Commentary on candidate evidence Candidate 1 The evidence for this candidate has achieved 8 marks for the Literature element The candidate chose to answer Question 4. The candidate s evaluation of the text shows a good appreciation of the writer s theme, purpose and stance: The theme of A Chraobh is love. Throughout the poem Montgomery s love begins to disappear and starts to change and become negative. This theme has been identified, and in line with the question set, has been explored throughout this piece. The candidate s personal appreciation of the text is mostly clear and is for the most part presented logically and with some perception: Montgomery s use of versification is useful for enhancing the reader s understanding of the theme love as it feels like you are experiencing it with her and she shows how quickly and easily happiness can become unhappiness and I agree with how easy it can happen. The candidate uses evidence from the text to support the appreciation. The candidate has referenced the text throughout this piece in order to support relevant points. The candidate uses critical terminology: Montgomery cleverly uses poetic techniques such as versification, word choice, imagery and symbolism to deepen your understanding of the theme, love. The candidate addresses the chosen question: Montgomery s use of versification helps to enhance the readers understanding of the theme love as the poem is split into 4 verses and This helps to deepen the understanding of the theme love as it s in the summer stanza and in summer everyone is happy and full of love and everything and everyone is just blossoming. 1
Candidate 2 The evidence for this candidate has achieved 6 marks for the Literature element The candidate chose to answer Question 3. The candidate s grasp and evaluation of the writer s theme, purpose and stance is evident, but basic: its key issue is the thoughts and feelings that are raised at the prospect of returning home. This issue has been identified, and is dealt with throughout the piece in quite a repetitive manner. The candidate s personal appreciation of the text is reasonably detailed and relevant: I appreciate this story because although we are told nothing about the soldier you discover all his inner most hopes and thoughts. The candidate uses some evidence from the text to support the appreciation. The candidate uses some critical terminology: Iain Crichton-Smith has cleverly used word choice, flashbacks, flash-forward and imagery all to effectively remind each and every person what a joyous place home should be. Although these techniques are referred to, the candidate does not fully address them in this piece. The candidate makes some attempt to address the chosen question: The issue it made me think about was what home is like when you have been away for so long and how tragic it must have been to be on the Iolaire The candidate has made a reasonable attempt to answer the question, but the response lacks the depth of understanding that would be expected of an 8 or a 10 mark response. 2
Candidate 3 The evidence for this candidate has achieved 10 marks for the Literature element The candidate chose to answer Question 4. The candidate s evaluation of the effectiveness of the text shows a comprehensive appreciation of the writer s theme, purpose and stance: The poem, in essence is about the changing of love and Catriona cleverly explores the theme by showing that love has good and bad times. The candidate s personal appreciation of the text is lucid and is presented in a logical and perceptive manner: It shows the reader that her love is forever changing ; For me, as the reader it makes me feel sympathy for the poet ; In my own opinion A Chraobh is an outstanding poem which successfully deals with the idea of love. The candidate uses details from the text to support the appreciation. There is extensive evidence from the text in this piece of writing. The candidate has extensively referenced the text in order to support points made. The candidate uses a range of critical terminology: rhyme scheme, symbolism, versification, repetition. Although there is not a very wide range of critical terminology, the candidate has thoroughly dealt with each aspect in an effective manner. The candidate fully addresses the chosen question: It emphasises the writers feelings for her love, thus deepening the readers understanding and Montgomery enhances my understanding by using the many literary techniques such as symbolism, versification, rhyme scheme and repetition. 3
Candidate 4 The evidence for this candidate has achieved 8 marks for the Literature element The candidate chose to answer Question 5. The candidate s evaluation of the text shows a good appreciation of the writer s theme, purpose and stance: The themes of the story are loneliness and how two cultures can come together through little or no conversation. The candidate s personal appreciation of the text is mostly clear and is for the most part presented logically and with some perception: This also gives us imagery of how the old lady s hand would be veiny and discoloured. This again emphasising her age and how frail she has become. The candidate uses evidence from the text to support the appreciation. The candidate has referenced the text throughout this piece in order to support each point made. The candidate uses critical terminology. extended metaphor, word choice, simile, structure. The candidate addresses the chosen question: The use of techniques in this short story had a huge impact on me as I feel sometimes I let opportunities pass me by which is what I felt the old lady did by returning back to her life sitting looking out the window. 4
Candidate 5 The evidence for this candidate has achieved 6 marks for the Literature element The candidate chose to answer Question 4. The candidate s grasp and evaluation of the writer s theme, purpose and stance is evident, but basic: The poem Da Rathad by Anna Fraiter gives the viewpoint of being able to make your own life choices, instead of following the choices that others make. The candidate s personal appreciation of the text is reasonably detailed and relevant: The character makes the reader understand that they aren t perfect but it s the life that they chose. The candidate uses some evidence from the text to support the appreciation. The candidate has referenced the text throughout this piece in order to support points made. The candidate uses some critical terminology: metaphor, imagery The candidate makes some attempt to address the chosen question: The character makes the reader understand ; to help the reader understand and This enhances my understanding The candidate has made a reasonable attempt to answer the question, but the response lacks the depth of understanding that would be expected of an 8 or a 10 mark response. 5
Candidate 6 The evidence for this candidate has achieved 4 marks for the Literature element The candidate chose to answer Question 3. The candidate s grasp and evaluation of the writer s theme, purpose and stance is problematic or limited. The candidate identifies that the text is very effective in dealing with the issues of loss and suffering but fails to effectively expand on this, and instead tends towards retelling the story. The candidate s personal appreciation is reasonably relevant and detailed, and in this area the candidate s work resembles that of a 6 mark response: I find it very sad that and I find this use of repetition very effective.... Again, however, the candidate tends to simply retell the story without evaluating it. The candidate uses some evidence from the text to support the appreciation. This is another area where the candidate s piece resembles that of a 6 mark response, as there is sufficient reference to the text throughout.. The candidate uses very little or no critical terminology: Crichton Smith uses a variety of literary techniques to create such a moving story such as repetition, irony, sentence structure and irony. Although these techniques are referred to in the introduction, the candidate does not fully address them all in the body of the piece. The candidate makes an attempt to address the chosen question. The candidate identifies issues raised in the text, but overall this piece fails to fully evaluate the text and instead tends towards retelling the story. 6