B-I-N-G OH! TEN MINUTE PLAY. By Jonathan Markella. Copyright MMXIV by Jonathan Markella All Rights Reserved Heuer Publishing LLC, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

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1 B-I-N-G OH! TEN MINUTE PLAY By Jonathan Markella All Rights Reserved Heuer Publishing LLC, Cedar Rapids, Iowa The writing of plays is a means of livelihood. Unlawful use of a playwright s work deprives the creator of his or her rightful income. The playwright is compensated on the full purchase price and the right of performance can only be secured through purchase of at least three (3) copies of this work. PERFORMANCES ARE LIMITED TO ONE VENUE FOR ONE YEAR FROM DATE OF PURCHASE. The possession of this script without direct purchase from the publisher confers no right or license to produce this work publicly or in private, for gain or charity. On all programs and advertising this notice must appear: "Produced by special arrangement with Heuer Publishing LLC of Cedar Rapids, Iowa." This dramatic work is fully protected by copyright. No part of this work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without permission of the publisher. Copying (by any means) or performing a copyrighted work without permission constitutes an infringement of copyright. The right of performance is not transferable and is strictly forbidden in cases where scripts are borrowed or purchased second hand from a third party. All rights including, but not limited to the professional, motion picture, radio, television, videotape, broadcast, recitation, lecturing, tabloid, publication, and reading are reserved. COPYING OR REPRODUCING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK IN ANY MANNER IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW. PUBLISHED BY HEUER PUBLISHING LLC P.O. BOX 248 CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA TOLL FREE (800) FAX (319)

2 B-I-N-G OH! By Jonathan Markella SYNOPSIS: The game of Bingo is all about combinations, and so is love. Love between fathers and daughters, mothers and sons. Two lonely people try to find their way in the world over a game of Bingo. A comedy about letters and numbers, loneliness and love. CAST OF CHARACTERS (ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN) JACK (M)... A 48 year-old divorced father and devoted son, who fills his empty hours doting on his elderly mother, driving her where she needs to go and helping her around the house. DEB (F)... A 47 year-old divorced woman who finds herself lonely after her father passes away, so she continues to frequent the Bingo hall where they bonded. SETTING A large VFW hall, bustling with senior activity and all the sights and sounds of Bingo. Jack and Deb meet in adjoining seats at a large function table full of Bingo players. As elaborate or as simple as the theatrical venue allows. NOTE: The Bingo combinations that Deb focuses on are implied and not necessary as a recorded audio element. PROPS A table Two folding chairs Two Bingo cards Two markers. 2

3 AT RISE: B-I-N-G OH! by Jonathan Markella JACK: (Walks up to an empty chair in a large, busy Bingo hall.) Is this seat taken? DEB: (Looking straight ahead, concentrating on the Bingo caller.) B-4. JACK: What? Oh, sorry, sure (Starts to walk away.) DEB: (Takes his card, puts it down next to her and marks it.) B-4 this is Bingo, you snooze, you lose. JACK: I m sorry, what? I thought you said before like someone had it before. DEB: (Looking straight ahead, waiting for the next Bingo call.) They just called B-4 sit you can t play if you don t listen. JACK: Oh, well I m not here to play, I m just (Sitting.) DEB: Everyone s here to play, it s the ones who are here to win that you have to watch out for I-7 c mon (She reaches over and marks his card.) JACK: Oh, no, see I m just here with my mother just watching out for her I m not (Hand gesture over the table.) this DEB: Mother, huh? Where is she? JACK: She told me to move my seat said I was giving her bad luck. (Looking around the room.) DEB: O JACK: Oh? DEB: O O (She reaches over and marks his card.) JACK: Oh! You re really playing here sorry. Oh geez (Ducking behind Deb s shoulder.) I think I know that guy. DEB: What guy? (Looking straight ahead.) JACK: The guy over there in the red sweater-thing he s always in the food court at the KENO monitor. DEB: So you re not this (Gesturing to table.) but you re that? (Pointing in direction of KENO guy.) JACK: Oh no mother again I take her places. She likes the food court and Bingo I just worry about her that s all DEB: What s to worry about? She raised you didn t she? N-33. 3

4 JACK: Yeah, but that was a long time ago she was younger then she s starting to forget stuff she s a little slower... (Looking around the room.) DEB: G-51 c mon keep up. JACK: God this moves fast DEB: It s cause you re distracted. JACK: I lost track of my mom just want to keep an eye on her (Searching the room with his eyes.) DEB: Where is she? JACK: Oh, she s there (Pointing.) blue-print shirt spotless Sketchers (Gives an explanatory tip of his head.) mall-walking. DEB: That s your mom? Blue-print Sketchers? JACK: Yes, why? DEB: B-9. JACK: What? DEB: B-9. Stop worrying. JACK: What do you mean? DEB: Your mom, blue-print-sketchers? She s known as Shirley the Shill she runs numbers for that whole side of the hall. They say no one gets Bingo without her letting it happen. JACK: What? That doesn t sound like her. She forgets to eat lunch sometimes. Are you saying she s - DEB: She s connected, that s all I m saying. JACK: I have to drive across town to make sure she points the right end of the remote at the TV and you re telling me she s the Don Corleone of the Bingo Mafia? DEB: I-22. I m saying your mother is fine, sharp as a tack. She just needs to be social, that s all. So don t worry so much. JACK: I I don t know what to say DEB: But it s nice that you worry. Moms never stop taking care of us, even if it means letting us take care of them whether they need it or not. (Pause.) JACK: How do you know so much about Bingo and mothers? DEB: Had one. Been one. And I ve spent a lot of time here, that s all. JACK: With your mom? DEB: Dad. Mom passed too soon to discover the joys of VFW halls. JACK: So where s your 4

5 DEB: Dad? Shady Hill. JACK: Cemetery? DEB: He s been gone two years. JACK: I m sorry. DEB: That s okay. Wasn t your fault. JACK: I didn t say it was - it s just what you say when DEB: (Turning to him.) You know, you might be bad luck. We don t talk about those who ve passed around here. (Turns attention back to Bingo caller.) JACK: Sorry I m Jack, by the way hi (Extends his hand.) DEB: Crap! JACK: Oh, sorry, I thought it DEB: No, someone just got Bingo. Oh look (Pointing.) it s on your mother s turf. Ten to one she gets a cut of the winnings. Deb. JACK: Deb? DEB: It s my name, Deb. (Looking at his card.) Oh, looks like you re O-less JACK: I beg your pardon? DEB: You had B, the I, N and G you were just one O away. There s a joke in there somewhere but I don t know you well enough JACK: Uh DEB: And look (Pointing again.) the winner is the fallen and can t get up lady JACK: Oh, you mean from the commercial? DEB: No, from the front steps. Last spring she fell and couldn t get up. It was a whole big thing. JACK: This whole evening is moving much faster than I thought and my mother s the ringleader DEB: So that means you can relax and enjoy yourself. JACK: Oh, this isn t usually how I enjoy myself DEB: (Flips over his and her cards.) New game. G-47. So how do you then? JACK: Do what? DEB: Enjoy yourself? JACK: Oh, I don t know I DEB: You re certainly bending yourself into a pretzel telling me everything you re not. 5

6 JACK: That s because I m not who I used to be and not too thrilled with who I am, I guess. Oh my God, did I just say that? DEB: (Looking straight ahead, waiting for the next call.) It s okay I have been told my blunt demeanor and staccato speech patterns tend to catch people off guard. It s made for a few embarrassing moments. B-2. JACK: S cuse me? DEB: Dad s lucky combo B-2 B squared Billy Bennett double B JACK: Oh, nice. DEB: He was. I used to take him here twice a week. Used to worry about him, just like you and your mom. And I d see him spring to life the minute he walked through these doors JACK: So, why are you DEB: Here? Habit. N-48. After spending so much time here with him, I like it. I miss it. And there s not much else to do. JACK: Does it always smell like this? DEB: It s the third Saturday of the month. JACK: Uh care to elaborate on that, or? DEB: Third Saturday afternoon of every month they have a Meat Raffle here. Tends to leave an odor. Eventually the smell of Aqua Net balances it out. Some nights I m surprised this place doesn t spontaneously combust. (Pause.) JACK: Don t you have any other, uh, habits? Hobbies, hangouts husbands? DEB: Just one. And he s long gone. Left after our son died. Couldn t handle it. I couldn t either, but I never considered leaving an option. JACK: (Apologetic.) I m sorry. I I didn t mean to get too heavy DEB: It s okay. You asked. It s nice to be asked. Sometimes heavy is good. Sometimes it beats the alternative. JACK: (Chuckling, shaking head.) We re a pair. Who knew Bingo was so heavy. DEB: And you? Wife? JACK: Ex. DEB: Kids? JACK: Two. Grown. They don t need me as much now, and Mom does, so here I am. 6

7 DEB: And there she is. (Pointing.) Do you think Mom needs help paying off the Bingo caller? JACK: (Shaking his head.) I guess not. (Pause.) Look, uh, sorry if I brought up too much about your husband and DEB: It s okay, don t worry. He left me with low self-esteem and a huge bank account. It s an interesting combination. JACK: (Thoughtful pause.) You know, that s what I think this Bingo thing is all about, isn t it? In its simplest form? Combinations. Letters and numbers right brain and left brain DEB: (Slight smile.) Mothers and sons. JACK: Fathers and daughters. (Long pause.) Can I say something without offending you? DEB: No more than you already have? JACK: I think we can do better strike that different. We can do different things and we should other than Bingo. DEB: Different? Like what? JACK: I don t know, but I think this - (Gesturing between them.) is an interesting combination. Us. Two. You. And me. DEB: I have to warn you. I m a little weird. (Pause.) More than a little. JACK: And more than a little interested. DEB: Says who? JACK: Says me, since you ve missed the last 5 calls. DEB: B-7, N-22, I-19, G-63, and O-55. JACK: You know, you had me at B-4 THE END 7

8 NOTES 8