The Christmas Skit Message: The school Christmas program is off because there is no one to run it, so the most unlikely parent around plans and stages the Christmas drama, and learns a great deal in the process. Bible Reference: Luke 2 The birth of Jesus Cast: Mom, Florence Padfield, pleasant, quieter lady Pop, Brian Padfield, a very self-assured, loud man Bev Padfield, daughter, teen Donnie Padfield, son, pre-teen Deanna Samson, Bev s friend, teen Stephen Brown, teen nerd, (could be female) Connie Smythe, ( y pronounced as long I ), School secretary, early 20 s Jeannie Franklin, principal as many others as available NOTE: actors in the various segments may include the actors above, or may be entirely different actors, depending on availability Puppet Christmas Carol segment Speaking cast: Chris Patti Human Puppets, non-speaking cast Oleander P. Q. R. Scrooge Macob Jarley Bob Scratchit Mrs. Scratchit Belinda Scratchit Peter Scratchit Martha Scratchit Tony Tom Scratchit See individual segments Set Act I & III: Family living room. Usual chairs, table. An unseen TV is located downstage in the audience Set Act II: Principal s office at school. Two desks and chairs The Christmas Skit Page 1
Set Act IV: Props: Costumes: School Gymnasium. There may be backdrops of basketball hoops and other equipment / decorations normally seen in a school gymnasium chairs, tables, desks, dust cloth, TV remote, computer, Bible, Sports Illustrated magazine Those roles showing Biblical characters may use either traditional or contemporary costumes. All other characters would use regular active wear clothing Lighting and Sound: This drama does not require any great amount of additional sound or lighting enhancement. Wireless mics would be useful, depending on availability and set limitations. A spotlight is required for the human video segments. Time: Script: 120 minutes Act I Padfield family living room Mom, Pop and Donnie are on stage, Pop and Donnie are totally engrossed in watching TV, Mom is dusting. Bev and Deanna come on stage, happy, laughing Deanna, as they come on stage: So I said, man, like there is not nothing can take the smile off my face today, not even seeing someone as nerdy as you Stephen Brown! Bev, laughing loudly: I know where you are coming from on that one Deanna! Hi Mom, hi Pop! Hey Squirt. Hello Mrs. Padfield, Mr. Padfield. Hi Ronnie. Well I must say, you two are in a good mood today! Someone get a hundred percent on their Computer Science exam? Way better than that! Yup! Zero percent on skit! Yahoo! Best thing to happen at school since Mrs. Yausie fried the deep fryer in Home Ec! The Christmas Skit Page 2
Bev, I have never figured out why it was that you hated your Home Ec class so much. Mom, it s not so much that I hate it, it s just that it is so boring... and needless. Why should we learn how to cook when you are never that far from McDonalds, no matter where you go? But I will say this much, I would spend twenty hours a day in Home Ec rather than have to do that skit thing again this Christmas! Me too! All I can say is thank goodness for diseases! What are you guys talking about... skits... diseases, what s going on? Bev and Deanna sing together to tune of Jingle Bells, dancing as in chorus line Bev and It's so nice, it's a slice We won't have to hear Let it snow and ho ho ho Ringing in our ears I m so glad, I m not sad To hear that skit is off The nicest sound we ve heard around Is Mrs. England s cough! Would you too keep it down, I m trying to listen to some important TV here! Yeah, how s a guy supposed to hear the TV around here? Oh Pop, it's just Everybody Loves Raymond reruns! And Ronnie, don t you have anything better to do than watch old TV shows? Pop and Ronnie go on watching TV, no reaction to Bev OK, girls, now exactly what's going on with this whole thing here? Oh mom, it is simply wonderful! Mrs. England has some rare disease that will keep her away from school until after Christmas! Bev and Deanna high five Girls! What a terrible thing to say! Poor Mrs. England! And I thought you liked Mrs. England, I thought she was one of your favourite teachers at school? The Christmas Skit Page 3
Of course we like Mrs. England, and no one likes to see her getting sick and all. It s just that if she did have to get sick, thank goodness it would happen before Christmas, before rehearsals started. Ronnie and Pop laugh loudly That Frank Barone, he is some card! Yeah Pop! Some card is right! Ronnie and Pop high five Brian, I am not really comfortable with Ronnie watching that show. And what s wrong with Raymond? Yeh, Mom, like they say, (mimic TV s Robert Barone), Everybody Loves Raymond! Listen up you guys, this here is a really funny part here. Isn t this the one where Marie throws Debra s supper in the garbage? Hush up, listen, I don t want to miss this part! Pop and Ronnie go back to watching TV, ignoring all else going on Now about Mrs. England? Well, Mrs. England is always in charge of the school Christmas concert. Yeh, and for whatever reason everyone has to be in the silly skit every Christmas. I mean, I don t even want to be in some dumb skit! Let s face it, nobody does... well, except nerdy Stephen Brown, not that Stephen Brown s opinion counts for anything. Stephen Brown thinks being in a skit is like exciting! Stephen Brown thinks watching paint dry is exciting. Well, with Mrs. England gone who is going to look after the Christmas program? That s the whole point, no one is, the Christmas program is being cancelled. The Christmas Skit Page 4
Pop, turns off the TV with remote: I gotta say, that was some first class TV! First class all the way is what, Pop! Mom, shocked: The Christmas program is cancelled? What Christmas program is this you are talking about? The girls just told me that the school Christmas program was cancelled. Pop, irate: What s this? What s next? Teachers around here have been getting it easier all the time, now they are gonna duck out on Christmas? Seems like you should be doing something about this Pop, what with all the taxes you pay and all! Cool it Squirt, cancelling the Christmas skit is a good thing! That s easy for you to say big sister, but fact is that it s Pop that pays the taxes around here I will have you know! Bev, very firmly: Donnie Padfield, I suggest you back off on that, or I am going to severely hurt you. Now understand this, you are a child, an infant, you have no idea what you are saying. Be still, say no more! Now, Bev, just you hold up on that, the kid makes a good point there. Every time I turn around seems like City Hall has their hands in my wallet, taxes for this, taxes for that. I m with Donnie on this one, for sure. Donnie, proud of himself, clears throat: Guess us men showed you guys what's what. I have a good notion, first thing tomorrow morning, take me down to that school, have a chat with your principal is what I just might do. We shall see why they are about to cancel Christmas this year. They are really not cancelling Christmas, Pop, it's only a Christmas skit! It s the principal of the thing, right Pop? Exactly! Principal of the thing. Like I say, first thing tomorrow morning I just might go, get me some answers. Speaking of principal, what's the name of your principal down there at your school? The Christmas Skit Page 5