PRAIRIE SONG WITH JACK PALANCE

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Transcription:

PRAIRIE SONG WITH JACK PALANCE Enough times now I ve dropped the blade of love in the lake, thumb scrambling moon on the surface to find again the hilt, and catch there. It s very dark here, and my palms come up slashed faintly with language I can t read until I ve made the fire. Then I see it all: summer mornings spanning out impossibly the shape your back left in the dust on the table how an angel wades into water to keep his wings dry and that name, like the light of the moon on a coyote s coat. Someone s hand still hovers above the holstered butt of midnight. Little rivulets through red clay forming a continent of blood. How I crossed the plains for you, for your clothes like cottonwoods, for this cliff of squint. Men die in just a little less air than this, a little less breath. I get a feeling that comes out of the clouds on a ghost with veins and reins to wrap its hands. I know what I m entitled to, it s this vision I keep past stars of a cowboy name. At times it whistles through the canyons. 19

INFLORESCENCE I don t know what s happening in the north woods but passion its black fruit you pluck and crawl inside, feeling in its clutch the power one day meant to sing and flower inside of your face like a klaxon. At any rate, I didn t ring it. Have you ever felt so close to someone you reached for the place where your thumb would press to peel back their skin? Around the table moralities gather. I ll stay here thank you I am staying here thank you. Among trees you never release yourself. You just stay by the water, ghostly plea, quick glance at the moss. It becomes slowly clear you haven t yet found anything you like. Other things becoming clear. All day you walk ten feet in front of you and the human brain is only a conversation. The human brain is only a conversation try something different for a change. Someone s cold lungs are speaking to me directly now. Somebody s feet gather together to form a sudden cliff. Every firstborn child named precipice. I say crawl inside you, and crawl inside you. 24

STRENGTH Perfection is terrible, it cannot have children. sylvia plath Mostly it goes and then it goes farther away. A car leaving town down a dirt road. Remainders in the glib afternoon: silt of wine still in the glass, or echoes of summer motion in curtains you can see through. Motion brought about by nothing but the wind. Soon it billows out to months where the night rises like a fence in the distance, then not the distance, then nearer and the questions keep coming back. Something half-heard in sleep about the hands, about the lion s jaws. Wake up wondering after love which way gets you back to the house alone. Which lie to believe. Outside some neighbors laugh, children laugh, soon they ll be your neighbors. Vessel passing further. Rush of recalled fire. This is what self-control becomes 32

we are holding the lion before we want to hold the lion, and after, and every moment in between is unexplained and horrible. There is nothing quite so alien as being correct. Her body rising from the bed, now leaving the bed, now far away in another country. Watch yourself grow muscle in your failures and hate it. Warbler mindless jumping branch to branch. Miles Davis that was it. Near the end of his life he played new songs every night, harsh ones no one wanted. Haze and copper. Neon. Fuzz, or bramble. People came only for the legend. One night he got onstage sick enough to not know where he was. He counted off and started to play but it was My Funny Valentine. And then I Thought About You. And the audience was ecstatic, hearing what they wanted. After, a young piano player peered into his dressing room, found him hunched before the mirror. Miles looked up. Kid, you know why I never play those songs no matter how much anyone asks for them? He paused, looking wide at the ceiling 33

like there was something to prepare for, someone still to fight. It s because I love those songs. 34

TRACING I know what it was: your body stretched before me like a fence keeping its shiver and creak, something incredible as if the forest I grew up beside but could never touch were, when I blow cool air over my memory, stippled with fine hairs that stand on end in a shock of pine. 36