WE LOVE YOU, NUTS! Written by Helio J Cordeiro
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1 WE LOVE YOU, NUTS! Written by Helio J Cordeiro Helio J Cordeiro hjcordeiro@hotmail.com Copyright 2006
2 FADE IN: EXT. GARDEN DAY MORNING A very flowered and green place. The birds are... blah, blah... MALE VOICE (OS) (Sigh) I don t know Kevain, but this world is very, very unfair... (OS) Why, Thon? (OS) Look... Have you seen any lizards as the main character of any Walt Disney picture? (OS) Nope. (OS) So, for me it is discrimination. (OS) Yeah...pure discrimination. Two lizards are moving on top of a tree branch. They stop where the sunlight is hitting. Both of them lay on face up in order the sun burns their yellow-green bodies. I never read a script about a lizard main character... (disappointed) Really... But about a deer I saw... Oh, the little deer... Yeah, but they never will film a movie with a couple like us for example... (tuning to Kevain) Oh, I got what you mean! Because we are so scare...
3 2 That s right... Maybe because we don t pay taxes... No you fool...you don t know why? Because we haven t any representative on the senate? (rolling his eyes) Yeah that s right...! Of course not! No, no, no...what I know is that Disney made lot of movies with different kind of animals but... & But never with lizards! A canary poses nearby the two. ARY Hey, guys! Is everything okay? Hi Can! Hey, Can... ARY Today s very hot isn t it? & (so sad) Yeah. What s the matter with you two? Discrimination. Pure discrimination. ARY It is a serious matter. Very...
4 3 Let me ask you Can. Have you seen any animated movie with a little deer? Bambi? Right...Have you seen any with a cat? Oh my god! Too many...tom, Felix, Sylvester... Right, right, canary too...tweet for example... (proudly) Yeah... And mice? It is easy...mick... (interrupting) Okay, Can, okay. Listen to me. Have you seen any lizard on Disney or what ever movie company in the main role? Hmmm...Nope. That s right. No fucking lizard! Oh my god, it is true! Sorry, fellas... Why don t we write a script with lizards? Yeah, it is great idea... Kevain is sweating a lot. He gets up and moves toward the branch and takes a leaf and dries himself...
5 4 (skeptic) Really? I don t know... That s a good idea, guys. It can be your first chance to see lizards on a movie story... That s right, Kevain! It could be our great chance. Come on, dude. Hmmm...Okay then. (embracing Kevain and kissing him) Yes, Kevain! Good, Kevain! But who will write it, guys? Can and Thon look each other in doubt. (upset) Yeah, who? GRAVE VOICE (OS) ME! A huge cat appears in front of them! It is PHILISTINE! PHILISTINE Hey, Can, how about to take ride, huh? Go away Philistine! & Let him alone! Kevain and Thon move fast in front of Can and gesture like two karate fighters! Philistine laughs! PHILISTINE Get out of here Tom and Jerry! AND Kevain and Thon, idiot!
6 5 With a fast move Kevain and Thon jump to Philistine and both kick the cat face hardly throwing him off the branch. Philistine lands with his four feet on the ground! Don t bother our friend anymore you second class Sylvester! PHILISTINE Hey, Can I will see you around there... Get out, idiot! Philistine leaves. Thanks guys. & You re welcome, Can. Let s go to the pond... Hmmm...Wait! I got it! What? I know the guy that can write a story with lizards! Who? Who? No, forget it, Can...Nobody will be interested in writing about idiot lizards... Hey, hey guys...i ve heard about a guy...well, they used to say he has a screw loose... (disappointed) A nuts?! Forget that! Let s go to the pond to have bath...
7 6 Wait, wait, fellas...just he can do it. Think about that...guys? Kevain and Thon are moving down the three as Canary look at them in deep thoughts. INT. ROOM DAY It is a good example of how do not live organized. It is! A guy, about (censured!) something is in front of a computer. I need to write something great, powerful...but, nothing happens inside my mussed brain, fuck! (hitting the computer screen) Fuck! He gets up and moves to the kitchen. A beat. Messy comes with a bottle of Rum and a frizzy water. He mixes them in a long glass. Messy takes a gulp on it. He sits on a couch. Switches on the TV and a show runs. INT. ROOM LATER Messy is sleeping. No show on The TV anymore. Suddenly, NOCK! KNOCK! Messy wakes up. Stretches him and goes to the main door. I m going... Messy opens it and... NOBODY is in there! Messy takes a look at the corridor and closes the door back. Suddenly, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK again... He opens the door fast, trying to surprise whoever it is... I got you! Nobody is in there! KNOCK, KNOCK... Messy turns to see inside and looks at the window... He closes the door back and moves toward the window.
8 7 He opens it... Hey was it you? Can stands on the frame. I know you can t understand me, so I ll try to transmit what I want to say in other way... Hey little fella, what are you doing in here? Can picks inside his wings a picture. INSERT THE PICTURE: Thon and Kevain embraced as good fellas! Oh! Do you bring me this? Why? Hey, I hope you understand what I m trying to say...good luck and write a great story with these guys. Bye! Can flies out of Messy s window. Hey, you...don t go...how about Rum with frizzy water? Messy keeps the picture with him and closes the window. Maybe he was abstemious... Messy returns to the couch and sits. (looking at the picture) Lizards! Hmmm... What does it all means? Messy thinks, thinks... Looks at his computer and... Humm...How about two guys named Thon & Kevain and their best friend Can, the canary?!!! Messy jumps out of the couch and sits in front of his computer and hits the board!
9 8 MALE VOICE #1 (VO) Are you saying that a bird posed on your window frame and gave you a picture of two lizards and you wrote that story? MALE VOICE #2 (VO) That s right doc... MALE VOICE #1 (VO) Humm... It seems be too worse than I thought...have you taken your medicine regularly? FADE TO BLACK Then...repeatedly KNOCKS hitting a glass is heard..., AND (OS) We love you, nuts!!!
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