Title appears: DRUMMER JOKE INT. RECORDING STUDIO DAY TIME Drummer Joke 6 A drummer leans over a fully miced up drum kit. He rests his head on the Snare Drum. We hear warped and distorted sounds of the recording engineers speaking to each other- they discuss mic placement, scheduling, room reverberation ect. The camera lingers on Bobby s face. HE LOOKS OVER TO A CLOCK. It s 9:17. In a montage sequence featuring JUMP CUTS we see the CLOCK PASS TWO HOURS. The time is now 11:21. can t believe after all this time he still finds himself in the same position. He becomes depressed. He now looks over to his FLOOR TOM. He begins to imagine what it would be like to finally play. SOUND OF RHYTMIC DRUMMING. He then looks down to his Snare, imagining what it would be like to play that drum. SOUND OF RHYTMIC DRUMMING. turns his eyes back to the FLOOR TOM. SOUND OF SLIGHTLY MORE ELABORATE DRUMMING. Closes eyes. FADE TO BLACK/FADE IN: We re-enter the scene. The room has now turned dark with the Drums lit by a singular white light along with a red neon light beaming diagonally across the kit to create a LENS FLARE. INSERT: FAST CUT dynamic shots of the all the Drums; the camera TRACKING the movements of S imagined Drum solo as if was actually playing. Nowhere in these shots can we see sticks yet the CAMERA moves across each drum as if there were. GLITCHY shots of Bobby looking distressed, lingering over the kit accompanied with shots and sounds of STICKS SNAPPING are embedded into this abstract sequence. Regular lighting is resumed. is back to reality with his head lying on the Snare- exactly like the opening shot. The CAMERA remains to LINGER on S facial expression. sits up to apply basic maintenance to his kit- he adjusts cymbal height, tunes lugs, switches Snare ect.
FOCUS PULL IN to reveal an intern sitting in the control room, behind the glass. This passage of dialogue goes back and forth from and the INTERN (using the intercom) in these same positions. Sorry for the delay. What s happened? Gone off to take a call. Should only be a few minutes. Can t we just do it you and me? I m only on work experience. Not got a clue how ANY of these buttons work. (gestures to inter-com)only just figured out how to use this thing. is frustrated. and just sit in awkward silence. feels uncomfortable by this. The silence lingers for slightly too long So do you now any good drummer jokes? MS- shot of INTERN typing something into her browser, presumably searching for Good Drummer Jokes. Bobby shoots back a confused expression, surprised that this Intern would ask this. Cos that s kind of a thing isn t it? People always take the piss out of the drummer. (Reading from the web page) Oooh, listen to this one: What s the last thing the drummer says before he gets kicked out of the band hey, how about we try one of my songs?
rolls his eyes. doesn t want to indulge the INTERN. BUT, he feels that perhaps he should make some effort. (Reluctantly) Yeah, that or what do you call a drummer with half a brain? INTERN (Excited) I dunno, what? lets out a big nervous laugh. It s now 12:23. Gifted. Series of JUMP CUTS again showing the time move from 12:23, to 12:47, to 1:00. is becoming very agitated by still having to wait. starts to sweat., anxious of the time, racks her brain trying to think of something to say. She sees has a COFFEE CUP by his Drums. The next series of conversation is incredulously slow and awkward, featuring big long lingering silences. What did ya go for? What? The coffee. Oh, just an Americano but with hot milk instead of cold obviously.
Hot instead of cold isn t that just a flat white? No it s an Americano. Americano is black. I just chose to have milk with it. Hmmm I see what you re saying What about this though? I went to a coffee shop the other day, on the road where I live, and when I was there I got a Latte. Long awkward pause. Yeah it was good. But, then last weekend I go to this place in London and they serve it to me in a glass. INSERT sound of CLOCK TICKING. I didn t really do anything. I suppose had I chose to take it away, instead of have in, they would have probably put it in a mug for me. Yet another period of silence. Mug is still glass. Ah well plastic cup then. Is it actually glass though? When I think of a Mug my head goes straight to crockery. THE CONTROL ROOM. INT- DAY Cut to: For the first time, we see the conversation from beyond the glass in the Control Room. Jamie sits by her computer with a web page entitled Good Drummer Jokes to the right of her computer screen. The same conversation continues: Do you drink much tea?- The WALKS IN. I am so, SO sorry.
(turns on the inter-com to speak to ) Dude, things have really gotten on top of me today family shit I m all yours now. The goes to turn the inter-com off but MISSES. He doesn t notice. (To Jamie) Sorry about this Jenny- Jamie. PROUDCER Sorry about this Jamie. Today s been mental. No problem, you had your family stuff to sort. Family stuff? Yeah you said you had things- No, no I was just speaking to another client. What? Did you think I was goanna just say to Tommy- Bobby. Did you think I was just going to say to that I was dealing with a singer who has the potential of radio play, opposed to say some drummer.. Of course not.. Priorities INTERN looks back to the inter-com, which is still on, then looks over to who s hearing the whole thing. The INTERN is alarmed! SOUND OF CLOCK TICKING. How have you been getting on anyway? Yeah okay, just been waiting here talking to-
FANTASTIC(claps hands)!. You ve been doing artist liason Great place to start. Yeah it s just that he s been waiting a while- happens to see the INTERNS web page open on his computer screen. Oooh I love drummer jokes. My favourite is what s the difference between a Snare drum and an Onion?... no one cries when you chop up a Snare Drum (points at ) He must hate that? Can t even hear me, silly fucker! Bobby is hearing the whole conversation. The Intern notices the inter-com button is still on. Um, yeah do know that- THE now forgets and moving over to the computer, SCROLLING through the web page amusing himself. Hang on a sec Ahh this one s even better: What does a drummer use for his personality?... Contraception. makes eye contact with. can t believe this. starts to PANIC. Cut to: INT. RECORDING STUDIO DAY TIME Bobby sits back at his Drums again, taking on all what he has heard. The time is now 1:05. He looks across to his FLOOR TOM again. He CLOSES HIS EYES. The same low key lighting (spotlight, red neon ect.) is re-visited from the earlier passage in the film. He imagines a low repeating THUMP. The CAMERA stays on the THUMP for for a few moments.
Back to in conventional lighting looking at his FLOOR TOM. grabs his Snare Drum and starts walking towards the glass between the Recording Studio and the Control Room. The THUMP continues into a MILITARY beat... is deadly serious. We can see the LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY at this web page, oblivious of walking towards the glass. is almost paralysed by fear at this point., holding his SNARE DRUM, TAPS ON THE WINDOW. The producer finally pulls himself away from the computer screen. SOUND OF A SKIN BREAKING AND GRUNTING. The and INTERN turn their attention from the computer screen onto. He STANDS DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE GLASS WITH HIS HEAD POKING OUT THE SNARE DRUM. The INTERN and are shocked. : I ve got one for you. FADE OUT.