100 Unit 5 Unit 5 Refusing in Japanese A refusal can be a response to a request, an invitation, an offer, or a suggestion. What is common to most refusals is the fact that the speaker is communicating a potentially undesirable message as far as the listener is concerned. What strategies then should be used to mitigate a refusal in Japanese? Are there any unwritten rules you should know in making and interpreting refusals in Japanese?
Refusing in Japanese 101 Warm-up 1. Role-play the following situation in pairs, using your first language. Approach a good friend of yours and invite him/her to a party you are throwing at your apartment next weekend. A good friend of yours invites you to a party at his/her place but you are unable to go. 2. Discuss some characteristics of the language used in the role-play. For example, what information did A give to invite B? What expression did B use to refuse the invitation? Did B give any excuse? Did B do anything to ensure A s feelings weren t hurt? Would A invite B again in the future? Why/why not? 3. Imagine what this situation might sound like in Japanese and role-play with your partner.
102 Unit 5 Exercise 1: Observing accepting and refusing invitations in Japanese Refusing an invitation or a request, unlike accepting one, isn t usually such a pleasant speech function to perform. What strategies can you use in Japanese to build and maintain an amiable relationship despite the fact that you are refusing an offer or a request that someone is extending to you? 1. Let s listen to two sets of sample dialogues and compare each set to identify how the conversations flow. Word bank 1. hot pot (party) 2. regarding/about... 3. to be excused/absent A good friend of yours at college invites you to a nabe party at her place next weekend. Listening 1 Listening 2
Refusing in Japanese 103 Last week, the instructor for your seminar invited the class to an informal party to be held two weeks later. Since she announced it to the class last week, she now wants to know how many of the students can attend. When she runs into you on campus, she asks you if you will be able to come. Listening 3 Listening 4 2. As you probably noticed, Listening 1 and 3 are examples of accepting an invitation, while Listening 2 and 4 are examples of refusals. In order to note the differences between accepting and refusing an invitation, write down the statements used in each dialogue to either accept or refuse the invitation. Accepting an invitation Refusing an invitation 3. What are some similarities and differences you have noticed in the language of accepting and refusing an invitation? Pay attention to the speakers expressions and tone.
104 Unit 5 Exercise 2: Observing the context of refusals This time, let s focus on refusing a request. Unlike invitations, which normally bring some benefit to the listener, requests usually only benefit the speaker. The speaker is asking a favor of the listener. 1. In the two situations below, two speakers come up to you individually and each asks a favor of you. Write your responses as if you were speaking to them in real life. Word bank 1. to collapse, be sick in bed 2. to form a bad habit You ve just begun to work part-time in a Western-style family restaurant, and don t know any of your co-workers very well yet. Your boss, who is the owner of the restaurant, is a man in his late 50s. Today, your boss asks if you can cover for a co-worker tomorrow who just called in sick with the flu. In fact, you have a date scheduled for the first time in three weeks. You know that your date would understand, but you want to avoid working tomorrow if possible.
2. Refusing in Japanese 105 Now listen to a sample dialogue in this situation and write down how the refusal is made. Listening 5 3. Let s try another situation. Your roommate is a good friend of yours, but she sometimes asks you to loan her money and doesn t necessarily pay it back promptly. Today again, she asks you to lend her 3000 yen. Because she still hasn t paid you back from the last few times you lent her money, you want to decline her request this time. Besides that, you don t really have any extra money you can give her at the moment.
106 Unit 5 4. Listen to a sample dialogue of this situation and write down the refusal used. Listening 6 5. A dialogue between two close friends may be a lot more direct. Listen to this example. Now let s observe the context. listener s status (social status, age, gender) lower Listening 7 higher social/psychological distance close distant impact of the refusal, stakes involved minor major listener s status (social status, age, gender) lower higher social/psychological distance close distant impact of the refusal, stakes involved minor major
Refusing in Japanese 107 As indicated in the charts above, you are interacting with a boss, someone older and of higher social status than you, in Scenario 1, and with a close, equal-status friend in Scenario 2. So there is a difference in the levels of status and acquaintance between Scenarios 1 and 2. However, the impact of the refusals may be comparable. Both of your conversation partners will be in some sort of trouble if you refuse their requests. So you may say that the impact of the refusals is somewhat major for both situations. 6. Considering these important situational factors, what are the differences in the language used to make the refusals in the two sample dialogues? Exercise 3: Reasons for refusals Now let s take a closer look at the language of refusals in Japanese. Offering some vague, generic reason for your refusal is often appropriate behavior in Japanese. What are the typical expressions, and when are they used instead of more specific ones? Listen to and read the following short dialogues and choose the most likely description of the reason used (a d) for each refusal below.
108 Unit 5 Word bank 1. to come to work 2. hometown, countryside 3. house-sitting a. Generic reason used for someone older/of higher status b. Generic reason used for someone of equal/lower status c. Specific reason used for someone older/of higher status d. Specific reason used for someone of equal/lower status () Listening 8 1. Listening 9 2. Listening 10 3. Listening 11 4. Listening 12 5. Listening 13 Refusal Exchanges Answer b
Exercise 4: Making your refusals incomplete Refusing in Japanese 109 As funny as it may sound, a commonly used strategy among effective speakers of Japanese is leaving their sentence(s) incomplete. What does this mean, and how is it done? For example, instead of saying the following... 1. I have plans next Wednesday. Listening 14 2. Because I have plans next Wednesday, I cannot come. Listening 15... Japanese speakers will often leave their refusal sentence incomplete. 3. These all mean: Because I have plans next Wednesday..., I have plans next Wednesday, so.... Listening 16
110 Unit 5 Leaving the sentence incomplete allows you to sound less assertive, more hesitant, and more considerate of your conversational partner. In addition, the negative portion ( I can t come ) is implied in the excuse and can easily be inferred from the context. The following exercise will help you practice this strategy to make your refusal more acceptable. Read each of the complete sentences on the left and practice turning them into incomplete sentences on the right. Then, listen to the possible incomplete sentences to confirm your answers. Complete Sentences () Listening 17 1. Listening 18 2. Listening 19 3. Listening 20 4. Listening 21 5. Listening 22 Incomplete Sentences ()
Exercise 5: Refusing insistent requests/invitations Refusing in Japanese 111 Despite your initial refusal, some people may pursue their agenda a little further and try to get you to help or to accept their invitation/offer. You may find yourself in a dilemma, wanting to help or accept it, yet knowing that it is impossible. What are some strategies for dealing with such situations without hurting or offending your conversational partner s feelings? Listen to the sample dialogues below to identify a range of effective refusal strategies and the language being used. Word bank 1. end-of-year party 2. to come/show up 3. New Year s party 4. in-house 5. club (for college students) 6. international relations 7. most, main, essential 8. piece of cake, very easy You are a new part-time employee at a local restaurant. Today the boss invites you to an in-house bounenkai in two weeks. Although he seems to expect all employees to be present at his party, you have another end-of-year party with your club members being held at the same time, and you have already committed yourself to attending it.
112 Unit 5 1. Now listen to the dialogue and pick out three of the strategies the second speaker uses while refusing the invitation. Write down the strategies used on the left and the actual language that realizes those strategies on the right. Strategy 1 Strategy 2 Strategy 3 Strategies Listening 23 Expressions 2. Listen to another sample dialogue and write down a new strategy used in this dialogue. Listening 24
Refusing in Japanese 113 You attend most of your classes regularly and take pretty good notes. A friend of yours, Satoshi, takes a class with you on international relations, which is taught in English. He is a close friend, but the only problem is that he often misses classes and asks you for your notes. Since the class is discussion-based, you really don t think your notes are very helpful. Besides, you don t think it is fair for him to depend on you this way, nor does it help his English any since he clearly needs some practice with the language. 3. Now let s listen to Listening 25 and analyze the strategies used in making the refusal. Strategy 1 Strategies Listening 25 Expressions
114 Unit 5 Strategy 2 Strategy 3 4. Listen to another sample dialogue and write down a new strategy used in this dialogue. Listening 26 Exercise 6: Refusing offers Now we will take a look at refusing an offer. First, you will be asked to observe the language of making and accepting an offer. This is because knowing a common structure for making an offer will help you to become strategic in the act of refusal. In this exercise, the first speaker is the host, who keeps offering more food to his/her guest. Listening 27 Word bank 1. second helping 2. beef and potatoes (a typical home dish) 3. to be shy/reserved 4. my treat (male) 5. oolong tea (a kind of Chinese tea)
Refusing in Japanese 115 In fact Listening 27 is an example of thankfully and humbly accepting an offer of food, not refusing it. While in some cultures the guest may not be so shy about getting more food, some Japanese speakers may prefer to appear reserved at first before finally accepting more food, especially on formal occasions or in distant relationships ( ritual refusal before accepting an offer). Since accepting an offer works in favor of the guest in Japanese culture, it is a modest (and often favorable) gesture to gradually reveal one s true intentions in negotiation with the host. However, this ritual refusal routine makes it difficult to make an actual refusal when you really don t want any more food! 1. This exercise will focus on refusing offers politely and graciously. Read Scenario 1 and write what you would say in this situation. You have been living with your host family in Japan for only a few days. At dinner, when you are about to finish your plate, your host mother offers you a second helping.
116 Unit 5 2. Now listen to Listening 28 and compare it with your answer. Listening 28 3. Now let s take a closer look at the discourse structure. Take a look at the transcripts of Listening 27 and 28, closely examine them, and then discuss the following in a small group: a. What are the speakers doing in each turn? Choose the function(s) that best describes each turn from those given below. You may choose the same function more than once. functions: offer compliment insistent offer response to the offer/compliment offer offer
Refusing in Japanese 117 b. How many turns does it take to realize the acceptance/refusal sequence? c. Was the acceptance/refusal realized directly or indirectly in each turn? Why do you think so? d. Based on the way the offer acceptance/refusal sequence is realized, how would you characterize the relationship between the speakers? How close or distant are they? How formal or informal is the situation? 4. Role-Play: Now find a partner and role-play this dialogue. Switch your roles and then discuss what you think you did well, how the host mother would most likely interpret your refusal, and what you find difficult in this task. Several good friends of yours are treating you to dinner for your birthday. They offer to order you even more food and drink, but you ve already had enough.
118 Unit 5 5. Write what you would say to your friend in this situation. 6. Listen to the sample dialogues and compare them with your answer. Listening 29 Listening 30 7. Now find a partner and role-play this dialogue. Switch your roles and then discuss what you think you did well, how the friend would most likely interpret your refusal, and what you find difficult in this task. Coffee break Even among good friends, sometimes it is a challenge to preach! Listen to this unsuccessful dialogue by our voice actors! Listening 31
Exercise 7: More refusal strategies Refusing in Japanese 119 In previous exercises, we have learned some of the refusal strategies commonly used by fluent speakers of Japanese. Some examples are: giving a reason, presenting an alternative, and promising future acceptance. We have also looked at some linguistic strategies, such as typical expressions for giving reasons and making ritual refusals before accepting an offer, and the use of incomplete sentences. This exercise will review these strategies and introduce others that are commonly used. As you read the description of each strategy on the right, think of some expressions that you could say using that strategy. Then, read the examples on the left and match them with the most suitable strategy descriptions on the right by drawing lines. 1. Word bank a. I m sorry, but... Listening 32 1. to consider/examine 2. to participate b. If you could send it via e-mail, I would be able to see it... Listening 33 c. It seems impossible to make myself available that day... Listening 34 i. Giving a reason ii. Apologizing/ expressing regret iii. Offering an alternative
120 Unit 5 2. a. I ll consider it. Listening 35 b. I m sorry, but... Listening 36 c. I ll be sure to participate next time. Listening 37 d. Won t the following weekend work? Listening 38 e. I ve bought a ticket to a movie (for that day). Listening 39 f. * It is a little difficult. Listening 40 i. Apologizing/ expressing regret ii. Postponing a response iii. Promising future acceptance iv. Giving a reason v. Refusing indirectly/ euphemistically vi. Offering an alternative * Although this expression can be used simply as a comment and not as a refusal, unless an alternative or more information is provided, it is often meant to serve as a refusal.
Exercise 8: Tone of refusals Refusing in Japanese 121 As with the other speech acts, your tone of voice when making a refusal is crucial it could make your refusal sound sincere or insincere. Listen and practice these tone-related strategies so that your refusals will signal that you really wish you could do otherwise. Listening 41 44 Listening 45 49 Listening 50 52 Listening 53 55 Often speakers use certain phrases to alert the listener to the upcoming refusal. This prepares the listener for the negative response that is on its way and is done with a hesitant tone of voice. While presenting an indirect refusal or a reason for the refusal, speakers are likely to leave the refusal sentence incomplete or talk hesitantly (e.g., using hedging expressions such as ano um, iyaa well, um, and uun well, um, and euphemistic or non-assertive expressions). These strategies help to create a humble tone. While making a refusal, it may be important to state some positive feelings about the invitation/offer even if you are not accepting it. An apology helps to present a refusal in a sincere tone.
122 Unit 5 When a Japanese speaker is refusing a major request or invitation from someone who is older or of higher status than them, you might see him/her bow while apologizing for the refusal. Also, it softens your tone if you make ritual refusals before accepting an offer. Exercise 9: Summary exercise In the final two exercises, 9 and 10, let s practice all that we have learned about refusals! You will be asked to self-evaluate the refusals you have given in these exercises. A good friend of yours, Kunie, approaches you after class and asks if you could meet with her and edit her English paper this evening. You want to help her, but you have to study for your biology final exam tomorrow. You remember that when you helped her last time, it took a good two hours. Her paper this time seems even longer, so you really don t have time for it tonight.
Refusing in Japanese 123 1. Discourse Completion: Write what you would say to Kunie in this situation. (give a reason for the refusal you have an exam yourself tomorrow) (apologize and refuse again) (offer an alternative or two to help her) 2. Self-Evaluation: Listen to the sample dialogue and evaluate your responses by filling in the chart below. Read the instructions in each column and write down an appropriate response in the box. Fill in this column as you listen to the sample dialogue. Write down what the second speaker says in response to Kunie. Listening 56 Compare your responses to those in the left-hand column. Self-evaluate the appropriateness of your choices and your use of refusal strategies.
124 Unit 5 a. (give a reason for the refusal) Strategies used: Making a direct/indirect refusal Giving a reason Using an appropriate level of politeness b. (apologize and refuse again) Strategies used: Making a direct/indirect refusal Speaking hesitantly c. (offer an alternative to help her) Strategies used: Giving an alternative
Refusing in Japanese 125 Here is another sample dialogue for some more variety. Listening 57 3. Role-Play: Now find a partner and role-play the dialogue you just heard. Switch your roles and then exchange your evaluations of the dialogue. Discuss what you think you did well and any questions or confusions you may still have about refusals. Exercise 10: Summary exercise You have been working part-time for about a month in a local restaurant. Your boss, the owner of the restaurant, is in his/her late 50s. S/he likes classical music, and tells you today that s/he is looking for someone to go to a concert with, since his wife/her husband and friends are not big on classical music. Although you belong to a music club at the university, you are not a big fan of classical music either. Also, you have heard that concerts are very expensive in Japan and that you need to dress up for a classical one. You decide to refuse his/her invitation.
126 Unit 5 1. Dialogue: What would most Japanese speakers say in refusing this offer? Word bank 1. to have extra... 2. poor at/weak in, not appreciative about 3. emergency, urgent matter Listening 58 2. Your Intention: How would you like to convey your refusal in this situation? Choose the most appropriate answer below and give your reason. a. I want to make a refusal the way most people do in Japanese. b. I would want my refusal to sound (a little) more (formal/informal), (polite/impolite), or than most other people but still within the range of acceptable behavior. c. d. I choose not to use common behavior because I want to communicate my intentions (or not communicate them at all) in my own way. Specify what Japanese norms you decide not to use and why you don t want to. Other ()
Refusing in Japanese 127 3. Discourse Completion: So, what would you say? Complete the following dialogue. 4. Self-Evaluation a. Evaluation of contextual factors What is your relative social status and age, the level of familiarity with your boss, and the nature of his/her invitation? Place an X on each line where you think it best characterizes the context. low Social status (S) b. high Distance (D) Impact of the refusal (I) close distant Intention and interpretation minor major Listener s Interpretation: Consider your language, including hedging expressions, intensifiers, and tone. How do you think your refusal sounds to your boss considering the situation? Choose the one that would most likely represent your boss s reactions. Then, explain why you think that is the case.
128 Unit 5 S/he would be willing to let you off the hook and still likes you because... S/he would accept your refusal but may feel a bit awkward because... S/he may not accept your refusal or may feel rejected and hurt because... Here is another sample dialogue for more variety. Listening 59 5. Role-Play: Now find a partner and role-play this dialogue. Switch your roles and then exchange your evaluations about the success of the dialogue. Discuss with the whole class what you have learned about refusals in Japanese and any questions or confusions you might still have. Conclusion Let s review all the refusal strategies we have seen in the exercises. Note that some are general strategies that can be applied not only to refusals but also to other speech functions.
Checklist for refusing in Japanese Refusing in Japanese 129 1. Abiding by the cultural norms for refusing Using generic reasons when appropriate (2, 3, 10) Using a white lie as a face-saving strategy ( 2) 2. Speaking honestly with close friends ( 2, 3) Making ritual refusals before accepting an offer ( 6) Matching language use with context Using appropriate refusing expressions according to the conversational partner and the situation () Using an appropriate level of politeness throughout the interaction () 3. Using strategies of refusals Making direct/indirect refusing statements () Giving a reason for the refusal ( 2, 5, 7, 9, 10) Offering an alternative ( 5, 7, 9) Apologizing/expressing regret ( 5, 7, 8, 9, 10) Promising future acceptance ( 5, 7) Making an unspecific reply ( 7) Postponing a response ( 7) Providing positive comments ( 5, 8) 4. Using an appropriate tone of voice Alerting the listener to the upcoming refusal ( 8) Speaking hesitantly ( 8, 9, 10) Stating positive feelings ( 5, 7, 8) Apologizing ( 5, 7, 8, 9) Leaving the refusal sentence incomplete ( 4, 8, 10) Using bows in formal refusals ( 8) Making ritual refusals before accepting an offer ( 6, 8)
130 Unit 5 Learning strategies for pragmatics 1. Finding someone, a native or non-native expert of the culture, who can answer your questions about linguistic or cultural norms 2. Listening to other Japanese speakers carefully to observe the cultural norms and language of their speech. Coming up with your own hypotheses or hunches regarding appropriate use of the target language and being willing to renew them as necessary 3. Finding other resources that can inform you about the target language and culture