THE CLOSET Because a shoe is never just a shoe Cast of Characters 2 women, both in their 40s. Eight years apart. Caroline The older sister. A married stay-at-home mom with three children. She is wearing mom-clothes and ballerina flats. Erin The younger sister. Single, owns and runs her own design studio. She is wearing a high-end outfit and stylish heels. Scene Erin s house, and particularly Erin s closet downstage, where an imagined floor-to-ceiling wall of shoe cubbies is the 4 th wall between actors and audience.
1 AT RISE: A dimly lit downstage with shoe boxes stacked 2-3 high, along with a few stray shoes lying on the floor. Small stool to reach high shelves. and enter upstage, another part of the house. This sisters night out is wa-ay overdue, and a burger and a beer is just what the doctor ordered. Should we take your car or mine? You mean the minivan? (beat) Uh, I ll drive. (looks at s outfit up and down) But first, you are coming with me. (pulls by the arm and heads down stage) Where are we going? We re gonna find you the perfect pair of shoes to go with that--what you re wearing. Erin, I m perfectly happy with the ones I have on. You re killing me, Caroline. Come on, admit it: I got all the good taste genes in our family. (they arrive downstage) OK. (turns on the closet light with her cell phone) How did you do that? (then is distracted by the shoe wall. Looks up, down, left and right to show the dimensions) Whoa! (starts hunting for a certain pair of shoes) I know they re here somewhere think I saw them just the other day. Maybe...
2 Whoa. What whoa? (still stunned, drops limply onto the stool) (still looking through the shoes) Just (beat) whoa. (beat) This. (beat) Closet. (points at the shoe boxes and reads) Garavani, Blahnik, Cucinelli -maybe they re down here... (opens some boxes on the floor) Erin, how on earth did you end up with so many shoes? I bought them. One pair at a time. (beat, reconsiders) Sometimes two. (beat, admitting) Occasionally three. But who needs Don t judge me, Caroline. I m not judging-- Oh yes you are. You re thinking How can my idiot sister possibly have this many I didn t say that. You damn well did. With your whoa and your body language and that Mom-expression on your face. Who could possibly walk into this closet without saying whoa?
3 Me. Every day. Instead of whoa I say, (in one breath) Would the Christian Loubouton kitten heels or the McQueen sling-backs work better with that Roland Mouret pencil skirt I just bought to go with my Burberry cashmere tee. Whoa. (under her breath, backing off) You know, not everything I say is meant to solicit your opinion. CAROLINA Isn t a big sister just a wee bit entitled to worry about what her little sister is throwing her money away on? People call it spending, Caroline. Stimulating the economy. (beat) You might try it sometime. You don t think I spend money? (looks at s clothes) Mmm, not really. That s because you have no idea how expensive it is to have kids. Whenever I think there s a little something to put away toward a family vacation or a romantic weekend, I am required instead to fuel the economy at the orthodontist, the youth soccer league or the kids department at Walmart. I spend plenty. Just not on shoes. Sounds awful It may not be as glamorous or trendy... I get it. I get it. You live a prudent, sensible, pedestrian life while the prodigal sister purchases wa-a-ay too much footwear.
4 I don t know why every time I show a little concern Oh, sorry, was that concern? --it turns into a dismissal of the career I have chosen. (gasp) Who could possibly dismiss the stimulating career of the stay-at-home-mom? Hey, a stay-at-home-mom raised you, me, Tyler and Alex and if she were still alive I don t think she d appreciate your contempt for the choice she made. She was very happy-- Wait, did you say happy? Yes. Why? Because I remember our mother as sad. (beat) Unfulfilled. (snide) Not enough shoes for you? Not enough life for me. (beat, correcting) For her--a person whose potential was never realized, largely due to Dad s archaic ideas about women and careers, and her own lack of will to resist him. Or us, for that matter. Spoiled little bloodsuckers that we were. Did you and I grow up in the same family? Technically, yes, but you know what they say--you can never step into the same river twice. Meaning...
5 By the time I came along they were a different mom and dad Don t be ridiculous. --people who d already had three kids. Who keenly felt the pinch of living on one rather unspectacular income. That s the price of having a family. But the smart, talented woman who once had--dare I say it, dreams?--tossed them all out the window and decided that being tied down with an infant was something she just had to do...again and again and again and You saying there s something wrong with that? No. Then what? It s just not the only option. For Mom, for you, for me. (beat) Personally, I want more. (snide, references the shoes) Well (beat) I can certainly see that. Now there s that old familiar sting of Caroline judgment. I wasn t the one judging our mother. That was you. And though it may not be much of a résumé, Mom s happiest moments were just being there --for all of us. Recitals, graduations, track meets. Report cards. (beat, teasing) Well, mine anyway.
6 The Mom I knew always seemed (beat) disappointed. The Mom I knew kept her eyes on the things that mattered. Things besides shoes. She bought plenty of shoes. Just not for herself. Remember those black loafers with that godawful white stitching? CAROLINA Even I thought they were atrocious. She wore them til the threads unraveled and the soles gave out. CAROLINA But...she also had that one pair of kick-ass heels. Black dyed silk, with that narrow little ankle strap Sexy Mama shoes! I d slip into her closet and walk around in them every chance I got. Made me feel like I could take on the world. She wore them to those dances at the Armory. With that black dress that sat slightly off her shoulders, cinched waist, skirt tapering below the knee. Carrying Grandma s beaded clutch. (beat) She d hum. Mom? (da da dums the first line then remembers--) The Way We Were. She loved that song.
7 I don t remember Mom singing. Guess things got busy by the time you came along. (horrified) Too busy for singing? Mom didn t mind. How do you know? Because I m a Mom. Oh, right. Look, every day it s something. Chip s soccer games, Emily s band practice, Jake s wrestling. Who has time for Singing?!?! (Beat) Anything. CAROLINA It just breaks my heart a little. For her. For you. If Mom were here, she d tell you, it has its rewards. Maybe it s not the dream we started out with but it s not quite as tragic as you think. Look, maybe I don t have wrestling and soccer and little lives to mold, but I have responsibilities. Challenges. Stress. And when I walk into work in a new pair of Jimmy Choos...it makes me feel like I own the place. You do own the place.
8 I know, but some days following the dream feels like an uphill climb in the wrong pair of shoes. Erin, you ve got a successful business. I have three works in progress that I pray every day will turn out I know! Just like you! No!! (beat) Like you. I hope those kids take on the world with your courage, your drive, your determination. You do? Yeah. I m proud of my little sister. Guess mentioning that is probably also wa-ay overdue. And I know Mom felt the same. How do you Because I m a Mom. Weren t you paying attention? (they laugh, she changes the subject) Hey, you know, Jake s wrestling matches are actually kind of fun to watch. Seriously? And you re always welcome to join us for soccer. Every Saturday morning. Though you might need a pair of flats or waterproof boots. (mocking impression) I just hate it when my stilettos drill down into the soccer field every time it rains. I have a killer pair of Aquatalias around here somewhere.
9 Killer rain boots. (beat) Why not? (finds the shoes she s been looking for) Ah! Here s what I ve been looking for! Lucky for you we re both size eight. (hands the box to ) Whoa. Whoa? (opens box and is surprised by her own reaction) (suspicious, ready to be insulted again) They re (beat) beautiful. Yes they are. CAROLINA But (beat) we re only going down the road for a burger and a beer. Don t you think this might be overkill? Carpe diem big Sis. Every outing is another opportunity to show the world just how fi-i-ine you are. (tries on shoes and has a Cinderella moment) They re (beat) perfect. How d you know? I m a designer. (beats) It s what I do. And judging is what I do? I think we both got the judging gene. You know (beat) these shoes? They make me feel--.
10 --like you can take on the world. Ye-yah. ( Yeah in two syllables) (takes on the mom-tone) You know they wouldn t last a minute on the soccer field. Yeah. But they might heat things up in the bedroom. Oh, I didn t hear that. Think Mom ever wore those black strappy heels, you know I m leaving. You realize you re never getting these back. I know. But it s small price to pay. For what? Grabbing a burger and a beer with my kick-ass big sister. Come on. Let s show the world just how fi-i-ine we are. (raises her cell; lights out in the closet as starts to walk back upstage) (from the dark closet) Erin? Yeah? Is there a purse that goes with these? (LIGHTS OUT. END OF PLAY.)