English 120 Yanover -- Essay #1: Analysis of a Passion: the Social Significance of Your Topic Format: Value: Length: MLA style, typed, stapled at top left (see sample MLA paper & instructions for producing a properly formatted essay, available on my website) 100 points 1,000 words minimum (6-10 paragraphs) Rough Draft: You will need 2 typed, double-spaced, MLA-formatted copies of an essay draft of at least 5 paragraphs: 1 for peer review and 1 for me in conference. Failure to complete a draft, participate in peer review, or to come to the conference (prepared and on time) will result in a 10% deduction from the final essay grade. Final Draft Due Date: See the Syllabus, The essay must be submitted in print form to me at the beginning of class (or emailed to me before class though in this case it will receive a grade but no feedback) on the due date AND to Turnitin.com by 11:59 pm the same day in order to be considered received. If I have to submit it to Turnitin for you, there will be a 10-point deduction.) Directions: Write an essay in which you examine your topic and its significance in American society ONE meaning that explains people s passion for the topic. You re looking at its significance to a particular group in American society. So you might focus on a particular age and/or gender group, etc., as well as a particular perspective on the topic (fans or amateur players, in a sport, for example). Focus on the perspective you re most familiar with, a group you are a member of. Your purpose is to prove the topic is important to the group of people you ve identified because of the meaning it has to them; that is, you need to prove the group believes it has this meaning and explain why it s important to this group of people because of that meaning, NOT to persuade your reader to accept its importance or meaning as true. Do NOT do any research for this draft! In other words, do not read any material in print or on the internet. This draft is based on what you know and have observed yourself.
Tips: Support your Thesis by thinking about related meanings the topic has, or customs or traditions associated with it, or places or people associated with it (and what these places and/or people are like). Break the topic down into its parts: aspects or attributes. Remember to construct each Body Paragraph around one specific point, supported with sufficient, specific evidence which has been described and discussed in detail. Finally, connect each point back to the Thesis, and discuss the connection, how/why this point reflects or affects the significance of the object. Thus each paragraph will help prove and develop the thesis, adding to our understanding of its meaning and relevance. If you don t have enough evidence from your own observations, consider how the topic is portrayed in pop culture: advertisements/commercials, movies/television shows, professional or public photographs, cartoons, etc. You will need to identify the source, and later in the semester, we will talk about how to cite them correctly in-text as well as on the Works Cited page. Focus your Conclusion on developing the Thesis, why the topic and its significance are so important to us, why it means what it does to us, and what it says about who we are. Do not use second person you, your or first person singular I, me, my in your essay.
Grading Criteria: An A essay (90-100 points) = SUPERIOR 1. The ideas show thoughtfulness and creativity in exploring and analyzing the significance of the topic. 2. The essay demonstrates excellent Critical Thinking, fulfilling the assignment completely with sustained attention to a particular group s perspective as well as to the topic, task of analysis, and supporting and developing the thesis. 3. Excellent, sustained Focus is maintained throughout on the topic and a specific unified Thesis (identifying one specific significance of the topic) and on one support point/idea per paragraph (related to but not repeating the thesis). 4. Thorough Support of the thesis is provided with sufficient relevant, specific points and sufficient, specific, vivid, and relevant examples and details. 5. Excellent, thorough Development of the thesis and ideas is provided through sustained in-depth discussion of how evidence proves and develops the point and of what each point adds to or how it changes our understanding of the thesis 6. Effective Organization is demonstrated through clear, effective, logical divisions between paragraphs, logical progression from one aspect/one paragraph to another and one sentence to another, and clear, sophisticated transitions to indicate connections and shifts between parts. 7. The Writing is clear, specific, and fluent, free of grammar and spelling errors as well as slang. A B essay (80-89 points) = STRONG 1. The ideas show thoughtfulness in exploring and analyzing the significance of the topic. 2. The essay demonstrates strong Critical Thinking, fulfilling the assignment completely with attention to a particular group s perspective as well as to the topic, task of analysis, and supporting and developing the thesis. 3. Excellent Focus is maintained on a specific unified Thesis (identifying one specific significance of the topic) and on one support point/idea per paragraph (related to but not repeating the thesis). 4. Thorough Support of the thesis is provided with sufficient relevant, specific points and sufficient, specific, and relevant examples and details. 5. Thorough Development of the thesis and ideas is provided through discussion of what each point adds to or how it changes our understanding of the thesis 6. Effective Organization is demonstrated through clear divisions between paragraphs, clear progression from one paragraph and sentence to another, and clear, transitions to indicate connections and shifts between parts. 7. The Writing is clear and specific, mostly free of grammar and spelling errors though is less fluent than an A paper. A C essay (70-79 points) = ADEQUATE 1. The ideas are adequate though at times vague, general, &/or clichéd. 2. The essay demonstrates adequate Critical Thinking, fulfilling the assignment in length with occasional lapses (into persuasive argument or informative, irrelevant, or personal writing, etc.) that do not derail the overall analytical purpose. 3. The Focus on the topic, perspective, thesis, and points is inconsistent, and the thesis and points may be vague, general, &/or unfocused. 4. Support is present but general and vague, leaving much to the reader s imagination. 5. Development of the thesis and ideas is minimal &/or vague. 6. The reader can follow the organization, but some paragraphs and ideas may seem randomly ordered. 7. The Writing communicates the ideas though some serious errors may be present, and considerable vagueness and awkwardness in style may exist. A D essay (60-69 points) = WEAK 1. The ideas lack thoughtfulness. The essay is mostly vague and general. 2. The essay demonstrates weak Critical Thinking, incompletely or inconsistently fulfilling the requirements in length and purpose. 3. The essay is inconsistent in Focus. It lacks or is unclear in the thesis &/or points. 4. The essay weakly supports its ideas; evidence is minimal, vague, &/or irrelevant. 5. The essay offers weak or minimal development of its ideas, mostly repeating them or leaving them unexplained. 6. The essay has weak organization, seeming randomly or illogically ordered in places. 7. The writing contains many serious and sloppy errors. An F essay (0-59 points) = INADEQUATE (Not Passing) 1. The ideas lack originality. The essay is plagiarized or contains plagiarism (intentional or unintentional). 2. The essay lacks Critical Thinking, failing to fulfill &/or to respond to the assignment in length &/or purpose. It may be off topic or off track in purpose, presenting a persuasive or informative argument or personal experience rather than analysis. 3. The essay lacks Focus. It lacks a thesis &/or points. 4. The essay fails to support its ideas with evidence or presents evidence that seems irrelevant. 5. The essay fails to develop its ideas, leaving them unclear and unexplained. 6. The essay lacks any sense of organization seeming like notes or free-writing rather than an essay. 7. The writing contains so many errors that the reader is left to guess at meaning.
Tips & Outline of Essay #1 (Analysis of the Social Significance of a Passion) Tip #1: Paragraph #1, the Introduction The introduction needs to do what any good intro does (hook the reader & introduce him/her to & what s/he can expect from your essay: the topic, background, and thesis. As with any good essay, it won t refer to the writing process, so no I m going to focus on or this essay is going to explore. Also, given that the idea is ultimately to explain the appeal of the topic, make it sound appealing without forgetting that you re not arguing to prove to the reader that it should be appealing to him/her only that s/he should understand why it is appealing to the group you re focusing on. So a sample thesis about sofas might be: To most adults, sofas represent comfort. While you can make your thesis sound more interesting than this, keep the idea clear and unified, so we can tell the topic & what it represents (one idea) and also the perspective if it hasn t been established clearly earlier in the paragraph. Tip #2: The Body Paragraphs Focus each Body Paragraph on a single idea. Brainstorm as many as you can but at least 6, (knowing that the final draft of your research essay will need to be at least 2,000 words, typically 12-20 paragraphs), so this draft is half the length of the final one, and all of the points you make in the final draft will be your ideas with some supported by research. Some of these ideas can simply break the thesis down into related ideas (subtopics/aspects or parts of the topic and synonyms for and related aspects of the thesis). For example, for sofas, some of these points would be (one per Body Paragraph): We associate sofas with: Leisure or relaxation (if they re different enough, then they become separate paragraphs) Adulthood Sociability Companionship or love Laziness (the phrase couch potato ) Hard work (may not seem related to thesis but because of hard work, there s a need for comfort, so as long as there s a connection, it can be included) Responsibility Self-expression Independence Calmness Note: Of course, I would vary the wording from We associate sofas with to avoid monotony.
Tip #3: Start each Body Paragraph with this idea, the Point. In fact, the only thing that should come before the Point is a Transition (word, phrase, or sentence expressing the relationship between this paragraph & the previous one.) Tip #4: Support Support each point with sufficient examples and details from your observations of the world around you to prove the point. So I might think of situations in which adults come home and recline, adults I ve known or have known of, perhaps thinking of examples from media I ve seen (so X character from X show always came home and the first thing he did was throw himself down on his sofa, letting his feet drop heavily onto the coffee table and saying, It s good to be home. ) Be specific both in the facts & sensory descriptions you provide. And remember details include both description & explanation. You need to point out how the facts mean what you say they do. So as I m talking about reclining on the sofa as a reward after & for hard work, I need to present what is the reward and make clear how/why we see it that way. Especially in the above example from the hypothetical tv show where the character doesn t say anything overt about a reward, I have to interpret it: He doesn t acknowledge the relief until he s settled on the sofa. When he exclaims, it s good to be home, it s that moment that he considers good, the good, the reward, but it s not just arriving home; it s the settling into the sofa that for him equals home and the reward. Tip #5: Developing the Thesis As a final step in each paragraph, we need to connect back to the thesis & develop it. So I need to explain the comfort in each point, what it means, why it s important (to adults) & why it explains the importance of sofas to us. So I might write of being rewarded with the comfort that comes from being on one s own sofa & one s own time, etc.), why it feels like a reward. I can also draw on the examples I ve presented for reinforcement (to point out the comfort). Don t put your transitions at the ends of paragraphs because they will distract you from developing your thesis. This final step is vital to prove your thesis but also to develop your analysis and thus fulfill the requirements of this assignment.
Tip #6: Conclusion Know that the conclusion will change as the essay grows and changes, so write a conclusion to see what your thoughts are now, but don t put too much effort into it. Start the paragraph by reminding us of your thesis (not the same exact sentence, but the same exact meaning/word). Only now comment on it given what you ve learned about the topic & its significance. So I might write: The comfort that sofas give us is clearly much more than mere physical comfort though that comfort isn t insignificant. I haven t lost my focus on comfort, but here I m pinning down what I mean by comfort and giving a direction to the rest of my paragraph. So next you need to develop the thesis completely & directly. Remember your purpose is to explain why the topic represents what it does, why it s important to this segment of society because of this meaning. So if I might start by explaining why we need physical comfort, but quickly I would get to the real comfort I m concerned about, why we associate it with sofas & why we need it (& sofas/tangible signs of it) given the world we live in, our lives & how we see/experience them. Finally, draw the essay to a close. A good essay will not repeat or list the previous points & examples. It will just focus on explaining the importance of the topic & its meaning to get at why we so value it. What does it give us? What does it allow us to believe about the world or ourselves? Etc. Tip #7: The Title Don t forget to give your essay a creative, original, relevant title. It s the first impression a reader gets of your essay.