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The full length play, A Midsummer Night's Hangover, as well as the shorter one act entitled Heaven, are both hilarious romps through the absurdity of relationships - familial, platonic, romantic, and divine. A Midsummer Night's Hangover Buy The Complete Version of This Book at Booklocker.com: http://www.booklocker.com/p/books/5046.html?s=pdf

A Midsummer Night s Hangover Emile Benoit

Copyright 2010 Emile Benoit ISBN 978-1-60910-466-5 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. Printed in the United States of America. The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This play is fully protected, in whole, in part, or in any form under the copyright laws of the United States of America and all other countries of the Copyright Union, and is subject to royalty. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, radio, television, recitation, and public reading, are strictly reserved. Professional and amateur applications for permission to perform it must be made in advance, before rehearsals begin, to: eudaimonpress@sbcglobal.net EUDAIMON PRESS 2010

Table of Contents A Midsummer Night s Hangover... 1 Heaven... 131 vii

SCENE 8 The street (Enter Jude quickly followed by Gloria) I told you. I gave you my word. To me! You gave your word to me. Forget about it. Thank you. Goodnight. No. No. No. No. No. No. Won t you stay with me for awhile? Why? You could sing for me again. Don t toy with me. You hate my singing. Where did you ever get that idea? I believe they were your exact words. Oh, please. I was flirting. 63

Benoit Flirting? I didn t want you to think I was too easy of a catch. I was testing you. You loathe me. You said so yourself. No. I hope you re having fun at my expense. No, wait! How can I convince you? I ll have to think of something. (Coyly) I may know a way. (Falling under her spell) You ve never looked at me like that before. That s funny. I can t seem to look at you any other way. Stop it. I can t. I told you. 64

A Midsummer Night s Hangover / Heaven (Suddenly) I should be going. No, stay. You re mocking me! You ve been mocking me from the very first day I ever laid eyes on you. No, I m not. Please. I ll prove it to you. How can I prove it to you? You can t Please. I ll do anything. Well... Yes? What? Fate would know the truth. Fate? We ll flip a coin. You call it. Heads or tails? 65

Benoit I don t understand. It s simple. Have not all the great lovers through time been destined to be with one another? I suppose so. And have they not all been faced with obstacles to their love? I guess. And has fate not intervened in their behalf? Yes. Then you have nothing to fear. Unless you re lying. I m not lying to you. I love you. I told you. I love you. (He flips the coin) Then call it in the air. Heads. 66

A Midsummer Night s Hangover / Heaven (He catches it) It s heads. It s heads? It s heads? Oh my god, it s heads. You see? You see, I told you. I don t know what you re talking about. Fate decided. She knew I was telling the truth. Whatever gave you that idea? It was heads. I called it. Yes, to let your so called love be smeared by the opportunity of chance. You would let a coin decide the content of your heart? You might as well wager your soul on a game show. You make me sick. No, wait! (Jude exits followed quickly by Gloria) 67

SCENE 9 The woods (Felicity enters dancing followed by Gemini. They both are in a partial state of dress) I feel so alive. What a glorious night! I agree. Glorious. Did you hear me, father? I think the world just heard you. I m here half-naked! Sshhhhhh. In the woods! (Teasing) With all the wild animals. I think I ve created a monster. The stars! Oh, look how bright they are, Gemini. It s an omen. A sign that we were meant to be together. I don t need a star to tell me that. 68

A Midsummer Night s Hangover / Heaven (He leans over to kiss her) Oh, look, Gemini! A falling star. Wish on it. Should I? Why not? (Closes her eyes) Star light, star bright. (Gemini joins her in reciting) The first star I see tonight. I wish I may. I wish I might. Have this wish I wish tonight. I ll bet I know your wish. I ll bet I never tell you. To stay with me here forever. My, someone has quite an ego. That was my wish. 69

Benoit Then you ve spoiled it by telling me. Now it won t come true. I m not all that superstitious. My mother used to say that angels would whisper secrets to me while I slept. And to keep me quiet, they d press their finger to my lip. And that s why I have this cleft below my nose. Let s fly away somewhere. To Paris maybe. That would be nice. We could be married there. Or Italy. Or Rome! How romantic. Gather up your clothes. Let s get going. Where? To Rome. To Italy. To Paris. Why should we care? We ll be together. 70

A Midsummer Night s Hangover / Heaven You re joking, of course. No I m not joking. Let s go. You mean elope? Unless you have a better idea. My father would be devastated. He ll understand. Gemini. Eventually. You know my father. Yes, he s a bitter, uptight, twisted, old man who keeps his daughter chained at his side. He takes advantage of your kindness. If I m to marry anyone it will be with his consent. 71

Benoit So did you confide in him before you came to me tonight? I didn t have any plans to run away with you at the time. He needs me, Gemini. I need you more. You don t understand. He wasn t always so When my mother left us it changed him. You know he still cries over her? I see him sometimes in the kitchen looking at pictures. It nearly killed him when she left. And now you want me to do the same thing to him? I can t. I can t do it. I won t. Please, Gemini, just be patient. I know that sooner or later he s going to grow tired of this man that he s become and then everything will be different. Things will be as they were before. What, when you were five? I should be getting home. Will you walk with me? Why are you making this so difficult? You ll find that love is nothing more than friendship made to bear the worst. Listen to me. 72

A Midsummer Night s Hangover / Heaven Unless you wish to join me, we have nothing more to say. I ve already left him a letter. What kind of letter? I had Jude deliver it for me. I told him to leave it on your doorstep. What did it say? How was I to know you wouldn t want to run off with me? I assumed that you loved me. Gemini, what did it say. I told him we were going off to get married. You what? Are you out of your mind? You left a letter like that for my father to find? What time is it? My God, it s almost morning. If he finds me gone and that letter on our doorstep (They exit in a hurry) 73