THE TAO OF HUMAN RELATIONS

THE TAO OF HUMAN RELATIONS Robert Stensrud Kay Stensrud Universityof Northern Iowa CedarFalls,Iowa This article proposes to outline how the teachings of Taoism, an ancient Oriental system of thought, can contribute to a deeper understanding of interpersonal and intergroup relationships. These understandings can in turn be applied to education, business and industry, and government institutions as an approach to organizational human relations. Four central factors pertinent to Taoist teachings are discussed to show how they are relevant to contemporary issues. The factors coincide with those described by Robert Terry (1975) and Gibb & Terry (1976) which are culture, power, resources, and structure. Taoists would note at this point that such categorization is arbitrary and, in truth, no such differentiation can be accurate because Tao is an ongoing experiential process. All differentiations are matters of convenience rather than based on actual experience. Tao asan ongoing experiential process Taoism is a tradition which originated in China sometime between 500 B.C. and 300 B.C. Taoist teaching has influenced much subsequent Oriental thought leaving its mark most notably on religion/philosophy, poetry, martial arts, medicine, and such traditions as Ch'an (Zen in Japan). Taoists present an everyday approach to living which resembles the West's existential-phenomenological tradition as has been noted by such writers as Kohyama (1966) and Chang (1975). Taoist thought reflects existence in its most simple everyday form; it stresses intimate personal relationships which are open and spontaneous. Taoists teach practical strategies by which we can become aware of ourselves and our environments to a degree often unsuspected by Westerners. Such awareness is considered more a matter of "unlearning" TheJournal of TranspersonalPsychology,1979, Vol.11, No. I 75

than of learning something new, because to Taoists we are interconnected with our environment naturally but have lost our awareness of this experience through enculturation and education. CULTURE To understand the Taoist attitude toward human relationships we must first consider that Tao is an existential experience, a direct experience of ourselves as integral parts of our worlds. Chang ( 1963)states that: Tao doesnot blossom into vitalconsciousness until all distinctions between self and nonself have disappeared... The awareness of the identification and interpenetration of self and nonself is the key that unlocks the mystery of Tao. Western and Eastern views of interpenetration To be interpenetrated with the world is not considered a Western dualistic notion but more of an Eastern monistic belief. That the awareness of such an experience is possible in the West has been demonstrated by recent studies of belief systems (Gilgen & Cho, 1979). These studies underscore how little empirical research has attempted to investigate the differences and similarities of Eastern and Western worldviews, Taoists can offer the West a worldview uncluttered with arbitrary categories, stereotypes, or prejudices, and Taoist teachings may help us discover what is possible within the realm of human relationships. Some noted scholars in the West have advanced discussions of what is possible for human relationships. Maurice Merleau Ponty (1968) attacks the belief that a perceiving subject is separate and distinct from a perceived object. Such a dualistic conceptualization is based on language and cognition rather than on actual experience. For Merleau-Ponty, being in its most basic and pure form, "brute being," is an intertwining of subject and object in a direct and immediate experience of the present moment. Language and rational thought are cognitive processes rather than experiential processes and therefore come after a person's experience of the immediate lived-world. Being-in-the-world is dwelling in the present, in that intertwining which precedes thought and which simply is lived. The awareness of being-in-the-world is preontological, which is why language can come near to expressing the experience but will never accurately reflect being as it is lived. Martin Buber is noted for his discussion of Begegnung ("encounter" or "meeting") which is presented most clearly in his 76 TheJournal of TranspersonalPsychology,1979, Vol.11, No.1

work I and Thou (1970). For Buber, as for Merleau-Ponty, there is a realm of experience beyond description in which pure communication is possible. Pure communication is a communion of two or more people as they are totally involved in being with each other. The way our perceptions and our consciousness are structured makes it possible for us to stereotype other people and express prejudice toward different groups. In this way relationships can remain oppressive as long as they continue to be dualistic and communion is not likely when each person is perceived as separate. Relationships based on full communication are authentic because they encompass a realm of experience beyond the arbitrary distinction between self and other. Such relationships are more likely to occur when our culture accepts the assumption that they are possible. We tend to experience only those realities in which we believe, and as long as our culture does not admit to such relationships as are described by Merleau-Ponty and Buber we may fail to become aware of their existence. The Taoists' perspective offers an alternative, ~he rediscovery of the interpersonal possibilities of intertwinmg. PERSONAL POWER The experience of intertwining exists as a preontological ex.. perience beyond words, beyond inferences, and beyond all our intellectual processes. Taoists claim we can sense when we are involved in such an experience but cannot explain or describe it. the experience of intertwining I gather chrysanthemums at the eastern hedgerow And silently gaze at the southern mountains. The mountain air is beautiful in the sunset, And the birds flocking together return home. Among all these things is real meaning, Yet when I try to express it, I become lost in "no-words." Chang (1963) Such experiences are possible only with a deepened awareness of ourselves as we live in the world and interact with it. Heightened awareness is central to Taoist teaching because only in this way can one sense and respond to the environment. Many possible actions exist for each situation but only a few are appropriate. Awareness is a sensitivity to situations which makes known to us the appropriate action, With awareness a feeling of "personal" power may also emerge. In this sense power does not mean prestige or acclaim The Tao of Human Relations 77

but the ability to blend empathy with assertiveness into a fluid and continually spontaneous openness to the world (Stensrud, in press). awareness and appropriateness in relationships Taoists suggest that the basis of any effort to develop enhanced relationships must be awareness and the ability to act on our deepening sense of spontaneous appropriateness in our relationships. If we are sensitive to our world and to ourselves, we may be able to relax and enjoy our meetings with others. When we can appreciate our lives as they are, we also are able to sense the deeper intertwining occurring within all our relationships. Such intertwining allows us to recognize the tzu-jan (self-sa-ness) of other people which is the awareness that people are perfect just as they are. As we become aware of people's self-sa-ness, we may experience an authentic encounter between them and ourselves at a deeply intimate level. If we honestly respect the self-sa-ness of others, we recognize that there is no need for us to interfere in their lives. With no effort on our part, people become themselves because this is part of their natural growth process, Were we to attempt to interfere with others we would create resistance in them. It is this resistance to outside interference which causes people to become rigid and cease to grow. This also causes people to withdraw from intimate contact with the world and perceive other people as being separate from themselves. This can lead to regarding others as little more than objects which we may stereotype, categorize, or discriminate against. We can feel we have immense personal power as long as we remain intertwined with our world, but if we withdraw from this intertwining we may also lose the experience of our personal power. Ifwe attempt to use our power against people, we are treating them as though they were separate from us, and therefore we lose contact with that existential part of existence from which our personal power emerges. When we experience self and nons elf as separate, we become powerless. Only when we are interconnected with our world do we experience our personal power. Being oppressive toward others diminishes it and is oppressive toward ourselves. Being authentic toward others enhances our personal power and therefore is being authentic toward ourselves. Being personally authentic and being interpersonally authentic are complementary aspects of our experience of'being-in-the-world; both must exist together or they do not exist at all. RESOURCES Taoists have demonstrated little interest in resources as such. Instead they focus all their attention on our personal attitudes 78 TheJourna!of TranspersonalPsychology,1979, Vol. 11, No.1

toward resources. Our seeking to obtain resources and our desire to acquire and hoard resources is one of humanity's greatest sins according to Taoists. There is no greater sin than desire, No greater curse than discontent, No greater misfortunethan wanting something for oneself. Therefore he who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. Lao Tzu (1972) As long as there exists a desire among people to acquire and strive for resources, there will be competition. As long as there is competition, there exists a perceptual separation between self and nonself As long as such a separation exists, there will be no true communication. By competing for resources we destroy our opportunity to experience ourselves as being-inthe-world, which is what Taoists consider the central purpose of life. Erich Fromm discusses the difference between two dichotomous modes of existence: The having mode and the being mode. The quote he uses to begin his book is from Lao Tzu: "The way to do is to be." Fromm describes, from a Westerner's perspective, what Taoists have been teaching for centuries. The difference between being and having is not essentially that between East and West. The difference is rather between a society centered around persons and one centered around things..., If I am what I have and if what I have is lost, who then am I? Nobody but a defeated, deflated, pathetic testimony to a wrong way of living. Because I can lose what I have, I am necessarily constantly worried that I shall lose what I have.. " If I am who/ am and not what I have, nobody can deprive me of or threaten my security and sense of identity. My center is within myself (Fromm, 1976). Unless we focus our attention on who we are rather than on what we have, we will continue to be controlled by those people who control valuable resources. By emphasizing who we are, we remove ourselves from the never-ending competition for more resources and, in effect, redefine the rules of the system within which we live. redefining the rules of the system As long as we are playing baseball, the person who owns the ball and the bat can establish the rules. If we were to try changing the rules, we would quickly discover how difficult it is to play baseball without bat and ball. Ifwe were instead to stop playing baseball and start playing tag, we have not only radically redefined the rules, but we also have overturned the existing power structure and replaced it with one not dependent on those resources. The Tao of Human Relations 79

STRUCTURE oppressive and authentic structure Taoists recognize that we cannot live without structure. Physical laws are necessary or we would inhabit a chaotic entropic universe. We can differentiate, however, between two kinds of structure. The first type of structure is oppressive. Oppressive structure is designed in such a manner as to elicit compliance from its inhabitants. The intent behind this structure is to exert control with little regard for individual interests. The second type of structure, which is authentic, is designed in such a manner as to enhance the development of individual discipline and responsibility. The intent behind this type of structure is to provide a framework from within which people can experience control as corning from within themselves rather than from their environment. The effects of oppressive structure have been well documented by researchers investigating "learned helplessness" and "locus of control." As has been demonstrated empirically, whether we actually are controlled externally or not is not as significant as whether we perceive ourselves as being controlled externally. The crucial issue is not the existence of structure but our attitude toward that structure. In an oppressive structure we perceive ourselves as being controlled externally. In an authentic structure we may more easily perceive ourselves as being controlled internally. That most present structures are oppressive is demonstrated by the increasing feelings of hopelessness and external control in our society cited by Lefcourt (1976) in his review of literature pertaining to locus of control. Taoist martial arts, meditation, and yoga are all highly structured, but they are usually structured authentically. The emphasis of these structures is on providing frameworks from within which people may develop their own discipline in their own way. Taoist structure stresses awareness and trusts that individuals need not be controlled in order to grow but merely need to be guided. The way we design structures is a reflection of our individual belief concerning human nature. However, people often respond in accordance to the way their environment is structured. If we expect disobedience and design oppressive structures, we will probably find disobedient people. If we expect disciplined people and establish authentic structures, we will probably find disciplined people. As Lao Tzu says (1972): The more laws and restrictions there are, The poorer people become,... The more rules and regulations, 80 The Journal oj Transpersonal Psychology, 1979, Vol. 11, No. I

The more thieves and robbers. Therefore the sage says: I take no action and people are reformed. I enjoy peace and people become honest. I do nothing and people become rich. I have no desires and people return to the good and simple life. CONCLUSION Taoists do not work toward great and grand objectives, nor do they seek high political office. They concern themselves only with everyday events and continually practice intertwining with the people they meet. They fear that people who seek change on a large scale too often forget the everyday experience of being-in-the-world from which their personal power emerges. They suggest that improvement results not from improving the world but rather from improving ourselves. In this way, "by doing nothing everything is done" (Lao, 1972).To do otherwise would result in treating others as objects and this, in turn, would result in creating more oppression than there was previously. Taoist human relations begin in increased awareness of ourselves as integral parts of OUf lived-worlds. From this we may begin to sense what is possible and live our everyday lives in ways that foster this type of being-in-the-world. There is nothing which can replace authenticity; and by living authentically we recognize that we and our environments are part of the same ongoing process. Any impact we have on the world depends in part on how we Livein our day-to-day relationships. awareness and our livedworlds REFERENCES BUBER, M. I and thou. New York: Scribner's, 1970. CHANG CHUNG-YUAN. Creativity and Taoism: A study of Chinese philosophy, art, and poetry. New York: Harper & Row, 1963. CHANG CHUNG-YUAN. Tao: A new way of thinking. New York: Harper & Row, 1975. FROMM, E. To have or /0 be? New York: Harper & Row, 1976. GIBS, B., & TERRY, R. "Advocating change in the white male club." Journal of Intergroup Relations, 1976 (June), S, 16 29. GILGEN, A. R. & JAE HYUNG CHO. "A questionnaire to measure Eastern and Western thought." Psychological Reports, 1979,44,835-41. The Tao of Human Relations 81

KOHYAMA, 1. "Existential philosophy and psychology in the East and the West." Psychologia,1966,9,2-6. LAO Tzu (Transl. Gia-fu Feng & Jane English). Tao Te Ching. New York: Vintage, 1972. LEFCOURT, H. Locus of control: Current trends in theory and research. Hillsdale, N.J.: Lawrence Erlbaum Assoc., 1976. M. The visibleand the invisible.evanston, MERLEAU-PONTY, Ill.: Northwestern Univ. Press, 1968. STENSRUD, R. "Personal power: A Taoist perspective." Journal of Humanistic Psychology, in press. TERRY, R. For whites only. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 1975. Communications with the authors may be addressed to 2822 College, Cedar Falls, Iowa 50613. 82 The Journal of TranspersanalPsychology. 1979, Vol. I I, No.1