Sample essays. AQA examination (higher tier) Grade-C answer

Transcription

1 AQA examination (higher tier) A How does the following extract from Act 3 scene 2 contribute to the plot and themes of the play? (from 3.2 line 36 ay me, what news to line 97 Shall I speak ill of my husband? )1 Grade-C answer The extract presents a scene between Juliet and her nurse. Juliet has been waiting with great expectation, for Romeo to visit her so they can sleep together.2 When the Nurse comes in Juliet asks her why she rings3 her hands and the Nurse tells her he s dead, he s dead. She repeats dead several times to exaggerate the terribleness of this situation.4 The theme of conflict is highlighted here,5 as the news of a death is a direct result of the conflict between the Capulets and the Montagues. This conflict has meant that Romeo and Juliets 6 happiness will be short-lived. The Nurse shows her close feelings for the Capulet family, part of the theme of families7 in the play, by saying how sad she is that there has been a death, but it takes her a while before she tells Juliet who has died and in what circumstances. It is really annoying for the audience8 to have to wait for the Nurse to tell Juliet the truth as we know what has happened and almost want to shout out to Juliet. 1 This style of AQA question only requires a focus on the set scene. 2 A clear but simplistic introduction. 3 Spelling error should be wrings. 4 Some examination and explanation of language. 5 Appropriate comment on theme. 6 Apostrophe in the wrong place should be before the s. 7 Identifies the theme of families, but needs to say more about it. 8 This comment on how the play affects the audience could be phrased better and, most importantly, explored further. 1

2 The Nurse uses lots of language that makes the death seem horrible such as a bloody piteous corse (55) and all in gore blood (56) which make it sound more horrid to Juliet.9 Juliet is desperate to know the truth and guesses who could be dead as the Nurse has said Who would have thought it? Romeo! (42) which, to Juliet, sounds like Romeo s dead, but she really means that Romeo has killed Tybalt. This leads to Juliet thinking Romeo has slain himself (45), a sad foreshadowing of the final scene of the play.10 The nurse seems to mislead Juliet, not telling her the truth, but this could be just cos11 she s12 a bumbling character and is flustered cos of the death. When she finally tells Juliet what s happened, Juliet is confused. O serpent heart, hid with a flow ring face (73) is imagery used to show that Romeo looks really nice but underneath is a serpent, or evil, as he has killed Tybalt.13 She lists a load14 of oxymorons15 to emphasise her confusion over the good and bad qualitites16 of Romeo, but she soon decides that she is loyal to her husband when the Nurse criticises Romeo. This all adds to the theme of love, as love isn t easy at times, like now for Juliet, but she shows how strong her love for Romeo is as even though Romeo has done something really bad, Juliet still loves him.17 9 Some examination of language, though at a rather basic level. 10 A useful point on technique used by Shakespeare, but this could be explored and developed much more. 11 Too informal in style should be written because. 12 She is would be more formal here. Same comment about what s happened in the next paragraph what has happened would be better. 13 Some examination, but not a developed exploration of language. 14 Too informal a lot of would be better. 15 Only identifies the technique here. Needs to have a quotation or two and to explore the language used. 16 Spelling error should be qualities. 17 The essay needs a clear conclusion, which is absent here. B Explore how Shakespeare develops the plot and theme of this scene in another scene. Grade-C answer Act III Scene 5 is another scene that shows the strength of Romeo and Juliet s love. It is the last time they see each other and they are both sad that they will be parted.1 Juliet shows how sad she is when she tires2 to persuade Romeo to stay: Wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day (3.5 1)3 She tries to convince him that she can hear the nightingale, a bird of the night and not the morning lark. People believed strongly then that the birds had a specific impact on events.4 1 Clearly identifies which scene is to be written about. 2 Incorrect spelling of tries. 3 Uses text helpfully. 4 Useful observation, contextually, on the significance of the symbol of birds, but this could be explored more fully. 2

3 Romeo tells Juliet he knows it was the lark, the herald of the morn (6), which he can hear and it is a signal for him to go. Their love is so strong that he says he will happily stay with her and face the consequences of this ( death ),5 but Juliet then convinces him to go. This shows Romeo s impetuous nature6 as he is happier to die than lead a life without Juliet, but he hasn t thought about how the Friar may be able to help them be together again. He cleverly makes Juliet tell him to go by asking death to come and welcome! Juliet wills it so (24) as if saying it will be her fault. This shows that Romeo is either so determined to stay with Juliet and die that he doesn t care.7 We also8 see the Nurse in this scene and she, as usual, is helping Juliet by warning her of her mother s approach. Romeo must leave quickly as she knows nothing of the wedding. 5 Good use of an embedded quotation. 6 Some clear analysis of Romeo s character. 7 We are missing the or part of this sentence. Partially clear idea stated here. 8 Links the two scenes together with a comment on the Nurse. However, this could be more fully developed. The strength of their love is further shown by their final words. Juliet calls him love, lord, ay husband, friend (43) showing the many different aspects to their love and he tells her he will write to her a lot. I will omit no opportunity that may convey my greetings, love, to thee. (49 50) Juliet calls on Fortune, a typical reaction at this time, to make their separation as short as possible and send him back (64).9 So this scene continues the theme of love and marriage, showing the strength of Romeo and Juliet s love and it also shows the role of the Nurse and the power of the fates and fortune and how this impacts on everyone s lives.10 A typical grade-c mark scheme (Band 3) highlights the following: sustained response to elements of text effective use of details to support interpretation explanation of effect(s) of Shakespeare s uses of language and/or structure and/or form and effects on audience appropriate comment on ideas/themes despite lapses, information is presented in a way which is usually clear 9 Some useful quotation, but the answer mainly focuses on plot and not on language and its effect. 10 Reasonably clear conclusion, with some assessment of how the chosen scene links back to the other in terms of theme and plot, which the question has asked for. 3

4 syntax and spelling have some degree of accuracy, although there are likely to be frequent errors The answers above do this, but no more. There needs to be much closer focus on language and ideas throughout in order to get a better grade. AQA and WJEC controlled assessment (higher tier) It is important to note that the controlled assessment task will require you to compare the play with another text. For AQA, you will compare with any text from the English Literary Heritage. For WJEC, you will compare with a poem. For the example below, there is no direct comparison with another text, but where this could (and must) be developed is explained in the notes. Explore how families are presented in Shakespeare s Romeo and Juliet and X.1 Grade-A* answer The Capulet and the Montague families are at the heart of everything that is tragic in Romeo and Juliet.2 It is their behaviour and the feuding nature of each clan which impacts devastatingly upon the relationship between Romeo and Juliet.3 Shakespeare cleverly4 crafts the play so that we see a lot of the Capulet family, but we only briefly see the Montagues. Perhaps this is because5 Capulet plays such a significant role in Juliet s despair at having to marry Paris, that Shakespeare considered him to be vital to the plot. Romeo is left very much to do as he pleases and is never seen with his parents. His family seems to consist of his friendship group of Mercutio and Benvolio. This is a clear reflection of the customs of the Elizabethan period,6 where the males were much more independent than the females, but this could also7 be a reason behind Romeo s restless compulsiveness.8 One key area that Shakespeare focuses on is the conflict between the two families in the play. We are informed, by the Prologue, of 1 The second text will depend entirely on the question and on what you have studied. 2 Clear and immediate focus on the importance of families in Romeo and Juliet. 3 At this stage, it would be pertinent to mention the second text and discuss how families are presented there, making a significant link or a main contrasting point. Comparisons should then continue to occur throughout the answer (see italicised comments below). 4 Awareness of writer at work, with own opinion included. 5 Exploratory point. 6 Contextual link made. 7 Further exploration of how Romeo s family affect his behaviour. 8 At some stage here, there should be a comparison with how the families are presented in the other text studied, related, perhaps, to similar ideas such as parent/child relationships. 4

5 the background to the feud. By placing this information at the very beginning of the play, Shakespeare impacts upon the audience how vital this ancient grudge (3) will be upon the events of the rest of the play.9 The fact that the ill-fated star-crossed lovers (6) are impacted upon so severely by the families is stated at the very beginning, so the audience is left in no doubt as to the significance of the family differences on the play s tragic events.10 The structure of the play is such that we are instantly thrust into the third riot between the two families, Shakespeare cleverly engaging his audience with some action but, at the same time, showing us how much the disagreement has got out of hand.11 While it was not untypical for there to be family differences, these two families have become so arrogant and so obsessed with each other that they care little for anyone else and are happy to fight in public, causing mayhem and destruction, something Baz Luhrmann reflects in the opening battle scene of the 1996 film, set in a fire-engulfed petrol station in the middle of everyday traffic. This modern-day take on the original play highlights the all-encompassing nature of the feud.12 The fact that the two heads of the family, on arriving, instantly draw their swords without pausing to find out what is going on and why gives some indication as to why the feud has become so intense: no one has stopped to try and find a peaceful resolution, it seems, and only the Prince, with the ultimate threat of execution, can have any control over them. Shakespeare could also be explaining Romeo s impetuous nature as a family trait: his father s determination to fight Capulet Hold me not, let me go (1.1 70) highlights his almost childish impetuousness.13 The only reason for the feud is a disagreement over an airy word (1.1.80) hinted at by the Prince. The notion of family honour is explored by Shakespeare throughout the play. Tybalt, on detecting Romeo s presence at the Capulet party in Act 1 scene 5, immediately considers his presence as a slight on the family. He is convinced that Romeo has attended the party to fleer and scorn at our solemnity (1.5 56). Because of his obsession with destroying all things Montague, Tybalt determines to kill Romeo there and then, without a moment s thought for the consequences, not only to his future life, but also to the guests current pleasure.14 This exemplification of family selfishness is echoed throughout the play:15 Lady Capulet s 9 Clear analysis of the impact of structure. 10 A clear structural point on the other text would also be useful and could result in some interesting and original exploration. 11 A useful exploration of the various reasons for having a riot at the beginning of the play. 12 A good exploratory and original link with a film version of the play. 13 A detailed exploration of text, character and attitudes in the play, analysing the cause of the family differences. Further exploration of how a parent s attitude or nature can be reflected by their child may occur here from the other text, with direct comparisons or contrasts made. 14 Good, confident exploration of Tybalt s obsession with the Montagues. 15 The point is then perceptively linked to the play as a whole. 5

6 demand for Romeo s death on hearing of Tybalt s murder, Tybalt s goading of Romeo in Act 3 scene 1 and Capulet s wish to see a dagger in the back of a Montague at the end of the play ( ). The patriarchal role of Capulet is explored, by Shakespeare, in the play exposing to a modern audience a society that allowed the man of the family to dominate. Shakespeare s contemporary audience would have recognised this situation as the norm and would not question the acceptability of a father forcing a daughter to marry a man she does not wish to. Today, such situations are normally confined to those of certain ethnic groups who still practise the tradition of arranged marriages.16 I believe it was Shakespeare s intention to expose the dangers of such controlled, unromantic love (perhaps he was a forerunner of the great Romantic poets),17 advocating a society that allowed its young to choose who they want to marry. 16 A confident comparison of how audiences now and then may perceive the patriarchal family. 17 A very perceptive comment. Capulet is presented as a brutal man insisting that Juliet marries Paris, or she will be thrown from her home, disowned. He treats her like a possession to do with as he chooses: And you be mine, I ll give you to my friend; And you be not, hang, beg, starve, die in the streets, For, by my soul, I ll ne er acknowledge thee ( ) It is interesting that he sees her as a present which he can give to Paris, his friend, showing how Shakespeare viewed the attitudes of many of the patriarchs in London at this time.18 The role of the families and the way Shakespeare presents them is crucial within Romeo and Juliet.19 It is interesting that only through tragedy can something positive occur. The deaths of Paris, Romeo and Juliet, at the tragic climax of the play, are not totally worthless as it forces Capulet and Montague to end the feud: 18 Further apt development and exploration would be useful here, for example, This can be compared with X, where the father 19 Link to the second text would be appropriate here. O brother Montague, give me thy hand: This is my daughter s jointure, for no more Can I demand. ( ) The marriage settlement for Romeo and Juliet is to be reconciliation between the families. With only ten lines left of the whole play, it can be argued that this comes far too late, but at least there is some hope for the future to end the play with no hope would be very bleak indeed Perceptive final comment on the ending of the play and the genre. This could be linked with the second text and how it ends, or chooses to end, the theme/presentation of families. 6

7 The qualities being looked for in a grade A* answer include the following: sophisticated engagement with writers ideas and attitudes sophisticated interpretations using imaginatively selected supporting textual detail sophisticated analysis of aspects of language and structure perceptive and imaginative exploration of points of linkage and comparison perceptive and imaginative comment on the significance of the contexts multi-modal submissions demonstrate sophisticated responses which illuminate the texts, e.g. through use of imaginative visual or audio 7