MATT MAHER TELLS THE EPISODE WITH HELP FROM MARIA DIZZIA AND JENNY MORRIS MM: The Episode starts with Bart getting letters saying I m going to kill you Bart JM: but doesn t Lisa doesn t she have a pen pal or something? MD: oh MM: no MM: that s something uh yes she has a pen pal that s like a that s a other yes it starts with them both having then she has a pen JM: then she has a pen pal from someone in some Asian country MM: yes like a repressed country or something and uh Bart is like uh thinks that s is making fun of her JM: something like that and then he gets a letter MM: right then he gets the letter and says written in what appears to be blood like I m going to kill you Bart JM: (laughing) yeah that s right MM: yeah he gets these letters and no one in the family cares gets-- all through the thing all through the first like seven -- he gets these letters and like no one, like everyone s really blaze about it and at one point like he s like -- and everything is shot like Cape Fear so like there are like all these smash cuts where it s just like: Dunnnngh where like they start on a start on a shot and then sort of widen out in this way that Cape Fear like JM: the second cape fear MM: the second the Deniro it s a spoof of the Deniro so it s like it ll be he ll open a letter and suddenly it ll be like a smash cut on a letter like I m going to kill you Bart! Oiiiing! and then like widen out and then at one point he s got all of the letters on the kitchen table and it s an overhead shot of all the letters and it s like womp womp well yeah that s the sound, that s the -- whomp whomp wom wom wom -- and it s all of them sitting around the kitchen table and it s like die Bart die I m going to kill you Bart dah dadh dah dah dah and then s like one written in pen and he s like this one is written in pen and Homer s like oh I wrote that one because when (laughs tumultuously) when
when ah Bart oh I wrote that one because for that time when Bart tattooed this on my butt and he like pulls down his pants and his butt is tattooed with the word wide load (laughter) and the whole family is like: ahh! and starts laughing laughing for like a really weirdly long time Marge, Lisa, the baby are just like: ha ha ha-ha-ha it s very I just thought it was funny that they would just take a break from the episode to laugh at Homer anyway JM: doesn t he keep trying to make people believe him that he s being JM: yeah JM; and no one believes him that he s being threatened like in school something happens in school MM: yeah Milhouse doesn t believe him for some reason -- well they re it s like -- they re all distracted with their own concerns JM: yeah SC: How does it happen? JM: at school? MM: like, uh, how does that happen JM: (under her breath) fatty fat fat -- don t they like um oh taunt him or something? MM: Oh yeah yeah yeah JM: don t they MM: yeah right JM: but I don t remember what it was MM: in the uh, in the uh, like oh yes he is in he is sitting standing with Milhouse in the you know those old jungle gyms like the jungle gym JM: oh yeah yeah yeah! MM: and he says Milhouse I m like really concerned, have you heard on any of any like plans to like kill me? and Milhouse is like well no but the Smither sisters the Smith sisters were like calling you fatty fatty fat fat and Nelson s going to short you later and
he s like, that s not it and then Nelson shorts him, he shorts him and goes ah-ha and the girls are like fatty fat fat fat fatty fat fat fat and he s like in the jungle gym, shorted, and being called fatty fat fat, and you hear the Cape Fear music like: Whaaa- whaaaa and for some reason MD: he has like a court case MM: well, at the end of that sequence that sequence you see uh a ketchup bottle spurting die Bart die onto a letter it s a reveal and it s Sideshow Bob JM: right played by Kelsey Grammer MM: and then he s like yeah, played by Kelsey Grammer and then he s like : (tasting it) mhhhh and then he squirts it on his MD: oh I remember oh sorry MM: you do it you do it JM: then he got the parole or something right MM: in that sequence he s up for parole MARIA DIZZIA AND JENNIFER MORRIS TELL THE EPISODE WITH HELP FROM MATT MAHER MD: So, uh, Lisa has a um pen pal who is from China and um Bart okay okay so she s getting little messages from the girl from China and then Bart s also getting messages -- except his are written in blood. (laughter) And so Bart is really upset and is like hey Lisa what s your pen pal writing you (brief laugh) I don t think that happens but um so Bart tells his family that he s getting messages from people who want to kill him and they don t believe him or are making fun of him, blood except one is written on pen and then JM: and the camera pulls up MD: right JM: you know
MD: yeah and goes: dum dum dum oh did you just think of something? MM: I just remembered well the whole first act is - whose getting letters so at one point Lisa is like: I know who did it and she calls up Moe the Bartender b/c she figures it must be Moe taking revenge for all the prank calls that Bart has been making to the bar and she s like Moe, we know it s you and cut it out and Moe s like, oh my goodness, alright, and he goes in the back and there s an enormous like crowd of pandas all hanging hiding out in the back because he s been smuggling pandas from China and he s like: (voice) okay guys the gigs up get out of here andele andele and all these pandas runs out of Moe s bar it s based around figuring out who is trying to MD: oh okay JM: which leads to the conversation in the schoolyard with Milhouse and Bart and Bart s like don t you know anyone whose wants to kill me? Don t you know anyone whose writing letters? and Millhouse says no but I do know that -- who wants to short him? MD: Nelson. Nelson wants to short you and the Smith sisters are going to call you Fatty Fat Fat and Bart s like no, that s not it and when he says that Nelson comes in and shorts him and then the Smith girls point at him and go Fat Fatty Fat Fat Fat Fat Fat MM: circling around him laughing and pointing and there s the music wah wah wah -- at the end of every scene MD: so then he goes home, then he goes home and he puts them all on the kitchen table and they re all in blood except for one is in pen and do they say who wrote this one? MM: this one s written in different MD: this one s written in different, this ones written in pen -- and Homer says Oh I wrote that one and they say why does he ask why? Laughs assent Why MD: and he goes: oh that s from when Bart tattooed this on my butt and he pulls his pants down and it says wide load and the family laughs for, 6 minutes (laughs) MM: for an inordinately long time
MD: for an inordinately long time, um and then from there? MM: and then JM: we go to Sideshow Bob MM: is revealed JM: is revealed he s in a prison cell MD: working out? Oh. JM: with a ketchup bottle writing out MD: writing out the letter JM: writing die Bart die MD: and then he licks one of them doesn t he? MM: and then MD: then once we re back is he on the stand MM: well there s a brief montage of him working out I feel like we ve left out I feel like it is revealed that he s I feel like somehow they discover that he s writing the letters as well because I feel like the Simpsons go to the court case MM: well I think its in the newspapers Sideshow Bob is being parolled JM: Okay MM: I think it s like who could be writing these letters and it s (sound) Mwaah it s just a close up of die Bart die like ketchep and then reveal JM: and that sounds good or right to me that the second segment starts with the cover of the newspaper like the Springfield newsletter twirling and stopping and -- MM: right: Sideshow Bob s being parolled and the picture the black and white picture and then it s the black and white picture exactly faces the color of
JM: right, black and white -- and there s probably something about how he wants to kill Bart, in the headlines, about how he wants to kill Bart in the headline like I want to kill Bart and then the black turns to color and we re, like, in the courtroom MARIA DIZZIA AND JENNY MORRIS TELL THE EPISODE TO QUINCY BERNSTINE, SAM WRIGHT AND COLLEEN WERTHMANN JM: we open in Springfield um with Lisa and Bart, and Lisa uh huh -- then Bart also starts getting letters and he s reading his letter CW: from the same pen pal? MD: no, no, he s getting his own pen pal letters only his are written in blood, and they say I want you to die Bart JM: it s like an overhead shot kind of like, um smash cut on his um oh his letter MD: the music going: dun dun dun when he opens his pen pal letter JM: it says die Bart die I want to kill you so he starts telling MD: right, so he s like someone s writing to me and they want to kill me but his family doesn t believe him JM: and everybody blows it off MD: so at school and he goes to Milhouse and he s like Milhouse do you know anyone who wants to kill me and Milhouse is like, I don t know but um whatsisname Nu---the bully -- not Ralph he s the cute little guy CW: that one, with like the scratchy voice MD: yeah! That guy SC: Nelson JM: Nelson MD: Nelson he s like but Nelson wants to pants you no no wants not pants JM: shorts you MD: Nelson wants to short you -- I think it s pantsing
JM: short MD: Nelson wants to short you and the /smith sisters keep calling you fat fatty fat fat JM: Smith sisters JM: they want to call you fat fatty fat fat MD: right and Bart is like mmn, no that s not it JM: just then Nelson comes by and shorts Bart CW: what is shorts is it pulling your pants down JM: yeah yeah MD: and the Smith girls come and go fat fatty fat fat fat and as they do the camera pulls away and all of the students are outside staring at him and there s more music dum dum dum, dum dum dum dum b/c Bart is being ostracized JM: and everyone s laughing MD: and everyone s laughing ha ha CW: ha- ha JM: so then we cut later to the Simpson home and he s like Bart and Marge and Lisa and Homer are all sitting around a table and Bart has laid out all these letters that he s been receiving being like see, someone is trying to kill me, the letters, and they all say like die Bart die um and it s shot in the same way as like you know Cape fear like overhead and really scary MD: and this one say s die Bart die and Homer s says oh, I wrote that one (laughter) MD: and they re like why and he s like oh I wrote this after Bart tattooed this on my butt and he pulls his pants down and it says Wide Load JM: and the Simpsons the whole family is like laughing laughing laughing laughing and then MD: for like a really really long time
JM: for a really long time and then we like pull away from the laughter and we cut to like a silhouetted version a silhouetted outline of someone in jail who is um with big giant hair SC: Sideshow Bob JM: Sideshow Bob and we see him writing in ketchup die Bart die on a letter and he s CW: was he the sidekick of Crusty the Clown? MD: exactly JM: complete the sort of thread of the story which is the reason he wants Bart to die MD: um, he framed Crusty and Bart reveals that uh that Sideshow Bob framed Crusty so then Crusty was released from prison for his um, Sideshow Bob is put in prison JM: yeah cause Sideshow Bob framed him so he could take the show over CW: oh right MD: he turned it into a better like kids educational programming JM: that s earlier but we know that somehow it s probably referenced but we know that that s a different episode altogether right MD: one of the many many episodes JM: right and the reason, the piece of the puzzle that um Bart exposed was from a footprint at the scene of the crime which is that Crusty the Clown actually has a real sized foot MD: and he wears big floppy shoes JM: and he wears big floppy shoes but Sideshow Bob actually has big floppy feet (laughter) so that s how MD: the footprints JM: yeah so we end with um the reveal with the reveal that is Sideshow Bob um no, we get there, we end with the reveal that is Sideshow Bob MD: and then he tastes the ketchup right before we go to a commercial evily
CW: Sideshow Bob eats the ketchup? MD: he eats -- as he s writing the letter he goes: mmmm -- right before we go to a commercial