Dear Annette, I want to be able to move you on to the essay portion of this assignment, but significant revisions have not been made as instructed from your previous submission. You will struggle with writing your essay without a developed thesis statement and supporting details. You have a lot of excellent ideas in your introduction. Your claims: 1. The movie failed to show the extent of the racial divide in the town. 2. The movie failed to represent the coming of age of Scout. 3. The movie failed to represent the female perspective. You actually only need to choose one of these claims, although you can certainly tackle all three. They just need to be presented in one clear thesis statement. The elements of change that you will analyze between the book and the film: 1. Plot 2. Characters You need a third element that you will analyze. You could do point of view as you mention this in your body paragraphs. Now, all of these elements above must be presented in one clear thesis statement. For example, Because of significant changes in the plot, removal of poignant characters, and point of view, the film version of To Kill A Mockingbird fails at in comparison to the book which shows. Then your body paragraphs/outline must be developed to give context to the changes you are analyzing and then to show the significance of the changes and how your analysis supports the claim you make in your thesis. While you are contrasting the book and the film, you are also incorporating cause and effect (chapter 19). Because this change was made, the effect of the change is. Plot: Change 1 (context and analysis with specific examples from the book and film) Significance (how does the change support or prove your claim) Change 2 Significance Etc. Character: Change 1 Significance (and so on) Point of View:
Change 1 Significance (and so on) Resources: Using Comparison and Contrast Analyzing a Novel http://videos.pennfoster.com/index.html?vid=4644724424001 Graphic Organizers: Point By Point Organization (p. 373) Subject By Subject Organization (p. 374) Chapter 6: Developing and Supporting a Thesis, with special attention to Writing an Effective Thesis Statement on pp. 122-123) Review these instructions and the marginal comments below carefully. Revise accordingly and resubmit when you are ready. Warm Regards, English Instructor Penn Foster English 300: Advanced Composition Comparison and Contrast Prewriting ENG300: Advanced Composition Open Office Hours occurs several times. Please register for the date and time that works best for you: https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/rt/5628365219371211777. This is not a required webinar for the Advanced Composition course. It is also not a presentation. English instructor Rianna Karalunas will be available from 3:00-4:00 p.m. EST to answer questions about your Advanced Composition writing course. If you're enrolled in Advanced Composition and have questions about an assignment, please join us during our open office hours. After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the webinar. Thesis, Ideas, and Content -The thesis makes a focused claim that can be sustained in a longer essay. -The outline/organizer provides a close reading of book and film using comparison and contrast patterns of development. -The main points analyze the significance of the changes between book and film. Organization -Ideas are logically arranged and help move paper forward. -Each proposed main point is focused on one aspect of the topic and helps Pass Return
support the thesis statement. Style and Voice -Maintains a consistent point of view on topic -Proposed evidence will engage readers interest in the topic. Bibliography -Properly formatted using MLA guidelines. -Provided six potential outside sources for research. Conventions -The outline/organizer has been spell-checked and proofread to check for errors in word choice and typos. -The paper is reasonably free of errors that interfere with a reader s ability to understand the content. Format -The prewrite is developed as an outline or graphic organizer. - It includes all required information in a properly formatted header. Exam Number: 500505 Date: 8/24/17 Grade: Return Instructor: TM IMPORTANT NOTICE Along the right-hand side of your evaluated exam, you should see marginal or "bubble" comments from your instructor. You should also see a series of highlighted numbers in the evaluation chart identifying the rating you earned on each trait. If you don't see this feedback, click on the "View" tab and "Print Layout" or click on "Review" and the option "Final Showing Markup." If you still cannot see the feedback, please contact the school for the complete evaluation. Compare and Contrast: Movie- To Kill a Mockingbird. Introduction The movie To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee, 1960; Mulligan, 1962) is the 1962 adaptation of the eponymous 1960 best-selling, Pulitzer Award winning novel by Harper Lee. The film was directed by Robert Mulligan, and the screenplay was written by Horton Foote. The film version of the novel attempts to mirror the central topic of the novel, which deals mainly with racial
separation in the South throughout 31 chapters. Unfortunately, the movie takes away a lot of gravity from the main idea. While it masterfully characterized the hero, Atticus Finch, with the actor Gregory Peck, the movie version took away key moments in the novel that would have helped to understand the extent to which racism is so compelling in Maycomb. The movie also took away poignant characters that helped color the narrative. Finally, it also failed at showing the novel for what it is: a coming of age experience and a reality check on the ways of the world spoken from the perspective of a woman that witnessed racial separation at its worst. Therefore, the film version of To Kills a Mockingbird (Lee, 1960; Mulligan, 1962) did a poor job at representing the original novel. Key Differences This section will discuss the key differences between To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960), the book, and To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie. In the movie To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962), the characters were changed from the book in that there, not an Aunt Alexandra and there was more focus on Jem since he is male. In contrast, To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, Aunt Alexandra is so necessary to this novel because she demonstrates that racism can still occur in families that also produce men like Atticus. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, Calpurnia is nowhere near powerful as she is in the book. In fact, her character is totally diminished in the movie. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, Calpurnia is a beacon of respect, dignity and one of the most powerful agents in the book. It is a shame the movie did not give her more credit as a character. Commented [MTL1]: You have not revised this section as previously instructed. You do have great ideas here, but they need to be developed and re-structured so that you have a clear thesis statement. Your thesis must present a claim about the effect of the changes and show what changes between the book and the film you will use to prove your claim. Your claims: 1.The movie failed to show the extent of the racial divide in the town. 2.The movie failed to represent the coming of age of Scout. 3.The movie failed to represent the female perspective. You actually only need to choose one of these claims though you can certainly tackle all three. The changes: 1.Plot 2.Characters You need a third element that you will analyze. Now, all of these elements above must be presented in one clear thesis statement. For example, Because of significant changes in the plot, removal of poignant characters, and, the film version of To Kill A Mockingbird fails at in comparison to the book which shows. Commented [MTL2]: In what? Plot? Character? Each section (body paragraph of your essay) should identify an element of the book and film that you will analyze. For example: Plot: Change 1 Significance Change 2 Significance Etc. Character: Change 1... Commented [MTL3]: Proofread. This is confusing. Commented [MTL4]: Can you make this assumption? Commented [MTL5]: Give context on the characters. Do not assume that your reader knows who the characters are. Who is Jem and who is Aunt Alexandria? Commented [MTL6]: What about her demonstrates this? Give an example of her character. Commented [MTL7]: Who is she? Commented [MTL8]: But what did the movie do? Give a concrete example, and then discuss the significance of the change based on the claim you make in your thesis.
In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, the girl who played Scout is annoying in my opinion. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, Scout comes across as a mature, well-natured child that is different from that depicted in the Mulligan (1962) version. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, the point of view is slightly more towards Jem s coming of age and the key events in the book happened to Jem with the finding of the things Boo hid on the tree stump and in other places. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, the point of view is almost entirely from Scout s point of view. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, Ms. Stephanie is Dill s aunt and Mrs. Maudie and Rachel are blended into one character. Ms. Dubose is only briefly mentioned in Commented [MTL9]: As previously instructed, this is subjective. How does her being annoying to you support a claim that you make in your thesis? Commented [MTL10]: As previously noted, this actually contradicts your idea that the coming of age theme is not well represented in the film. Was Scout mature throughout the whole book and was she annoying throughout the whole movie? What concrete changes were made that prove a claim in your thesis? Commented [MTL11]: Point of view would be a possible third element that you could add to your thesis. You must develop this more though so that you analyze specific examples about the changes (use quotes or summary of scenes) and then discuss the significance of these changes in relation to your thesis. the movie. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, Ms. Dubose s story of drug addiction is a very powerful one that has no impact in the movie. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, Tom Robinson has a father and Commented [MTL12]: This would fall under the subheading of character. his children. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, Tom Robinson is only briefly mentioned and nowhere does it mentions that Tom has a father. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, incest is not mentioned. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, incest is hinted at during the trial. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, the awesome scene where Mayella is offended by being called Commented [MTL13]: Character change. What is the significance? Commented [MTL14]: Plot change. What is the signicance? ma am, is omitted. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, Mayella gets offended by being called ma am by Atticus which is actually a sign of respect. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie there was no time for the full final Commented [MTL15]: What is the significance? Ask yourself so what? argument of Atticus. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, Atticus s final powerful
closing argument in the trial is complete. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, classroom incidents are omitted so we do not get to learn about Miss Caroline or the issues with the Ewell child is not witnessed. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, Miss Caroline is a symbol of prejudice and condescension. She is necessary for the story but omitted in the movie. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, the narrative is omniscient except for one scene. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, the narrative comes from Scout entirely. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, there is not a scene of Calpurnia taking the children to church. Also in In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, the tree hole gets filled up by Jem and Scout by Mr. Nathan. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, they do not see Mr. Nathan do this in the book. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Mulligan, 1962) the movie, when Jem loses his pants, he goes and gets them right away, and Mr. Radley comes out with a gun. In To Kill a Mocking Bird (Lee, 1960) the book, when Jem loses his pants, he waits until night time to get them because he is so embarrassed. Conclusion The movie version of To Kill a Mockingbird (Mulligan, 1962) in no way illustrates the depth and importance of the topic of racism the way the novel version does. In the novel, Harper Lee used characters that help color and accentuate the atmosphere of anger and antipathy that existed in the air during the trial of Tom Robinson, and then after. Key events from the novel were omitted. One of the most salient moments ignored in the movie was the shocking, angry reaction of Mayella Ewell when Atticus Finch respectfully refers to her as ma am. In the
novel, moments like this help the reader understand the degree of ignorance with which so many people conduct their lives. Also, the lacking of characters such as Aunt Alexandra and Ms. Caroline take away from the experience of the children who are witnessing what is going on. These two characters would have been excellent accents in the movie, even if they only spoke one line. Still, that one line would have shown the prejudice of the women and how it extended throughout the town. Perhaps the most painful part of the movie is how it disintegrated the character of Calpurnia. Calpurnia is a strong, motherly, and amazing woman who teaches the kids about respecting others. She is the antithesis of Maycomb and, still, the movie version places her in the position of the help of the household and nothing more. Finally, aside from scenes missing, such as the redemption of Mrs. Dubose, there is the point of view. The movie ignored the fact that the narrative comes strictly from an adult Scout, who is retelling the events from Maycomb as she witnessed them when she was a young girl. She changed as a result of these events; they marked her forever. Still, Hollywood kept the main focus of the story on the Commented [MTL16]: This is actually a great start to analysis here, but this should be in the body of your outline, not the conclusion. A lot of your details in this paragraph should be moved to the body of your outline. Conclusions give an overview of the main points and summarize evidence and wrap up with insight into the topic. Conclusions should not contain additional analysis or new ideas that have not been presented in the body of the essay. main character and essentially told the story from Scout s brother s point of view, as if it was his coming of age epiphany. In all, the movie attempted to cover 31 chapters in one hour and 45 minutes. Plus, movies are for entertaining, much more than for lecturing. It is almost always the case that movies do not do justice to the original books that they bring to life.
Bibliography Lee, Harper. To kill a mockingbird. Philadelphia: Lippincott, 1960. Mulligan, Robert. (Director). To Kill a Mockingbird [Motion picture]. USA: Universal, 1962. Tavernier-Courbin, J. "Humor, and Humanity in To Kill a Mockingbird" in On Harper Lee: Essays and Reflections Alice Petry (ed.), University of Tennessee Press, 2014. Zipp, Y. Scout, Atticus & Boo, The Christian Science Monitor, 2014.