Proverbs 31 : Mark 9 : Sermon

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1 Proverbs 31 : Mark 9 : Sermon That text from Proverbs contains all sorts of dangers for the unsuspecting Preacher. Any passage which starts off with a rhetorical question about how difficult it is to find a good wife is always going to be a bit dangerous, especially for a male of the species like myself. For the description which the writer gives of what a good wife should do is likely to send women either cowering under their seats with a sense of inadequacy or reaching for their hymn books to throw in anger at the sheer male arrogance of it all. Well our hymn books are rather heavy so I don t want to take any risks. I looked up some commentaries on the text written by women, just to keep myself safe, and came across some very good comments by Professor Amy Oden from Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington. What interests her is what this text doesn't say. First, she points out, it does not say that a wife's worth is derived from her husband's. Later versions of Christianity might carry that sort of idea, and it is still prevelant in our culture, but here it is clear that her value comes from what she does, her own actions and choices. Secondly she says that the passage doesn't include anything about pregnancy or childbirth. These were often seen as the only indication that a woman was valuable in the ancient world, and they still are in our own world in many places. Thirdly, and perhaps most significantly for our context and our assumptions, it doesn't say anything about a woman's appearance or physical attractiveness. There is nothing about weight, or shape, nothing about make-up or make over. Has she achieved "younger-looking skin?" Does she look good on the dance floor? Could she wear a bikini with pride? We'll never know, because, despite the obsessions of our time and our culture none of that is considered worth mentioning.

2 So what we have is a way of assessing the value of a women, which comes from a very ancient source, and which seriously questions and challenges much of what has come to be accept as normal. Here we have a picture of a model female who is not a female model. Rather it is a description of a woman who works, trades, invests, farms, A woman who has strong arms rather than beautiful arms. Here we have the perfect woman described as one who is confident and dignified, so much so that she laughs rather than trembles at what might lie ahead. She is wise and she teaches, and even those closest to her recognise that she is capable and trustworthy and happy. Of course that is an impossible task for anyone to match up to. But it is no more impossible than the current goals which are presented to girls of becoming like photoshoped images of improbably thin women with apparently blemish free skin. If we are going to give girls something to aim for, if we are going to give woman something to value in themselves, if we are going to give men something to appreciate: I suggest that this passage offers a picture which is full and rounded and healthier and more positive than many of the alternatives. The message is summed up in these memorable words: Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (verse 30) In the end, what is praisworthy about a woman is something which lies in her heart and in her lifestyle. Charm is deceitful. Switzerland was once famous for its finishing schools, or charm schools as they were known. This is where young ladies would come to have their education completed by learning the rights ways to behave, the correct ways to address people, all the proper etiquette for different occasions. It was recognised that they will get on better if they can learn how to be charming. And why not, it is better to be charming than offensive. But the word charm also carries a sense of something artificial, a sort of act which is being put on to gain influence and manipulate people. So we might talk about a politician turning on the charm when meeting the voters, or a Hollywood actor smiling and saying all the right things at an awards

3 ceremony. We know this is not the real person that we are presented with. We recognise a charm offensive when we see it, but we still tend to be impressed by the impression we get. So it is useful to be reminded that it is not real, that what we see in a charming person is not necessarily what we get. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain. The word "beauty" occurs often in the scriptures, where it is used of men as well as woman. One example is that is Absalom: "But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty; from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him" (2 Sam. 14:25). Yet we are told that about him before we go on to read the story of his life. That turns out to be a tale of political plotting and lies which involved sleeping with many of his father s concubines, then spending two years plotting a murderous revenge on the man who raped his sister, before he dies a gruesome death when his beautiful hair gets caught in a tree while he is fleeing from an enemy on horseback. These Old Testament stories are not for the faint hearted! But of course the warning is that outward beauty is not necessarily an indication of inner beauty. We recognise beauty when we see it, and we do tend to be impressed and attracted. So it is useful to be reminded that when we see a beautiful looking person that is no indication of what lies beneath the surface. It is useful to be reminded for this is a truth which you are not likely to be told by our modern beauty industry. 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. There is nothing wrong with beauty or with charm. There is no reason to be ashamed of having either. As long as we remember that human beings are not just made up of our outward appearance, or the impression we like to give to others. As long as we remember that in the end, what is praisworthy about any of us is something which lies in our heart and in our Lifestyle. The real measure of a woman is just the same as it is for any other kind of human person; it is to do with inner attitude rather than outward attractiveness.

4 The key to everything else is the fear of the Lord, that sense of humility before God, the recognition that the world doesn't revolve around us, and a healthy dose of respect for the one who gifted us with life and who will, in the end, judge our lives. So this is not just about women it is an invitation to all of us to reassess what is important to us, and how we regard one another, and where our priorities lie. Which is I think what Jesus was inviting the group of men whom we know as the disciples to do. They argued, as men tend to do, not about who was the most beautiful but about which was the greatest. And so Jesus turns their assumptions upside down, telling them that a young child is more worthy than any of them, and that the greatest thing a person can ever aspire to is to welcome a child. So again we are reminded that the qualities which we admire in others and the qualities which we seek for ourselves, may be very low down on list of the human qualities which ought to be desirable. Beauty and charm are not what we should be impressed by, and neither is Status. Beauty and charm are not the goals we should be aiming for, and neither is status. Jesus message to the men seems entirely in line with the more ancient wisdom offered about women. The point is that while we are all drawn to things as they appear on the surface, it is that which lies within us which is really the important. That applies when we are assessing people: when we are judging their value or how much we should trust them. And perhaps more importantly, it applies to how we assess ourselves. If we want to get on the world, if we want to win friends and influence people, then it will certainly help if we can be charming and attractive and powerful. But in the end these will not be the qualities which really matter, for they are only surface things, and it is the deeper qualities of our lives which will really make the difference. We can seek beauty and charm by all means. But first and foremost what we should seek to develop is the fear of the Lord, that sense of humility before God, the recognition that the world doesn't revolve around us, and a healthy dose of respect for the one who gifted us with life, and who will, in the end, judge our lives.

5 This morning we are all invited to reassess what is important to us, how we regard one another, and where our priorities lie. This morning we are all invited to drop so much is the silliness which tends to dominate our attention, and draw near with awe and reverence, to the God who cares nothing about surface appearance, and who cares immensely about what lies hidden within.