Experience Shevet Achim Instructions for a Taste-Of Session at Your Institution This informational meeting for parents and guys is a tool for recruiting participants ahead of a group s first official gathering. It is a great way to ensure that the parents and guys understand the goals of Shevet Achim and are excitedly anticipating a wonderful experience. In addition, guys often feel more comfortable coming to an introductory meeting than committing to participation in an unknown group. In other words, get them to the introductory meeting, and then they will want to come back for more! We strongly recommend that you invite your supervisor or an experienced group leader to cofacilitate this meeting with you. Planning Tips Find a convenient, comfortable, and private space to hold your meeting. Keep in mind that you will need space for three different groups. The meeting will take approximately one and a half hours. Solicit guidance from potential participants regarding optimal times for meeting. Familiarize yourself with the meeting plan below. Prepare: Name tags and markers Cards with discussion questions Poster board with Partner-up statements written on it Pad and pen for each of the three groups Flyers, meeting date sheet, sign-up sheet Kosher snacks (include some healthful snacks) and drinks Arrive early to set up, but expect others to come late. Pace yourself to ensure enough time for questions at the end of the meeting. Arrange seating in a circle or semicircle as numbers and space permit. Introductory Meeting Outline Opening (5 minutes) Welcome participants. Introduce yourself. Share some details about your background and how you came to be a group leader. Express your enthusiasm for Shevet Achim. 261 Old York Road, Suite 734, Jenkintown, PA 19046 215-887-4511 movingtraditions.org
Share Session Objectives (5 minutes) Outline four goals for the meeting (there are two options for the rest of the session following this general outline of the goals): To get acquainted and have fun together. To experience a taste of Shevet Achim. To get excited about joining a Shevet Achim group. To address logistical issues and answer questions. At this time, separate parents and guys into two different groups, parents with the supervisor and guys with the group leader. Group leader, use the following instructions to facilitate your session. Group Leader and Guys Octopus and Minnows Game (15 minutes) Every Shevet Achim session begins with a fun physical activity. To kick things off, play this group tag game, called Octopus and Minnows. It is best played in a large space. If you do not have a large space (gym, backyard/schoolyard, large room) to house the octopus and minnows activity, we recommend doing a thumb or arm wrestling tournament, or another competitive game of your choice instead. Establish the boundaries and out-of-bounds spaces of the area in which you ll be playing. Select one person to be the octopus. This person must try to tag others. The other people are minnows; they need to swim from one side of the play space to the other. The minnows are allowed to swim into out-of-bounds (aka safe areas), but they cannot stay there for longer than 10 seconds. When a minnow is tagged, they become a part of the octopus. After they re tagged, they need to hold onto the arm of the original octopus or the arm of someone who is holding onto the octopus. Once they do this, they can tag minnows with hands or other parts of their body. The last person tagged is the winner. Game Debrief (10 minutes) While playing the game, who felt like they got competitive? (Ask guys to raise hands.) Who felt like they were acting strategically? (Ask guys to raise hands, then ask one or two guys with hands raised to describe their strategy.) Who preferred being part of the octopus? Being a minnow? What did you like about the role you just chose? movingtraditions.org 2
Now, fill in the gaps by sharing some observations that you made about the game: what form did competition take? Who was working together? Who was working alone? What strategies did you observe? Activity Option 1: Jewish Wisdom Try to Be a Man (25 minutes) How do you think this game would have been different if there were girls playing too? What do you think it would mean to play this game like a guy/man? How might your answer change if it was all guys playing versus guys and girls? Facilitator s Note: For these two questions, encourage participants to think through their answers. Where do their ideas about girls and guys relationship to games/competition come from? Are these ideas fully accurate? If you think it would be helpful, share a couple examples of girls and women who are very competitive, such as Olympians Simone Biles (swimming), Allyson Felix (sprinting) and Katie Ledecky (swimming), Serena Williams (tennis), and Mia Hamm (soccer). Divide participants up into pairs or small groups for the following discussion. Give each pair or group a sheet of chart paper. What do you think it means to be a man? In small groups or pairs, have participants write down characteristics of someone who was being a man. Come back together and share lists. Note similarities and differences between the lists. Also note the differences and similarities between the items on the list and the way participants answered the question, what do you think it would mean to play the game like a guy? What would be your first thought or reaction if someone told you to be a man? When in your life has someone told you or have you told someone else to be a man? Think about the situation and how it felt. Is it helpful or harmful to tell someone to be a man? Facilitator s note: If there is time, have participants debate the two questions above either as a full group or in small groups/pairs consisting of some participants who think being told to be a man is okay/helpful and those who think it is not okay/harmful. SAY: movingtraditions.org 3
One time that the phrase be a man appears in Jewish tradition is in Pirkei Avot: Ethics of Our Ancestors (2:5). In a place where there are no men, try to be a man. This quote appears in the context of Rabbis giving advice to people about how to develop admirable values and character. Some people have interpreted man in this quote to mean mensch. With this interpretation in mind, an additional meaning of be a man is be a good person, do good deeds. Facilitator's Tip: If you are short on time, say the above to sum up conversation about "being a man" and take a couple of reactions to the Pirket Avot quote. If you have more time and/or would like to continue the conversation about the Pirket Avot quote, proceed to the following questions. Optional additional questions about Pirkei Avot quote, In a place where there are no men, try to be a man : What s your reaction to this quote/what do you think it means? Why do you think the text says try to be a man rather than be a man? What do you think is the difference between acting like a man and acting like a boy? Activity Option 2: Jokes and Judaism (25 minutes) Ask for a few volunteers to rehearse and tell jokes to the group. These volunteers can either tell their favorite joke (doesn t have to be specifically Jewish), or can choose a joke from one of the following resources (or appropriate resources you find in advance). 5 Best Jewish Jokes Ever: http://bit.ly/2pm6ode Year One Hunting Scene: http://bit.ly/2r9zya2 Facilitator s note: We recommend that you print out copies of jokes from these webpages and have them available at the meeting. Allow all volunteers to perform their jokes. Then, pass out slips of paper and have participants vote on which of the jokes was the funniest by writing down the number corresponding to the joke they liked best and putting the slip of paper it into a box. Count the votes and announce the winner(s). ASK some or all of the following: Why do you think this joke/these jokes won? What makes a joke funny? What are the elements of a perfect joke? What role do jokes and humor play in your life? Do you tell different types of jokes around different people in your life? Do you refrain from telling jokes around certain people? Are the jokes you make with your parents/kids different from the jokes you make with friends? What is Jewish humor? movingtraditions.org 4
Facilitator s note: You may want participants to have this conversation in pairs or small groups, separating parents from guys.) SAY IN YOUR OWN WORDS: There is a long history of humor within Judaism. The biblical patriarch, Isaac, is named for his mother, Sarah s laughter after she heard she would have a child. The Talmud speaks of God s laughter. There are records of Jews making jokes since 19 th century Eastern Europe and many theorize that humor was used as a coping mechanism during atrocities like the Holocaust. Today, Jews dominate the comedy business (think Jon Stewart, Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, etc.). Humor will be a common theme throughout the Shevet Achim program. Facilitator s resource: For more information about the history of Jewish humor, check out this website: http://bit.ly/2qadtjx Parents and Guys Together How are Shevet Achim groups unique? What happens at a session? (15 minutes) Highlight the following points: Shevet Achim offers adolescent guys the opportunity to gather on a regular basis to explore issues that are important to teen guys, like sports, movies, TV, and what it means to be a (Jewish) man. The program is informed by teen guys who care about being Jewish and want a new way of learning about what really matters in life and will challenge them to think about and talk about issues that they may not have time to do elsewhere. The groups draw on Jewish wisdom and practice as a resource for young men as they explore an array of topics relevant to their lives. Our approach fosters self-expression, analytical thinking, and the validation of individual experience. The method of facilitation is experiential. Every session begins with an activity, and then there s food, fun, games, debate, and discussion. Guys will get an opportunity to talk about competition and power and manhood, and can share their own views about things and hear what their friends are thinking about. Logistics/Closing Comments (5 minutes) Explain format, dates, time, location, role of parents, costs, method of communicating meeting times and confirming participation. Solicit and respond to questions. If possible, try and secure a host for the first session. If there is resistance, say: try it the first session. If you don t like it, that s cool, no pressure. movingtraditions.org 5