo are likely to play a big part in the story. We want students to understand how important details are in any piece of writing. But we want them to figure this out for themselves, so don t tell them. Lead them towards this discovery! As the story is read, play a spot the similes game. Ask students to give you a signal (e.g. finger on nose or thumbs up) whenever they hear a simile. Ask them what they know about similes. Listen for responses indicating that they understand it is a comparison of two completely different things, but linked using the words like or as. You may want to pause reading and give students a chance to savour and discuss each simile. After Reading Learning Outcomes: B7, B11, C6 Share photocopied sections from the book that contain similes. A list is on the next page. Have students search for the similes within the text. Once found have students write down the two items being compared and the way in which both connect. e.g. And the cowboy s stench stuck to passersby like mud splashed up from a wagon wheel. cowboy s stench wagon wheel mud Both items, a cowboy s stench and wagon wheel mud, will stick to a person.

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4 Once students are aware that the secret lies in the details, ask how writers add details? Reread a page from Dirty Cowboy, then ask once again, how did author Amy Timberlake add details? Hopefully students will hear the cowboy-specific vocabulary that the author uses. This is particularly strong in Dirty Cowboy. Perhaps the use of similes will be mentioned. If not, share one of the similes listed below and have a conversation about the details within it and how the writer combined those words. There are wonderfully, descriptive similes used in Dirty Cowboy. Share one or two of the following examples. Photocopy pages for students or project using a document camera like the Luna or an Elmo and have them find the following similes: And the cowboy s stench stuck to passersby like mud splashed up from a wagon wheel. The dog opened one eye, sniffed at the air, and followed his friend s warm, familiar smell as though he was following a trail of T-bone steaks. Then yelling wwhoooowheeeeee! the cowboy ran naked as a newborn pack rat straight into the water. When the river ran clear and his skin puckered up like a prickly pear, the cowboy declared his bath done. Where was that sweaty, wild boar-like smell that clung to the cowboy like a second pair of clothes? That s about as funny as a kick in the behind with a sharp-toed boot, the cowboy mumbled to himself. First, the stitching started to give, then the buttons popped, and then thread on thread gave way with a ripping sound like creaking before thunder. Why, it almost looked like a smudgy rainbow. The cowboy s breath smelled like black pepper and cow jerky! The cacti burst into bloom like firecrackers, and suddenly the landscape was dotted with color and ribboned with water. The story goes that the cowboy walked home bare as a shorn sheep from the river to his tin-roofed shack. He wore his boots and his hat, but otherwise he was naked as a nickel. Continue to add to your list of cowboy vocabulary and have students write their own cowboy similes. The tumbleweed rolled across the desert like a bowling ball making a be-line for the centre pin.

5 Ask students to turn and talk about writing similes and what trait of writing this specific skill might fall under (word choice ~ see rubric on next page) Word Choice Co-create criteria about writing similes on the black rubric that follows. simple word choices; some words have mistakes no poetic words some interesting word choices; mostly risk-free an attempt at poetry interesting word choices sprinkled throughout precise word choices that allow the reader to visualize poetry that adds interest clever use of poetry

6 The Traits of Writing a start coming along that s it Wow! Word Choice

7 Grade 5 Story Writing Performance Standards And Writing Traits My story has: A Start Getting There That s It Wow! Meaning Ideas a series of loosely connected events that do not make sense main idea and problem are unclear very few details a series of loosely connected events that make sense basic main idea and problem are not too original, not too clear a few details a logical sequence of events main idea, problem and solution are clear and parts are original details and descriptions develop characters and plot a creative and logical sequence of events an interesting twist that is part of the main idea, problem or solution vivid details show rather than tell about characters and plot Style Word Choice simple word choices; some words have mistakes no poetic words some interesting word choices; mostly risk-free an attempt at poetry interesting word choices sprinkled throughout poetry that adds interest precise word choices that allow the reader to visualize clever use of poetry Sentence Fluency short, simple sentences with run-ons and/or fragments many sentences that begin the same way mostly short, simple sentences and a few longer ones many sentences that begin in different ways a mixture of short, medium and long sentences that create flow sentence beginnings that are different and interesting smooth flow because sentences are of different lengths and types a variety of clever sentence beginnings that fit perfectly Voice no personality no evidence of care for topic no thought for the reader characters are named, but not described dialogue (if used) is boring and/or confusing a glimmer of personality some evidence of care for topic thought for the reader at times characters are named and described a little unnatural or basic dialogue clear personality evidence that show care for topic carefully chosen words and events to engage the reader characters are well developed on the inside and outside dialogue moves plot along or reveals the personality of characters personality that shines evidence that shows passion for topic a clear understanding of what readers crave characters have individuality and are vividly described dialogue reveals character personality and moves plot along Form Organization beginning middle end no lead; reader wonders what this is about a series of loosely related events no ending basic sentence connections (e.g. and, then, so) has a basic lead that hints at the story to follow related events that wander in parts a weak ending that may not make sense a small variety of connections; some are over used has an interesting lead that establishes the plot events that develop logically a believable ending that attempts to tie up the story Smooth connecting words a lead that readers love and will lure them into the plot events that weave together beautifully an ending that satisfies; it may have a surprise twist artful connecting words Conventions Conventions frequent errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation make story hard to understand minimal use of paragraphs some errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation; reader can figure out meaning evidence that show understanding of paragraphs errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation, but only in the complex parts; meaning is clear clear use of paragraphs the occasional error in spelling and punctuation, but only in the complex parts; meaning is clear paragraphs in all the right places