B E E S A N D P E O P L E - PDF Free Download

B E E S A N D P E O P L E Mikhail Zoshchenko A red Army soldier arrived at a certain collective farm on a visit, and he brought a jar of flower honey as a present for his relatives. Everyone liked this honey so much that the collective farmers decided to begin keeping bees. But there weren t any beekeepers in the area, and the farmers had to start from scratch making hives and moving bees from the woods into these new apartments. Realizing that this would be a long process, the collective farmers got discouraged. That ll take forever, they said. By the time we do this, that, and the other thing, the summer will be over, and we won t see any honey till next year. But we need it now. Among the members of the kolkhoz there was a splendid person, a certain Ivan Panfilich, who was an elderly man of about seventy-two. In his youth he had been a beekeeper. And so he said, If we want to drink tea with honey this year, we ll have to go some place where they keep bees and buy the object of our dreams from them. The farmers said, Our collective is worth a million. We won t let expense stand in its way. Let s buy a stock of bees in full swing, with the bees already in the hives. Otherwise, if we get bees from the woods they may turn out to be no good. They might start making some kind of terrible honey like linden-tree honey. And we want flower honey. So they gave Ivan Panfilich some money and sent him to the town of Tambov. He arrived in Tambov, and there they told him, You did well to come to us. Three of our villages have been resettled in the Far East, and we have an extra apiary left over. We can give you this apiary for almost nothing. Only, how you are going to transport the bees that s a question for us to think about. The merchandise is, you might say, easily scattered winged. The least little thing and it ll fly away in all directions. We re afraid that you ll arrive at your destination with only the little beehives and the larvae. Panfilich said, I ll get them there somehow. I know bees. I ve been around bees all my life. And so he brought sixteen beehives to the station on two carts. At the station he wangled a flatcar. He put his beehives on the car and covered them with a tarpaulin. In a little while the freight train started moving. And our flatcar started rolling. 1

Panfilich stood solemnly on the flatcar and conversed with his bees... It s all right, little fellows, he told them. We ll get there! Just be patient in the dark a little while, and then I ll let you out in the flowers again. And there, I think, you ll get what you want. The main thing is not to get upset that I m transporting you in the dark. I put the tarpaulin over you on purpose, so you wouldn t get silly and fly out while the train was moving. In that case, I don t think you d manage to hop back on the train. The train traveled on for a day. And it traveled for another day. On the third day Panfilich began to get a little worried. The train was going slowly. It stopped at every station. It stood a long time. And it wasn t clear when it would arrive at his destination. At the station Polya Panfilich got down from his car and addressed the stationmaster. He asked, Tell me, honored sir, will the train be stopping long at your station? The stationmaster answered, To tell you the truth, I don t know. It might even stop till evening. Panfilich said, If it s till evening, I ll take off the tarpaulin and let my little bees out in your fields. Why, they re exhausted from traveling. It s the third day they ve been sitting under the tarpaulin. They re starving. They haven t eaten or drunk, and they re not feeding the larvae. The stationmaster said, Do what you want! What do I care about your winged passengers! I ve got enough to do without them. And now I m supposed to worry about your larvae. What kind of nonsense is that! Panfilich returned to his platform and removed the tarpaulin. The weather was splendid. A blue sky. The July sun shining. Fields all around. Flowers growing. A chestnut grove in bloom. So Panfilich took the tarpaulin off the flatcar, and at once a whole army of bees rose skyward. The bees circled, looked around, and set out for the fields and woods. Passengers crowded around the car. Panfilich stood on it and delivered them a lecture on the usefulness of bees. But during the lecture the stationmaster came out on the platform and began signaling the engineer to start the train. Panfilich gasped in horror when he saw these signals. In agitation he said to the stationmaster, Honored sir, don t start the train. All my bees are out. The stationmaster said, You d better whistle to them to come back in a hurry! I can t hold the train longer than three minutes. Panfilich said, I beg you, hold the train till sunset! At sunset the bees will return to their places. At least uncouple my flatcar! I can t leave without my bees. There are only a thousand left here; fifteen thousand are in the fields. Understand my situation! Don t be indifferent to a misfortune like this! The stationmaster said, This isn t a health resort for bees, it s a railroad. Just imagine, his bees flew away! On the next train they ll say the flies flew away. Or 2

the fleas, they ll say, jumped out of the sleeping car. So do I have to hold up the train for that? Don t make me laugh! At this point the stationmaster again signaled to the engineer. And so the train began to move. Panfilich, white as a sheet, stood on his flatcar. He threw up his hands, looked on all sides, and trembled from outraged feelings. And the train moved along. Well, a certain number of bees did manage to hop on after the train was in motion. But the majority remained in the fields and groves. The train disappeared from sight. The stationmaster returned to the station and got down to work. He was writing something in his records and drinking tea with lemon. Suddenly he heard a kind of noise in the station. He opened the window to see what had happened, and he saw that the waiting passengers were in an uproar, running and bustling about. The stationmaster asked, What happened? They answered, Some bees have stung three passengers. And now they re attacking the rest. There are so many of them that they darken the sky. Then the stationmaster saw that a whole cloud of bees was swirling around his station. Naturally, they were looking for their flatcar. But the car wasn t there. It had gone. And so they were attacking people and everything else around. The stationmaster was just about to move away from the window to go out into the station when a swarm of enraged bees flew in through the window. He grabbed a towel and started waving it around to chase the bees out of the room. But apparently this was his downfall. Two bees stung him on the neck. A third, on the ear. And a fourth stung him on the forehead. Wrapping the towel around him, the stationmaster lay down on the sofa and began to emit piteous groans. Soon his assistant ran in and said, You re not the only one. The bees have stung the telegrapher on duty on the cheek, and now he refuses to work. The stationmaster, lying on the sofa, said, Oh, what shall we do? Then another employee ran in and told the stationmaster, The ticket seller, that is, your wife, Klavdia Ivanovna, got stung on the nose just this minute. Now her looks are completely spoiled. The stationmaster groaned more loudly and said, We ll have to get back that flatcar with the crazy beekeeper as soon as we can. He leaped from the sofa and called on the telephone. And from the next station they answered, All right. We ll uncouple the flatcar right away. But we don t have an engine to deliver it to you with. The stationmaster shouted, We ll send an engine. Hurry up and uncouple the flatcar. The bees have already stung my spouse. My station, Polya, is empty. All 3

the passengers are hiding in a barn. There are only bees flying around here. And I refuse to go out; I don t care if there s a wreck! And so the flatcar was quickly returned. Everyone sighed with relief when they saw the flatcar with Panfilich standing on it. Panfilich ordered them to put the flatcar in the same place where it had been standing before. And when they saw the flatcar, the bees instantly flew over to it. There were so many bees and they were in such a hurry to get to their places that there was a terrible crush. Such a rumbling and buzzing sound arose among them that a dog began to howl and some pigeons flew skyward. Panfilich stood on the platform, saying, Calmly, little fellows, don t hurry! There s time. Take your places according to your tickets! In ten minutes everything was quiet. Having assured himself that everything was in order, Panfilich climbed down from his car. The people at the station applauded him, and Panfilich, like an actor, began bowing to them. He said, Turn your collars back down. Unveil your faces! And stop trembling for your fate no further beestings will take place. After saying this, Panfilich went to the stationmaster. The stationmaster, swathed in a towel, was still lying on the sofa. He was gasping and groaning. But he groaned even harder when Panfilich entered the room. Panfilich said, I greatly regret, honored sir, that my bees stung you. But it is your own fault. You can t be so indifferent about things, whether they are great or small. Bees will not stand for that. They ll sting people for that without further ado. The stationmaster groaned even harder, and Panfilich continued, Bees absolutely cannot tolerate bureaucracy or indifference to their fate. Why, you treated them the way you probably treat people and there s your reward. Panfilich looked out the window and added, The sun has set. My traveling companions have taken their places. I have the honor to bid you farewell! We re ready to leave. The stationmaster nodded weakly, as if to say, Leave as soon as possible! And he whispered softly, Are you sure you caught all the bees? Look sharp you don t leave any of them with us! Panfilich said, Even if two or three bees remain with you, that will be for your own good. They ll remind you of this occurrence with their buzzing. With these words Panfilich left the premises. Toward evening of the following day our glorious Panfilich arrived at his destination with his live merchandise. The collective farmers greeted him with music. 4