Lillenas Drama Presents What s Growing Under Your Bed? From What s Growing Under Your Bed? By Martha Bolton A Comedy Sketch About Obedience Characters: REPORTER (may be played by an adult) MATTHEW MARTIN (approximately 8 to 10 years old) Setting: The untidy bedroom of MATTHEW MARTIN Props: Microphone MATTHEW S bed Items under bed include Candy bar and cookies 2 glasses 3 x 5 card Baby clothes Various other items typically found under the beds of children (i.e., toys, papers, games, comics, jackets, cereal boxes, baseball cards, Ding-Dong wrappers, balls, baseball mitts, socks [never a matching pair, though], pencils, markers, coloring books, schoolbooks, crayons, paper clips, old school projects, Boy s Life magazines, stuffed animals, fish food, lunch pails) I could go on and on, but you get the idea. (Sketch opens with MATTHEW MARTIN sitting on his bed, playing. REPORTER is off to the side.) REPORTER (speaking into microphone to audience): Good evening, and welcome to another edition of What s Growing Under Your Bed? the only program that dares to venture into that vast wasteland, that last real frontier, that perilous region known as under the bed of a
fourth grader! (any grade can be inserted)... Each week our brave crew risks life and limb to explore this greatest mystery known to man. We ve cut through dense jungles! We ve battled wretched terrain! We ve fought our way through some of the dustiest dust bowls in America. But it s been worth it all. For in spite of the Tonka toy avalanches, the paper wad boulders, and chewing gum quicksand, our crews have successfully uncovered scores of ancient relics lost for years under the beds of adolescents.... And we re only just beginning. There s so much more to explore! I mean, just think of all the closets and drawers we haven t even begun to open yet! So, join us, won t you, as we continue on our journey and ask yet another youngster, What s growing under your bed? (Starts walking toward MATTHEW) This week finds us in the bedroom of (pulls card out of pocket and reads)... Matthew Martin. (Looks back at audience) Matthew s mother sent his name in 314 times, I believe. MATTHEW (pulls 3 x 5 card out from under his bed and hands it to REPORTER): Make that 315. I never mailed this one. REPORTER (reads card): Well, Matt, it says here your mother likes houseplants but doesn t appreciate them growing naturally under your mattress. MATTHEW: I know. REPORTER: Well, just how bad is it under there? MATTHEW (shrugs): My brother went under there once looking for his ball. REPORTER: And I bet he never found it. MATTHEW: Oh, no. He found it right away. But it took us two weeks to find him. REPORTER: Well, what do you say we take a look. (Bends over and looks) My goodness, son! How d you ever fit all that stuff under there? MATTHEW: It wasn t easy. I really need a king size. REPORTER: So, tell me, Matthew, just how long has it been since you cleaned under your bed? MATTHEW (looks under the bed): I don t know. How old do you figure that tree is? REPORTER (shakes head): Matthew... you know your mother s been wanting you to clean under there. Why haven t you done it?
MATTHEW: Hey, don t get me wrong. It s not that I don t do my other chores. It s just that, well, I m a little afraid of what I might find under there. REPORTER: Well, so is your mother. That s why she sent for us. MATTHEW (rising): You mean you re going in under there? REPORTER: I m not. I m the star... but don t worry, I ll be right here waiting for you. MATTHEW: Oh, no, you don t! I m not going under there! I m just a kid. What if I find something really gross? REPORTER (pointing under the bed): You mean like that dust-covered, halfeaten candy bar over there? MATTHEW (picks up candy bar): Naw, I mean something really gross. REPORTER (takes candy bar, and looks it over): Well, I d call this pretty gross. The expiration date is B.C. MATTHEW (takes candy bar back and takes a bite): It s still good a little crunchy for marshmallow, but its still good. REPORTER (looks sick): Well, what do you say we continue? MATTHEW: Fine with me. Maybe we ll find a sandwich next. REPORTER: Matthew... something tells me there s probably a whole delicatessen under there! (Glancing under the bed) Why don t we see what s in that glass? MATTHEW: Which glass do you mean? REPORTER: The one that awful odor s coming from. MATTHEW (takes a whiff of both glasses): I m afraid you re going to have to be more specific than that. REPORTER: All right, then the one on the right. MATTHEW (looks inside the glass on the right): At one time in its life, I think it was milk. REPORTER: And what s a glass of milk doing under your bed? MATTHEW: It appears to be growing. (Hands him the glass, then looks under the bed again) Here. I think these cookies go with it. (Reaches under the bed and retrieves some cookies. Hands them to REPORTER.)
REPORTER (takes cookies and tries to bite into one): Too bad Nabisco doesn t have a museum. I think they ve petrified! (Looking under the bed) What else is under there? MATTHEW (pulling out a pile of clothes): Just some old clothes. REPORTER: Do they still fit? MATTHEW (holds up baby outfit): I don t think so. REPORTER: You mean, those clothes have been under there since you were a baby? MATTHEW: Of course not! They were under my crib then. I had to move them when I got my new bed. REPORTER: Don t you ever hang anything up? MATTHEW: What?! And open my closet?!! Don t you know that s child endangerment? REPORTER: I take it your closet s cluttered, too. MATTHEW: Let s just say if you open the door, you d better be wearing a hard hat! REPORTER: And your dresser drawers? Are they a mess, too? MATTHEW: Can t say. Haven t been able to open them for two years. REPORTER (looking under bed again): Well, what s that moving over there in the corner? MATTHEW:You mean my pet lizard? REPORTER: No, next to him. MATTHEW: Well, I ll be! It s my hamster! REPORTER: And just how long has he been lost under there? MATTHEW:I don t know, but I sure don t remember him having a beard! REPORTER: Well, listen, Matthew, don t you think it would have been a lot better to have obeyed your mother like the Bible says and just cleaned under your bed? After all, look at all the things you ve been finding and there s no telling what else is under there! MATTHEW: You know, you re right. I really should have obeyed Mom. I mean, I ve already found my hamster, my baby clothes, and a perfectly good candy bar.
REPORTER: And just think, we haven t even started excavating yet! MATTHEW: Yeah, who knows what we ll find when you bring in the heavy equipment! (Starts thinking aloud) Maybe that library book I lost back in second grade... Or my skate that disappeared last winter.... Or even my homework assignment that was due last April. I admit it s late, and the teacher will probably lower my grade all the way to an H, but that s better than nothing!... And what about REPORTER (cuts in while MATTHEW continues mumbling about what else could be under there): And so this concludes another edition of our program. Don t forget to join us next week as we visit a young lady from Montana whose mother claims she had Montana s first hanging gardens growing from her bunk beds.... So, until then, remember obey your mom and clean your room, because you just never know when our cameras might come to your home and ask: What s growing under your bed?! The purchase of this sketch entitles the purchaser to make photocopies of this material for use in their church or nonprofit organization. The sharing of this material with other churches or organizations not owned or controlled by the original purchaser is strictly prohibited. The contents of this sketch may not be reproduced in any other form without written permission from the publisher. Please include the copyright statement found below on each copy made. Questions? Please write, call, or E-mail: Lillenas Publishing Company Phone: 816-931-1900 E-mail: drama@lillenas.com Drama Resources Fax: 816-412-8390 Web Site: www.lillenasdrama.com P.O. Box 419527 Kansas City, MO 64141 The sketch collection What s Growing Under Your Bed? (MP-634) is available for purchase from Lillenas Drama or from your local Christian bookstore. For a full description of the rest of this collection, or to purchase other individual sketches, refer to www.lillenasdrama.com