JAMES Make Your Words Count 3:1-12 SERMON REFLECTION As you reflect on the sermon this Sunday, what are a couple key points that hit home with you? What new thoughts or convictions were triggered for you? GROUP INTERACTION INVITE What are some Bible verse, speeches, or quotes that you remember? What makes them stick with you? Tip: Try to get each person to share on this question. If they share on the opening questions they are more likely to share as we move through the rest of the study. Note: Most people know at least one or two Bible verses, movie quotes, or can remember part of a famous speech. Usually the reason we remember is because they have/had some affect on us when we read or heard them. Memorable movie quotes are those that make you laugh, cry, or touched off some other emotion. You had me at hello. Have fun storming the castle! Some people can remember most of the Freedom speech delivered by William Wallace in Braveheart. Verses are memorable if they helped you through a hard time, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. (1 Chronicles 28:20 TEXT - OBSERVE
The importance of our speech is evident in the time, and number of words, spent discussing it in the Bible. God thinks it is important, so it is important. The saying the tongue is mightier than the sword is as true today as in Biblical times. Words can encourage or dishearten, praise or condemn, build up or destroy. Words can show love or hate, can be truthful or deceitful, and can join people together or tear them apart. As a weapon, words are sharp, cutting, stabbing and deadly. James uses beautiful and explicit imagery as he discusses the tongue and its wide- range affects. James chose his words carefully as he counseled us to do the same. James Read James 3:1-12, Ephesians 4:29, and Luke 6:43-45 Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can t draw fresh water from a salty spring. Ephesians Don t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Luke A good tree can t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can t produce good fruit. A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a
good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart. EXPLORE How many times have you wished you could take something back that you ve said? Unfortunately, it s way to easy to come up with inappropriate comments, tactless remarks, or intentional, or unintentional, jabs that we regret. And while it may be tempting to write these off as slips of the tongue, they point to a bigger problem. We have the power to choose our words. Which means we have the power to bring both life, and destruction, to people. Choose carefully. What do you learn about the power of the tongue/words? In the first couple of verses James tells us that if we become teachers in church, teachers of the Bible, we will be judged more strictly. The words of a Bible teacher are important because they influence others in their faith. The words they choose must not just meet speech standards, but standards of truth and consistency with God s Word. Tip: In this passage James uses a lot of comparative descriptions, therefore, it is a good idea to not just read the words but briefly discuss their meaning: For instance, James compares our tongue to controlling a large horse with a small bit, or a huge ship with a small rudder. He says that our tongue is small thing that we use to make grand speeches. James is saying there is a lot of power behind that small thing, our tongue. Commentary: Some of the answers you are looking for are: From the James passage - Our tongues carry a lot of power It is a great feat to control our tongues - for if we could control our tongues we would be "perfect"! If we could control our tongues we could control everything A tongue is as powerful as a bit that controls a large horse A tongue is as powerful as a rudder that controls a huge ship - even in a storm A tongue makes grand speeches More powerful than a spark which can start a great forest fire It is a whole world of wickedness - corrupting your entire body The tongue can do huge damage - set your whole life on fire Sometimes controlled by hell itself Unable to be tamed The tongue is restless and evil - can kill From the Ephesians passage
Can be abusive Can be good and helpful Can be encouragement to others From the Luke passage: Words come from the heart Good and evil can both reside in the heart Good hearts produce good words, evil hearts produce evil words Good hearts cannot produce evil words, and evil hearts cannot produce good words When have you witnessed the destructive power of words? What effect did these words have? What about encouraging or positive words? Leader note Remember at this point you are keeping the discussion about others, not personalizing. Try to guide your group to examples they have seen where someone has said words that cause personal damage - demoralizing, destructive, critical, thoughtless or abusive. Then think of examples where you witnessed someone encouraging, affirming or praising others. Remember when you are talking about the negative side of this question, please refrain from using names. But when you are on the positive side, you can use names as affirmation. Commentary: You may have kids on a sports team and their parents yell at them, demoralizing them in public. Or a friend who speaks badly to his wife, or a boss who is always critical to another coworker. The results of the use of words in these cases and others like them are so damaging - oftentimes beyond the moment and into future aspects of their lives. Words can cut deep and the wounds are evident immediately and the scars can last forever. If you tell someone they are worthless, lazy, a disappointment - even in subtle ways - it can cause people to question their worth. Consider all of the damage that can be done. Then remember to look at the opposite side of the question - what are examples of people who use their words to encourage, affirm, praise, build up others? What are the results? When was a time someone used words to encourage you? What effect did these words have on you? Tip: Encourage your group to think of the recent past. However, if they have a specific time that jumps out to them from their childhood, don t shut that down either. The further back we go that we can remember someone s words and the effect they had on our life will demonstrate the point that words matter they stick with us good or bad. What situations or places tend to bring out the worst in people s tongue/words? The best? Tip: Make sure your group considers both sides of this question. Some situations or places that bring out the worst in people s language would be sports competitions, night clubs, college fraternities, high- pressure offices. Consider also lying, slandering, and gossiping as those are ways people use their tongues.
Some examples of places that bring out the best in people s language would be church, family gatherings, places where children are present. What situations or places in your life seem to bring out the worst in your tongue/words? Tip: Allow enough time for this question that each member of your group gets a chance to answer. As the leader you may want to share first. They should be able to think of areas where they have problems controlling their tongue harsh words in anger when their child gets into trouble, criticism of a coworker who disappoints, cursing in a competitive game of basketball or other sport, gossiping with friends. Tip: This may be very convicting for some of your group members and they may get emotional while they answer, encourage them as they share. You may want to say I know this is hard, we all struggle with our words and the damage they can do, thank you for being so honest with all of us. Where in your life could you use your tongue/words in a more positive way? What affect would this have? Tip: You may want to ask this question with the previous one. As someone shares a situation that they have trouble controlling their tongue you could ask what would change if you didn t respond with anger or hurtful words to your child but instead used your words in a positive way? or what if you didn t join in the gossip with your friends but instead changed the subject altogether, what would change? Let your group spend a minute discussing the affects of positive words that encourage, praise, show love, reveal their heart. What do our words say about us? Leader note: Have your group consider the colorful and descriptive words the passages use to indicate the root, or origin of our words. Have them support their answer by referring to a verse in the passages above. In James 3:6 he says the tongue can be set on fire by hell itself. And In verses 10-12 describes how bitter water would not come from a fresh spring, and a fig tree would not produce fruit other than figs. From the Luke passage, our words come from whatever is in our hearts. If you have time, have each group member affirm/encourage someone else in the group. Leader note: If you are in a couples group, have the spouses affirm each other. If not, you can have them affirm the person on their right. Commentary: Notice how the demeanor of everyone in your group changes as they are affirmed. The final affirmation will most likely be longer than the first, just because that person has already been affirmed and knows how good it feels!
PRAY As you end your time together use your tongues and words for praise and affirmation to God. It may be a good idea to have each group member speak one phrase of affirmation and praise to the Lord. Then thank God for the example of Jesus and how he controlled his tongue and brought life to others with his words. Ask God to help each of you control your tongue more and more every day and in every situation. Pray for the opportunity to affirm someone every day and that your relationships will flourish because of the helpful and encouraging words you use. EXPERIMENT Be builders this week - take time before you respond to criticism or situations that tend to bring out the burning tongue - and instead process and come back with affirmations and encouragement. Be prepared to come back next week with the results of this challenge - how did it change you? How did it change those around you? How did it change relationships and intimacy?