FRANCIS HULME S VIEWPOINT. Written By. Andy Terry

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1 FRANCIS HULME S VIEWPOINT Written By Andy Terry Parkside Nettleham Lincoln LN2 2RZ

2 1. EXT. VIEWPOINT SUMMER EVENING The evening sun illuminates a park bench through trees. The three-seater bench is in the centre of frame. There are trees and bushes behind the bench. To the left of the bench there is a public dustbin. There is a brass plaque in the centre of the bench. It looks like a dedication. In the background there is the faint sound of motorway traffic. On the left hand side we hear the approach of a camper van. It parks close on the left out of frame. We hear a door opening and shutting and keys locking. A (40) walks into frame on the left side and sits down on the far left side of the bench. He has with him a flask of coffee. After sitting for a moment staring blindly into the middle distance he reaches in to his trouser pocket and pulls out a cigarette lighter. He searches in his other pockets for cigarettes but doesn t find any. He keeps holding the lighter and returns to staring into the middle distance. After fidgeting for a few seconds the world-weary man stands up, goes behind the bench and finds a bush. We hear the sound of PISSING. At the same time the PISSING sound is mixed with the sound of another vehicle. This sounds like a BMW and approaches again from the left and parks on the right side of frame. The world-weary man looks over his right shoulder whilst pissing to watch a (25) approach the right side of the bench after opening/shutting his car door and using the sound of central locking. As he comes into the right side of frame he notices the world-weary man and slows his pace. He acknowledges the older man and sits down on the right side of the bench nervously. He does not look over when the older man sits down again on the left side of the bench. The older man continues to play with his cigarette lighter. The younger man takes out his cigarette lighter and compares the two Snap. The older man acknowledges the presence of the younger man and nothing more. The younger man takes his packet of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and leans over towards the older man Cigarette? I m sorry?

3 2. Do you fancy one of my cigarettes? No. No thank you, I quit. The younger man puts a cigarette into his mouth You don t mind if I...? The older man shakes his head and stares forward again. The younger man smokes reflectively and then glances forwards into the distance behind the camera Quite a view, you come here a lot? I ve been here once before. Before now, this evening? Yeah. Cool. The younger man smokes reflectively again and thinks And what did you do that time? The older man suddenly looks over at the younger man I m sorry? The time before what did you do? I sat.

4 3. Sat? Just sat? That s cool. The younger man checks his watch Do you mind me asking...how long have you been sat here? I don t know...maybe... There wasn t somebody here or hanging around in the last ten minutes? The older man is weary that he was interrupted. It seems that getting full sentences generated is hard work for him at the moment...a minute or two. The younger man looks disappointed and looks around away from the older man. He smokes more reflectively and knocks the ash more frequently from his cigarette. Suddenly an idea passes across the younger man s face You weren t intending on meeting someone? I came to sit...alone. That s cool. You re not against the idea of meeting someone? I m sorry, what is it you re selling? Ha-ha! Very good. The younger man extends his hand to shake but the older man declines the proposal

5 4. You sussed me. Yeah, I m a salesman. Do you want my card? The younger man extends his card towards the older man who ignores this No? O.K. Let s just say if you re ever in need of your asphalt... I don t need my ass felt. Ha-ha, very good...your drive asphalting. I don t have a drive anymore. Moving house? Your next place will have a drive. I ll get the Irish to do it. Or the Gypos? The older man smiles but it is not a convincing smile No seriously, we do a good job...what do you do? The same. Really? What a coincidence, or maybe it s fate two salesman meeting on a public bench.

6 5. It s not fate, is it? I take it that you re here for the East Chippenham Trades Conference? Yeh, you too? I just came from there. Any good? The older man inhales air as though he s about to say something, then gives up and exhales the air What do you do? What do you sell? (accenting each letter) I.T. I used to sell I.T. The younger man puts out his cigarette and puts gum into his mouth And now? Still I.T. You said used to. That s right. The younger man looks away confused Is that your campervan? Nope. It s my mobile home.

7 6. Get up to much in it? It s not as exciting as you d think living on the road. You need it for work? I need it to live in. Pointing at his campervan This is it. So not a motel then? The older man is confused by the question No. Mine s the Bima. I noticed. Good car. Good space on the back seat. Again the older man is confused by the comment (CONT D) Your name doesn t happen to be Joel, does it? No. What is your name?

8 7. It s not Joel. Come on. The older man looks away again giving the impression that he doesn t want to speak anymore And you re not meeting anyone here? (No response) You re just here to sit, right? (No response) You do know what happens here? For the first time the older man turns round and looks the younger man square in the face What s that supposed to mean? You mean you don t know? Don t know what? West Chippenham viewpoint it s notorious. For what? Use your imagination. I would rather not. You ve been here before, right?

9 8. Yeah. Was it busy? Busy? What do you mean? Couples? Men? The older man thinks for a bit then realises Oh. Oh God. The older man looks around in the trees and bushes (nodding) Hmm, not your kind of thing then? Hardly. Shame. The younger man looks away for the first time Shame is what I couldn t live with. No offence to you and your chosen lifestyle. None taken. Couldn t you do this sort of thing at home? Yes but where s the thrill in that?

10 9. Long pause Life doesn t always have to be thrilling. When you get to my age you realise that. I can t imagine being arrested being a thrill. It s not illegal. Public decency. We re not in public. Look, you would never have known if I hadn t just told you. Think about it. Ah the bliss of ignorance. If what I ve read about this place is true I wouldn t be sitting here much longer, if I were you. It s a free country and this is a public viewpoint. True, not the best spot to pick. You didn t read about it? Where would I have read it? There was an article I think in the local paper. I m not from around here.

11 10. That s what I say too. I m really not from around here. Neither am I. I don t think it would have been in the national paper - too small a story - local perverts and what-not. Can we not talk about this please? It s spoiling the view. I hadn t really noticed it. I m finding it quite difficult now. Tell me, don t you find it difficult to do whatever you do with innocent members of the public walking their dogs...and families with children...going for walks in the countryside...and God-forbid a single man looking at a wondrous view? Wondrous?! I wouldn t have called it that the Wolds? Wait a minute; I m not here for that... The young man points his thumb behind him at the bushes (CONT D)...I ve never been here before. I m only telling you what I heard. Oh. Sorry. I thought...i

12 11. jumped to a conclusion. To be totally honest, I m not against the idea, just never done it before...outside. It s an interesting experience. You old dog! So you are here for that! No! Fuck off! Sorry mate, no offence. This place has more significance to me than some seedy place to get...whatever you get. You ve only been here once before? That s right. Wow, must have been a hell of an occasion for you to remember it. I remember this place because something very important happened here - fifteen years ago. Lost your virginity? No, I asked my wife to marry

13 12. me - right over there. I wasn t far off. You were. Did you... do it? We made love over there in a recessed area somewhere near the centre of that wooded area. I felt free, I remember. Does tend to happen when you re naked. Funny you should mention that I was fucking someone in the woods only last week. We d met on the internet and she was into outdoor activities, a few texts later and I was ballsdeep. Charming story; very much like mine...in no respects. That s why I m here now. I met a couple on the internet, anyway it turns out that he s got one of these new HD cameras and he s interested in putting his wife on the net, hoping to make some money on the side. Anyway, they re bored of filming themselves so they were looking for someone young and fresh to...get involved. And that s where you step in.

14 13. Yeh, well not really, because I thought you were him. Joel? Joel, exactly. Only the pervert hasn t turned up, unless you scared him off looking like the Old Bill. The older man looks himself up and down Sorry about that... The older man notices the younger man s wedding ring...you married? (CONT D) Yep - three years. We ve got a little one on the way. Do you want to see a photo of the wife? Why not? The younger man leans over and shows the older man a photo in his wallet She s very pretty. You re a lucky man. Yeah, she s alright. Women, marriage, eh? The younger man notices the older man s wedding ring Where s your wife? (CONT D)

15 14. She s gone. Dead? I wish... (he shows regret)...i didn t mean that. Divorced. Technically not. But she s with someone else? Yeah. They ve got a kid on the way too. You don t have kids? I mean you never had kids with your wife...ex-wife? Wife, no we... (long pause)...no, no kids. No children. It won t be long now. Three weeks, give or take. You re looking forward to it? More nervous. You know? Want it all to go smoothly. I m sure. You ll be at the birth, I take it?

16 15. It s normal isn t it? You won t be in the woods, then? The younger man looks worriedly at the older man then looks away Good luck. (CONT D) Thanks. They both look away from each other. The younger man lights a cigarette. For the first time the camera is behind the bench seeing what they ve been seeing. It turns out to be a beautiful sunset Cigarette? Why not? Coffee? Why not? They exchange their gifts and consume. The sun goes down. The younger man stands up and remotely opens his BMW I m off home. The older man stands up and heads towards the camper van You don t happen to know anyone who d want to buy a campervan, do you? That s not really my field. Have you tried selling it? That s not really my field.

17 16. Never really was. Good luck. You too. Back to opening shot of bench. We hear the sounds of the two vehicles pulling away and driving off. The sun is barely illuminating the plaque on the bench. We push in on the plaque so that we may read the inscription: IN LOVING MEMORY OF FRANCIS JOHN HULME ( ) WHO ALWAYS APPRECIATED THIS VIEWPOINT THE END

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