Leading from Your Strengths

Leading from Your Strengths ML108 LESSON 2 of 2 John Trent, Ph.D. President and Founder of StrongFamilies.com John: Hi, I m John Trent. Rodney: And I m Rodney Cox. John: Now, Rodney, we re back talking about how we can lead from our strengths. Now we spoke ear- lier in the first session about how we are different by design, how we each have unique strengths, and looked at a passage in 1 Corinthians that points out that s a positive, isn t it? Rodney: It s a great thing. You know, in 1 Corinthians chapter 12 what we really stated is, is that, listen, we need to become more interdependent on our differences and stop letting those differences divide us, but unite us. John: Well, add the fact that we are literally placed right where we need to be. The answer isn t bailing out and finding something else. It s how do you blend your team, how do you turn conflict into cooperation, which is what this session is all about. Rodney: Absolutely, and in this session as we take a look at turning conflict into cooperation, we re going to deal with four predictable areas of conflict that every team will face. How you problem solve together, how you deal with information together, how you manage change together, and how you face risk together. So, John, let s jump into this thing called conflict to cooperation. John: Well, to do that we are assuming and if you haven t taken it, I want to encourage you to do that but we re assuming that you ve got your Leading from Your Strengths instrument. Now, Rodney, when you and I sat down several years ago and with a team of really outstanding experts put together the Leading from Your Strengths instrument, that s a great way for somebody individually to see what are my unique God-given strengths, right? Rodney: Absolutely. Just like we shared with you in God s Word out of 1 Corinthians chapter 12 some foundational truths, some anchors, the Leading from Your Strengths assessment with a simple 8 to 10 minute online process will give you 28 pages of value, 28 pages of how valuable you are. 1 of 9

John: Well, and the first thing it s going to help you do is that we look at a scale or what we call the L scale, or the lion scale, and that s going to tell us a lot about how we deal with problems. And understanding where we fall on that scale is going to be hugely important isn t it? Rodney: Absolutely. You know, John, we use a baseball analogy in order to communicate this skill called the lion skill, and you might be asking what in the world does baseball have to do with prob- lem solving? Well, if you ll take a look at the image on your screen, you ll see a baseball game in full play. Now one of the things that you might realize about that baseball game is that it s Wrigley Field, because you can see the ivy wall, right? But take a look at the ball halfway to the plate. Now let s talk for a moment about what might happen whenever the ball is struck by the batter. The ball s in place, we have a goal; we have to make an out, right? We have to field the ball. See, but God has placed two different types of strengths on the field. He s placed infielders, and he s placed outfielders. So let s talk about infielders for a moment. When infielders hear the crack of the bat, what s the first step they take towards the ball, John? John: Hey, it s reaction. If you re playing third base or something, you don t have time to do anything except react to the ball. Get moving. Rodney: Absolutely. And outfielders do something distinctly different. When they hear the crack of the bat, what s the first step they take? John: Well, when they coach you to really high end players, their first step is either going to be back or to the side, and that s hugely important, because if you re in the outfield there s nobody behind you so you need to decide, boy, where am I going and think about that. For a really good functioning team, what if you have all infielders? That s not going to work, right? What makes a championship team is when you ve got some people who take a step back, others who take that step forward. Rodney: So think about that, John. Infielders full of action and reaction. What it takes to field a ball and to throw an out to first is different than what it takes to calculate and triangulate and catch a fly ball. John: That s right, and that s what we re measuring on this lion s scale, in other words the higher you go on the lion s scale, the more you re going to be like that infielder, right? Okay? Rodney: The more aggressive that you ll be, the more bold and driving, pioneering, direct, competi- tive, and determined. When you hear the crack of the bat, your first action is towards the ball. John: Now what happens if you re at the bottom side of this scale? Those are the people that are more peaceful, agreeable, cautious, cooperative, you know. 2 of 9

And we need those in other words to be an effective team. Can you solve, Rodney, I mean can you solve every problem aggressively? Rodney: No way. John: Well, you can, but if you do, you can likely cause a lot of problems, right? Rodney: Yeah, so think about that for a moment. When was the last time that you heard the passive word used in a strength set? Well, as John stated, you cannot solve every problem aggressively. As a matter of fact, if you take a complex problem and you solve it aggressively, you ll tend to compound that problem. See, God has placed those differences on the team. The natural strength of firefighting, that s the aggressive individual; and the natural strength of complex problem solving, that s the pas- sive individual. And we need both of those strengths. How we deal with those differences, John, on our team every day, and how we place them on the field is the difference between a season of baseball and a championship season of baseball. John: Well, that s exactly right. Now that s the first predictable area of conflict. How do we deal with problems? Now the next predictable area of conflict is what we call the otter continuum, or the otter scale and, Rodney, here we ve got a couple of glasses. Now go and put these on and, boy, you look pretty sharp in those. Those look pretty good. Now let s say somebody s watching this and they re wearing glasses and somebody in the room with them has glasses, so here s all you have to do is what? Switch glasses, and then you ll be able... you ll be able to get sick almost instantly, okay, because the bottom line is what? I mean there s real differences. Rodney: Right, you know the number one corrected vision problem in this country is what, John? John: Nearsighted. Rodney: So, if you think about that, farsighted and nearsighted, see God has wired some of us to be able to see out there, to be able to see the vision, but he s wired others of us to be able to see very closely, to be able to see the details. How we process information on the team is vitally important once again to unite us or divide us, to create efficiency or effectiveness or create great division. John: Well, and think about that if you ve got somebody on the team, let s say you ve got a whole team of optimists. I mean these are the people that see great. They just don t see any problems at all, you know. Hey, trust me, we don t need to read the prospectus, just go for it, you know. That can cause real problems. What if you have a whole team of people that are on the other side? I mean they see all the problems and everything up close, all the details, but they need that vision. Again, we go back to the fact that we talked about in 1 3 of 9

Corinthians 12. You need both people. God places us with different people not to frustrate us but to really help us be more effective. Rodney: It s those differences that are very valuable to us, but what we do with those differences tend to divide us every day. You know, once again in this otter scale what we re really measuring is how you process information. There are many of us, as John already stated, that are very optimistic. We re inspiring, persuasive, convincing. We use lots of words to influence people to our point of view. But God has wired others of the people on our team to be more realistic. Those individuals are objective, critical, cool, they re reflective. They tend to validate every piece of information that you give them, no mat- ter how long that you ve known them or how long you ve been in the relationship, and the difference between those two things once again drives a wedge in our relationship. We need the optimistic. The one that can see the vision, John, but we also need the realist. The individuals that can see the incre- mental obstacles that stand in our way for our dreams to come true. John: And valuing each one of them as a unique part of the team. So here s what we ve looked at so far as we ve looked at lions, right, who tend to be... what we re looking at there is with the team: Are you an aggressive, or are you more of a passive, problem solver? We need both for an effective family, an effective team. Same thing with the otter: How do we process information? Are we more optimistic, or are we a little bit more realistic? And again, blending differences. Rodney: And no matter where you fall on that scale, it s important for you to understand that they re both strengths. There is no weakness in the model. It s how we apply the strengths once again that creates efficiency or effectiveness or the lack of it. John: Okay, let s jump into the third predictable area of conflict: how you deal with problems, how you process information. Well, here s the next one. It s what we call the golden retriever or the G scale. Rodney: Right, and in the G scale, if you ll take a look on the screen, you ll see an actual track. Now if you take a look at that track, what you ll discover is there s three smaller pictures on the bottom of that scale. John: Yeah. Rodney: Each one of those pictures represents something. The first is the start, the center is the pass of the baton, and the last is the finish. So obviously, it s what? John: Well, it s a relay race and, wait a minute, guess what we happen to have 4 of 9

right here is a giant and enormous baton. Rodney: Yeah, now the good news, John, is that you and I ought to be able to pass that baton be- cause it s long enough, right? John: And Rodney, this is where so many teams and so many families get in trouble. Rodney: Right. John: It s because some of us are really good at starting, aren t we? We re out of the blocks, you know, but we don t finish very much. Rodney: Right, right. John: But then there s others of us that are great at finishing, and so the key will come in how do we pass the baton. Here I m passing it, there you go. Rodney: So think about that for a moment. There s some of us that like in our environment a very predictable environment, and because we want a predictable environment, do you think we re going to want things to go slower or faster? Well obviously slower, John. So if we want things to go slower in our predictable environment, do you think that we ll tend to resist change or accept change? John: Well, you know for a lot of us we ll tend to... maybe resist isn t the best word because it s not that we can t change, we want to know: Why should we change? How s it going to affect everybody else on the team? So that does make us more resistant. Rodney: So think about that a moment. The predictable individual is a planner. Okay, they tend to plan everything they do. Now we also call those predictable people, the finishers. They don t start very many things, but they tend to finish everything they start. John: Right. Rodney: Now there is another group of people that God has placed on the team that are more dy- namic in nature, and those individuals are hurried and tense, flexible, and they tend to be somewhat impulsive. John: I mean these are the people that come home and say, Honey, guess where we re moving to- morrow? Rodney: Right. And we need those individuals on the team that can start lots of things, okay, but let me ask you a question, John. If they start lots of things, 5 of 9

can you tell me how many things they nor- mally finish? John: Well, it depends on how many people they have on the high side of the golden retriever s scale. Rodney: Once again, the world will consistently communicate to you and other team members, if you re not careful, that if you re a finisher, you better figure out how to start starting a few things to succeed around here; and if you re a starter, you better figure out how to start finishing a few things in order to succeed. But effectiveness and efficiency isn t found in becoming something God didn t cre- ate you to be. It s found in the interdependence of a starter being able to pass that baton and let those individuals that finish, finish well; and if I m a finisher, to let the starters start, John. John: Well absolutely. Remember... remember back in that 1 Corinthians passage, you know. That was something we hammered on: that God places us right where he wants us to be, but not only that, he creates us uniquely because we bring that strength. So we need the finishers and we need the starters. And there s one last predictable area of conflict, Rodney, and that has to do with what we call the beaver scale, all right? Rodney: Now in the beaver scale, you might be asking why in the world do we have a basketball in front of us here. Well, if you look at the picture on the screen, you ll see the image of a basketball game, and you ll see the coach is about to call a play. Now this is the last game of the finals. Okay, now it s game 7. Here is the scenario: down by two, three seconds left on the clock, John. Okay. Do you throw it to the inside man for the sure lay up and the tie, or do you throw it to the outside man and do you go for the win? John: Hey, give me the ball and go for the three. Rodney: Well, no way, we re going for the two. Let me ask you a question: When risk comes up in your team meeting, how do you deal with that? Are you taking the safe bet, or are you taking the risk? And many of our team meetings end in the debate about what s the best strategy. Well, where do we get the objective reality? How do we discover what the truth is, and what do we really need to do when it comes to risk? John: Well, and that is again why when you take the Leading from Your Strengths report, when you realize what are my strengths and then all we ve talked about 1 Corinthians and God placing us where we want to be and these predictable areas of conflict, now we come down to something like: Should we take a risk on this, and there s sometimes when risk is okay, isn t it? Rodney: Absolutely. And you know God has wired us with two different approaches here as well, okay, and it dramatically impacts our risk tolerance, 6 of 9

John. There are some of us that are very cautious; therefore, when we see a rule in place, we see that rule as a source of protection. Okay. But there are others of us that are more impulsive, okay, more independent, and when we see that rule in place, we see it as a what? John: It frustrates us. Rodney: It s an obstacle, and it stands in the way of what God really might have for us, right? Well, that s the category we put it into, but it might not be the right category. John: Now and again that s why we need people that are different than us. Rodney: Right. John: So, Rodney, to kind of wrap up this session, we started off by talking that there are four pre- dictable areas of conflict that every team is going to face. We talked about the Leading from Your Strengths report that gives you that, okay, where am I? For example, where am I on the lion s scale when it comes to problems? Am I aggressive in dealing with problems, or am I more passive? Rodney: And you know it s how we take that aggressive and passive approach and apply it that makes a difference between a season of baseball and championship season of baseball. You can t solve every problem the same way. There are some problems that require aggressive problem solving and others are more complex. John: Well, we looked also, Rodney, at how do we process information. Now in most families, in almost every team, we ve got what? We ve got somebody that s an otter on the high side of the otter s scale, and they process information by being very trusting, very optimistic, right? But there is somebody else sitting in the room that s very different. Rodney: Yeah, very realistic, you know, and once again we need to process information. We need those individuals that can see out there, can see the vision, but we also need to see the incremental steps that have to be applied in order for that vision to become a reality. John: And, Rodney, think about it. When people on the high side of the otter s scale come up with a great idea and it can t fail, and then they actually value the input of the people that know how to get there, now all of a sudden they can really move forward. Rodney: Absolutely. They no longer stand in your way but they are best allies. How do we take our differences and turn them into great cooperation? John: Well, that led to the third predictable area of conflict, and that is: How 7 of 9

do we deal with change? Okay, and for some of us, man, its change it right now. We love that. And then there are others that re- ally want it more predictable and, you know, really want to make sure they get all the factors in before they ever make a change. Rodney: Right, so remember that predictable individual wants an environment that is predictable; therefore, they re going to be slower-paced and they re planners. They tend to be the ones that finish what gets started. On the other end of the scale, those individuals, the dynamic people, they start lots of things but they don t finish a lot; so we must rely on the starters and the finishers in order to have an effective team. John: It s making that hand off. Rodney: Absolutely. The transition of the baton. John: And then the last one, remember, the basketball. Do you go for the two points and tie the game and go into overtime, or do you chuck it up and go for the win? Well, that s what we really measure there: Are you a risk taker, or do you want things more calculated? And that s... that s a huge differ- ence, isn t it? Rodney: Right, and that difference between when we see a rule as a source of protection, John, or whether we see that rule as an obstacle, is key. Now I want to make one other point in this area of the beaver s scale, okay, because it s not that beavers, or low beavers, the impulsive people, can t follow rules, okay. I don t know about you, but when I asked my mom and dad the question why, they always said what? John: Because I said so. Rodney: Right, and God has wired the low beaver, the impulsive person, to ask the question why. Why is the rule there? And let me assure you, they will find the why somewhere, and it might not be where you want them to find it. It s not that they can t follow the rules, John, but they have to under- stand the why. If they follow... if they have the why, they can follow those rules with all their heart. John: Well now, think about that, Rodney. If a team actually took the time to first of all get on the same page as 1 Corinthians, you know, how do we view ourselves and how do we view others? And then if they actually took the time to look at these four predictable areas of conflict. If a family did that, that would be awesome, and that s part of why we ve actually built some tools around this for teams and families and even small groups to be a part of, right? Rodney: You know we ve created this two-step series for you to give you just an overview of what the Leading from Your Strengths process is all about 8 of 9

and how it can transform the most valued relation- ships you re journeying through life with. If you re a leader listening to this particular tape series, it s important that you understand there is a lot of support material out there from Leading from Your Strengths. John and I have written a series of books together that deal not only with leading a team but leading your family. John, it s been a great pleasure to be with you again today. John: Well thanks, and again we just encourage people to go home and begin applying some of this in their teams and in their families. Start leading from your strengths. Thanks for joining us. Christ-Centered Learning Anytime, Anywhere 9 of 9