A MUSICAL SPECTACULAR Italics indicate singing. CAST Aladdin- Joe Jasmine- Rosy Alisha- Ella Saskia-Ellie Sultan-Ollie Sultana- Katy Jafar-Iona Iago- Abbie Erago-Sammy Cave- Robbie Head guard/ Carpet- Charlie Guard 1- Amaan Guard 2- Alfie Narrator 1- Tori Narrator 2- Lewis P Peddler 1- Adam Peddler 2- Cerys Gazeem- Frankie Genie- Lewis H Jardeen -Alex Fazeem- Ellena Uswa- Olivia Shazim- Shop keeper - Luca Aamina -Shop keeper 2- Iara Raya- Shop keeper 3- Finley Abu- Tom Prince- Kiran Kafiro- Polly Hazari- Thomas Genie 2 Dora Peddler 1: Ah, Salaam and good evening to you worthy friend. Please, please, come closer There. Welcome to Agrabah. City of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today, come on down! Heh, heh. Peddler 2: Look at this! Yes! Combination hookah and coffee maker. Will not break (taps it on table), will not-- (it falls apart)--break. Hmmmm I can see that you're only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think then, you would be most rewarded to consider...this. (PEDDLER pulls the MAGIC LAMP out from his sleeve.) Peddler 1: Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp! It once changed the course of a young man's life. Peddler 2: A young man who liked this lamp was more than what he seemed. A diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? (PEDDLER pours shiny sand from the lamp into his hand.) It begins on a dark night (PEDDLER throws sand into the sky, where it forms a starry nightscape.), where a dark man waits, with a dark purpose. (Lightning flashes and the NARRATOR enters stage right, along with a man with a camel puppet) 1
NARRATOR 1: Oh, I come from a land From a far away place Where the caravan camels roam Where it's flat and immense And the heat is intense NARRATOR 2: It's barbaric, but hey, it's home When the wind's from the east And the sun's from the west And the sand in the glass is right Come on down, stop on by Hop a carpet and fly To another Arabian Night! Narrator 1: Ahhhh, salaam and good evening, weary travellers.the desert hides a thousand stories! (enter JAFAR, IAGO, ERAGO and GAZEEM at the entrance to the CAVE of WONDERS) Ah, the Cave of Wonders. The setting of one of our most famous legends. The tale of the magic lamp. (the NARRATOR exits stage left) JAFAR: You...are late. GAZEEM:A thousand apologies, O patient one. JAFAR: You have it, then? GAZEEM:I had to slit a few throats to get it. (Pulls out half of the medallion. JAFAR reaches out for it, but GAZEEM yanks it back.) Ah, ah, ahhh! The treasure! (IAGO squawks as he flies by and grabs the medallion.) Ouch! JAFAR: Trust me, my pungent friend. You'll get what's coming to you. IAGO: What's coming to you! Awk! (JAFAR pulls out the second half of the medallion. He connects them, and the insect medallion begins to glow. Finally, it flies out of JAFAR's hand, scaring the horses, and is off towards the dunes.) JAFAR: Quickly, follow the trail! CAVE: Who dares approach the Cave of Wonders? Only the diamond in the rough may enter. All else will perish. JAFAR: You are to fetch me that lamp. Now go! (Gazeem enters the Cave, which collapses on him) Gazeem: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! IAGO: Oops. JAFAR: That's the third peasant this cave has eaten this week! How am I ever to become sultan without that lamp? 2
IAGO: Lamp, lamp, lamp. How many peasants do we have to go through to find that stupid lamp? JAFAR: Patience, Iago. That peasant was obviously less than worthy. ERAGO: Now there's a big surprise! I think I'm gonna have a heart attack from not surprise JAFAR: (grabs ERAGO'S neck) Silence! ERAGO: Choking bird choking JAFAR We have to find that diamond in the rough. Now where could he possibly be? (JAFAR and IAGO exit stage right, passing ALADDIN, KAFIRO, HAZARI as he runs across from stage right to stage left, pursued by the GUARDS. ) GUARD 1: Halt you worthless street rats! That's MR. Worthless Street Rat to you! Morning, ladies. USWA: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we Aladdin? Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught-- (A hand grabs ALADDIN's shoulder and yanks him back. It's the first GUARD. ALADDIN's disguise falls off.) I'm in trouble! JARDEEN: That boy has been stealing my apples again! FAZEEM: He's a public menace! KAFIRO: (appears in a window) Uh, guys, let's not do anything drastic, okay? I mean, you wouldn't attack a guy just for stealing one measly piece of fruit, now, would you? (the GUARDS draw their swords) I'll take that as a yes. (tosses an apple down to the guards) Here, take it back! I didn't want it anyway! JARDEEN: Hey! They are getting away! FAZEEM: Those boys are such a nuisance! JARDEEN: They should put him in the royal dungeon and throw away the key! FAZEEM: Somebody stop him!! (the curtain rises to reveal the Agrabah marketplace. ALADDIN runs onstage from stage left, ducking behind the buildings. As he begins to sing, everyone else freezes) ALADDIN Gotta keep One jump ahead of the bread line One swing ahead of the sword 3
I steal only what I can't afford And that's everything! (everyone resumes motion, and ALADDIN jumps onto a cart) HAZARI: One jump ahead of the lawmen That's all, and that's no joke These guys don't appreciate I'm broke (ALADDIN jumps off the cart and steals bread from a FEMALE CITIZEN) JARDEEN: Riff raff! GUARD 1: Street rat! FAZEEM: Scoundrel! (the HEAD GUARD stops ALADDIN, pushes him to the ground) HEAD GUARD: Take that! KAFIRO: Just a little snack, guys! (ALADDIN dodges the GUARDS' swords, then ducks behind a group of girls) CROWD: Rip him open take it back guys! ALADDIN I can take a hint, gotta face the facts I could use a friend or two GIRLS True! Oh it's sad, Aladdin's hit the bottom He's become a one man rise in crime (ALADDIN, behind a BELLY DANCER, compliments her movements to hide) FAZEEM: I'd blame parents except he hasn't got em KAFIRO (jumps from behind the BELLY DANCER, and the crowd spots him) Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat Tell you all about it when I got the time (ALADDIN crawls through the crowd on hands and knees as they look for him) One jump ahead of the slow pokes One skip ahead of my doom Next time, gonna use a nom de plume (ALADDIN grabs a feather from a basket) ALADDIN One jump ahead of the hitmen One hit ahead of the flock 4
GUARD 1: (spots ALADDIN) Hey! I think I'll take a stroll around the block (ducks behind a building) FAZEEM: Stop thief! JARDEEN: Vandal! FAZEEM: Outrage! GIRLS: Scandal! (ALADDIN, carried by GUARDS, is brought from behind the building) Let's not be too hasty GIRLS: Still I think he's rather tasty (the GUARDS push ALADDIN to the ground and the HEAD GUARD raises his sword) Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat Otherwise we'd get along (the GIRLS pass a basket along, and the last one places it over the HEAD GUARD's head, allowing ALADDIN to duck away) CROWD: Wrong! (as ALADDIN hides, the HEAD GUARD tries to get the basket off his head, finally succeeding) CROWD: One jump ahead of the hoofbeats! (ALADDIN runs across the stage, almost into the HEAD GUARD's sword) HEAD GUARD: Vandal! Gotta face the facts! CROWD: One hop ahead of the hump! (ALADDIN ducks another direction and runs into another GUARD) GUARD 1: Street rat! Gotta eat to live! CROWD: One trick ahead of disaster! (ALADDIN ducks the third GUARD'S sword) GUARD 2: Scoundrel! 5
Gotta steal to eat! CROWD: They're quick ALADDIN But I'm much faster Here goes (exits stage right and returns moments later) Better throw my hand in Wish me happy landing (flies across the stage with the CROWD in pursuit, and they exit stage left) All I gotta do is jump! (ALADDIN appears from behind a building in the center of the stage, then runs into JASMINE, ALISHA, SASKIA as he starts to jog away) Oh, sorry about that (The girls continues on their way) on second thought, maybe I'm not! Maybe it was an act of fate! AAMINA: Pretty lady, buy a pot. No finer pot in brass or silver. RAYA: Sugar dates, sugar dates and figs! Sugar dates and pistachios! SHAZIM: Would the lady like a necklace. A pretty necklace for a pretty lady. (She is charmed by the action, but is startled by a fish thrust into her face.) RAYA: Fresh fish! We catch 'em, you buy 'em! (Aladdin ducks behind the buildings to get in front of JASMINE, stealing an apple along the way) JASMINE: (to a SELLER) Oh no thank you (holding out the apple to JASMINE) Hungry? ALISHA: (walking away) You stole that, no doubt. (chases after her, stops her, and offers the apple again) Well, the way the sultan taxes his people, we have no choice but to steal. SASKIA: And do you always give away your stolen goods? Only to the less fortunate or in your case, the more beautiful! (JASMINE starts to walk away again) You can't escape on an empty stomach! JASMINE: (turning around) What makes you think I'm trying to escape from something? (ALADDIN gestures at her disguise) Is it that obvious? Look, these streets can be dangerous. You'll need a guide. What's the matter? Don't you trust me? JASMINE: (takes the apple) You're very kind. The name's Aladdin, but most people call me 6
GUARD 1: Street rat! That too! Come on! (they try to run, but are grabbed by the GUARDS) GUARD 2: There's no sense in running, boy, we've got you surrounded! GUARD 1: (takes the apple from JASMINE) And it looks like he's got an accomplice! Hey! Leave her out of this! She didn't do anything! It was my fault! She's innocent GUARD 2: Silence street rat! JASMINE: Unhand me this instant! (she is thrown roughly to the ground) And stop calling him street rat, he's a person just like you or me! GUARD 1: Well, listen to the little vagabond! The way she's ordering us around, you'd think she were the princess of Agrabah herself! (the CROWD laughs) JASMINE: (pulls away the cloth covering her head to reveal a crown) I am the princess of Agrabah! (the CROWD and GUARDS fall to the ground and bow. ALADDIN, stunned, falls a moment later) And I demand that you set this poor peasant boy free immediately, or I shall report all of you to the sultan. GUARD 1: A hundred apologies, your majesty, but we were only following the laws. HEAD GUARD: And with all due respect, it is your father who makes the laws, not you uh, your highness. It's all right, princess. I appreciate the effort. JASMINE: (to the HEAD GUARD) You are to do nothing with him until I speak with my father. (to ALADDIN) Don't worry, this will all be resolved before any harm comes to you (she goes to leave, but the GUARDS are still in the way) you're in my way. HEAD GUARD: (jumps aside) A thousand pardons your majesty! (JASMINE exits stage left) CROWD: (laughs at the guards) GUARD 1: Clear out of here! (the GUARDS grab ALADDIN) HEAD GUARD: You may think you have friends in high places, boy, but no matter what the princess says, we're free to handle criminals as we see fit right here on the street! (he draws his sword) JAFAR: (entering from stage right, disguised as an old man) Stop everything! Stop everything! There you are, my boy. Your mother and I have been so worried about you! (he pulls ALADDIN away from the guards) 7
And you would be? JAFAR: Play along, boy, unless you want to sleep with the prison mice tonight, or worse. (to the GUARDS) I'm the boy's father. Right! He's the boy's father! wait I'm the boy, he's the father JAFAR: He's always getting into trouble, this one. But he's a good boy. He has a true heart and a noble spirit. You might almost call him a diamond in the rough. Whatever it is he's stolen, I'm sure this will more than repay the debt. (he tosses a bag of coins to a GUARD) You'll notice a few extra gold coins there for all your hard work. HEAD GUARD: (grabs the bag of coins) Well, seeing as the debt has been repaid and then some you're free to go. Just don't let us catch you ever again! ABU: Believe me, that's the plan. (the GUARDS start to jump at him, but JAFAR holds up a hand, and the GUARDS exit stage left) JAFAR: Well, that was almost too easy. Why'd you help me out like that? JAFAR: Oh, just compassionate, I guess. Of course, one good deed deserves another. ABU: I had a feeling there was a catch. (JAFAR shoves ALADDIN, and the background reveals the Cave of Wonders) CAVE: Who dares approach the Cave of Wonders? Only the diamond in the rough may enter. All else will perish. (approaching the Cave) I don't like those odds. (turns to leave, is stopped by JAFAR) JAFAR: Not to worry, Aladdin. I've consulted an ancient oracle. You are the diamond in the rough. (ALADDIN moves toward the Cave again) IAGO: Yeah! Move it or lose it, Diamond Boy! I've changed my mind about this! (he tries to run away, but is stopped by JAFAR) JAFAR Go! Or I shall return you to the palace guards! But JAFAR: Go now! There is no time to waste. And whatever you do, only touch the lamp. ABU: Well, here goes nothing. (he ducks into the Cave and disappears) IAGO: He's inside, your foulness! 8
JAFAR: It's only a matter of minutes now before all of Agrabah will be calling me Sultan Jafar remember, only touch the lamp! (ALADDIN appears high up, walking slowly into the Cave) Only touch the lamp, got it! Only touch the lamp. Only touch the lamp. Hello? Is anybody down there? Oh, it sure is dark in here. How did I get myself into this mess? I'm not so sure this is any better than the royal dungeon. All right Aladdin, don't panic. ABU: Just get down there, grab the lamp, give it to the old geezer, and call it a night. One jump ahead of the lawmen, one swing ahead of the sword better throw my hand in, wish me happy landin'! (he exits stage right, and reappears moments later) What was that?? One trick ahead of disaster, on skip ahead of my doom Hello?? ABU: Whoa only touch the lamp only touch the lamp only touch (spotting the lamp) the lamp! (he climbs up to grab the lamp, and knocks over a piece of treaure. CARPET jumps up) I can assure you Mr. Cave of Wonders person, that was just an accident! (the treasure falls away, and ALADDIN quickly grabs the lamp and ducks a cave-in, setting the lamp on the ground downstage. CARPET also escapes the cavein) Oh great, just great! Now how am I supposed to get out of here? Oh, this isn't fair! Hey, somebody! Somebody help me plea (he comes face-to-rug with CARPET, and jumps back) WHOA! Hey you trying to get out of here too? (CARPET nods) I know how you feel. The name's Aladdin (he shakes CARPET's tassel) Well, this way looks blocked. ABU: Got any other ideas? (CARPET gets excited and moves toward the lamp downstage) What's that, you see something? Oh, yeah. All that work for this measly piece of junk. (CARPET mimes rubbing the lamp) What's that? (CARPET mimes it again) I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to say. (to the audience) Does anyone out there speak Carpet? (the audience responds) What? Rub the lamp? Okay what good is that gonna do? (he rubs the lamp, and GENIE billows high into the air and reappears onstage in a plume of smoke) GENIE: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Genie!! Aaaaahhhhh! OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck! (He hangs ALADDIN on a nearby rock. Then he pulls his head off and spins it around, yelling as he does so. CARPET pulls a ALADDIN down.) Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there! (GENIE uses the lamp end of himself as a microphone.) Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi, where ya from? (Sticks the mic in ALADDIN's face.) Come on be honest, do I have lamp odor? What's your name? Uh, Al--uh--Aladdin. GENIE: (Says his name as if he's discovered something major) Aladdin Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you 'Al?' Or maybe just 'Din?' Or how bout 'Laddi?' (Shaking his head) I must have hit my head harder than I thought. GENIE: ABU screeches wildly.) Hey, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia! Slap me some tassel! Yo! Yeah! (CARPET flies over and high fives the GENIE. GENIE looks at ALADDIN.) Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. (Lifts his beer-gut.) Either that or I'm gettin' bigger. Look at me from the side--do I look different to you? Wait a minute! I'm--your master? 9
GENIE: (Slaps a diploma in ALADDIN's hand and a mortarboard on his head.) That's right! He can be taught!! What would you wish of me, (as Arnold Schwarzenegger) the ever impressive,(inside a cube) the long contained, (as a ventriloquist with a dummy) often imitated, (tosses the dummy aside) but never duplicated-- (He multiplies into multiple GENIES who surround him.) DUP. GENIES: Duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated. GENIE 2: (Says it like a ring announcer at a boxing match.) Genie! Of! The Lamp! (Goes into Ed Sullivan) Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment. Thank youuuuu! Whoa! Wish fulfillment? GENIE 2: Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishethat's it three. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds. (To ABU) Now I know I'm dreaming. ABU: Who are you? GENIE: I used to be Mr. Clean before I won a breath holding contest I'm a Genie! And you know what that means? You've got three, count 'em 3, really groovy wishes coming your way, baby. Oh, behave. I do? GENIE: Yeah, but before we get started, let's go over the rule book, sport. Let's see "How to Keep Your Puffy Pants Puffy" by MC Hammer "Men Are from Mars, Genies are from Lamps" "Harry Potter," "Harry Potter," "Harry Potter" I'm a big fan. Ah, here we go! "Genie Rule Book"! Rule number one! No wishin' for more wishes! It's against Genie labor laws, and you don't wanna cross that picket line, even to go to the grocery store. Rule number two! I can't make someone fall in love with you. I did that once for Britney Spears. Apparently the magic only lasts 55 hours. Rule number three! I can't raise the dead. Let me get this straight. You're my genie? And I'm your master? GENIE: Yup! That's what we genies do. It's ALL we do. Oh, sure, it sounds like a glamorous gig, but you gotta spend your whole life trapped inside that teeny lamp, doling out wish after wish, no real freedom of your own. But hey! What am I talkin' about me for? This is your lucky day, son not mine. And you have no idea what's in store, friend! Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves Sheherazadie had a thousand tales But master you in luck Cause up your sleeves You got a brand of magic never fails You got some power in your corner now Some heavy ammunition in your camp You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how See all you gotta do is rub the lamp And I'll say (CARPET brings out a small table with a covered dish) Mr. Aladdin sir, what will your pleasure be 10
(GENIE grabs a notepad and writes) Let me take your order, jot it down You ain't never had a friend like me No no no (GENIE 2 puts on a suit jacket that CARPET holds out) GENIE 2 Life is your restaurant and I'm your maitre'd Come on whisper what it is you want You ain't never had a friend like me Yes sir we (GENIE lifts the lid on the dish to reveal a GENIE HEAD) GENIE 2: Pride ourselves on service You're the boss the king the shah Say what you wish, it's yours, true dish How 'bout a GENIE 1 and 2: Little more baklava! (GENIE re-covers the dish and grabs a menu) GENIE Have some of column A Try all of column B (slaps the menu shut and sets it down) I'm in the mood to help you dude! You ain't never had a friend like me! (GENIE pushes ALADDIN downstage, where ALADDIN sits, then GENIE "throws his voice" to CARPET) Can your friends do this? (a GENIE pops up in a puff of smoke) Can your friends do that? (another GENIE flips onto the stage from stage right) Can your friends pull this (GENIE pulls flowers out of a hat and hands them to CARPET) Outta their little hat? Can your friends go poof? Well, lookie here Can your friends go abracadabra Let 'er rip! Then make the sucker disappear! (CARPET disappears in a puff of smoke) And that's just the appetizer! (the rockslide rises to reveal a whole chorus of GENIES on a Vegas-like set, ALADDIN jumps up) GENIE CHORUS So don't just sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed I'm here to answer all your mid-day prayers 11
You got me bona fide certified You got a genie for your charge d'affaires! I got powerful urge to help you out So what you wish, I really wanna know (the GENIES pick up ALADDIN) You got a list that's three miles long no doubt Well all you gotta do is rub like so (GENIE rubs the lamp ALADDIN holds out, then the GENIE CHORUS sets ALADDIN down and runs offstage) And oh! (a few GENIES breakdance, then run offstage, leaving ALADDIN and CARPET. The GENIES, led by GENIE, appear at the top of the staircase, hats and canes in hand) GENIE: Give it up for the genies! (GENIE and the GENIE CHORUS do a kickline down the stairs) GENIE/GENIE CHORUS Mr. Aladdin sir, what will your pleasure be Let me take your order, jot it down Come on whisper what it is you want (GENIE brings ALADDIN to stand next to him, they dance) GENIE: Let's kick it, kid! GENIE/GENIE CHORUS Mr. Aladdn sir, have a wish or two or three I'm on the job, you big nabob You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend ALADDIN, GENIES, AND CHORUS You ain't never had a friend like me GENIE CHORUS Oh yeah Wah wah wah Oh my Wah wah wah Oh yeah GENIE: You ain't never had a friend like me ALL: Hah! (ALL strike a final pose, and the lights go out) 12