Audition Scripts: Elf The Musical JR.

Similar documents
Music Theatre International Um, fine Charlie, but... I guess I m gonna be a little short on today s quota.

Scene 1 INSERT GREAT LOGO HERE

A Christmas Eve Play

Who will make the Princess laugh?

a script from by Jenny Craiger

Lexie World (The Three Lost Kids, #1) Chapter 1- Where My Socks Disappear


BANG! BANG! BANG! The noise scared me at first, until I turned around and saw this kid in a dark-blue hockey jersey and a black tuque staring at me

NOT AUTHORIZED FOR PERFORMANCE

Dialogue Samples from JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME Copyright 1994 Linda Daugherty All rights reserved. Sample #1

CHRISTMAS UNPLUGGED SAMPLE 1. CHRISTMAS UNPLUGGED Production Notes

The Talent Store. by Rene Gutteridge. Cash register and table Cash Three colorful sacks of different sizes Three boxes of different sizes

Earplugs. and white stripes. I thought they looked funny but mom said they were for the holiday.

Tony, Frank, John Movie Lesson 2 Text

Mum s talking to Nanna. She said she d only be a minute. That s such a lie. A

Charly Did It. LEVELED BOOK R Charly Did It. A Reading A Z Level R Leveled Book Word Count: 1,334.

CHRISTMAS COMES to DETROIT LOUIE

CHAPTER 1. It s Not Fair

SKI LIFT D O N O T P R I N T. from Script of the Day. Lillenas Drama Presents. by Lin Sexton and Andy Doub

A Conversation with Lauren Brennan, Blogger and Recipe Developer Behind Lauren s Latest

The Jester. By Sam Arnel

(Attending Ms. Johansson) by (Rock Kitaro) Current Revisions by (Current Writer, date)

Please take a seat. Mrs. Brady will be right with you. (To COCO) Are you sure you want to do this? Are you kidding me? What choice do we have?

I start walking toward the bus stop,

Jacob listens to his inner wisdom

The e-bunny. The front entrance of a Mega-Mart. Customers come and go across the stage.

Time We Have Left. Episode 6 "First Day Back" Written By. Jason R. Harris

As the elevators door slid open they spotted a duffel bag inside. Tommy pick it up and opened it There s a note inside of it I bet its from Robby

Little Jackie receives her Call to Adventure

ONE Escalation and De-escalation Skits Ideas

live in me from think by onetimeblind

Punctuating Personality 1.15

THE GOOD FATHER 16-DE06-W35. Logline: A father struggles to rebuild a relationship with his son after the death of his wife.

Words Are Powerful AGAPE LESSON 7

Confrontation between Jackie and Daniel s ex-girlfriend

JEN KIRKMAN TALKS COMEDY AND GROWING INTO YOURSELF

Name Period Date. Grade 8, Unit 1 Pre-assessment. Read this selection from The Best Bedroom in Brooklyn by Carol Snyder:

As Requested Author : Kitex989. As Requested

SERIAL STAR A TEN MINUTE MONOLOGUE. By Deborah Karczewski

The Wonder of Dads A Puppet Script by Tom Smith

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR FAMILY GATHERINGS

Bereavement. Heaven Collins. 5/2/16 Bellows Free Academy Saint Albans 380 Lake Rd, Saint Albans, VT (802)

The Mystery Club and the Case of the Missing Pearls. A Play for Students in Grades parts

180 By Mike Shelton Copyright 2008

Name Period Date. Grade 7, Unit 1 Pre-assessment. Read this selection from Fast Sam, Cool Clyde, and Stuff by Walter Dean Myers

PEOPLE WHO LIE. written by. Xavier Gonzalez

Transcriber(s): Yankelewitz, Dina Verifier(s): Reid, Adrienne, Farhat, Marcelle Date Transcribed: Spring 2009 Page: 1 of 6

Unit 5 The Misunderstanding

Instant Words Group 1

Letterland Lists by Unit. cat nap mad hat sat Dad lap had at map

Same Name. by Steven Burton

LESTER PIOT. Interview by Dolly Ferries May 27, 1995

RSS - 1 FLUENCY ACTIVITIES

Feelings & Fears. Kids Activities

THE CHRISTMAS TREE CLASSROOM PERFORMING PACK

Hello! & Welcome to A Twisted Plays/Junior Drama Sample Script! On the following pages you will find a sample of the script that is available for

THE GREATEST GRANDMOTHER Hal Ames

Leader of the Pack. Mrs. C.: Loving and warm, very concerned and protective of Santa.

The Prodigal. By Stephen Guschov. Performance Rights

SAMPLE LESSON FROM THE PEACE OF MIND CORE CURRICULUM FOR GRADES 1 AND 2

The Girl without Hands. ThE StOryTelleR. Based on the novel of the Brother Grimm

I slump down under my favourite tree, the one that s taller than Billy s, and look out

CONFESSIONS OF A FACEBOOK ADDICT

A Change of Heart. Christiaan Barnard

NONA. Cast of Characters. Karina : The head waitress at Garden Cafe in her mid 20s. The middle-aged manager at Garden Cafe.

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold. Gonna Be

Four skits on. Getting Along. By Kathy Applebee

HAPPINESS TO BURN by Jenny Van West Music / bmi. All rights reserved

Pink Elephants Running Amuck

YOUR CHRISTIANITY IS SHOWING!

CAST PERFORMER CAST PERFORMER

A Little Christmas Spirit

But that s not completely fair to Josh. He cares about Luna, too. I think about Luna, her branches reaching up to the sky like huge arms in prayer,

B-I-N-G OH! TEN MINUTE PLAY. By Jonathan Markella. Copyright MMXIV by Jonathan Markella All Rights Reserved Heuer Publishing LLC, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

SCAMILY. A One-Act Play. Kelly McCauley

From Chemical Bonding

Worth Saving. Jeff Smith

The Wonder of Moms by Tom Smith

The Ten Minute Tutor Read-a-long Book Video Chapter 17. Yellow Bird and Me. By Joyce Hansen. Chapter 17 DUNBAR ELEMENTARY PRESENTS

Emerging Cocoon Order the complete book from

Lit Up Sky. No, Jackson, I reply through gritted teeth. I m seriously starting to regret the little promise I made

CITY LG Nov 7 th /8 th

Never Too Old for Christmas

Kailee Carr Port Alberni, BC Nuu-cha-nulth (Ahousaht First Nation) 27 yrs. Quʔušin (Raven)

By the bed is a large tray with the remnants of a feast. Strewn about the room are four pair of shoes, clothing, and some sex toys.

Effective Practice Briefings: Robert Sylwester 02 Page 1 of 10

GHOSTS By Bradley Walton

LIFE DIES, AND THEN YOU SUCK. A One Act Stage Play. Steven G. Jackson. Copyright 2017 by Steven G. Jackson

WHEN A BART GOES OUT A ЯALPH COMES IN Chalkboard gag: THERE ISNT A SHARK IN THE SCHOOL POND

Stamp Out Name-Calling: A Good Choice Packet

Merry Christmas / Happy Thanksgiving. Susan Jarrett

GUS. Written by. Daniel Walker. Second Draft February 22nd, 2018

SCREEN ACTING ENSEMBLE AUDITIONS 2017

Little Brother The Story of the Prodigal Son by Mary Evelyn McCurdy. Scene 1. BIG BROTHER: Why are you talking about Dad dying? That's a long way off.

THE ROOM OF DOORS. by Writer 161

Candice Bergen Transcript 7/18/06

************************ CAT S IN THE CRADLE. him"

ALEX COOPER S CHRISTMAS CHEER. Written by Alex Cooper

S p i r i t o f L a n g u a g e

The following is a selection of monologues we suggest you use for the 2016 Performance Lab Auditions.

Transcription:

Audition Scripts: Elf The Musical JR. Character Breakdown: Santa Claus Santa Claus has a lot on his plate during the Christmas season, and it is starting to show. He is annoyed with the Elves, tired of lying to Buddy and sad that people seem to be losing their Christmas spirit. He is still the same jolly old St. Nick underneath it all, but the job is getting to him. This is a great role for a character performer who can play an older (and somewhat cranky) man while trying hard to keep his holiday spirit. Vocal Range Bb3 - D5 Character Breakdown: Buddy Buddy is the perfect elf! Hes good-natured, he means well, and he s happy& all the time. There s only one problem. He s not an elf he s an adult human. This role is perfect for a young man who is an excellent actor and good singer who has the energetic earnestness and comedic timing that Buddy needs. It s helpful to cast an actor who is taller than the other Elves. This will help differentiate Buddy and adds to the humor of the show. Vocal RangeB3 - G5 Character Breakdown: Elves The Elves are Santa s special helpers who love their job making toys to meet their Christmas Eve deadline. These roles are great for younger performers, or for those who can embody a youthful spirit, enjoy singing and work well together as a group. Character Breakdown: Charlie Charlie is in charge of monitoring the other Elves, making sure every present is wrapped and every bow is tied. Cast a young performer with a good speaking voice, someone who is comfortable taking command of the stage and has authority over the rest of the Elves, but always remains friendly. Character Breakdown: Shawanda Shawanda is a dependable and caring elf. She will do whatever she can to help out others, including Buddy, even though she accidentally reveals that he is a human. Cast a good actress with a clear speaking voice for this very important moment in the story. Character Breakdown: Sam Sam is one of Walter s Office Staff who is in a bind at the top of the show. A young performer with a good speaking voice and strong character choices will do the trick. Character Breakdown: Walter Hobbs Walter Hobbs, Buddy s real father, is so focused on keeping his job that he is not making time for his family. He can be stern and unemotional at times, but ultimately he learns to recommit to his family. Cast a great actor with a strong, authoritative presence, but be sure they can also show his softer side Vocal Range B3 - E5 Character Breakdown: Deb Deb, Walter s secretary, has the big responsibility of keeping her boss and the whole office happy. She does this by sharing her positive attitude with everyone. This is a plum role for a young woman with a pleasant demeanor, yet efficient work ethic, who is a solid actor with a good speaking voice Character Breakdown: Emily Hobbs Emily Hobbs is Walter s devoted wife who would prefer her husband to spend a little more time at home. She is a problem solver and an excellent mother who is doing everything she can to provide a positive family dynamic. Cast an excellent actress and singer who effortlessly conveys a sense of maturity and warmth. Vocal Range G3 - D5

Character Breakdown: Michael Hobbs Michael Hobbs is the smarter-than-average 12-year-old son of Walter and Emily. He quickly befriends his new adult brother, Buddy, and does everything he can to make sure Buddy becomes a permanent part of the family. Look for a solid young actor and singer with an unchanged voice. Vocal Range G3 - D5 Character Breakdown: Security Guards Security Guard #1 and Security Guard #2 are a stern duo from Walters office, making sure everyone who enters has permission. Cast a duo that works well together and fits the bill for a tough pair. Character Breakdown: Saleswoman The Saleswoman is the first person to greet Buddy as he enters Macy s. She s the consummate sales person: smiling, overfriendly, and always trying to sell something. This is a great ensemble role for a young woman with little stage experience. Character Breakdown: Manager The manager is a terrific featured acting role for a performer with good comedic timing. As the manager of Macys, he s doing everything he can to make sure all the employees stay in line. Character Breakdown: Manager The manager is a terrific featured acting role for a performer with good comedic timing. As the manager of Macys, he s doing everything he can to make sure all the employees stay in line. Character Breakdown: Jovie Jovie works as a store elf at Macys, but don t be mistaken she doesn t quite exude the Christmas spirit. She s kind of cynical, a bit tough around the edges, and now the target of Buddys complete adoration. This is a fantastic role for a young woman with a strong singing voice and acting chops. Vocal Range G3 - Db5 Character Breakdown: Santa's Helper Santa's Helper works as a Macys Employee and announces when each kid gets to visit with Santa. This is a good ensemble role for a performer with a loud voice. Character Breakdown: Fake Santa Fake Santa is a poor replacement for the real Santa. He s an employee of Macys who is a bit rough around the edges. Fake Santa should be played by a performer who is unafraid of being a little over-the-top and has good physical control of his body. Character Breakdown: Policemen Policeman #1 and Policeman #2 are a friendly pair of cops who return Buddy to the Hobbs household. These are perfect featured roles for two ensemble members. Character Breakdown: Sarah Sarah is a staff member at Walter s office. This is a nice role for a less experienced actor with a good singing voice. Character Breakdown: Mr. Greenway Mr. Greenway is one of the crankiest businessmen around. He is the big boss, so look for an older student with a commanding presence to tackle this acting role. Character Breakdown: Chadwick and Matthews Chadwick and Matthews are staff members at Walter's office who are doing everything they can think of to save the day and make their boss happy. Cast a pair of good character actors who work well with each other and are able to drive the action of scenes. Character Breakdown: Charlotte Dennon Charlotte Dennon is a TV reporter with a big personality. She does her best to keep her professional persona in public and doesn t like being shown up. This is a great role for a young woman with professional charisma and someone who can make strong acting choices.

Character Breakdown: Finale Soloists Finale Soloists #1,#2,#3 and #4 are good roles to highlight four of your strong solo singers. Vocal Range B3 - B4 Character Breakdown: Darlene Lambert and Emma Van Brocklin Darlene Lambert and Emma Van Brocklin are on the scene in Central Park and are convinced of Santas magic after Buddy reveals their past Christmas gifts. Look for two young ladies with nice singing voices and some acting experience to take on these small, but featured, roles. Character Breakdown: Ensemble The Ensemble, including New Yorkers, Comforting New Yorker, Macys Employees, Macy s Employee #1, Members of the Rockefeller Crowd, Office Staff, Business Woman, Flyer Guys, Teenager, Jogger, Carolers, Passerby, Children and Parents are all important roles for creating the distinct worlds of the North Pole and New York City. These roles can all be double cast from your ensemble, and it s important to remind your young performers that the stronger and more specific their character choices, the richer and more vivid the story becomes.

Script: Santa Claus / Buddy Santa? Is it true what they said? Am I human? Good question. ( walks over to.) Once upon a time there was this young woman, Susan Welles, she had a baby, but she passed away soon after he was born. That baby was put in an orphanage, and one Christmas night he crawled into my toy sack, and I brought him back here by mistake. The elves took him in, raised him as one of their own. Really? Where is he? Is it Charlie? Buddy, it s you! It s your story! I m not an elf; I m a human. And I m an orphan. Just like Annie. Not exactly. You have a human father, but he never knew that you were born. He lives in a faraway land called New York City. ( takes out a New York City snow globe and hands it to.) And he works. (pointing to the globe) Right there, in the Empire State Building. ( tries to give the snow globe back, but stops him.) Keep it. It s a gift from me. Thank you, Santa. What s my dad like? He s an executive. He publishes children s books. Oh! But I should tell you, he, uh... well, he s on the Naughty List. No! What did he do? Did he wet the bed? No, he just doesn t believe in me anymore. He s lost the Christmas spirit. But Christmas spirit is what makes your sleigh fly! I know. Buddy, it s time you went there to meet him. Okay. Which direction is New York? It s south. We re at the North Pole, Buddy; everything is south. ( starts to leave.) Oh, hey, what s my dad s name? Hobbs. Walter Hobbs. Hobbs? Then I must be Buddy Hobbs! (uncertain) Yay! Script: Buddy / Charlie / Elves / Shawanda How you doing, Buddy? Um, fine Charlie, but... I guess I m gonna be a little short on today s quota. That s all right, Buddy. Just tell me, how many Etch A Sketches did you get finished? I made, uh, eighty-five! Eighty-five? It s ten a.m. and you ve only made eighty-five? Why don t you just say it? I m the worst toy maker in the whole wide world. I m a Cotton-Headed- Ninny-Muggins. You re not a Cotton-Headed-Ninny-Muggins. You have lots of talents, uh, special talents in fact, like, uh...

ELF #1 You re the best basketball player in the whole North Pole! ELF #2 Even better than Santa! ELF #3 And you re the only baritone in the Jingle singers! ELF #4 You bring us down a whole octave. ELF #5 In a good way! See, Buddy? Hey, these elves are getting pretty thirsty. Would you mind doing a round with the cocoa cart? Yay! Cocoa cart! Cocoa cart! ( leaves. motions to SHAWANDA to join him.) Hey, Shawanda. SHAWANDA Yeah, Charlie? I hate to do this to you, but do you think you could pick up the slack with those Etch A Sketches? ( returns. He listens, unnoticed.) SHAWANDA No problem. I appreciate it. I feel bad for the big guy. I just hope he doesn t get wise. SHAWANDA Well, if he hasn t figured out by now that he s a human I don t think he ever will. Human?!? I m human? (Beat.) (desperately whispering to ELF #1) Get Santa! (ELF #1 runs off to get.) You said I m human! No. No. SHAWANDA No, not you Buddy. We we re talking about some other Buddy. Some Buddy... else. No you weren t! Script Fake Santa / Buddy / Child / Mother / Policeman / Ensemble FAKE (in a heavy New York accent) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! (The first MOTHER in line leads a small CHILD to FAKE as rushes over.) Santa! Yeah! Yeah! It s me, Buddy! It s me! FAKE Yo, Buddy, how ya doin? ( S HELPER places the CHILD on FAKE s lap.) It s me! Who the heck are you? FAKE Whadda ya talkin about? I m Santa Claus. No, you re not. FAKE Yes, I am. No, you re not. FAKE (to the CHILD) What can I get you for Christmas? (whispers to CHILD) Don t tell him what you want, he s a liar! FAKE Let the kid talk. CHILD I want Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars. (to FAKE ) You don t smell like Santa. You smell like beef and cheese. FAKE Just cool it, Zippy. You re a fake.

FAKE I m a fake? How d you like to be dead? (pulling off FAKE s hat with the white hair attached) Look, he s not really Santa! ( holds the hat high in the air and begins to run.) Santa s a fake! Santa s a fake! Santa s a fake! (FAKE chases, trying to get his hat back. The CHILDREN scream as their PARENTS try to comfort them.) MOTHER Help! Somebody please help Santa Claus! (Two POLICEMEN appear. They grab s arms to stop him and return the hat to FAKE.) Santa s a fake. Buddy the Elf. You got a last name, Buddy the Elf? POLICEMAN #1 Calm down. Tell us your name. Buddy the Elf. POLICEMAN #2 You got a last name, Buddy the Elf? Hey I do! I m Buddy Hobbs. Do you know my dad, Walter Hobbs? POLICEMAN #1 No, but we ll locate him while you re sitting in a cell cooling your heels. Thanks. My heels are incredibly sweaty. How did you know? SCRIPT Buddy / Michael / Emily / Walter All fixed! MICHAEL Yay, Buddy! (hugs ) You re the man! Nice going, Buddy. ( hugs too. The door opens, and enters. stops short upon seeing, MICHAEL and all happily hugging each other.) What in the devil is going on here?! Hi, Dad! MICHAEL Look, Buddy fixed my wind machine! He s stayin with us! Staying with us? What do you mean, Emily, he s staying with us? ( grabs s arm and moves him away from and MICHAEL. picks up an envelope from the table.) Walter, I ve been, uh, very busy the last couple of days. You see, I took a strand of Buddy s hair, and a few strands of your hair from the sink, then I had my cousin at Beth Israel Hospital compare the two and... (worried) And? (hands the envelope with a DNA report) You have an elf for a son. Oh, no. (During the above, we see and MICHAEL move closer to eavesdrop. races to hug. MICHAEL follows right behind.) Yay! I knew it! I knew it! Dad!!! Dad!!! Dad!!! MICHAEL I got a big brother! This is so cool! I can t believe it! I planned out our whole first day, Dad. Just you and me. Tomorrow we will... Tomorrow I ve got to go to work...

(interrupting) Tomorrow, your father will take you to work with him. All right, but if you re coming with me you ll have to lose that costume. We ll stop at Brooks Brothers on the way and get you a suit. Oh! Can it be red like Santa s? No. Script: Buddy / Jovie How did you like your dinner? Greasy souvlaki on a stick is not dinner. But it s the world s best souvlaki... Look, how about we just call it a night? No! We ve still got so much to do on our date. It s too early to take you home. Hey, did I tell you? You look miraculous. Miraculous, huh? Okay, well you look miraculous too. That elf getup made you look incredibly dorky. Thanks! That wasn t a compli I know! Let s do something Christmas-y! Oh! Let s go skating! I m not a very good skater That s okay, neither am I. Santa says I m a hazard. He calls me Edward Scissorfeet. Stop. Let s make a pact. If you try to be less elf-y, I ll try to be less witchy. Okay. I d like it if you d be less witchy. I came to Rockefeller Center last year too, my first Christmas in New York. Oh, where d you come from? L.A. Christmases there are surreal. No snow. No snow?!? I ve never even seen snow. I ve always wanted to. That s the saddest thing I ve ever heard. Yeah, I ve been here for almost two years and it hasn t snowed once. You know, when I was a kid I dreamed of having a snowy Christmas Eve dinner at Tavern on the Green with Billy Crystal. That sounds so stupid. No it doesn t! Who s Billy Crystal? He sounds magical. He s an actor. You know what? We are going to have Christmas Eve dinner at Tavern on the Green! I don t think so. For one thing, it s been closed for months. It just re-opened, now it s even harder to get in. My dad can get us a table! He can do anything! Buddy, don t promise things you can t deliver.

Jovie, I will make your dream come true. I promise. Wow, I might actually have a real Christmas. You see? You do have Christmas spirit! I guess I do. A little. Now you have to spread it around and remember the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. Script: Sam / Walter/ Deb / Emily / Michael SAM We got a problem, Mr. Hobbs. Jingles The Jolly Christmas Puppy is tanking in every bookstore in the country. Why? SAM Because two whole pages are missing from the last chapter. What? SAM Without them the end of the book makes no sense. (calling to ) Deb! Yes, Mr. Hobbs. Coffee! Now! Right away. ( and twelve-year-old MICHAEL enter.) Hi, darling. MICHAEL Hi, Dad. Ready to go? Go where? Christmas shopping, remember? I can t. I m swamped. MICHAEL Dad, it is well documented that the children of workaholics are prone to self-esteem issues. ( stares at, baffled. stifles a laugh.) Could we please continue this delightful conversation over here? Script: Walter Hobbs / Deb / Chadwick / Matthews/ Buddy / Mr. Greenway You have to work on Christmas Eve, tough luck, so do I. Get it through your heads, Greenway s on his way and if he doesn t buy our pitch, we re all fired. May I make a suggestion? Anything. Whenever we visited my grammy in Budapest, she would tell us the story of little Palko, the onelegged boy. He wished and he wished every year for a leg and then one Christmas morning there it was, under the tree. From Santa. A leg? Yes. A leg. A human leg? Yes, because he d been a very good boy.

That s the most disgusting story I ve ever heard. Well, it s incredibly touching when you hear it in Hungarian. PART 2 Little tomato people. They are busily preparing for Christmas, but little do they know, the mean tomato who lives on top of the mountain is planning to steal Christmas this year. You are describing the Grinch. But with tomatoes! Greenway is going to fire us all if we don t come up with something good, you understand that? ( bursts in, carrying a small manuscript.) I got it! You are familiar, of course, with Christopher Smith. Are you kidding? Christopher Smith was the greatest writer of Christmas stories who ever lived. Mr. Hobbs, I met this guy who recently acquired a desk once owned by one Christopher Smith and in a secret drawer he finds a manuscript. A lost Chris Smith Christmas story? A lost Chris Smith Christmas story! ( hands a small, yellowing manuscript.) Be careful. It s the only copy. (Suddenly,, in his business suit, bursts into the conference room, having just come from his date.) I m in love! And I don t care who knows it! Buddy, please. We re very busy. Dad, I need a table for two at Tavern on the Green, seven o clock, Christmas Eve. And four hundred dollars. The guy s waiting in the lobby, Mr. Hobbs. (to ) Buddy. We ll talk about this in a minute. Just, do me a favor and sit there in that chair. Amuse yourself. Oh, okay, Dad. (to ) Well, bring the guy up here. I want to thank him personally. He s not waiting for a thank you. He s waiting for $300,000. ( puts down the manuscript.) What? Mr. Hobbs, we ve been trying to come up with an idea for a story but we got nothing. We re idiots! And then this comes along: It s a gift from God! And God gets mad when you don t accept his gifts. Fine. I ll write the guy a check. Deb / Buddy / Mr. Greenway / Walter Mr. Greenway, sir. (standing up) Hi, Mr. Greenway, I m Buddy the Elf! MR. GREENWAY What? Who the devil is that?

Well, he s, uh, he s my, son. MR. GREENWAY What?! Deb! Buddy needs a break. (to ) Buddy, why don t you come help me put these documents through the shredder? What s a shredder? It s a machine that makes snow. No way! ( and leave the office.) MR. GREENWAY Hobbs! My phone has been ringing off the hook. Angry mothers, kids crying, What happened to Jingles, the jolly Christmas puppy? It was an unfortunate oversight, Mr. MR. GREENWAY Hobbs, you re out of a job unless you can come up with a blockbuster idea for a new Christmas book. I mean a through- the-roof national bestseller! Well, sir, that s easier said than done! MR. GREENWAY Yes, it is. So you better get your top writers on it, because I will be back in New York on the evening of December twenty- fourth. At that time, you will present to me, in exact detail, your plans for the book! Happy holidays, Hobbs. Script: Security Guards / Walter / Buddy SECURITY GUARD #1 You got a problem here, Mr. Hobbs? Yes! Get this elf out of here! SECURITY GUARD #2 Will do, sir. Let s go, buddy. That s me! SECURITY GUARD #1 Where do you want us to take him? I don t know. Take him to the North Pole. SECURITY GUARD #1 Sure thing. (to SECURITY GUARD #2) The North Pole? SECURITY GUARD #2 No problem. They got one at Macy s. I just came from the North Pole. I walked. It s 3,408 miles. I took the Lincoln Tunnel but if you take the George Washington Bridge it s a mile shorter. Script: Saleswoman / Buddy / Manager SALESWOMAN Welcome to Macy s! How are you today? I m great! I just met my human dad! SALESWOMAN That s fabulous! (holding up a perfume spray bottle) Jungle Passion fruit spray? Fruit spray? Sure. ( takes the bottle from her and sprays it into his mouth. He instantly goes into a childlike fit. The SALESWOMAN takes the bottle away from him, gives a look and hurries off. The department comes up to.)

Hey you! Get back to work! What section I assign you to? I don t know. All right, you work right over there, the North Pole. That s not the North Pole. Yes, it is. No, it s not. Yes, it is. No, it s not. Yes, it is. No, it isn t. Yes, it is. No it s not. Where s the snow?! ( grins happily, and the scowls.) Why you smilin like that? I just like to smile. Smiling s my favorite. Make work your favorite. Yay! I love to work. Good. Nothing makes the big guy happier than to see all his little people working hard. Wait a minute. The big guy from up north? That s the one. Corporate! Always checking up on me. Okay. Fine. We ll work together, me and you, be good pals, okay? Okay! (loudly to all) Attention Macy s shoppers! Santa will be arriving in thirty minutes. In thirty minutes, Santa Claus is comin to town! Script: Chadwick and Matthews / Walter / Buddy Little tomato people. They are busily preparing for Christmas, but little do they know, the mean tomato who lives on top of the mountain is planning to steal Christmas this year. You are describing the Grinch. But with tomatoes! Greenway is going to fire us all if we dont come up with something good, you understand that? (MATTHEW S bursts in, carrying a small manuscript.) I got it! You are familiar, of course, with Christopher Smith. Are you kidding? Christopher Smith was the greatest writer of Christmas stories who ever lived. Mr. Hobbs, I met this guy who recently acquired a desk once owned by one Christopher Smith and in a secret drawer he finds a manuscript. A lost Chris Smith Christmas story? A lost Chris Smith Christmas story!

( hands a small, yellowing manuscript.) Be careful. It s the only copy. (Suddenly,, in his business suit, bursts into the conference room, having just come from his date.) I m in love! And I don t care who knows it! Buddy, please. We re very busy. Dad, I need a table for two at Tavern on the Green, seven oclock, Christmas Eve. And four hundred dollars. The guy s waiting in the lobby, Mr. Hobbs. (to ) Buddy. We ll talk about this in a minute. Just, do me a favor and sit there in that chair. Amuse yourself. Oh, okay, Dad. (to ) Well, bring the guy up here. I want to thank him personally. He s not waiting for a thank you. He s waiting for $300,000. ( puts down the manuscript.) What? Mr. Hobbs, we ve been trying to come up with an idea for a story but we got nothing. We re idiots! And then this comes along: It s a gift from God! And God gets mad when you don t accept his gifts. Fine. I ll write the guy a check. Script: Charlotte Dennon / Darlene / Buddy / Emma CHARLOTTE DENNON Charlotte Dennon, New York One, continuing our live coverage from Central Park. No evidence has yet been found of the UFO that apparently crashed in the park earlier this evening. Perhaps what you millions of New York One viewers saw was Santa Claus making his rounds... (grabbing the microphone and looking into the camera) That s exactly what people saw, only the sleigh crashed because there isn t enough Christmas spirit. CHARLOTTE DENNON It seems that one of Santas elves has joined us. Look! I have Santa s ipad right here! (pointing to a woman in the crowd) You, ma am, what s your name? DARLENE LAMBERT Darlene Lambert. (leafing through the book) Darlene Lambert. On Christmas 1979, Santa brought you a red bicycle with a bell shaped like Miss Piggy. DARLENE LAMBERT What? How did you know that? And you are, ma am? EMMA VAN BROCKLIN Emma Van Brocklin. Christmas. 1960. A Bobby Rydell lunchbox. EMMA VAN BROCKLIN I loved Bobby Rydell! CHARLOTTE DENNON What is this, some kind of a trick? What s your name? CHARLOTTE DENNON Charlotte Dennon, New York One.

Charlotte Dennon, New York One. Yeah, right, here you are. This year you want a Tiffany engagement ring and your boyfriend Dwayne to stop dragging his feet and pop the question. CHARLOTTE DENNON Who told you to say that? My mother? No, it s right here! CHARLOTTE DENNON Okay. That s it. I don t know how you re doing this, but I m not an idiot. Everybody knows that there is no Santa Claus. (realizing what she has just said) Omigosh! I ruined Christmas.