Peter's Over-50 Writing Workshop Today, December 18

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1 Peter's Over-50 Writing Workshop Today, December 18 Dec 18 12:50 PM 12:55 PM John, hi Hi Peter. 1:00 PM HI Hey, Chris, welcome There's Barry. Hi! Hello all. Hello, Greg Hi, HI all Thanks for joining us today. Hope everyone is getting into the holiday spirit. Good morning all Welcome,. Thanks...same to you! Yes, time is flying by. Good turnout, let's get started Hi Here's my agenda...schedule for the next few weeks...a bit more on mood & tone... drama/scene... "revealing the I"... and then the new Bellamy exercise. Anything you'd like to add? Hello, everyone! Hi, Kressel, we're just getting started. So the next 2 Tuesdays are holidays - Christmas and New Years Day - so no chats. Our next chat after today will be on Jan. 8. The current exercise (Bellamy), we will wrap up before the holidays... 1:05 PM So it's due on Friday. Your critiques are due on Sunday. And my critiques will be a day early, on Monday, 12/24. Sounds complete The Week 4 exercise, yuou Whoops... Week 4 - I will post on Friday. But it won't be due until Jan. 11. So you'll have a nice 2-week break. We will discuss the Week 4 ex. during our chat on Jan. 8. And then it will be due the following Friday, Jan. 11. Sound okay? Excellent Yes That's clear YEs Peter, I am working on trying to adhere to the example of the story examples you provide. I missed the mark during lesson 2. Also, Mood and tone. Cool

2 Great. Good. So yes, let's talk more about mood and tone. Remember, these are Writers Studio definitions. Sort of the way a philosopher may take an everyday word and give it a special meaning. So mood in WS-ese is a bit different in meaning from it's everyday use. Mood here means the main emotion. So in a given scene, what is the main character feeling? We say mood rises from the material, because the character is feeling an emotion in response to what's going on in the scene. For example... If your first-person narrator walks into a room, only to find a man in the room pointing a gun at them, they would probably feel surprised, even shocked, and then maybe afraid. 1:10 PM Manikya So the mood would be shocked and afraid. One important thing to remember: it's the character's reaction that makes the story/poem/memoir much more than the triggering event. So in my silly example, if your PN is James Bond, he's not surprised or afraid. He expects to see guns, and he's confident in his ability to overcome the shooter. Again, just a silly example. But the point is, given a set situation, every character will react in their own unique way. And the reader is paying a lot of attention to that reaction. That's why mood is so important. You want the reader to feel some of that mood, too. That's why scene is so important... the whole idea of showing, not telling. We'll discuss that more in a moment. To clarify, the mood in this scenario is confidence? Tone, by contrast, is the way your narrator tells it. Which may or may not be the same as the mood. And is very often quite different. What would be the mood in the James Bond example? ' Yes, James Bond feels confident, bold. He's aware that he's in danger, so he's highly alert, every nerve tingling. shaken not stirred. 1:15 PM I dunno. I think about tone first and foremost and let mood happen by itself. But I understand that we're supposed to be going for contrast. I can't plan that hard in advance. Exactly! Now, your James Bond may be different than mine. That's fine. The point is, ask yourself, given what's happening in the scene, what is my character feeling and thinking? It's good to think of them together, if possible. Because some moods almost cry out for a contrasting tone. A lot of this happens in drafts. You don't get everything working at once. That's the illusion created by a finished piece. So expect lots of trial and error. But you have to know which questions to ask! The one and only contrast I can get is to be funny or at least light-hearted around serious subjects. And one question is, what's the mood? ANd the other - given that mood, what's the most effective tone? Kressel - here's another example - understatement used to discuss a very emotional issue. Yes, I can get that one, too. Remember the old poem, "Richard Cirey put a bullet through his head? That's understatement. Corey, sorry That's the last line of the poem, too. Edward Arlington Robinson. 1:20 PM Edwin, sorry. My typing is going haywire. View paste Richard Corey is also a surprise ending. Everything you've been told about him till then is very different. OK, so that leads to a discussion of scene. This relates to one of the common issues I saw this week. The Aciman excerpt is one long scene, and it gets increasingly dramatic as it goes. That's powerful. By contrast, I saw a lot of back-story, skipping around from scene to scene, etc. Now, all of that is fine, but it's not what Aciman is doing. So let's discuss staying in the scene as a way to develop the mood. Remember, too, that with a first-person PN, it's all about the I. IF not, you might either switch narrators (that is, make another character the first-person PN), or consider third-person. The point of first-person is to tell the I's story. Even if they're talking about other people and things, it's all through their eyes and consciousness. So in the Aciman, we see the scene through the boy's eyes. And as the scene moves through time, the father learns more, and gets angrier. The boy, in turn, gets into deeper and deeper trouble. That's a dramatic scene. So really stay with it, even if it gets uncomfortable. Maybe especially if it gets uncomfortable! 1:25 PM Drama is conflict. Drama is things being different. Drama is trouble and uncertainty. Even dialog should be dramatic. Don't have characters saying the expected thing. That's not dramatic. Surprise us.

3 Think about the series of surprises in the Aciman. In the scene, it's the father who receives these unpleasant surprises. But the readers is experiencing them, too, almost along with the father. And we see the boy squirming, and we start feeling the mood. No need to say the father is angry. You show him yelling and calling the governess an idiot. Readers know what that means. Perhaps I'm jumping ahead, but are we necessarily going for conflict in the upcoming exercise? If I'm a fly on the wall describing what I see, not necessarily is it going to be conflict. The tone of the Aciman is crucial too. The understatement makes it dramatic. If he explained too much, we would take the boy's side and think the father was being mean. 1:30 PM Manikya Kressel, you are not a fly on the wall. Even journalists, who often are, go for the drama. They don't say, "Nothing happened in Washington today, it was a nice peaceful day." Well, to put it another way, I like to write about spirituality. To me that's positive and not about conflict. Must it always be about loss and dark things? Stories are based on drama. Someone wants something they can't get. Someone has lost something that was valuable to them. Etc. No, of course, you can write about love and peace and god. But for this type of creative writing, it has to be done dramatically. If you want to write an essay, perhaps drama is less necessary, but even there, it helps. I think that there is a great deal of drama in spirituality. Our relationship with a higher being creates doubt. Yes? Think about Romeo and Juliet, a play about all-sacrificing love. It starts with a feud between 2 families. That's drama. Even Jesus had doubts. Yes, the teacher in the last class spoke about that, too. Absolutely. What could be more dramatic than the story of Jesus' life? I'm not Christian. I'm writing about the Jewish Sabbath. And that's all about a day of peace. The story of Jesus is filled with conflict. Even with his own disciples. "Father, pass this cup from me" prior to his death. I'm viewing these as exercises to write about things I may not necessarily choose to write about, but trying to imitate, really, an author's style, including mood, tone, and scene. Then I'll go back and utilize elements that seem helpful in allowing me to write about a subject I like. Okay, but think about Genesis. God creates everything from chaos. That wasn't easy. He had to rest! That's how we get the sabbath, right? 1:35 PM But, Greg, does it really come naturally to you to go to the conflict every single time? Doesn't it feel like dwelling too much on the negative? Lots of conflict with Moses too. I don't mean to be light-hearted about religion. But you have to admit, the Bible is FILLED with conflict of all kinds. Cain and Abel, Noah and the flood, on and on. No, conflict isn't my natural choice, but this helps me to understand different ways to approach the subjects I'm most drawn towards. Look, to be really specific, I am thinking about writing the next exercise from the point of a Rebbe's Shabbos table. I'm not imitating Biblical stories. This is great. I am starting to understand more about conflict and drama. Conflict is at the heart of drama. Now, with drama, you can explore anything you want. Ecology. War and peace. Spirituality. Love. There should be no limit. But stories involve conflict and drama. OK, so let's turn to the Bellamy exercise. Isn't there a lot of drama there? Even though there's really no scene, no action, just a narrator's voice? A very unhappy narrator. The very first line is a challenge, a rebuttal - "I just cannot bloom endlessly, you know " In other words, someone (the you being addressed) seems to think the speaker CAN bloom endlessly. So must our narrator be unhappy? That's what I want to know. Because my Shabbos table likes its job. And the narrator is here to tell them that they are incorrect. A narrator can be a happy person. But if you want them in a dramatic situation, there has to be some drama. My wife is a happy person. But that doesn't mean she goes through life without facing obstacles. She has challenges at work, with her family, friends. At those moments, she's not happy. But they get resolved, or not, and then she reverts to her normal happy state. Does that help? 1:40 PM Yes. Some days the obstacle is me. Back to religion - didn't the Buddha say everyone suffers? They get sick, they get old, they face death. So in a story, you play up the drama until you get to the resolution/happy ending. But because we only do two pages, it's all drama and no resolution. Think about all your favorite movies, plays, novels, poems. There's drama there, and that involves conflict of some kind. It may be internal -- a person wrestles with their own ambitions, for ex. Or it may be external - a partisan in World War II fighting the Nazis. Or a mix of both.

4 Kressel, yes, we're not going for resolution here. We're mainly trying to get some sparks flying, given a set mood, tone and narrative technique. Look, all I want to know is if the object/narrator must be as bitter about its situation as the Black Eyed Susan. Because I really don't like to indulge that kind of negativity. Once you have the sparks flying, you can work on the piece on your own. Just keep doing on page 3 what you did on pages 1 and 2. I know it's easier said than done, but a good beginning is huge. I'm becoming more content to not have resolution in my exercises, they're just excerpts like the examples. That gives me more space to focus on just a few elements, incomplete essentially, but trying to leave the reader (you all) with a sense of where it's going to go. Greg, well said, thanks. Kressel, if you want a different mood, that's fine. Use your preamble to tell us what you think the new mood is. That will help us determine whether you've hit your own mark. I think that the excerpt leads to a direction to make the reader curious about the resolution. Do I have that correct? 1:45 PM John - yes, if it's good, you want to find out what happens! Now, in the case of a poem, it's all there. The Bellamy poem doesn't really resolve things. She's frustrated, and it's not immediately clear how she'll get satisfaction. Phil Schultz, director of the WS, once told us that there's a big difference between writing and therapy... In therapy, you have an emotional problem, and the therapist helps you resolve it, and feel better... I think the satisfaction lies in the line about being dormant and knowing that she will blossom again, but needs some help. whereas in writing, you have an emotional situation, and you just write about it. That may help you feel better, or it may not. That isn't the goal. As a writer, you use your emotion almost like fuel for an engine. I'll bet a whole lot of people here got into writing because it made them feel better to write through their emotions. So the Bellamy narrator, as I mentioned, can be seen as a clever tone for complaining. WHereas, if Bellamy wrote a nasty poem about all the real people she knows who annoy her, I'm not sure I would care to read it. Kressel, I know I am on the right track if I fell any emotion, even sadness. But as a flower, the narrator is charming. 1:50 PM So mood and tone, once again. When a flower complains about the "con job" of the bees, we smile. In real life, not so much. So this is alchemy, making gold from dross. A delightful poem from irritation and bother. I'm sure there are other things going you can notice. Such as repetition of certain lines, such as "This summer was all about..." There's also what we call "direct address." That is a first-person PN directly addressing a you. In this case, the reader. For ex: "People, I'm on my own here." And of course, there are a LOT of I's. Almost on every line. So again, first-person narrator is all about the I. Everyone else is secondary. I feel this..i need that..i'm disgusted by them...i will do this... 1:55 PM So a lot going on this little poem. Questions, comments about the Bellamy? Or anything else we've discussed today? I have a question that is probably off point, but here it is. Thinking about first person PNs and how they reveal themselves. But how about the Great Gatsby? THe first person narrator (Nick?) doesn't reveal much about himself. Is that just a different type of first person narrator? Good one. The discussion was very helpful. I missed the mark on the last exercise. I feel more confident that I understand how to approach assignment. Thanks I would say Nick DOES reveal himself. Go back and re-read. How about what he notices? What he makes of the other charcters? HOw about that long funny list of all the people who show up at Gatsby's parties? No. Challenging exercise. Thanks for the detail in the explanation. But isn't Gatsby the main character who is revealed primarily? We see everything through Nick's eyes. Even the green light at the end of the pier. Or is Nick the main character? Gatsby, in my reading, remains a mystery. Whereas Nick, I understand. I do recommend going back and re-reading the opening first pages of Gatsby. This time, with a "reading as a writer" lens. I think you'll be surprised. Okay, thanks. OK, so again...submit your Bellamy exercises this Friday. That day, also get your new Week 4 exercise. Then critiques by SUnday. And look for my critiques on Monday. And then have a great holiday season. 2:00 PM Good discussion everyone, thanks!

5 You too. Thank you very much and happy holidays to all! Awesome. Thanks to all. Thank you, all. Good discussion, good topics, good questions. Thank you Excellent informative chat. Thank you! See you in 2 weeks