Colorized covers are for web display only. Most covers are printed in black and white.
Colorized covers are for web display only. Most covers are printed in black and white. Comedy. By Julie Jensen. Cast: 6m., 8w. It s an ordinary day at the Harvey House Restaurant along the Santa Fe Railroad in Las Vegas, New Mexico. The 20th century is just a couple of years away, and the six people on the staff of the restaurant are engaged in their usual struggles. Mary wants to run things because she s smarter than the others. Effie takes her on at every turn, in the meantime waiting impatiently for her boyfriend who hasn t showed up in three months. Whistle, a young native girl, thinks the white people talk too much and eat entirely too much. Miss Mecham wants them all to remember that women with jobs are much better off than women with children. Raul, the young Mexican kid, thinks the whites are loco, and Bachmann, the German chef, makes rules that few people follow. That s the ordinary part of the day. Then we get word that there s an armed woman roaming around, having been a part of a train holdup earlier that morning. Mary is terrified, Whistle oblivious, and Effie so curious that when she meets the armed woman, she invites her to apply for a job as a Harvey Girl. Mixed in with all this are the strange and wonderful people of the town: Swamp, a fast-talking shyster who makes money selling stuff he doesn t own; Glitterman, a studious miner, who knows he will hit pay dirt somewhere between the subcrustacean stratum of the Precambrian Era and the deposits of the wandering antediluvian bog waters; Stella who reads a lot of books, wants to be a Harvey Girl, and eats free at the restaurant because she has no parents; Shudder who runs a herd of sheep all by herself because she has a past that includes murder and she knows they re after her; Pillage, a Civil War vet, who needs a job and freedom from his nightmare of dying in a swamp with a hundred injured horses; Miss Longtree, a retired actress who speaks in verse; and, finally, Godlee, a preacher man, who believes the end of the world will come tonight, and he s right, it does. This satirical play is fast moving and magnified. Think Molière with a dose of the Coen brothers. One int. set. Approximate running time: 1 hour, 20 minutes. Code HA1. Cover photo: Harvey Girl uniform on display at the Arizona Railroad Museum. Photo: Jot Powers (May 2005). Cover design: Jeanette Alig-Sergel. ISBN-10 1-58342-684-1 ISBN-13 978-1-58342-684-5 9 781583 426845 02010 www.dramaticpublishing.com Dramatic Publishing 311 Washington St. Woodstock, IL 60098 ph: 800-448-7469 Printed on recycled paper
THE HARVEY GIRLS A play by JULIE JENSEN With the gen er ous con tri bu tions from the grad u ate act ing class of 2010, Penn State Uni ver sity. Com mis sioned by the thea tre de part ment at Penn State Uni ver sity and Dra matic Pub lish ing. Dra matic Pub lish ing Woodstock, Il li nois Aus tra lia New Zea land South Af rica
*** NO TICE *** The am a teur and stock act ing rights to this work are con trolled ex clu - sively by THE DRA MATIC PUB LISH ING COM PANY with out whose per mis sion in writ ing no per for mance of it may be given. Roy alty must be paid ev ery time a play is per formed whether or not it is pre sented for profit and whether or not ad mis sion is charged. A play is per formed any time it is acted be fore an au di ence. Cur rent roy alty rates, ap pli ca tions and re stric tions may be found at our website: www.dramaticpublishing.com, or we may be con tacted by mail at: DRA MATIC PUB LISH ING COM - PANY, 311 Wash ing ton St., Woodstock IL 60098. COPY RIGHT LAW GIVES THE AU THOR OR THE AU THOR S AGENT THE EX CLU SIVE RIGHT TO MAKE COP IES. This law pro - vides au thors with a fair re turn for their cre ative ef forts. Au thors earn their liv ing from the roy al ties they re ceive from book sales and from the per for mance of their work. Con sci en tious ob ser vance of copy right law is not only eth i cal, it en cour ages au thors to con tinue their cre ative work. This work is fully pro tected by copy right. No al ter ations, de le tions or sub sti tu tions may be made in the work with out the prior writ ten con sent of the pub lisher. No part of this work may be re pro duced or trans mit ted in any form or by any means, elec tronic or me chan i cal, in clud ing pho to - copy, re cord ing, vid eo tape, film, or any in for ma tion stor age and re trieval sys tem, with out per mis sion in writ ing from the pub lisher. It may not be per formed ei ther by pro fes sion als or am a teurs with out pay ment of roy - alty. All rights, in clud ing, but not lim ited to, the pro fes sional, mo tion pic - ture, ra dio, tele vi sion, vid eo tape, for eign lan guage, tab loid, rec i ta tion, lec tur ing, pub li ca tion and read ing, are re served. For per for mance of any songs, mu sic and re cord ings men tioned in this play which are in copy right, the per mis sion of the copy right own ers must be ob tained or other songs and re cord ings in the pub lic do main sub sti tuted. MMX by JULIE JENSEN Printed in the United States of Amer ica All Rights Re served (THE HARVEY GIRLS) For in qui ries con cern ing all other rights, con tact: The Su san Gurman Agency, 245 W. 99th St., 24th Floor, New York NY 10025 Phone: (212) 794-4618 ISBN: 978-1-58342-684-5
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AC KNOWL EDG MENTS: This play was de vel oped through im pro vi sa tion with a gifted group of ac tors: Amir Abdullah (who created Pillage and Godlee) Joseph Barone (who created Longtree and Glitterman) Nakeisha Daniel (who created Whistle and Armed Woman) Robert Henry (who created Swamp and Mary) Nathan James (who created Shudder and Bachmann) Lara Knox (who created Mecham and Effie) Nick Reynolds (who created Stella and Raul) I am greatly in debted to them, as I am to their di rec tor, Su - san Rus sell, and their pro gram chair, Jane Ridley. All of them were gen er ous and tal ented. I am grat i fied to have worked with them all. Julie Jensen, play wright March 2010 4
THE HARVEY GIRLS CHAR AC TERS: The Res tau rant Staff: EFFIE...a young woman prone to gig gling and our guide for the day WHIS TLE...a young na tive woman MARY...a ner vous and obe di ent woman who is blad der chal lenged, 20s MECHAM...the su per vi sor, an of fi cious woman in her 40s, prone to or a tory RAUL...a young Mex i can kid BACHMANN....a Ger man chef in charge of, well, ev ery thing The Cit i zens of the Town: STELLA...a young run away with a book GLITTERMAN...a clean-faced miner, stu di ous-look ing, wears glasses GODLEE...a re li gious zealot, who loves to preach SWAMP...a Texan and a fast-talk ing shy ster PIL LAGE....a one-armed, black Civil War vet, quiet, de lib er ate and threat en ing, with a habit of fix ing peo ple with a stare 5
LONGTREE....a re tired ac tress, with large amounts of af fec ta tion SHUD DER...a sheep herder, wary, sus pi cious ARMED WOMAN...an armed ban dit, pretty, se duc tive, short-tem pered SET TING: The din ing room in an up scale res tau rant of the late l890s, spe cif i cally a Harvey House in Las Ve gas, New Mex ico. STYLE: This play is a com edy/sat ire; it is meant to be some what ex ag ger ated and to move briskly. Think Molière with a touch of the Coen broth ers. 6
THE HARVEY GIRLS Scene One: In the dark we hear the sound of a busy res tau rant. Peo - ple talk ing, dishes clat ter ing. Then the sound of a whis - tle fol lowed by the sound of the crowd dis pers ing. When the noise dies out, the lights come up on an up - scale res tau rant of the late l890s, spe cif i cally a Harvey House in Las Ve gas, New Mex ico. The place is in to tal dis ar ray. A hun dred peo ple have just been fed here. Three wait resses in uni forms: WHIS TLE, MARY and EFFIE, are all clean ing up. MECHAM su per vises. Off in the cor ner is STELLA, a young run away. When no one is look ing, she darts to an empty ta ble, takes food, then re turns to her ta ble, eat ing hun grily. Also left af ter the ex it ing horde is GLITTERMAN, a miner, in tently eat ing. GODLEE, a re li gious zealot, is on his way in to the res - tau rant. Note: Un der lined di a logue in di cates di rect ad dress to the au di ence. 7
8 THE HARVEY GIRLS GODLEE. Hear me now. Hear, broth ers and sis ters. Re pent be fore it is too late. The end of the world is nigh. It comes to night. MECHAM. Out of here, Mr. Godlee. We can not have you preach ing in the Harvey House. GODLEE. Have you re pented, dear sis ter? MECHAM. I have not, Mr. Godlee. Now get on out of here. GODLEE. The end of the world is nigh. It co mes to night. MECHAM. We know that, Mr. Godlee. Now out. GODLEE. Let me speak to your girls. They must be saved. MECHAM (overly ar tic u lated). Ooouuuttt! Nnnooowww! GODLEE. That armed woman is out and about. Could spell the end of us all. MECHAM. Hush now, Godlee, and go chase some one else. (GODLEE leaves, chas ing some one else down the street.) GODLEE (call ing. Off). Re pent, dear sis ter. The end of the world is nigh, it co mes to night. EFFIE. This here s what s left. We just fed a hun dred peo - ple in less than thirty min utes. Which we do four times a day. Two trains east bound. Two trains west bound. Everday. It s like a wave co mes in, washes over us all. Then the wave goes out and leaves what you see be fore you. The wretched ref uge of the teem ing shore. Course, we had Teddy Roo se velt in here last week. He s rais ing up a army to go to Cuba so s they can re mem ber the Maine We get lots of fa mous peo ple come in here off the trains. That s why we got these here jobs, take care of
THE HARVEY GIRLS 9 the fa mous peo ple with style. (Mov ing to the cash reg is - ter.) But this here s just a or di nary day, no body fa mous. I mean, I picked this day cuz it would be so or di nary. And then it turned out to be not or di nary a-tall. Be cause last night the west bound Eight-Thirty-Eight was robbed by a band of out laws. And they was a woman with em got her horse shot out from un der her. So she s left be - hind and she s lurk ing here in town. But we ain t s posed to talk about her. Might alarm the cus tom ers. MARY. I ll take care of the re ceipts to day, Effie. EFFIE. It s my turn, Mary. Check the duty roster. MARY. But I thought I might help you out. EFFIE. This here s Mary. She don t got no faults. MARY. I am better with num bers, as you know. No fault of your own, but I have a better ed u ca tion. EFFIE. I think I can man age, Mary. I can al ways count on my fin gers and toes. And that adds up to twenty-five. MARY. One of us should be as signed the per ma nent job of han dling the re ceipts, that s what I think. EFFIE. But Miss Mecham thinks it s im por tant that each and ev ery one of us in our turn deal with the re ceipts, ain t that right, Miss Mecham? MECHAM. Know ing how to do sums and how to make change are most valu able as sets for the mod ern young woman. MARY. I take your point, Miss Mecham. EFFIE. I tell you, if Miss Mary was any more per fect, she would as cend un al tered into heaven. (SWAMP, a fast-talk ing shy ster, en ters from the out side.)
10 THE HARVEY GIRLS SWAMP. Sweet Effie from Kan sas. How s the fel low? He get here yet? EFFIE (gig gles). Not yet, Mr. Swamp. But he will be com - ing. (Gig gles.) He could be on the very next train. SWAMP. Of course he could. Blind faith is the most im - por tant at trib ute of the hu man spe cies. EFFIE. Now, this here s Swamp. Mostly he likes to sell stuff to dudes off the trains, peo ple with suits and shiny shoes. (SWAMP sur veys the room and moves up to GLITTER - MAN s ta ble.) SWAMP. Would you mind a lit tle com pany, Mr. Glitter - man? GLITTERMAN. The name is Lukas, Wendell. (SWAMP sits. Watches GLITTERMAN eat.) SWAMP. What you make of the armed woman in town? GLITTERMAN. Not a damn thing. SWAMP. She s sighted this morn ing. Be hind the Plaza Ho - tel. Had a ri fle, two pis tols, and a hat. GLITTERMAN. A hat? SWAMP. For pur poses of dis guise. I think it could be Big Nose Kate. GLITTERMAN Who s Big Nose Kate? SWAMP. Doc Holliday s woman. GLITTERMAN. Doc Holliday s dead. SWAMP. That don t mean his woman is. (GLITTERMAN shrugs and con tin ues to eat. SWAMP watches him.
THE HARVEY GIRLS 11 Pause.) So what s new in the min ing busi ness, Mr. Glitterman? GLITTERMAN. Iden ti fy ing the ma jor strata of the earth s crust, and then seek ing that stra tum which pre dict ably con tains valu able de pos its. SWAMP. And which stra tum is that? GLITTERMAN. The subcrustacean stra tum, laid down in the Early Pre cam brian era. SWAMP. You don t say GLITTERMAN. The or ganic ma te rial which was a part of the an te di lu vian fans at the edge of the an cient seas, de - pos ited next to the volcanic ig ne ous, those con tain the primary el e ments. SWAMP. Vol ca nic ig ne ous? GLITTERMAN. Slowly ad vanc ing and re ced ing in land seas and shore lines, an cient me an der ing sub ter ra nean es - tu ar ies, huge for ested river planes, and wan der ing an te - di lu vian bog wa ters. EFFIE (to WHIS TLE). Don t you just love the way he talks? Wan der ing an te di lu vian bog wa ters. That there is pure po etry with a cap i tal P-P. (The ARMED WOMAN, a ban dit, flits by. MARY screams and clamps her legs to gether. Each time she is fright ened or ner vous, she has to pee.) MARY (point ing). I just saw her. The armed woman. I just saw her. EFFIE. Quiet, Mary. You re sup posed to set an ex am ple. MARY. But I saw her. With a gun and a hat. Went right by that win dow.
12 THE HARVEY GIRLS (PIL LAGE, a Civil War vet, slowly walks in.) WHISTLE. Wel come to Harvey House. Would you like to see a menu? PILLAGE. A menu yes. WHIS TLE (hands him a menu). What could I bring you? PILLAGE. What s your fa vor ite here? WHIS TLE (turn ing his menu right-side up). Num ber Six, that s my fa vor ite. PILLAGE. I ll have Num ber Six. Does that come with ba con? WHISTLE. Any thing co mes with any thing. You want ba - con with ice chips, we give it to you. PILLAGE. Num ber Six and ba con. WHISTLE. Yes, sir. (Mov ing away.) EFFIE. This here s Whis tle. She s a In dian, a real In dian. Used to work in the kitchen on the salad ta ble. Now she s out here cuz we was short. WHIS TLE. That s how they like to in tro duce me. In dian, real In dian. That there s Effie, white, real white. PIL LAGE. Ex cuse me, Miss I ll have some thing else. WHISTLE. What s that? PILLAGE. I ll have your name. WHISTLE. I can t give you that. It s against the rules. PILLAGE. What rules? WHIS TLE. Harvey House rules. (She moves away.) MECHAM. The cleanup is slow to day, girls. (Clap ping.) Let s step it up! MARY. You re so right, Miss Mecham. The staff has been gos sip ing about the armed woman.
THE HARVEY GIRLS 13 MECHAM. There is to be no dis cus sion of the armed woman. She will go about her busi ness, and you will go about yours. EFFIE. But her busi ness is kill ing peo ple. MECHAM. Step up with cour age, girls. You are Harvey Girls. You re spond with com po sure and con fi dence. Think on Teddy Roo se velt when you re chal lenged. MARY. I couldn t agree with you more, Miss Mecham. I ll tell the oth ers. MECHAM. I want to see brisk work, and then you ll re - ceive your re ward this eve ning. The build ing of the lovely blos som bou quet. MARY. Thank you, Miss Mecham, we ap pre ci ate all you do for us. MECHAM. Now then, girls, there is a new woman in town be sides the armed woman Miss Lydia Longtree. The ac tress from New York. She is to be an ex am ple unto you all. Un mar ried, pro fes sional and pas sion ate. MARY. Just like you, Miss Mecham. MECHAM. Yes, girls, I too am a pas sion ate woman. Pas - sion ate about my work. That is why I am so good at it. EFFIE. This here s our first les son of the day, com ing right up. MECHAM. If we ap proach all we do with pas sion, we will look back at the end of our lives and say, I ac com - plished some thing. EFFIE. So, Miss Mecham, what if what we ac com plish is get ting mar ried and hav ing a pack of chil dren? MECHAM. Any one can ac com plish that, Miss Effington. It does not take brains to get mar ried and have chil dren. We are pro fes sion als, we are Harvey Girls, we have loft - ier goals.
14 THE HARVEY GIRLS MARY. I do so agree with you, Miss Mecham. But I have no ticed that peo ple re sent you when you have lofty goals. EFFIE. It ain t your lofty goals they re sent you for, Miss Mary, it s your lofty at ti tude. MECHAM. Re mem ber this, girls: The woman who has chil dren. She has noth ing to call her own. She is down - trod den and be reft. The woman who does best in this world has no chil dren. Re mem ber that. (The ARMED WOMAN flits by again. STELLA sees her, jumps up and watches, re turns to her seat, says noth ing.) SWAMP. Lis ten here, I got a prop o si tion for you, Mr. Glitterman. GLITTERMAN. Oh hell, Wendell. SWAMP. No, now lis ten to me. You are a man of sci ence. A man who un der stands the prop er ties of the earth. A man who be lieves in his power to de ter mine his own fu - ture. I am also such a man. GLITTERMAN Good for you. SWAMP. And I be lieve in the fu ture of this area. There will be towns dot ting the whole length of the Santa Fe Rail road, like lit tle stars in the night sky, like jew els on the crown of the Queen of Eng land. It s go ing be a beau ti ful thing. GLITTERMAN. I m sure it is, Wendell. SWAMP. Here s the idea, Mr. Glitterman. We buy up the land all along this rail line. GLITTERMAN. We?
THE HARVEY GIRLS 15 SWAMP. Yes, we! I m in vit ing you in on this. We buy up the land along the rail line. And then when the towns sprout up, we agree, re luc tantly, to sell the new peo ple the land they need. A prop o si tion as sci en tific as it is prac ti cal. What do you say, Mr. Glitterman? GLITTERMAN. Why don t you get your self a job, Wendell? SWAMP. I have a job, Lukas. GLITTERMAN. No you don t. SWAMP. I am a sales man and a vi sion ary. GLITTERMAN. Sell ing stuff you don t own. And see ing things that ain t there. SWAMP. I m glimps ing the fu ture. That s what I do. GLITTERMAN. And that s an other thing, Wendell. Don t talk like that. You sound like a lay ing hen. SWAMP. I tell you what I ll do, Mr. Glitterman. I ll draw up the pa pers and then, when you make your strike, you and me will go into a joint part ner ship. The Swamp Glitterman Land Com pany. What do you say to that, Mr. Glitterman? (GLITTERMAN burps, rises, tosses a coin on the ta ble, then moves to the cash reg is ter.) SWAMP (calling af ter him). Plea sure talk ing to you, Mr. Glitterman. And I ll have my as sis tant draw up them pa - pers. (GLITTERMAN is out the door. SWAMP looks around, slides the coin off the ta ble, pock ets it.
16 THE HARVEY GIRLS WHIS TLE en ters and sets the food down in front of PIL - LAGE.) PIL LAGE Thank you. WHISTLE. Is there any thing else? PIL LAGE (stares at her. Pause). Could you but ter my roll? (She does. Pause.) Wanna know some thing? (Pause.) I am gonna marry you. (WHIS TLE moves to EFFIE at the cash reg is ter.) WHISTLE. You gotta take care of that ta ble with the onea rm e d m a n. He s g iv in g me tro u b le. EFFIE. He could have some thing to do with the armed woman. Ever-thing co mes out his mouth is scary. WHISTLE. Just take care of him. EFFIE. Whis tle, she is a mag net for men. They all want to get theyself some piece of that girl. In the mean time, Swamp s try ing to get a coin from the scary guy. And that s when the mud hits the win dow. (SWAMP rises and moves over to PIL LAGE.) SWAMP. I do be lieve you re new around here. PIL LAGE (jump ing up). Sir. SWAMP. The name s Swamp. Mind if I join you? (Tak ing a seat.) And you are? PILLAGE. Pil lage. The name s Pil lage. (Sit ting back down ten ta tively.) SWAMP. And where did you come from, Mr. Pil lage? PIL LAGE (pause). The South. I come from the South. SWAMP. And you lost that arm in the war?