L Tam s Pocket Glossary of Drowning Mouth Speak Assessment: Every villager s least favorite time of year. During Assessment, Earl Longchance s officials visit and inspect each and every place of business, levying fines for noncompliance with the Laws of Longchance. Assessment keeps the village s (and the Earl s) coffers full for a rainy day. These days, the Earl s reserves are rich enough to handle a decade of monsoons. Beyond the Shale: Many a villager longs for the tranquility of the woods and a nap under the trees, surrounded by gentle woodland creatures. Nap under one of this forest s ominous pines and you re likely to get your eyes pecked out by a buzzard. Bog Noblins: An off-color village joke: What has bad breath, one eye, and likes to eat children? Answer: A Bog Noblin with a stick in its eye. Villagers comedic sensibilities still need some refinement. 383
N384 THE LUCK UGLIES Cackle Fruit: Nothing fancy, just chicken eggs. They also happen to be Lottie O Chanter s favorite food. Daughters of Longchance: Known for their poor cooking, lack of any noticeable sense of humor, and high-pitched voices that traumatize dogs and infants. However, given their status in society, they are useful to have around during Assessment and are therefore highly desired brides. Gloaming Beasts: These creatures are most likely to be spotted, if at all, stalking through the twilight in search of their unwitting prey. Gloaming Beasts are masters of disguise and clever, wanton killers when inspired. Fortunately, they find humans to be oddly amusing, and may sometimes even adopt one or more as pets. Hooks: A popular card game that involves the exchange of cards through a series of bluffs, cajoles, and threats until, one by one, players are eliminated as they swallow the hook. The best Hooks players can become quite wealthy assuming they can find anyone willing to play with them. It is widely known that success in Hooks is directly related to one s ability to cheat.
Tam s Pocket Glossary of Drowning Mouth Speak 385 N Link Rat: A link rat and a feral skunk are likely to receive the same reception at a villager s door, but a good link rat knows every nook, cranny, and hiding place in Drowning. The link rat s services can be indispensable to a villager who has a need to disappear. Luck Uglies: Who? Never heard of them. Really. Not the foggiest clue who you re talking about. O There: The rich and prosperous hub of the Kingdom located on the far side of the sea. Nobody in Drowning has actually been O There, but it s said that even the sewers smell like apricots, all the men wear shoes, and the maidens have all their teeth. Pigshanks: A bad word. Use it, and your mother is likely to scrub your tongue with soap and a horse brush. The Pot: Lottie O Chanter s chamber pot. The youngest O Chanter has proven difficult to potty train and is just as likely to squat in a pillowcase, a boot, or Abby O Chanter s herb garden. The Shambles: The roughest district in the village sits along the banks of the River Drowning, bathed in a broth
N386 THE LUCK UGLIES of grog, bogwash, and sailor sweat. The neighborhood is home to the Dead Fish Inn: where nobody knows your name and that s just how its guests like it. The Shivers: Neither cure nor cause of this epidemic disease has been determined, although theories have included Bog Noblin bites, going out in the rain without a hat, and pooping too close to the town water supply. The Treaty of Stormwell: Legend says that the written peace treaty between the Luck Uglies and the House of Longchance earned its name because, in a final act of defiance, Grimshaw the Black (then High Chieftain of the Luck Uglies) threw the hat of Earl Ascot Longchance down a stormwell just before signing. Turkeyhole: Another bad word. Call someone a turkeyhole and you re likely to get a foot in yours. Wirry: A mischievous ghost or spirit. Wirries are often said to haunt basements, attics, graveyards, and other places where children don t belong. Wirry Scares: These wooden stick people were originally built by rural villagers to scare away wirries,
Tam s Pocket Glossary of Drowning Mouth Speak 387 N Bog Noblins, and other nasties that go bump in the night. Over time, Wirry Scares have been adopted as traditional Black Moon Party decorations, and for the most part scare only those Black Moon revelers who ve drunk too much wine.