Ari Castillo - poems -

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Transcription:

Poetry Series - poems - Publication Date: 2009 Publisher: Poemhunter.com - The World's Poetry Archive

(10-5-92) 1

Abused Child what happens to the abused child after the abuse end? Do they forget the abused and move on? Or does the abused taunts them everyday? Can an Abused child ever forget being abused? If you asked me once you bein an abused child you wont be able to ever forget the abused 2

Am A Girl ii am a giirl who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to im the strength and determination of a giirl who follows her own path, who isn't thrown off by obstacles along the way. ii am a giirl whose confidence comes from experiences; who knows she can fall pick herself up and move on 3

Can'T You See? Can't you see? Don't you care I want to die? Don't you listen? Can't you hear My silent cry? Won't you turn? Can't you hold Me to your heart? Are you afraid of what might follow Once you start? Would you rather not believe I'm in such pain That all your sense and good advice Must be in vain? Would you rather tell yourself I'll be OK, And all this adolescent angst Will go away? Ah! Would I also swim across This lake alone! But if you cannot swim with me, I know I'll drown. 4

End Of Innocence Secrets, secrets Lies, lies She sits in her room, and cries and cries. There's no more trust In this girl's heart. She finally found out That life isn't perfect. She lived in dreams, As children often do. But she crawled out Into the world everyone knew. Things that once were. Happiness once known; The truth of it all To her was shown. Her little heart Will never trust again. She'll never know A real true friend. No more trust, For no more lies. She'll sit in her room And cry and cry 5

Help Me Please!!! Help me please understand why i was abused Why did my father hate? Beat me? Why did he take my hope, dreams away? Why did he take my faith in god? Why did he make me feel like their is no hope for me? Am i wrong for not loving him anymore? Am i wrong for not trying to understand him? Did i do wrong? Did i deserved this? Was the abused my fault? Will i ever recover from the abused? Please help me understand Why... 6

Hiding The Pain I hide the pain behind the smile on my face i can't take this pain anymore wish it was all over I hide the pain behind the smile on my face How i wish it was all over I hide the pain behind the smile on my face its like the place i have been hurt tries to heal and u just keep pullin the scar off it over and over I hide the pain behind the smile on my face I wish it was all over I hide the pain behind the smile on my face with a little pop i can end it all 7

I Have I have the eyes of innocence the face of an angel a personalty of a dreamer and a smile thats hides more pain than you can ever imagine 8

I Pray I heard u comin thru the door late at night i shiver in my bed and i pray i pray that tonight u go straigth to ur room but like every other night u come in to my room u lay next to me and am still prayin to god to help me u start to touch me and i try to move away but all u do is pull me closer as u touch my boby i pray pray for u to stop u can feel my heart beatin faster and u laugh u laugh at me and ask me if i think hes doing anything wrong u say u can touch me like that because ur my father and that ur not doing it in a bad wait i stay there silent prayin convicein me that ur right that ur not hurtin me but deep down i know what u are doing but i don't want to belive it becase i luv u and i wish u love me 2 so i stay there and pray to god to help me i wait until ur asleep then i get up and go to the couch and cry myself to sleep because i know what u doin to me and its killin me 9

I Was Only 14!! u woke me up in the middle of the night but this night was diffrent from the rest u didn't wake me up to hit or touch me u woke me up cause your scared of dieing i was only 14 u told me that the cocaine u took had somethin in it that wasn't right then u told me ur feel like if u go to sleep u were gonna die i was only 14 so i had to get up and try to convince u that everythin was gonna be alright i was only 14 i sat u down on the couch and sat down next to u n told u everythin gonna be alright i was only 14 i hugged u and rock u to sleep i was only 14 and u keep tellin me am gonna die am gonna die i was only 14 finally u felt asleep in my arms and i stay there crying and rocky u i was only 14 daddy - no child at that age should be put through what i/ve gone through please stop child abused because when a child its a bused they die inside 10

I Was Only 9!! i was only 9 when u stared to touch me daddy i was only 9 when u came into my room and stared to touch my body u told that you could do that daddy i was only 9 when u took my inocent away why daddy did u touch me beat me and hurt me why daddy if i was only 9 please stop child molestion because when u abused a child they feel like they just wanna die take my story as an example i was an abused child and am still not over the abused am dieing inside so stop the cicle of abused -ari 11

Lookin The In The Mirror Am looking in the mirror try to see or find something beautiful Am looking in the mirror and not reconizing what i see Am looking in the mirror and seeing a scared lil girl that need help to carry on Am looking in the mirror and seeing the face slowly start to dissaper slowly and slowing its gone Am looking in the mirror and seeing nothing there because am not alive anymore i've die inside Am looking in the mirror but nothing there 12

My New Best Friend Today i meet a great friend who knew me right away It was funny how she understood All i had to say She listen to my problems She listen to my dreams We talk about love and life She'd been there, too, it seems I never once felt judged by her She knew just how i felt She seemed to just accept me And all the problem I'd been dealt She didn't interrupt me or need to have to her say She just listen very patiently And didn't go away I wanted her to understand How much this meant to me But as i went to hug her Something startled me I put my arms in front of me And went to pull her nearer and i realize that my new best friend Was nothing but a Mirror 13

My New Best Friend The Blade i love my new best friend the blade It cuts the pain away out of my body I love my new best friend The blade As i cut into my skin a smile appears I love my new best friend the blade As the blood drip from my bestfriend I love my best friend the blade It takes the pain away for a short time Cant Wait to see my best friend 14

Pain Runs Through My Body Pain runs through my body, and I don't need anymore. Pain runs through my body, so leave me alone you whore. Pain runs through my blood, as I start to bleed. Pain runs through my body, and love is what I need. Pain runs through my body, everyday of my life. Pain runs through my body, as I pick up the knife. Pain runs through my body, as I put it through my chest. Pain runs through my body and I think you know the rest. 15

She Knowns Better Now shes not like that now. she knows better she knows now that people lie & promises can be broken as quickly as theyre made.. she understands that she might never be loved & too things can fly in front of your eyes before you can reach out and grab them. she knows that you can't change or help time so every now&then itll just run out. there isnt a place for everyone in the world!!! 16

Strength My mind, body and spirit are strong I take time each day to rejuvenate and recharge I draw from deep well of peace and calm I breathe in strength and release my fears I go after my heart's deep desires I can accomplish anything I focus on my goal and have the strength to make it happen I choose to be unstoppable I am strong I act in spite of my fears I am bigger than my concerns and worries I can do anything i put my mind to Each day i am getting stronger I can take care of myself The strength of others inspires me daily I trust my intuition and live a courageous life 17

The Girl That girl's broken inside&out Walking alone at night in the rain Nowhere to call home, No arms to run to She's hugging herself, Protecting herself against the cold She's been left behind once again She's giving up tonight. 18

The Rain The sky get's dark and the world becomes stark, The clouds surrounds the earth and the wheather has just gave birth, Lightnin launches down from the sky and raindrops fall down like a silent cry, Thunder screeches and shouts loud but anger and rage scatters the crowd, A storm was born and has been given life as swift and fast but also sharper then a knife, Rain pours from the sky and collides with the ground and the wind tears though earth and make a loud sound, The earth quakes because it's in pain but it can't run or hide from the power of the rain... 19

Theres A Place Theres a place... Theres a place where the sun always shine, theres a place where everything will be fine... Theres a place where the wheather will be warm, theres a place where there won't be a storm... Theres a place where there won't be a crime, theres a place where you can take your time... Theres a place where everyone will share, theres a place where everyone will care... Theres a place... Theres a place where it's so cold, theres a place where you will be so old... Theres a place where theres hate and pain, theres a place where it always will rain... Theres a place where there will be no good, theres a place where people will wish they could... Theres a place where you will die, theres a place where everyone will cry... Theres a place... 20

Traped Inside Traped inside... Traped inside and can't come out, no one there to hear me speak or shout... All alone and left to die, tears fall from my face like a silent cry... Dark and coldness surrounds me, evil controls what I hear speak or see... My heart aches from the pain I feel, my body can't move and everything around me becomes still... My body feels cold like I have no blood, i'm emotionless but I continue to cry a flood... My mind is out in the open and cannot hide, my soul is gone and has been traped deep down inside... 21

Trying To Escaped Mii Past Trying to escape the past... I'm back from the dead, trying to clear my mind and keep the pain out of my head... The world is moving slow as I climb out of my grave, sometimes you have to run from the past and stop being brave... Traped in between both worlds and don't know what to do, my soul is somewhere else but god forgot to take me to... My mind is corrupt and sad, I wish I can start all over and have the things I never had... There's no turning back from the dead, I can't escape the past because it left a mark in my head... When you mess up in life time always move fast, keep moving forward and soon all of this will be the past... 22