The Black Book Series: The Lost Art of Magical Charisma (The Unreleased Volume: Beyond The 4 Ingredients)

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Transcription:

The Black Book Series: The Lost Art of Magical Charisma (The Unreleased Volume: Beyond The 4 Ingredients)

A few years ago I created a report called Super Charisma. It was based on common traits that I saw in people who were Extremely Charismatic. Engaging with others Being fun/having a sense of humor Confident Compassionate These people included my famous people, great achievers and people I knew. Although I never put it in these words, I felt compelled to create the book and in a weird unexplainable way, I felt like I was the perfect person to create a report like that. Not in an egotistical way but rather being someone who experienced feeling of magically charismatic and at times feeling cursed So when I look for key common traits of charisma I was also able to identify with the perspective of feeling magically charismatic. Similarly, when I examined anti-charismatic people (these are people who most people avoid - even though they can t explain it), I was also able to identify with that. These are people who are extremely lacking in the 4-ingredient formula. More importantly, the fact that I ve consistently been on both extremes was proof that a person could change. In my case, I would go from being magically charismatic (without trying or realizing it) to anti-charimatic back to charismatic then back to anti-charimatic. It s kind of like someone who loses weight - gains it back - loses it again - gains it back Which is a great example, because just like anything in life your results are a product of your decisions. We typically think of decisions as being action-based, but the FUEL that determines your results is often based on internal-decisions such as: How you decide to perceive yourself. How you decide to perceive others. How you decide to perceive a process. How you decide to perceive a situation. How you decide to perceive your environment.

In terms of the formula. Engaging with others Being fun/having a sense of humor Confident Compassionate.how you arrive there is a factor! For example, you hear a lot of people discussing ways to increase your confidence. I think what s more important is knowing what type of confidence you want to have. That s why we have to label it as types of confidence because not everyone shares the same definition. To me, REAL confidence is where you feel simultaneously amazing about yourself and others (as the most general way of putting it)> So with REAL confidence it s impossible to feel confident while seeing others as inferior (or lacking the potential to be amazing) Now that may appear contradictory for some people. And the first thing that may come to mind is well it s impossible to feel simultaneously amazing about yourself and others.because if everyone is on the same playing field than where s the distinction. Again, it comes back to that whole thing of how people are defining confidence. I think for most people, confidence is synonymous with feeling (intrinsically) better than everyone...or most people. It s for that reason, I tend to use the word confidence interchangeably with feeling amazing about yourself. For example, a person can decide to feel more amazing about himself just by making the decision to focus MORE on the amazing things that he s done and LESS on things that make him feel like a failure. You see, if you define confidence (even if it s subtly in the background of your thoughts) as being superior to others then it becomes challenging to acknowledge someone else as being confidence. In fact, if you were faced with having to acknowledge observable traits (i.e. the person is really confident and feels great about himself) you would be more likely to behave like a hater and try to tear the guy down in some way. You would nitpick. (Have you ever seen this behavior before? Of course, you have!) You would find faults. You would get

emotional. You would.[[dramatic pause]] in essence behave like someone who was insecure.someone without confidence. I never use the word alpha male. I understand that many people do. I understand why people are doing it. In other words, I get it There really isn t a problem with wanting to be an alpha male. or the alpha male There s nothing wrong with using the word alpha male There only problem is with how some people process it. It often causes people to focus too much on what other guys are doing because by default it s a comparative label that s linked to success. So it s soooooo easy to accidently end up wondering if a guy is more ALPHA that you. And then linking that with an observation of success (i.e. He got the girl because he was more alpha.) It s the reason why there s somewhat of an epidemic of guys obsessing over aspects that don t really matter. Why waste time worrying about what other people are doing? If you re in a room full of guys and girls, why spend a second of your time/energy evaluating the guys? Imagine seeing a guy walk into a building and the first thing he does is sizes up the competition. He walks over to a woman with the internal strategy of trying to be the best -- or rather DEMONSTRATE that he is the TOP DOG. Guess what? He s already lost. There s a difference between trying to win a woman that you know nothing about. This is all I ll say about this for now. This is totally different topic. I just want to make the distinction between the different type of confidence and how to structure it the right way. It s the reason why compassion for others is part of the formula because it forces the person to operate with what I tend to label as REAL Confidence

As a side note: In most cases, I purposely avoid labeling my belief about how to do something as being the REAL way, but I feel it s okay to do in this situation because the other types of confidence tend to be the opposite of that But whether it s labeled as the REAL way or a different way doesn t matter. What matters is understanding this distinction. With that said, let s talk about this new way of achieving charisma. It s somewhat of an extension to the 4 part formula and yet it s also a short-cut, a sequel and alternative way of having charisma - all wrapped up in one. And it was discovered by accident - meaning I was doing something for the purpose of trying to achieve something else and the BY PRODUCT was a noticeable increase in charisma ( people attraction, massive likeability ) Let s talk about what I did and how you can do the same thing to increase charisma. It always works. You couldn t get it to fail if you wanted to. And the good news is you don t have to fully understand what s going on. Although I ll talk about some reasons why it works so great, technically I m not even going to scratch the surface to what is possibly making it work so great. The thing about it is this process can be done in a very short amount of time. And you can SEE IT work for yourself without EVER knowing what is really going on... Let s talk about what I did Recently, I went through a brain process that has consistently worked great for me in terms of getting me motivated and feeling confident. It can be thought of as self-hypnosis in the sense that it REWIRES your brain. In other words, it changes your urges/beliefs in a reliable way. Well this time, I decided to make a little tweak and combine/leverage a series of systems that worked great for me. It was more like an experiment.

The objective was to be more motivated and feel massively confident! I decided to write the following on a piece of paper: [A statement that made me feel great about myself] - to achieve a massive amount of confidence. (1/4 of the Charisma Formula) [A statement that reminded me of a time when I had extreme work ethic] - to achieve the feeling (and program) that I can do anything I put my mind to. So it was pretty much a mixture of self-perception Driven Persuasion mixed with Unconscious Conditioning. So I wrote out the 2 statements and made sure they were perfect. In other words, the objective was to write out the statement a bunch of times. However, if it s a weak statement, the impact wouldn t be that strong. So it would have to be a statement that has the strength of a powerful motivational quote -- something that when you read it, it CHARGES you up! It was important that I found a sentence that when I read it, it really made me feel amazing about myself. It was also important for me to create another sentence that when I read it (or thought about it), it made me feel like I had insane work ethic. I found two statements. (I believe that goals are personal so I won t mention it, besides the statement that works for me is not going to be the same as the statement that works for someone else.) Then I decided to write both statements out 50 times! This was NOT a 5 minute project. And while writing it, I focused on the feeling. Then after writing it I said it 50 times while really focusing on the feeling. After I was done, to say I felt like a new person would be an understatement. The process was a little boring in the beginning. And I had to overcome I would say about 5 comfort zone breaks

This is where true growth takes place. It s kind of like when you re working out. Your muscles only really get stronger because you ve pushed them past their limit. You have to PUSH past your comfort zone. If you lift weights and you stopped at the first sign of struggle, it would take forever to get stronger. However if you grind past the comfort zone and really PUSH yourself, you re telling your body that it s needs to prepare itself to handle this sort of tension in the future. As a result of the struggle, grinding, and pushing past the comfort zone you get stronger! Years ago I was working out with a close friend. We ve known each other for years, but this was the first time we decided to work out together. While we were at the gym he started complaining about how he s been working out for months and yet he hasn t noticed a difference in his body (and strength). When we worked out together, I began to understood why. The moment the weights got slightly tough, he would stop. I told him that when it starts to get really tough, that s technically when the real workout begins. He was stopping well before he got to the REAL workout. No wonder he wasn t making changes! This same approach applies to conditioning a new behavior via repetitive writing. This is old-school stuff though that is somewhat of a lost art. My reason to this is based on several things. (1) Reading several articles from respected sources that explained the effect this has on SEVERAL parts of the brain. (2) One day, as a way of punishing my son I made him write a statement over and over again on several sheets of paper. It was meant to be boring while exposing him to the correct way of behaving. After he was done, I immediately noticed how different (in a very refreshingly pleasant way) he was. Children can charismatic or anti-charismatic - just like adults. So those are the main 2 reasons why I decided to use the writing approach. Let s fact it It s pretty easy to motivate most people, because all you have to do is FEED THEIR MINDS something useful to focus on - much better than what they re currently doing.

The only problem is if the CONTENT of your message isn t engrained - or programmed deeply - they would have to rely on you to keep feeding their brains the information several times a day because their comfort zone hasn t been calibrated. It s kind of like if you told someone that the Code was: 5y991.33 If they look at it for a minute, they would probably remember it. However, a few hours later, the information is gone from their brains. Imagine if the person wrote it out on a sheet of paper 50 times! Without out a doubt, they would remember it a whole lot longer. It would have been engrained into their unconscious mind - and if there was some sort of GOOD FEELING attached to it, it would really sink in. So, that s the extremely short version of why it s important to write out something 50 times! It s more efficient to go through life having your unconscious mind and conscious mind working together. So when I went through this process I had to make about 5 comfort zone breaks!!! So what does that mean? It means while I was writing I got to a point where I FELT (this is an unconscious feedback signal) that this was dumb and that I ve done enough already The thought popped in my head okay I ve done 10 that should be good enough to engrain the message, but I broke though it. I didn t stop at 10. Had I stopped then, it would have be the equivalent of my friend s weird way of working out where he avoids struggling. The real stuff happens AFTER the struggle! The second comfort zone break took place around the 20th writing, it was the FEELING that it s okay to stop once I get to 25 and then do the other 25 later in the day. But I didn t stop at 25. I broke through it and continued until I got to 50!

And you know that you ve done it right because after that last one you feel pumped! You ll feel incredible! There are no shortcuts to this feeling! Even if you re form was perfect, 10 push ups doesn t impact you the way that 50 push ups do! So after I did the 50 writing I felt incredible! I ve done it before it never gets old. It always works! This time, I was more cognizant of a particular side effect - and that a noticeable (charismatic) reaction by wife and everyone else. It can be somewhat hard to explain, but it s subtle and yet extremely obvious at the same time. In other words, you notice subtle differences in how everyone reacts to you, and the frequency of these subtle observations are so dramatically increased that it s obvious. It feels like MAGIC in a sense. You see, people are intuitive (consciously and unconsciously) to certain body language shifts, voice tone fluctuations and even energy It may sound crazy but it works in both directions. There are times when you meet someone who (regardless of how friendly he/she is trying to be) you just rather avoid them. That s anti-charisma. You may have been there before, you know what it feels like - and if you don t address it, it can drag on for years - along with the feeling that you ll always be that way The best way (according to what I believe) to address it - is to conceptualize the process as re-calibrating your energy If you know anything about quantum theory then you realize that it s more than a metaphor... The interesting thing about ways to tell if you re extremely anti-charismatic is the percentage of people you try to avoid.

After awhile, it feels natural. For example, you may notice that 95% of people annoy you! Well, chances are it s you. Those same 95% aren t too thrilled about you as well. In my case - prior to doing the 50 - I wasn t feeling anti-charismatic. I was just feeling a bit off Remember, I was doing it for the purpose of increasing charisma, it just happened as a by product. Also, what I did was technically just a partial charismatic technique. That s the exciting part, actually. This new formula is an extended version! The idea is to create 4 statements. Statement #1: A statement about what makes you amazing (i.e. something that sums up everything. It s okay if it s a several sentences. Just as long as when you read it you really feel like the man.) Statement #2: A statement about why you love everyone or why people are amazing. Statement #3: A statement/joke that makes you laugh or a statement/quote that talks about why it s good to just have fun in life. Statement #4: A statement that reminds you of the importance of connection with love ones and strangers. That s it, you can write out 50 times or you can write it 100 times. The minimum is 50. I ve done this variation before where I wrote out a paragraph (yes a paragraph) over 100 times (twice). It wasn t a 5 minute project. lol. However, it was worth every second! To appreciate this, it goes back to an example I ve used a few times. And you may recognize it, but if you imagined being in a room where everyone (hundreds

of people truly loved you, admired you, saw you as a hero) it would be an incredible feeling. If you were in another room filled with everyone hating you, being disgusted and shocked by a discovery of something they found out about you, being creeped out, it wouldn t be a pleasant feeling. That s because: We are human. We love pleasure. We re programmed to want approval on some level. We want to be seen as awesome. It s obvious that we would rather be in Room #1. So as an extra push, make it your goal to be a personified version of Room #1 with everyone you come in contact with. So there you go. If you have any questions, let me know. You WILL (with 100% certainty) find this to be worth every second of your time. I ve done my best to explain why it works, but you ll understand why it s called MAGICAL! And I say that because there s a difference between psyching yourself out into thinking that something is there (i.e. self cold-reading) and observing actual changes This is a result of a real change being made - you re ingraining information into your unconscious mind and on a neuroscience level, You Are RESHAPING [physical changes] YOUR BRAIN! Much Success! Warmly CR James crjames.com