Audience (in progress)

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BELLADONNA* 8 Audience (in progress) by Mei-mei Berssenbrugge *deadly nightshade, a cardiac and respiratory stimulant, having purplish-red flowers and black berries BELLADONNA BOOKS/BOOG LITERATURE FALL 2000

Audience (in progress) Mei-mei Berssenbrugge 2000 Belladonna* pamphlets design, David A. Kirschenbaum. It is set in FuturTLig 12 pt, FuturTMed 10 and 33 pt, Minion BoldCondensed 14 and 60 pt, Minion Condensed 10 and 12 pt, and Minion CondensedItalic 10, 12, and 24 pt. Price is $3 in stores or at events, $4 mail order. Belladonna* pamphlets are published periodically by Belladonna Books/Boog Literature. Belladonna* 8 is published in an edition of 60 10 of which are numbered and signed by the poet for her Belladonna reading at Bluestockings Women s Bookstore, December 1, 2000, with Kristin Prevallet and Laura Wright. Belladonna is a reading series at Bluestockings Women s Bookstore that promotes the work of women writers who are adventurous, experimental, politically involved, multi-form, multi-cultural, multi-gendered, impossible to define, delicious to talk about, unpredictable, dangerous with language. Bluestockings Women s Bookstore is at 172 Allen St., New York, NY 10002. For further information: 212 777 6028 info@bluestockings.com www.bluestockings.com Rachel Levitsky, editor Belladonna Books David A. Kirschenbaum, editor and publisher, Boog Literature Belladonna Books 458 Lincoln Place, #4B Brooklyn, NY 11238 levitsk@attglobal.net http://theeastvillageeye.com/belladonna/index.htm

Audience (in progress) My story was about the human race in conflict with itself and nature; an empathic heroine (myself) embarks on an adventure to negotiate peace between nations and huge creatures in the wild. I even admitted to them in writing before the project began, I tried to include everything about myself, a heartbroken person who hadn t produced in years, a person who ran away, who was simply not dead.

What she accomplished was to render her private voice almost autistic in its lack of affect, undermining her accustomed power to communicate individual emotion, and yet by doing so to accuse a system that mistakes what she says. Many fans, despite girls and hi-tech action will feel robbed and want to know, what kind of show is ultimately about nothing more than a person s lack of resolve? Pretty faces and cool devices drew initial audiences, but the unraveling of the strands of life of a real human being brought in outsiders.

I thought how my work should reflect society and what it should represent, and to me it seemed it should be like a mirror in this café, double space. We have a limited time here in our lives, but we feel, through television and film media a great deal more. It thwarts the viewer s transference onto me, onto a reference. If he has empathy by which to put himself in the place of a creature in a real life situation of face-to-face intensity, then there would be no context, not as here, momentarily given a life context.

So when he came back, as to an object in blank space, his experience was sweeter, not because of memory. I found a way to manage our depression via multiple deterritorializations, so real feelings became more general, vague, impersonal but spectacular in the media. She means that the performance comes out in the noise, but I don t understand the attention to the subliminal, the flow, so I grieve.

For instance, you can go into a bar and see a man catch hold of a girl by the hair and kick her. You understand both, but you have to intervene or be ashamed for hoping someone else will help. The presence and absence of perspective marks the difference between these images for you and what I am saying. I don t think about the visual look, as much as what do you think? Do you like her?

When I saw a photograph of the princess, I thought her face was inauspicious and ill-favored, but since I was told she had a big, warm personality, I thought maybe she happened to be ill and wasn t photogenic that day. In the end it wasn t representative because of the gaps ( snippets of emotionally significant moments) and fetishized, repeated dialogue.

Because you re sitting in a small space, and I m illuminated, and a lot of eyes are directed at me, I can be seen more clearly than if I were mingling together with you girls, as when I was growing up and in school.

Belladonna Books/Boog Literature 458 Lincoln Place, Suite 4B Brooklyn, NY 11238 www.theeastvillageeye.com/belladonna/index.htm $3