Narration. packet. FoundationsStudy

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1 Narration Online Resources packet FoundationsStudy

2 America s Choice is a subsidiary of the National Center on Education and the Economy (NCEE), a Washington, DC-based non-profit organization and a leader in standards-based reform. In the late 1990s, NCEE launched the America s Choice School Design, a comprehensive, standards-based, school-improvement program that serves students through partnerships with states, school districts, and schools nationwide. In addition to the school design, America s Choice provides instructional systems in literacy, mathematics, and school leadership. Consulting services are available to help school leaders build strategies for raising student performance on a large scale by America s Choice All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system without permission from the America s Choice permissions department. America s Choice and the America s Choice logo are registered trademarks of America s Choice. Every effort has been made to contact the copyright holders for permission to reprint borrowed material where necessary. We regret any oversights that may have occurred and would be happy to rectify them in future printings. First posting, ISBN products@americaschoice.org

3 Contents Narration Pre-Assessment Writing a Narrative Scoring Guide Lesson materials Lesson 1: Setting Up a Writer s Notebook Lesson 2: My Name Excerpt Lesson 3: The Jacket Lesson 4: Summarizing a Plot Lesson 5: The Jacket Excerpt I Lesson 6: The Book of Memory, Book Thirteen Excerpt Lesson 7: The Jacket Excerpt II She Remembers: Auster Mimic Example Lesson 8: Thank You, M am Lesson 9: The Jacket Excerpt III My Dog Skip Excerpt Analyzing Setting: My Dog Skip Teacher Ideas for Show, Not Tell Exercises Memorable Place Guidelines for Modeling Feedback Lesson 10: The Writer s Toolkit: What to Do When You Think You Are Done Features of a Good Story Lesson 11: Plot Structure Plot Structure (completed) Lesson 12: Reflection on a Quotation Lesson 14: Plot Structure: Checklist Lesson 15: Rubric for a Narrative Rubric for a Narrative (completed) Miss Sadie Assessing a Narrative Using the Class Rubric Lesson 17: Strategies for Great Leads (completed) Lesson 18: Strategies for Magnified Moments (completed)

4 Contents Narration Lesson 19: Sentence Patterns for Cumulative Sentences Distinguishing Parts of Cumulative Sentences Lesson 20: Sentence Patterns for Verb Clusters Distinguishing Verb Clusters Lesson 22: All Summer in a Day Excerpt Placement of Dialogue in a Narrative Lesson 23: Strategies for Great Endings Strategies for Great Endings (completed) Lesson 24: What to Do When Revising Lesson 26: Statement by Gary Soto about Revision Response Group Planner Response Group Planner Notes Lesson 27: What to Do When Editing Post-Assessment Writing a Narrative Scoring Guide Additional MATERIALS Publishing and Celebrating Post-Unit Reflection

5 Pre-Assessment 1/1 Writing a Narrative Directions Read the following prompt carefully. As you read, make notes about your initial responses. Use these notes to write an effective narrative. Autobiographical Narrative for a Teen Magazine Audience. A teen magazine is looking for young adults to submit engaging autobiographical narratives that will attract new readers to the magazine. Purpose. Editors are asking teenagers to imagine they are writing an autobiography about their lives, with stories that other teens would find fascinating and compelling. Each chapter will involve one story one experience that is a must for your book. This month s topic for a chapter is called: An Unforgettable Moment. Task. Write a narrative about one of your own unforgettable moments. Editors are looking for certain qualities in your story and the stories they will publish. Your moment should: Be of special interest to teens Provide interesting details; for example, the setting, the people, the situation that led to the unforgettable moment Communicate the importance of the moment and why it is a must for your book Use your own unique voice

6 Pre-Assessment 1/1 Scoring Guide Narrative Student s Name: Student ID: Read each of the statements below, and circle the number on the scale that most accurately reflects your assessment of the narrative. 4 = strong 3 = moderately strong 2 = somewhat weak 1 = weak 1. Lead engages the reader and establishes a situation A strong voice is evident Setting creates a believable world and casts a mood Characters are well developed Plot has logical arrangement of ideas and is skillfully paced; transitions move the plot forward. 6. Details evidence a range of strategies: description, figurative language, dialogue, and precise word choice Conclusion is satisfying, with implicit or explicit significance Sentences are varied with a variety of beginnings, structures, and lengths Narrative is composed with audience and purpose in mind Standard English conventions are controlled. Surface errors do not impede understanding. English language learners may integrate native language expressions effectively Additional comments:

7 Lesson 1 What Is Writers Workshop? 1/1 Setting Up a Writer s Notebook Step 1: At the center top of the very first page, write the title Table of Contents. Date Table of Contents Page # I. Writing Explorations 1 II. Sentence Explorations III. Glossary of Narrative # Writing 20 pages from the end Last page of the notebook Step 2: To the left of the title, write Date. Step 3: To the right of the title, write Page #. Step 4: On the first line below the title, list the sections and corresponding page numbers: Writing Explorations, Sentence Explorations, and Glossary of Narrative Writing. i Step 5: Step 6: Step 7: Step 8: Step 9: Draw a line under the last listed section (the glossary), and place a Roman numeral i in the lower-right corner. Continue numbering pages, front and back, using Roman numerals. Stop with page vi. Place numbers for the back of the pages in the lower-left corner. On the seventh page, create a title page for Writing Explorations, and place a number 1 in the lower right corner. Continue numbering pages, front and back. About 20 pages from the end of the notebook, create a section titled Sentence Explorations. On the very last page, create a section titled Glossary of Narrative Writing. For this section, you will work backward from this page.

8 Lesson 2 How Do Writers Discover Ideas to Write About? 1/2 My Name Excerpt by Sandra Cisneros 1 In English my name means hope. In Spanish it means too many letters. It means sadness, it means waiting. It is like the number nine. A muddy color. It is the Mexican records my father plays on Sunday mornings when he is shaving, songs like sobbing. 2 It was my great-grandmother s name and now it is mine. She was a horse woman too, born like me in the Chinese year of the horse which is supposed to be bad luck if you re born female but I think this is a Chinese lie because the Chinese, like the Mexicans, don t like their women strong. 3 My great-grandmother. I would ve liked to have known her, a wild horse of a woman, so wild she wouldn t marry. Until my great-grandfather threw a sack over her head and carried her off. Just like that, as if she were a fancy chandelier. That s the way he did it. 4 And the story goes she never forgave him. She looked out the window her whole life, the way so many women sit their sadness on an elbow. I wonder if she made the best with what she got or was she sorry because she couldn t be all the things she wanted to be. Esperanza. I have inherited her name, but I don t want to inherit her place by the window. 5 At school they say my name funny as if the syllables were made out of tin and hurt the roof of your mouth. But in Spanish my name is made out of a softer something, like silver, not quite as thick as sister s name Magdalena which is uglier than mine. Magdalena who at least can come home and become Nenny. But I am always Esperanza. sobbing, n. crying in a noisy way Chinese year of the horse. Refers to the Chinese zodiac, which assigns an animal to the year a person was born. Like western astrology, the Chinese zodiac predicts personality traits and fortunes. chandelier, n. a fancy light fixture that hangs from the ceiling inherit, v. to receive something from a person who used to have it, usually after that person has died

9 Lesson 2 How Do Writers Discover Ideas to Write About? 2/2 My Name (continued) 1 I would like to baptize myself under a new name, a name more like the real me, the one nobody sees. Esperanza as Lisandra or Maritza or Zeze the X. Yes. Something like Zeze the X will do. From The House on Mango Street. Copyright 1984 by Sandra Cisneros. Published by Vintage Books, a division of Random House, Inc., and in hardcover by Alfred A. Knopf in No further reproduction or distribution of this material is permitted. Reprinted by permission of Susan Bergholz Literary Services, New York. All rights reserved. istockphoto.com

10 Lesson 3 Writing Ideas from Our Reading 1/5 The Jacket by Gary Soto 1 My clothes have failed me. I remember the green coat that I wore in fifth and sixth grades when you either danced like a champ or pressed yourself against a greasy wall, bitter as a penny toward the happy couples. 2 When I needed a new jacket and my mother asked what kind I wanted, I described something like bikers wear: black leather and silver studs with enough belts to hold down a small town. We were in the kitchen, steam on the windows from her cooking. She listened so long while stirring dinner that I thought she understood for sure the kind I wanted. The next day when I got home from school, I discovered draped on my bedpost a jacket the color of day-old guacamole. I threw my books on the bed and approached the jacket slowly, as if it were a stranger whose hand I had to shake. I touched the vinyl sleeve, the collar, and peeked at the mustard-colored lining. bitter as a penny, expression (simile) suggesting resentment or anger 3 From the kitchen mother yelled that my jacket was in the closet. I closed the door to her voice and pulled at the rack of clothes in the closet, hoping the jacket on the bedpost wasn t for me but my mean brother. No luck. I gave up. From my bed, I stared at the jacket. I wanted to cry because it was so ugly and so big that I knew I d have to wear it a long time. I was a small kid, thin as a young tree, and it would be years before I d have a new one. I stared at the jacket, like an enemy, thinking bad things before I took off my old jacket whose sleeves climbed halfway to my elbow.

11 Lesson 3 Writing Ideas from Our Reading 2/5 The Jacket (continued) 4 I put the big jacket on. I zipped it up and down several times, and rolled the cuffs up so they didn t cover my hands. I put my hands in the pockets and flapped the jacket like a bird s wings. I stood in front of the mirror, full face, then profile and then looked over my shoulder as if someone had called me. I sat on the bed, stood against the bed, and combed my hair to see what I would look like doing something natural. I looked ugly. I threw it on my brother s bed and looked at it for a long time before I slipped it on and went out to the backyard, smiling a thank you to my mom as I passed her in the kitchen. With my hands in my pockets I kicked a ball against the fence, and then climbed it to sit looking into the alley. I hurled orange peels at the mouth of an open garbage can and when the peels were gone I watched the white puffs of my breath thin to nothing. cuffs, n. the ends of sleeves on a jacket, shirt, or sweater, usually thicker than the rest of the sleeve 5 I jumped down, hands in my pockets, and in the backyard on my knees I teased my dog, Brownie, by swooping my arms while making bird calls. He jumped at me and missed. He jumped again and again, until a tooth sunk deep, ripping an L-shaped tear on my left sleeve. I pushed Brownie away to study the tear as I would a cut on my arm. There was no blood, only a few loose pieces of fuzz. Damn dog, I thought, and pushed him away hard when he tried to bite again. I got up from my knees and went to my bedroom to sit with my jacket on my lap, with the lights out. istockphoto.com/richard Goerg

12 Lesson 3 Writing Ideas from Our Reading 3/5 The Jacket (continued) 6 That was the first afternoon with my new jacket. The next day I wore it to sixth grade and got a D on a math quiz. During the morning recess Frankie T., the playground terrorist, pushed me to the ground and told me to stay there until recess was over. My best friend, Steve Negrete, ate an apple while looking at me, and the girls turned away to whisper on the monkey bars. The teachers were no help: they looked my way and talked about how foolish I looked in my new jacket. I saw their heads bob with laughter, their hands half-covering their mouths. 7 Even though it was cold, I took off the jacket during lunch and played kickball in a thin shirt, my arm feeling like braille from the goose bumps. But when I returned to class I slipped the jacket on and shivered until I was warm. I sat on my hands, heating them up, while my teeth chattered like a cup of crooked dice. Finally warm, I slid out of the jacket but a few minutes later put it back on when the fire bell rang. We paraded out into the yard where we, the sixth graders, walked past all the other grades to stand against the back fence. Everybody saw me. Although they didn t say out loud, Man, that s ugly, I heard the buzz-buzz of gossip and even laughter that I knew was meant for me. 8 And so I went, in my guacamole-colored jacket. So embarrassed, so hurt, I couldn t even do my homework. I received Cs on quizzes, and forgot the state capitals and rivers of South America, our friendly neighbor. Even the girls who had been friendly blew away like loose flowers to follow the boys in neat jackets. braille, n. a system of printing for blind people. Letters are printed as raised dots that you can feel with your fingers. goose bumps, n. raised skin, like pimples, causes by cold, fear, or excitement chattered like a cup of crooked dice, (simile) comparison of the sound teeth make knocking together when a person is cold, to the sound dice make when shaken in a cup. Crooked suggests that Soto s teeth are also crooked and implies negative self-esteem since crooked dice are not legal dice.

13 Lesson 3 Writing Ideas from Our Reading 4/5 The Jacket (continued) 9 I wore that thing for three years until the sleeves grew short and my forearms stuck out like the necks of turtles. All during that time no love came to me no little dark girl in a Sunday dress she wore on Monday. At lunchtime I stayed with the ugly boys who leaned against the chainlink fence and looked around with propellers of grass spinning in our mouths. We saw girls walk by alone, saw couples, hand in hand, their heads like bookends pressing air together. We saw them and spun our propellers so fast our faces were blurs. 10 I blame that jacket for those bad years. I blame my mother for her bad taste and her cheap ways. It was a sad time for the heart. With a friend I spent my sixth-grade year in a tree in the alley, waiting for something good to happen to me in that jacket, which had become the ugly brother who tagged along wherever I went. And it was about that time that I began to grow. My chest puffed up with muscle and, strangely, a few more ribs. Even my hands, those fleshy hammers, showed bravely through the cuffs, the fingers already hardening for the coming fights. But that L-shaped rip on the left sleeve got bigger, bits of stuffing coughed out from its wound after a hard day of play. I finally Scotch-taped it closed, but in rain or cold weather the tape peeled off like a scab and more stuffing fell out until that sleeve shrived into a palsied arm. That winter the elbows began to crack and whole chunks of green began to fall off. I showed the cracks to my mother, who always seemed to be at the stove with steamed-up glasses, and she said there were children in Mexico who would love that jacket. I told her that this was America and yelled that Debbie, my sister, didn t have a jacket like mine. I ran outside, ready to cry, and climbed the tree by the alley to think bad thoughts and watch my breath puff white and disappear. propeller, n. a device with blades which is attached to a boat or aircraft; an engine makes the blades spin around like a fan stuffing, n. material used to fill the insides of such items as pillows, mattresses, jackets, to make them firm scab, n. hard, dry covering that forms over a cut or wound palsied, adj. pertaining to someone who may be paralyzed in some way and be unable to move

14 Lesson 3 Writing Ideas from Our Reading 5/5 The Jacket (continued) 11 But whole pieces still casually flew off my jacket when I played hard, read quietly, or took vicious spelling tests at school. When it became so spotted that my brother began to call me camouflage, I flung it over the fence into the alley. Later, however, I swiped the jacket off the ground and went inside to drape it across my lap and mope. 12 I was called to dinner: steam silvered my mother s glasses as she said grace; my brother and sister with their heads bowed made ugly faces at their glasses of powdered milk. I gagged too, but eagerly ate big rips of buttered tortilla that held scooped-up beans. Finished, I went outside with my jacket across my arm. It was a cold sky. The faces of clouds were piled up, hurting. I climbed the fence, jumping down with a grunt. I started up the alley and soon slipped into my jacket, that green ugly brother who breathed over my shoulder that day and ever since. camouflage, n. a design of leaves, branches, or brown and green paint used in military uniforms to make it difficult for an enemy to see a soldier gagged, v. almost vomited From The Effects of Knut Hamsun on a Fresno Boy: Recollections and Short Essays by Gary Soto. Copyright 1983, 2000 by Gary Soto. Reprinted by permission of Peresa Books, Inc. (New York).

15 Lesson 4 What Makes a Good Story? 1/1 Summarizing a Plot Somebody Who is the main character? Wants What does the main character want? But What is the conflict or problem? What prevents the character from getting what he or she wants? So How does the character deal with or solve the problem? Then How does the story resolve itself or end? How does the character move on? Summary paragraph:

16 Lesson 5 Generating Titles for a Good Story 1/1 The Jacket Excerpt I Excerpt I When I needed a new jacket and my mother asked what kind I wanted, I described something like bikers wear: black leather and silver studs with enough belts to hold down a small town. We were in the kitchen, steam on the windows from her cooking. She listened so long while stirring dinner that I thought she understood for sure the kind I wanted. The next day when I got home from school, I discovered draped on my bedpost a jacket the color of day-old guacamole. I threw my books on the bed and approached the jacket slowly, as if it were a stranger whose hand I had to shake. I touched the vinyl sleeve, the collar, and peeked at the mustard-colored lining. Think about how this paragraph is like a photograph. Highlight the lines that provide strong images of the jacket.

17 Lesson 6 Mimicking a Text 1/1 The Book of Memory, Book Thirteen Excerpt by Paul Auster 1 He remembers that he gave himself a new name, John because all cowboys were named John, and that each time his mother addressed him by his real name he would refuse to answer her. He remembers running out of the house and lying in the middle of the road with his eyes wide shut, waiting for a car to run him over. He remembers that his grandfather gave him a large photo of Gabby Hayes and that it sat in a place of honor on the top of his bureau. He remembers thinking the world was flat. He remembers learning how to tie his shoes. He remembers that his father s clothes were kept in the closet in his room and that it was the noise of hangers clicking together in the morning that would wake him up. He remembers the sight of his father knotting his tie and saying to him, Rise and shine little boy. He remembers wanting to be a squirrel, because he wanted to be light like a squirrel and have a bushy tail and be able to jump from tree to tree as though he were flying. He remembers looking through the venetian blinds and seeing his newborn sister coming home from the hospital in his mother s arms. He remembers the nurse in a white dress who sat beside his baby sister and gave him little squares of Swiss chocolate. He remembers that she called them Swiss although he did not know what that meant. He remembers lying in his bed at dusk in midsummer and looking at the tree through his window and seeing different faces in the configuration of the branches. He remembers sitting in the bathtub and pretending that his knees were mountains and that the white soap was an ocean liner. Gabby Hayes. An American actor best known for his appearances in western, cowboy movies. rise and shine. Expression meaning get out of bed and prepare for the day (work). venetian blinds, n. A window covering composed of long horizontal strips, usually made of metal or vinyl. configuration, n. an arrangement of parts; a design. From The Invention of Solitude by Paul Auster. Reprinted with permission. istockphoto.com/nadezhda Bolotina

18 Lesson 7 Zooming In on a Moment 1/1 The Jacket Excerpt II Excerpt II That winter the elbows began to crack and whole chunks of green began to fall off. I showed the cracks to my mother, who always seemed to be at the stove with steamed-up glasses, and she said there were children in Mexico who would love that jacket. I told her that this was America and yelled that Debbie, my sister, didn t have a jacket like mine. I ran outside, ready to cry, and climbed the tree by the alley to think bad thoughts and watch my breath puff white and disappear. Choose one of these sentence frames. The important thing about this moment is... This moment stays with Gary Soto because...

19 Lesson 7 Zooming In on a Moment 1/1 She Remembers: Auster Mimic Example Wide-angle lens: She remembers removing the screen from her bedroom window to send a paper airplane into Heather s bedroom window, across the alley, with a note written on it in the middle of the night. Zooming in: She remembers how cleverly she could remove the screen without making a noise. She remembers the smell of the screen, a damp rusty kind of smell. She remembers how Heather and she would muffle their giggles, knowing they were getting away with being up so late at night. She remembers how the crickets sounded when there was silence and how vast the dark sky looked with all the stars twinkling when she ventured her head out the window, careful not to reach too far and fall out the window. She remembers how they must have laughed too hard anyway because Heather s mother came into Heather s bedroom and shut the curtains with an angry snapping sound. She remembers her own mother screeching at the top of her lungs for Heather to get to bed. She remembers how Heather s mother had a talk with her mother the next day, and both girls were put on restriction for a week.

20 Lesson 8 Developing Memorable Characters 1/6 Thank You M am by Langston Hughes 1 She was a large woman with a large purse that had everything in it but a hammer and nails. It had a long strap, and she carried it slung across her shoulder. It was about eleven o clock at night, dark, and she was walking alone, when a boy ran up behind her and tried to snatch her purse. The strap broke with the sudden single tug the boy gave it from behind. But the boy s weight and the weight of the purse combined caused him to lose his balance. Instead of taking off full blast as he had hoped, the boy fell on his back on the sidewalk and his legs flew up. The large woman simply turned around and kicked him right square in his blue-jeaned sitter. Then she reached down, picked the boy up by his shirtfront, and shook him until his teeth rattled. 2 After that the woman said, Pick up my pocketbook, boy, and give it here. 3 She still held him tightly. But she bent down enough to permit him to stoop and pick up her purse. Then she said, Now ain t you ashamed of yourself? snatch, v. to steal tug, n. a strong, hard, pull taking off full blast, an idiom meaning running or speeding away fast, like a rocket blue-jeaned sitter, an expression meaning the character s seat which is attired in blue jeans pocketbook, n. another name for a purse stoop, v. to bend forward from the waist down 4 Firmly gripped by his shirtfront, the boy said, Yes m. 5 The woman said, What did you want to do it for? 6 The boy said, I didn t aim to. 7 She said, You a lie! 8 By that time two or three people passed, stopped, turned to look, and some stood watching. I didn t aim to, an expression meaning I didn t mean to istockphoto.com/penguenstok

21 Lesson 8 Developing Memorable Characters 2/6 Thank You M am (continued) 9 If I turn you loose, will you run? asked the woman. 10 Yes m, said the boy. turn you loose, an expression meaning let you go 11 Then I won t turn you loose, said the woman. She did not release him. 12 Lady, I m sorry, whispered the boy. 13 Um-hum! Your face is dirty. I got a great mind to wash your face for you. Ain t you got nobody home to tell you to wash your face? 14 No m, said the boy. 15 Then it will get washed this evening, said the large woman, starting up the street, dragging the frightened boy behind her. 16 He looked as if he were fourteen or fifteen, frail and willowwild, in tennis shoes and blue jeans. 17 The woman said, You ought to be my son. I would teach you right from wrong. Least I can do right now is to wash your face. Are you hungry? frail, adj. physically weak; delicate willow-wild, adj. meaning tall and slender like a willow tree and wild 18 No m, said the being-dragged boy. I just want you to turn me loose. 19 Was I bothering you when I turned that corner? asked the woman. 20 No m. 21 But you put yourself in contact with me, said the woman. If you think that that contact is not going to last a while, you got another thought coming. When I get through with you, sir, you are going to remember Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones. you got another thought coming, an expression meaning you re wrong ; you had better think about this some more

22 Lesson 8 Developing Memorable Characters 3/6 Thank You M am (continued) 22 Sweat popped out on the boy s face and he began to struggle. Mrs. Jones stopped, jerked him around in front of her, put a half nelson about his neck, and continued to drag him up the street. When she got to her door, she dragged the boy inside, down a hall, and into a large kitchenette-furnished room at the rear of the house. She switched on the light and left the door open. The boy could hear other roomers laughing and talking in the large house. Some of their doors were open, too, so he knew he and the woman were not alone. The woman still had him by the neck in the middle of her room. half nelson, n. a wrestling hold in which the holder puts an arm under the opponent s arm and exerts pressure on the back of the neck roomers, n. people who rent rooms in a house 23 She said, What is your name? 24 Roger, answered the boy. 25 Then, Roger, you go to that sink and wash your face, said the woman, whereupon she turned him loose at last. Roger looked at the door looked at the woman looked at the door and went to the sink. 26 Let the water run until it gets warm, she said. Here s a clean towel. 27 You gonna take me to jail? asked the boy, bending over the sink. 28 Not with that face, I would not take you nowhere, said the woman. Here I am trying to get home to cook me a bite to eat and you snatch my pocketbook! Maybe you ain t been to your supper either, late as it be. Have you? 29 There s nobody home at my house, said the boy. 30 Then we ll eat, said the woman. I believe you re hungry or been hungry to try to snatch my pocketbook!

23 Lesson 8 Developing Memorable Characters 4/6 Thank You M am (continued) 31 I want a pair of blue suede shoes, said the boy. 32 Well you didn t have to snatch my pocketbook to get some suede shoes, said Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones. You could of asked me. 33 M am? 34 The water dripping from his face, the boy looked at her. There was a long pause. A very long pause. After he had dried his face and not knowing what else to do, dried it again, the boy turned around, wondering what next. The door was open. He could make a dash for it down the hall. He could run run, run, run! 35 The woman was sitting on the daybed. After a while she said, I were young once and I wanted things I could not get. 36 There was another long pause. The boy s mouth opened. Then he frowned, not knowing he frowned. 37 The woman said, Um-hum! You thought I was going to say but, didn t you? You thought I was going to say, but I didn t snatch people s pocketbooks. Well, I wasn t going to say that. Pause. Silence. I have done things, too, which I would not tell you, son neither tell God, if He didn t already know. Everybody s got something in common. So you set down while I fix us something to eat. You might run that comb through your hair so you will look presentable. frowned, v. making a facial expression that shows sadness or displeasure

24 Lesson 8 Developing Memorable Characters 5/6 Thank You M am (continued) 38 In another corner of the room behind a screen was a gas plate and an icebox. Mrs. Jones got up and went behind the screen. The woman did not watch the boy to see if he was going to run now, nor did she watch her purse, which she left behind her on the daybed. But the boy took care to sit on the far side of the room, away from the purse, where he thought she could easily see him out of the corner of her eye if she wanted to. He did not trust the woman not to trust him. And he did not want to be mistrusted now. icebox, n. refrigerator 39 Do you need somebody to go to the store, asked the boy, maybe to get some milk or something? 40 Don t believe I do, said the woman, unless you just want sweet milk yourself. I was going to make cocoa out of this canned milk I got here. 41 That will be fine, said the boy. 42 She heated some lima beans and ham she had in the icebox, made the cocoa, and set the table. The woman did not ask the boy anything about where he lived, or his folks, or anything else that would embarrass him. Instead, as they ate, she told him about her job in a hotel beauty shop that stayed open late, what the work was like, and how all kinds of women came in and out, blondes, redheads, and Spanish. Then she cut him a half of her ten-cent cake. 43 Eat some more, son, she said. istockphoto.com

25 Lesson 8 Developing Memorable Characters 6/6 Thank You M am (continued) 44 When they were finished eating, she got up and said, Now here, take this ten dollars and buy yourself some blue suede shoes. And next time, do not make the mistake of latching onto my pocketbook nor nobody else s because shoes got by devilish ways will burn your feet. I got to get my rest now. But from here on in, son, I hope you will behave yourself. 45 She led him down the hall to the front door and opened it. Good night! Behave yourself, boy! she said, looking out into the street as he went down the steps. 46 The boy wanted to say something other than, Thank you, m am, to Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones, but although his lips moved, he couldn t even say that as he turned at the foot of the barren stoop and looked up at the large woman in the door. Then she shut the door. shoes got by devilish ways will burn your feet, an expression suggesting that if people obtain a personal item through illegal means, they are bound to get caught barren, adj. bare, empty, lack of vegetation stoop, n. small porch or set of steps at the front entrance of a house Thank You, M am from Short Stories of Langston Hughes by Langston Hughes. Copyright 1996 by Ramona Bass and Arnold Rampersad. Reprinted by permission of Hill and Wang, a division of Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, LLC.

26 Lesson 9 Developing a Setting 1/1 The Jacket Excerpt III Excerpt III Highlight details that make the setting memorable. Setting: The Alleyway I kicked a ball against a fence, and then climbed it to sit looking into the alley. I hurled orange peels at the mouth of an open garbage can and when the peels were gone I watched the white puffs of my breath thin to nothing. With a friend I spent my sixth-grade year in a tree in the alley, waiting for something good to happen to me in that jacket... I ran outside, ready to cry, and climbed the tree by the alley to think bad thoughts and watch my breath puff white and disappear. After discussing this excerpt in your class, complete one of these two sentence frames. The important thing about the alleyway is... The details of the alleyway setting [convey] [suggest] that... Select a word from the Mood Words chart to complete this sentence frame. The setting establishes a mood.

27 Lesson 9 The Writer s Toolkit: What to Do When You Think You Are Done 1/2 My Dog Skip Excerpt by Willie Morris My Dog Skip is an autobiographical narrative about growing up in Mississippi in the 1940s. The writer, Willie Morris, is shy and unable to make friends until his parents give him a puppy, which becomes beloved in the neighborhood and allows him to have more confidence in meeting others. Read as a Writer Read this excerpt which describes the setting for events taking place in My Dog Skip. Follow by highlighting memorable details, inventing a telling sentence that captures significance, and drafting a sentence which suggests a mood. 1 The town where Old Skip and I grew up together was an unhurried and isolated place then. About ten thousand people lived there, of all races and origins, and it sat there crazily, half on steep hills and half on the flat Delta. Some of the streets were not paved, and the main street, stretching its several blocks from the Dixie Theater down to the bend in the river, was narrow and plain, but down along the quiet, shady streets, with their magnolia and pecan and elm and locust trees, were the stately old houses that had been built long before the Civil War, slightly dark and decaying until the descendents became prosperous enough to have them restored, which usually meant one coat of white enamel. isolated, adj. separated from others; standing apart or alone paved, adj. covered with a hard surface, often concrete or asphalt descendants, n. people born into later generations of a family or line of ancestors prosperous, adj. financially successful, having more than enough money enamel, n. a paint that dries to a hard, glossy finish istockphoto om/mbphoto, INC.

28 Lesson 9 The Writer s Toolkit: What to Do When You Think You Are Done 2/2 My Dog Skip Excerpt (continued) 2 All of this was before the big supermarkets and shopping centers and affluent subdivisions with no sidewalks and the monster highways and the innocence lost. It was even before there was television, and people would not close their doors and shut their curtains to watch the quiz games or the comedy hours or the talk shows where everybody talks at once. We would sit out on our front porches in the hot, serene nights and say hello to everyone who walked by. If the fire truck came past, we all got in our cars to follow it, and Skip was always the first to want to go. The houses were set out in a line under the soft green trees, their leaves rustling gently with the breeze. From the river sometimes came the melancholy echo of a boat s horn. affluent, adj. having a lot of money innocence, n. having no or very little knowledge of or experience with the more complex and unpleasant aspects of life serene, adj. calm, quiet, peaceful melancholy, adj. very sad Willie Morris My Dog Skip. New York: Vintage Books. Reprinted with permission.

29 Lesson 9 Developing a Setting 1/1 Analyzing Setting: My Dog Skip Task #1. If this setting were filmed for a movie, which details should be zoomed-in on? Highlight the memorable, unforgettable details in the text. Task #2. Record four highlighted details that are musts for the movie. Task #3. Choose one of the sentence frames to write a telling sentence that expresses what all the details are trying to show about the setting. Back then,... but now... In the past...; in the present... Invent your own telling sentence. Task #4. Suggest a word for the mood the setting conveys and write a summary statement. The setting establishes a mood.

30 Lesson 9 Developing a Setting 1/1 Teacher Ideas for Show, Not Tell Exercises Turn the telling sentence into a showing paragraph without using the telling sentence. Characters Settings Moments She/he is lazy. She/he is artistic. She/he is romantic. She/he is the picture of health. She/he is stubborn. She/he is generous. It was a cold winter day. The neighborhood was alive. The mall was like a ghost town. The forest was magical. My room was a mess. The stadium was crowded. The atmosphere grew tense. She took her time. Everything grew silent. Laughter erupted. The last minute of the game was a nail-biter. I was stuck.

31 Lesson 9 Developing a Setting 1/1 Memorable Place Teacher Example I could see Nick s Corner Store from my bedroom window, not a complete view, just the side curb where customers would pull up to run in and grab last-minute groceries. Nick s Corner Store was like an amusement park to me, and how often standing on my tip-toes and stretching my neck out the window I longed for permission to run down the path on my own and buy whatever I wanted to buy, with no grown-ups in sight. Inside the dimly lit shop that was Nick s Corner Store it smelled of floor wax and popcorn and the smoke from Nick s cigar. There were shelves of canned goods and dried goods, shaving creams and shampoos, but to a child, the chocolate bars and bubble gum, popsicles, and licorice sticks were the main attractions. Best of all, in the back of the store, with a little light bulb glowing from above, was that arcade machine you fed a quarter to try your luck at retrieving a toy. Sample responses to the lesson: Ask students what all these showing details might be trying to tell. They might say: Nick s Corner Store was like an amusement park. A child s world is full of wonder. Note how you are asking students to invent their own sentences without using a sentence frame. Connect the idea of telling in their statements to statements of significance. Ask students how they came up with their telling statements what details gave them their impressions. They might say: Best of all was the machine you fed a quarter to try your luck at retrieving a toy shows how items in Nick s store were like those in an amusement park. Standing on my tip-toes and stretching my neck out the window shows how much the writer is full of wonder.

32 Lesson 9 Developing a Setting 1/1 Guidelines for Modeling Feedback Partner s Chair: Modeling Feedback Model how to give positive, specific feedback to both the author and the partner as each presentation concludes. First, comment on a partner s feedback Compliment for: Serving as careful readers Isolating unforgettable details and how they show significance Suggesting effective words for capturing moods Say something like: I like the way you noticed the lighting and how the gradual setting of the sun suggested a somber mood. Somber is a great mood word to add to our list. I like how you re making an inference from specific details. That s what good readers do. Second, comment on the author s writing Compliment for: Recalling specific details that photograph the setting Using inventive language (images, simile, metaphor, personification, precise words) that dramatizes a mood Say something like: I agree with your response partner about how you described the lighting. You took your time to show the gradual loss of light and the lengthening of shadows. You zoomed in; you elaborated in slow motion. This makes me feel like something is going to change soon. Ask the writer a final question: If you were going to write an autobiographical or fictional narrative, how might you use the setting you developed? Is there an incident that takes place in this setting that you will always remember? Finally, invite all students to take a minute to respond to this question and record an associated incident, if they can think of one.

33 Lesson 10 The Writer s Toolkit: What to Do When You Think You Are Done 1/1 The Writer s Toolkit: What to Do When You Think You Are Done Reread your work, and find a telling sentence that could be improved by more showing. Write the telling sentence as a new title for a notebook entry. Show the idea without using the telling sentence. Reread your work, and zoom in on a moment. Find an important moment to take your time with and photograph. Reread your work, and add a simile to a description. Think of a comparison to make for an important detail. Something is like something else... Reread your work, and add a setting where it could use one. Think of the mood you want to put readers into, and photograph the scene. Write a then and now setting, a town where you once lived compared to where you live now; your home compared to a grandparents home. Reread your work, and add natural-sounding dialogue between characters. Insert natural-sounding dialogue into a scene between characters. Mix native language and English, if talk like that is real. Rewrite a first-person narrative in third-person. Select a piece that might become a fictional narrative. Read your independent reading book, and borrow a new idea to try in your writing. Try something new, and volunteer for the author s chair to see what others think. Consult What Goes Into a Writer s Notebook and Writing Ideas from Our Reading for new writing ideas.

34 Lesson 10 The Writer s Toolkit: What to Do When You Think You Are Done 1/1 Features of a Good Story This chart shows you the connections between the features of a good story and the possible writers strategies that might be used to create this feature. Features Situation is real, believable Gets your attention at the beginning Characters are real, believable, interesting Setting casts a mood Actions are suspenseful Vivid details Has a good ending Makes you think Possible Strategies Select real experiences that matter to you, incidents you want to remember Repeated line A suspenseful conversation/dialogue A setting that casts a mood A character description A line that makes you think Typical actions that demonstrate character traits Natural-sounding dialogue that shows interaction between characters Zooming-in on details Showing, not telling Then compared to now Zooming-in on a moment Showing, not telling Zooming-in on a moment Showing, not telling Use of similes Concludes with something someone says (dialogue) Concludes with a line that makes you think Returns to something said at the beginning (then and now) May include a statement of significance that the reader will keep thinking about

35 Lesson 11 Developing a Plot Structure 1/1 Plot Structure Situation changes Problem Solution Introduction Ending Significance Place the following academic language in the proper places on the graphic. Rising Action Falling Action Conflict Exposition Resolution/Denouement Theme Turning Point/Climax

36 Lesson 11 Developing a Plot Structure 1/1 Plot Structure (completed) Situation changes Turning Point/ Climax Rising Action Problem Falling Action Solution Conflict Introduction Exposition Ending Resolution/ Denouement Significance Theme

37 Lesson 12 Rereading the Notebook for a Seed Piece 1/1 Reflection on a Quotation Advice from a Writing Teacher Did you ever sit around with a friend... and you start telling some story, and about halfway through you see your friend s eyes light up because your story has just reminded him of a story. And then, he waits until you re done so he can tell his story. And then his story reminds you of a story, and you try to hold on to it while you listen to him so you don t forget the story you want to tell. It seems to me that conversations between friends, if you re just hanging out and talking, tend to go like that... And pretty soon you have this line of about thirteen stories just waiting their turn to come out, like skydivers in their plane. I want to see if we can get some of that going in here today. Time for Meaning: Crafting Literate Lives in Middle and High School (Randy Bomer 1995) Reflection for Writer s Notebook Why does Bomer tell his students this? What point is Bomer trying to make? Write a reflection in your Writer s Notebook on this teacher s advice to his students.

38 Lesson 14 A Storyboard for a Narrative 1/1 Plot Structure: Checklist Parts of a Story Exposition. How does the story establish the characters and situation? Name of Student : Storyboard Conflict. What is the main problem or challenge? Rising Action. How does the plot move forward with further details? Climax. What is the turning point or moment of highest interest when things start to change or the conflict begins to resolve? Falling Action. What happens after the climax? Resolution/ Denouement. How does the story end? How do the parts tie together?

39 Lesson 15 Developing a Rubric 1/2 Rubric for a Narrative Rubric for a Narrative Criteria Opening/ Exposition 4 Bull s Eye 3 Almost Setting Characters Use of Details Plot Structure and Organization Ending/ Resolution Sentence Variety Conventions

40 Lesson 15 Developing a Rubric 2/2 Rubric for a Narrative Rubric for a Narrative 2 Not Close 1 Missed!

41 Lesson 15 Developing a Rubric 1/2 Rubric for a Narrative (completed) Rubric for a Narrative Criteria Opening/ Exposition Setting 4 Bull s Eye Lead establishes the situation and engages reader s attention. Readers want to keep reading. Readers hear the writer s voice. Setting establishes when and where the story takes place and creates a believable world; setting casts a mood. 3 Almost Lead introduces the situation with some engaging details. Setting offers some details about the time and place the story takes place; details are mostly facts. Characters Use of Details Plot Structure and Organization Ending/ Resolution Major characters are interesting and well-developed; readers can infer specific character traits from descriptions, actions and dialogue. Details show a range of narrative strategies: zooming-in, sensory details, show, not tell, magnified moments, figurative language, imagery, actions, dialogue, typical talk, precise words. Plot has a specific conflict or challenge. There is rising action, a climax (turning point) falling action and a resolution. Important moments are magnified, and pacing is smooth. Transitions sequence events and move the plot forward. Ending is engaging and emphasizes significance; resolution makes the reader think. Characters are described with some interesting details, but with fewer narrative strategies. Details are used throughout the story but with fewer techniques. There are frequent telling details without showing. Plot is generally clear, with some sequences less-developed. Pacing is good, but somewhat unbalanced (some events happen too fast or too slowly). Transitions move the plot forward. Ending brings closure to the story with a specific point or significance. Significance might be obvious. Sentence Variety Conventions Sentences are of different lengths (long and short); writers use compound and complex sentences; cumulative sentences with verb clusters; transitions Narrative is edited for proper paragraphing, capitalization, endpunctuation, punctuation of dialogue, punctuation of verb clusters, personal pronoun usage, consistent verb tense, and spelling. There is some sentence variety: simple, compound and/or complex sentences; some transitions. Narrative is edited for correctness, but there are some areas that are still incorrect. The mistakes do not interfere with understanding, but the work is not as professional.

42 Lesson 15 Developing a Rubric 2/2 Rubric for a Narrative (completed) Rubric for a Narrative 2 Not Close Lead seems to explain (tell about) a situation more than using strategies to engage the reader. 1 Missed! No evidence of planning or revising for an engaging lead. Setting is stated, but has little impact on the story. Setting is not mentioned. Characters are identified, but are not made interesting. Character traits are not very evident. Characters are named but there is no description. The story is mostly telling without showing. The story does not provide specific details. Plot is somewhat disorganized. Story may begin logically but lose its way; or, story may begin confusingly, then picking up form. Writer may use some transitions. There is little sense of a logical beginning middle and end. Ending is there, but lacks significance (or significance seems tacked on ). Ending, is more a stopping place for the story than a closing with significance or meaning. There is little sentence variety. Sentences seem the same with the same rhythm. Sentences may be choppy or run on and on; sentences do not flow. Errors are frequent and constantly interfere with a reader s understanding. Errors are so distracting, the reader becomes frustrated because of having to reread to understand.

43 Lesson 15 Developing a Rubric 1/3 Miss Sadie by a student 1 Miss Sadie no longer sits in her rocking chair on her porch on summer days. But I still can see her. The old chair squeaking with every sway of her big, brown body. Her summer dresses stained from cooking in her sweet smelling kitchen. I see her gray hair pulled back in that awful, yellow banana clip. Most of all, I hear that voice. So full of character and wisdom. 2 I used to bring Miss Johnson cookies every summer day of I miss the days when I would sit on that shabby old porch and listen to her stories. Melissa! she would holler. What chu doin here? Come see me and my poor self, have ya? 3 She once told me of her grandmother who escaped slavery, back when white men could only do anything, she would say. Her grandma ran for miles without food or water. It wasn t too long before her master came looking for her and took her home to whip her. I thought of how Blacks are treated today. I sighed. She would sing in her soulful, blaring voice, old negro hymns passed down from her mother and grandmother. I would sit there in amazement. 4 Once, Jimmy Taylor came walking by us yelling, Melissa! Whattaya want with that old, fat, Black lady, any ways? 5 Before I could retaliate, Miss Johnson said to me, Now, you musn t. We must feel sorry for that terrible child. His mother must have done gone and not taught him no manners! She actually wanted me to bow my head and pray for him. (Even though I went to his house and punched him out the next day.) istockphoto.com

44 Lesson 15 Developing a Rubric 2/3 Miss Sadie (continued) 6 My friends would tease me for spending the whole summer with Sadie Johnson, The cookoo of Connecticut, they called her. But I m so very glad I did. She taught me then, to not care what other people thought. I learned that I could be friends with someone generations apart from my own. 7 My visits became less frequent when school started. I had other things to think about. Boys, clothes, grades. You know, real important stuff. 8 One day I was thinking, I haven t seen Miss Sadie in a while. So after school I trotted up to her house amidst the twirling, autumn leaves. 9 I rang her bell. The door cracked open and the woman adjusted her glasses. May I help you? 10 Miss Sadie, it s me, Melissa. 11 I I, she d stuttered. I don t remember, she said and shut the door. I heard crying. I rang the door again and she screamed, Please leave! in a scared, confused voice. 12 I went home bewildered and my mother told me to stop bothering Miss Sadie. I said I wasn t bothering her. Mama said, Miss Johnson has a disease. Alzheimer s disease. It makes her forget things... people, family even. And so, I don t want you over there anymore, you hear? Then, I didn t realize or comprehend, how someone so special to you could forget your own existence when you d shared a summer so special and vivid in your mind. 13 That Christmas I went to bring Miss Johnson cookies. She wasn t there. I learned from a family member that she was in the hospital and that she d die very soon. As the woman, a daughter maybe, spoke, my heart broke.

45 Lesson 15 Developing a Rubric 3/3 Miss Sadie (continued) 14 Well, you make sure she gets these cookies, I said, my voice cracking and tears welling in my eyes. 15 Today, I ve learned to love old people. For their innocence, for their knowledge. I ve learned to always treat people with kindness, no matter how cruel they may seem. But mainly I ve learned, that you must cherish the time spent with a person. And memories are very valuable. Because Miss Sadie no longer sits in her rocking chair on her porch on summer days. I m glad that I can still see her. istockphoto.com/yinyang. California Department of Education, P-16 Policy and Information Branch, 1430 N Street, Suite 3207, Sacramento, CA Reprinted with permission.