Social Studies The King of Mirth LÞÊ > ÀiÊ > i Ê ÕÃÌÀ>Ìi`ÊLÞÊ Õ> iê- Ì

Transcription

1 The King of Mirth

2 The King of Mirth by Claire Daniel illustrated by Duane Smith Copyright by Harcourt, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Requests for permission to make copies of any part of the work should be addressed to School Permissions and Copyrights, Harcourt, Inc., 6277 Sea Harbor Drive, Orlando, Florida Fax: HARCOURT and the Harcourt Logo are trademarks of Harcourt, Inc., registered in the United States of America and/or other jurisdictions. Printed in the United States of America ISBN 10: ISBN 13: Ordering Options ISBN 10: (Grade 6 Advanced Collection) ISBN 13: (Grade 6 Advanced Collection) ISBN 10: (package of 5) ISBN 13: (package of 5) If you have received these materials as examination copies free of charge, Harcourt School Publishers retains title to the materials and they may not be resold. Resale of examination copies is strictly prohibited and is illegal. Possession of this publication in print format does not entitle users to convert this publication, or any portion of it, into electronic format

3 Do you know what the dinosaur said to the chicken? Tony asked. The young children who were gathered around him looked bashful. They remained silent as stones. Oh, come on, take a guess! he pleaded. What did the dinosaur say? one little girl finally said. You look like dinner to me! Tony said and then laughed. The three children simply stared at Tony and then began filtering back to other parts of the playground. Did I say something wrong? Tony asked Alicia, his sister, who had seen the whole incident. I know that I m a year younger than you, Alicia said, but I think I can answer your question. Alicia stared at her older brother s costume. Tony s hair was covered with a black wig, and he wore a curly mustache, an oversized black suit, and black tie. 3

4 What? Tony asked, when Alicia stopped speaking. Do you really want to become a comedian? Alicia asked. You know that I do, Tony answered, but I can t even make a group of second graders laugh! I stink worse than a skunk convention. You re not that bad, she said, but I could give you some pointers that is, if you ll listen to me. I m listening, with all twelve ears, Tony said. You don t have twelve ears, she said. HA, HA, HA, Tony said, I meant twelve years! That s rule number one, Alicia instructed, no laughing at your own jokes, even if they are good. That last one was not. Why not? asked Tony, who was clearly puzzled. If the joke is funny, other people will laugh. Alicia said. No one wants to laugh at a joke because you think it s funny. 4

5 All right, Tony said, that s rule number one. What s rule number two? Do I have to wear a dress and a green wig to make people laugh? Alicia said patiently, You have to start with the basics. The first thing you have to do is get your own material. How do you know all this stuff? Tony asked his sister. I looked on the Internet and found a great article about how to become a comedian, Alicia said. What else did it say? Tony asked. Don t worry about it, Alicia said. Let s just take one step at a time. The first thing for you to do is write some new material! Think of a theme or a story, and then use it to tell several jokes. What kind of theme do you mean? Tony asked. Just use your imagination, Alicia replied. Choose something ordinary like dogs or baseball, or even something as common as the watch you wear on your wrist or how to tell time. Think up something that anyone can relate to. 5

6 Tony went to work on what Alicia had said. The next day, Tony asked Alicia to listen to his new routine. He said, This new routine is going to make you laugh hysterically. Alicia sat in a chair in the den. She listened patiently as Tony said, Do you know the difference between a ship captain and a jeweler? The ship captain watches the sea, and the jeweler sees the watch. Speaking of watches, do you know why the guy got rid of his watchdog? It was because he couldn t tell time. A day before, this same guy threw his alarm clock out the window just so that he could see time fly. Tony waited for a reaction from Alicia, but she just sat there without the slightest trace of a smile on her face. If anything, she looked vaguely annoyed. Well, I got new material and wrote it around a theme, but you aren t laughing. 6

7 Those are the worst jokes I ve ever heard in my life, Alicia said incredulously. Did you really make those up? Crestfallen, Tony admitted, I did what you did and discovered a whole bunch of jokes on the Internet. I found these jokes about a watch and a dog and telling time. You did suggest doing a theme. Alicia kept her calm and said, Real comedians don t steal another comedian s jokes. You make them up! You mean out of my head? Tony asked. Your brain is the best place to find new ideas, Alicia said. Look, Tony lamented, the last time I tried to think of a joke on my own, the ideas ricocheted inside my skull like a ball gone wild inside a squash court! What s a squash court? Alicia asked. It s an enclosed court where you play a game kind of like tennis with racquets and a small rubber ball, Tony replied. 7

8 Oh, never mind, Tony added, I m never going to be a comedian. I was no good at soccer, I m a disaster at playing any kind of sport except checkers, and I can t spell very well. Let s face it. I m the King of Failure. No, you re not, Alicia insisted. You re my older brother, and I m determined you will be successful. By the time I get through with you, you ll be the King of Mirth, and everyone will laugh at your jokes. You are pretty funny when you re not trying so hard. For example, what you just said about your brain being like a squash court with balls banging around inside your skull that s funny stuff. Tony groaned, and Alicia added, What you need to do is make jokes about things you feel strongly about just tell stories about your own life and the people you know. Like how I fell off a bike ten times before I got the hang of it? Tony said. 8

9 You could use something like that, said Alicia. Think of all the comedians that you love. They all make jokes about people they know and their foibles. Other people love that. Okay, okay, Tony said with more enthusiasm in his voice. There s no lack of material in my life! I ve got more material than a dress factory! Then get at it and write, big brother, Alicia said. Write every day until you have enough material. Tony sat at his desk and searched in the drawer for a clean, empty spiral notebook. He opened it to the first page, sharpened his pencil, and began thinking. Then he grabbed a book of photographs of his family, including his cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents. Before long, he was writing furiously. 9

10 A few days later, Tony had a routine ready to present to his sister. He had memorized the jokes, and he told his stories. Alicia listened and wore a slight smile on her face. Not bad, big brother, not bad, she said. You re not exactly the King of Mirth, but you will be. Now what I want you to do is pretend that you are an actor, and ham it up. Pretend that you are on a stage in front of hundreds of people that love you. Tony began again and spoke more confidently. Afterwards, his sister smiled broadly and said, You re ready for the big test. You re going to perform in front of the family after my birthday dinner on Sunday. Tony s whole family was coming for Alicia s birthday dinner aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. You think I m ready for that? he asked. 10

11 Alicia said, The real question is, are they ready for you? On Sunday, Tony s mother was holding a tray of fresh fruit, and she said, This is perishable, so eat up. Uncle Bernie said, Anna, you have already incapacitated me with that delicious dinner. I can t eat one more bite. Fruit is good for you, she said encouragingly. Suddenly, Alicia entered the den and said, I d like to present Tony Carrerra, the King of Mirth! The family clapped politely because they had heard Tony s jokes before. Tony cleared his throat and said, I ve decided to become a comedian because I m not good at much else. I tried being a soccer player, and I would have been quite good if I could have kept my head in the game instead of my hands. Tony looked at his family. They were all smiling, and his Aunt Loretta let out a chuckle. 11

12 I m a terrible student at school, too, Tony continued with more confidence. I brought home a report card the other day, and I was happy because it was so bad. Why were you happy? called out Alicia. Because at least Mom and Dad knew it was mine, Tony said, winking at his parents. Tony s dad let out a loud guffaw, and other family members laughed, too. Tony said, I tried to figure out why I have such a hard time doing things successfully, and I figured out that it was my family s fault. Everyone laughed loudly. He continued, Take Uncle Bernie over there. Everyone knows that he makes delicious pickles in his store. People are always asking him for the recipe and thank him profusely when he shares it with them. It s no big dill, he responds. Uncle Bernie let out a loud hoot and said that he would have to remember that one. Everyone else in the room laughed out loud, too. 12

13 Of course, my sister over there is nearly perfect, Tony said. Did you know that she s rich, too, and she s always been that way? When she was a baby and cried in the crib, my mother started giving her money to be quiet and it worked. Good one, Tony s mother said as she bit into some fruit. Everyone knew how Alicia saved her money. I was desperate to become a good speller. I tried everything. I wrote my spelling words over and over, and I spelled them in the shower. I even sang them out loud until the neighbors complained. Then, one day, I actually swallowed a dictionary, Tony said. How did it taste? Uncle Bernie asked. Educational, Tony said. My sister, Alicia, asked me, Did it help? Did it help? I didn t say a thing she wasn t going to get a word out of me! 13

14 Tony continued his routine for a good five minutes, and when he finished, everyone clapped enthusiastically. His Uncle Bernie shook his hand and said, That was hysterical! Son, I believe that you have a real gift for comedy. Tony felt ecstatic that everyone loved his routine, and he looked over at Alicia to express his appreciation. She picked up a piece of pineapple off the tray and brought it over to Tony and handed it to him. You did good, big brother, she said. Why, you have really become the King of Mirth. Tony took the pineapple and said appreciatively, Well, you are the Queen of Sisters. 14

15