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Spooky Dog and the Teen-Age Gang Mysteries by Eric Pliner and Amy Rhodes A Samuel French Acting Edition samuelfrench.com

Copyright 2008 by Eric Pliner and Amy Rhodes ALL RIGHTS RESERVED CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES is subject to a Licensing Fee. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth, including Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television and the rights of translation into foreign languages are strictly reserved. In its present form the play is dedicated to the reading public only. The amateur live stage performance rights to SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES are controlled exclusively by Samuel French, Inc., and licensing arrangements and performance licenses must be secured well in advance of presentation. PLEASE NOTE that amateur Licensing Fees are set upon application in accordance with your producing circumstances. When applying for a licensing quotation and a performance license please give us the number of performances intended, dates of production, your seating capacity and admission fee. Licensing Fees are payable one week before the opening performance of the play to Samuel French, Inc., at 45 W. 25th Street, New York, NY 10010. Licensing Fee of the required amount must be paid whether the play is presented for charity or gain and whether or not admission is charged. Stock licensing fees quoted upon application to Samuel French, Inc. For all other rights than those stipulated above, apply to: Samuel French, Inc., at 45 W. 25th Street, New York, NY 10010. Particular emphasis is laid on the question of amateur or professional readings, permission and terms for which must be secured in writing from Samuel French, Inc. Copying from this book in whole or in part is strictly forbidden by law, and the right of performance is not transferable. Whenever the play is produced the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play: Produced by special arrangement with Samuel French, Inc. Due authorship credit must be given on all programs, printing and advertising for the play. ISBN 978-0-573-65146-5 Printed in U.S.A. #20849

No one shall commit or authorize any act or omission by which the copyright of, or the right to copyright, this play may be impaired. No one shall make any changes in this play for the purpose of production. Publication of this play does not imply availability for performance. Both amateurs and professionals considering a production are strongly advised in their own interests to apply to Samuel French, Inc., for written permission before starting rehearsals, advertising, or booking a theatre. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, now known or yet to be invented, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, videotaping, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. MUSIC USE NOTE Licensees are solely responsible for obtaining formal written permission from copyright owners to use copyrighted music in the performance of this play and are strongly cautioned to do so. If no such permission is obtained by the licensee, then the licensee must use only original music that the licensee owns and controls. Licensees are solely responsible and liable for all music clearances and shall indemnify the copyright owners of the play and their licensing agent, Samuel French, Inc., against any costs, expenses, losses and liabilities arising from the use of music by licensees. IMPORTANT BILLING AND CREDIT REQUIREMENTS All producers of SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYS- TERIES must give credit to the Author of the Play in all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play, and in all instances in which the title of the Play appears for the purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting the Play and/or a production. The name of the Author must appear on a separate line on which no other name appears, immediately following the title and must appear in size of type not less than fifty percent of the size of the title type.

SPOOKY DOG & THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES was presented on December 11, 1998 at the Green Street Studios in Cambridge, Massachusetts. It was directed and choreographed by Eric Pliner, with costumes and sets by the Company. The cast was as follows: THELMA...Amy Rhodes TIFFANY... Melanie J. Lerch SCRAGGLY...Daniel Newfield TED...T ai Merion SPOOKY DOG...Brian Jewell MRS. WOODHAVEN / FORTUANA... Jan Davidson BIG WOODY / PHANTOM...Dan Richardson SPOOKY DOG & THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES was later presented on October 13, 2000 at the Kraine Theatre, New York, NY. It was directed by Eric Pliner, with choreography by Beth Portnoy, stage management by Bonnie Brady, and costumes and sets by the Company. The cast was as follows: THELMA...Amy Rhodes TIFFANY...Kate Hess SCRAGGLY... J.C. DeVore TED...Adam Rose SPOOKY DOG...Travis Dean Bellichi MRS. WOODHAVEN / FORTUANA...Jennifer Plante BIG WOODY / PHANTOM...Rodney Lane Holland

CHARACTERS THELMA, the nerdy brainiac who wants to solve mysteries, even though she has a few of her own TIFFANY, the gorgeous, vapid, and sometimes catty rich girl who uses her sexuality to get what she wants SCRAGGLY, the hippie stoner who loves to eat, sleep, and hang out with his best friend, Spooky Dog TED, the all-american leader of the Teen-Age Mystery Gang, a handsome football player-type with a fey side SPOOKY DOG, a dog detective with a huge appetite and an uncanny ability to solve mysteries, perhaps because he s smarter than his human friends PHANTOM, aka the Fairground Phantom or Dupray Dupree, the ghost of a long-dead country singer who haunts the Creepola County County Fair MRS. WOODHAVEN, the batty old lady who runs the Creepola County County Fair with her weirdo husband MR. WOODHAVEN, aka BIG WOODY, the weirdo husband of the batty old lady FORTUANA, the lousy psychic fortune teller and Mrs. Woodhaven s identical twin sister SETTING The Creepola County County Fair and locations nearby TIME The late 1960 s / early 1970 s... or not.

PRODUCTION NOTES Spooky Dog & The Teen-Age Gang Mysteries is a stage parody of Saturday morning cartoons. The look and feel of productions (costumes, sets, props, even marketing) should be bright and flat, musical, colorful and two-dimensional but the characters themselves should be the opposite: clueless and somehow real, if only in their own minds. Every joke, comment, and even visual gag in the script is an intentional double entendre, likely laden with sexual innuendo or other significance but the characters have no idea. If you think you ve noticed a hidden meaning when you read a line, you re probably right but Ted, Tiffany, Thelma, Scraggly, and Spooky aren t in on the joke. The reveal of these jokes, then, should be slow. When Scraggly says that he and Spooky are going to roll a big dog bone, he means it (hopefully you and your audience know otherwise). In the second scene, Ted doesn t realize that the Spooky Snacks in his pocket might appear as though he s happy to see everyone, and while Tiffany knows that the back of Thelma s flashlight is sticky, the real reason would never occur to her. We begin to get a sense of these characters as three-dimensional in glimpses Ted and Thelma swear in reaction to fear or annoyance, for instance, which should catch the audience off-guard but by the time they chase each other (oh, and the Phantom), they ve let it all hang out. Both Ted and Thelma are openly hitting on Tiffany, who is using her sexuality brazenly; Spooky and Scraggly are clearly, ahem, altered and indulging their hunger accordingly; even the Phantom is taking part in the hi-jinks. Let it be a relatively slow burn for the audience and for the characters, though; if there s too much too soon, the comedy evaporates like Thelma s elusive Phantom footprints. Remember: SPOOKY DOG is a stage parody of Saturday morning television, making explicit the themes that we as children and young adults suspected might be lying just beneath the surface. Going too far in suggesting (in your presentation or marketing) that SPOOKY DOG is a stage version of a particular program might dilute the joke or result in an audience full of children... or worse. Make it big, fill it with fun music, use your best cartoon character voices, keep it colorful, make it over-the-top and campy, and most importantly, keep it honest. You ll have more fun that way, and so will our characters and your audience. Eric Pliner New York, NY

READER 7 In memory of T ai Merion, who made us laugh.

8 READER

PROLOGUE Prior to each performance, one or more actors should welcome the audience (as themselves, not in character and definitely not in costume). These actor(s) should then request from the audience the following suggestions, which will appear in the show. 1. THE CELEBRITY. The name of a celebrity. She or he should be someone who is alive and who most people will know. Celebrities or popular icons who have a large body of work or who sing, dance, and act are good choices e.g. Madonna, Britney Spears, Cher, Tom Cruise, and Will Smith have been successful in the past. The more the celebrity has done, the easier it will be to weave her or him into the story. Wherever the script says the performer, actors should substitute the name of the selected celebrity. 2. THE OBJECT. An actual object brought to the theater by an audience member. The cast member(s) should take the actual object not just the name of the object from the audience member for use in the performance. Good choices include such items as makeup, keys, an umbrella, or a book. The object will be used in Scene 8, and should be referenced wherever the script says the object. 3. THE ADVICE. A bit of advice a mother might give. It helps to ask the audience for advice your mother gave you when you were growing up. Good examples include 9

10 SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES Look both ways before you cross the street or Always wear clean underwear. The advice will be used in scenes 4, 9, and 12, and should be quoted wherever the script says the advice. Afterwards, there should be a 2-3 minute musical interlude to allow time for the cast to prepare some of the connecting lines for these items, and for the actor(s) who introduced the show to change into their costumes.

SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES 11 SCENE ONE (Blackout. ALL enter, with flashlights.) THELMA. Scraggly? Scraggly? TIFFANY. Thelma? Thelma? SCRAGGLY. Ted? Oh, Teddy! TED. Tiffany? Tiffany? THELMA. Hey! Where s Spooky? ALL. Hey Spooky! Where are you? SPOOKY. Spooky Spooky Dog! (Lights up. ALL perform an introductory musical number.) TIFFANY. (to audience) Spooky Dog and the Teenage Mystery Gang in the Case of the Fairground Phantom.

12 SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES (A funky apartment.) SCENE TWO THELMA. It sure was groovy of your dad to invite us here for the weekend, Tiffany. SCRAGGLY. Like, yeah, and to stock the refrigerator. Hey, Spooky how s about a little snicky-snack? SPOOKY. Snicky-snack? Okay. SCRAGGLY. One watermelon-anchovy soufflé on a baguette coming right up! SPOOKY. (Laughs.) TIFFANY. Hey, has anyone seen Ted? THELMA. I think he s outside packing the Clue Caravan. TIFFANY. Packing? Ted s packing? TED. (Enters, an unusually large bulge in his pants.) I sure am, Tiffany. I want to make sure everything is ready for our big camping trip tomorrow! (Removes a package from his pocket.) And look what I found an extra roll of Spooky Snacks! SPOOKY. Spooky Snacks? SCRAGGLY. Like, the perfect topping for our soufflé on a baguette! TED. I don t think so. We ll save these for later. SCRAGGLY. But, like, what s the point of later when we can have them now?! TIFFANY. Good things come to those who wait. (The phone rings.) THELMA. The phone is ringing! TIFFANY. That must mean there s a phone call!

SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES 13 TED. I ll get it. (He answers.) Wherever there s trouble, we re there on the double, Teenage Mystery Gang! How can I help you? What? You mean... Right now? I ll see what I can do. Oh, my gosh! Right in front? We ll be there as soon as we can! TIFFANY. What is it, Ted? TED. It s a phone call! THELMA. Who was it? TED. Oh, it s the performer. THELMA. The performer? We haven t seen the performer since... (She improvises an explanation, incorporating a joke about the performer.) SCRAGGLY. Like, what d s/he want, Ted? TED. S/he s headlining at the county fair. SCRAGGLY. The county fair! Like, I love the county fair! Hot dogs, funnel cake, lemonade, chocolate covered shish-on-the-kebab! TIFFANY. What act is s/he doing? (TED improvises an explanation, incorporating a joke about the performer.) TED. And s/he wants to come down right away! THELMA. Right away! Is everything okay? TED. I m not sure. It sounded pretty urgent. TIFFANY. But what about our trip? TED. If there s really something wrong, Tiffany, this is no time for tripping! SCRAGGLY. Now, let s not be too hasty, Teddy.

14 SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES SPOOKY. Too hasty! TIFFANY. Anyway, I haven t even finished my protein shake! TED. I said we d get there as soon as we can. SCRAGGLY. Like, what should we do? SPOOKY. Let s go! TED. To the Clue Caravan, gang! (Blackout.)

SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES 15 SCENE THREE (The front seat of the Clue Caravan. TED drives, everyone else sits in the passenger seat.) TED. Well, gang, we re almost there. TIFFANY. It sure is groovy that we re finally going to see the performer after all this time! SCRAGGLY. Like, how did you guys meet someone so famous anyway? (TED improvises an explanation, incorporating a joke about the performer.) THELMA. Ted, are you sure you know where you re going? TED. It s a short ride, and I m taking a short cut. THELMA. According to my calculations, your little short cut is only taking us a few inches out of the way. TIFFANY. A few inches? What good is a few inches? TED. Good things come to those who wait! TIFFANY. Huh? SCRAGGLY. Zoinks! Like, what kind of a fairground is so deep in the woods? TIFFANY. (She screams.) Can you feel that? TED. What s wrong? TIFFANY. This creepy shortcut is giving me goose bumps all over! THELMA. I don t feel a thing. TIFFANY. (Grabs THELMA s hand.) How about now? THELMA. Now I feel something. SCRAGGLY. Like, me, too. SPOOKY. Yipes!

16 SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES SCRAGGLY. Spooky, what s wrong? SPOOKY. Something bit my tail! ALL. Oh, no! SCRAGGLY. Like, maybe it was a ghost! ALL. A ghost! THELMA. Now, Spooky, why would a ghost bite your tail? SPOOKY. Maybe he was hungry? TIFFANY. I found something! TED. Good work, Tiffany! What is it? TIFFANY. It s my tambourine! I ve been looking for this! SCRAGGLY. Are we there yet? TED. Almost. The map says we just have to pass a swamp on the left, an abandoned mansion on the right, and drive over two rickety bridges. (The PHANTOM runs by. TED slams on the brakes.) TED. Whoa! That was close! SPOOKY. What was that? SCRAGGLY. M-m-m-m-maybe it was a ghost! TIFFANY. Maybe it was just a tree. THELMA. I don t know about you guys, but now I m getting a really weird feeling about this. TED. Maybe it s excitement! Look, gang! (He points at a sign.) ALL. Welcome to the Creepola County County Fair! TED. We re there! SCRAGGLY. Groovy! (Blackout.)

SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES 17 SCENE FOUR (The fairground, behind the dressing room.) SCRAGGLY. Like, it sure is dark back here, Ted. TED. Keep looking, gang. There must be a door around here somewhere. THELMA. Are you sure the performer said to meet up behind the theater, Ted? TED. I m pretty sure, Thelma. S/he said, Let s meet at the theater, and I said, Right in front? And s/he said, No, meet me at the stage door behind the building. TIFFANY. That s strange. Why wouldn t s/he just meet us out front? THELMA. S/he does have a performance tonight. Maybe s/ he s getting ready for the show. SPOOKY. A door. TIFFANY. What is it, Spooky? SPOOKY. A door! TIFFANY. Hey, everybody! Spooky found... ALL. A door! TED. This must be the door we re looking for. Good work, Spooky! Oh no! It s locked. TIFFANY. That means we can t open it! (MRS. WOODHAVEN enters.) SPOOKY. Sc-Sc-Sc-Sc-Scraggly! SCRAGGLY. Hey, I think Spooky s found something else! TIFFANY. What is it, Spooky? SPOOKY. (Howls.) MRS. WOODHAVEN. Who are you?

18 SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES SCRAGGLY. Like, we re nobody! MRS. WOODHAVEN. What are you doin meddlin around back here? TED. We re sorry, ma am. We re friends of the performer. MRS. WOODHAVEN. We don t allow no autograph hounds round here. SCRAGGLY. Uh oh! MRS. WOODHAVEN. Or any other kinda hounds neither! SPOOKY. Uh oh! (BIG WOODY enters.) BIG WOODY. What s all this racket out here? SCRAGGLY & SPOOKY. Uh oh! MRS. WOODHAVEN. I just caught some meddlers pokin around where nobody oughta be pokin! SCRAGGLY. Like, no one touched her! We swear! BIG WOODY. Alright, settle down. Who are you and what are you doing here? TED. We re friends of the performer. S/he called earlier tonight and told us to meet her/him here pronto! BIG WOODY. I m Mr. Woodhaven. I m the owner of this fair. You can call me Big Woody. And this is my wife, Mrs. Woodhaven. MRS. WOODHAVEN. And I m takin names. I want to know exactly who s been snoopin around my fairground. TIFFANY. Pleased to meet you ma am. Like, I m Tiffany, and this is Teddy. MRS. WOODHAVEN. Eh. THELMA. And, like, I m Thelma. SCRAGGLY. I m Scraggly. And this is our Great Dane

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