Grade 8 Test 1 TDA Prompt: Authors of science fiction novels use suspense to keep the reader engaged in the story. Analyze the structure of the story to determine how the author of War of the Worlds uses Ogilvy s encounter with the meteorite to increase suspense for the reader. Sample Passage Score 4: Science Fiction, like mystery, is a genre that depends on suspense to build the story line. The author of The War of the Worlds uses setting, word choice and pace to build suspense in this tale. Science Fiction also includes the unusual, the unbelievable, and sometimes the unimaginable to build suspense. In this passage, what initially appears to be a falling star, not an unusual occurrence in the early morning sky on the eastern seaboard, becomes something much more than usual or imaginable in 1898, 1998, or even 2018! The setting for Ogilvy s encounter is at dawn, while others are sleeping and Ogilvy is alone. By himself, he considers a preposterously large geographical area stretching over three states: Connecticut, New York and North Carolina. Unbelievably, he finds the place where the meteorite landed near an isolated sand pit. The setting sets the stage for the suspense because Ogilvy is alone, with no back-up help. He is considering an unbelievably large area and just happens to find the landing place in a spot where he will be alone. Together, these two elements of isolation and the unimaginable create suspense and set the stage for a science fiction tale. In addition, the author chooses words that create suspense. Examples include the sentence Yet this strangest of all things that ever came to earth from outer space to create the impression that this will not be the tale of an ordinary occurrence. The author describes the landing space over five lines of text and includes such descriptions as an enormous hole, the impact of its landing as flinging the sand and gravel violently over as far away as a mile and a half. These words are unexpected and create an unsettling, anxious sense that causes the reader to wonder what could make such an impression. Ogilvy also has this feeling because now the meteorite is called The Thing, another word that creates suspense. The Thing is described using words such as, huge, caked over, scaly and thirty yards (not feet not inches!) wide. These words give the impression of the enormous dimensions of The Thing as well as the strangeness of the surface. Pace also contributes to the building of suspense. The pace is slow during the meticulous description, giving the reader plenty of time to imagine the setting of the crash with its lack of noise and the unusual image of the cylinder. This quiet pace and careful description creates an eerie feeling. Then the pace of the passage picks up as the author describes in three sentences that Ogilvy suddenly realized The Thing was loosing its outside crust, making a sharp noise with no reasonable cause, causing his heart to jump into his mouth. The quickened pace causes even the reader s heart to at least beat faster at the very least with the anxious feeling accompanies suspense. The pace slows as The Thing s top rotates over a five minute period of time, makes a grating sound and jerks open. This slow pace continues to build suspense by creating an anxious feeling and then abruptly ends when Ogilvy realizes, to his astonishment, that a man is emerging! Good Heavens says Ogilvy and the reader should agree because the varied pace, the word choice, and the unbelievable occurrences have created a Science Fiction tale. Although the reader is left to wonder about the man from outer space, the suspense about the cylinder that dropped from outer space has been created and is resolved.
Score 4 Trait/ Description Annotation Effectively addresses all parts of the task demonstrating in-depth understanding of the text(s) The writer understands the implied meaning of the text by explaining relationships or concepts and/or moving past a literal interpretation. Substantial reference to the main idea(s) and relevant key details of the text(s) to support the writer s purpose Main idea is clearly identified and supported through writer s choice of most important details to support author s reason for writing the text. Strong introduction, development, and conclusion including effective use of precise language and skillful transitions Evidence of introduction and conclusion; paragraphs are clearly organized and remain focused. Transitions between paragraphs and among ideas connect thoughts and ideas, contributing to the cohesiveness and flow Thorough analysis of explicit and implicit meanings from text(s) to effectively support claims, opinions, ideas, and inferences Clear claim(s) stated with evidence of text exploration and understanding that is stated or implied Substantial, accurate, and direct reference to the text(s) using relevant key details, examples, quotes, facts, and/or definitions Writing includes elaboration that and remains in the text : quotes are relevant, facts and paraphrasing accurate The writer carefully considers several aspects of writing suspense and Science Fiction in particular (unbelievable). Suspense is clearly identified and all key details contribute to that main idea. Note how topics (word choice, pace, etc.) have been identified as the topics and the references support those topics. This is a piece that can easily result in a retelling of the story and remain only passage based. By identifying the topics in the intro and maintaining that focus, the writer has used organization to remain ontopic. Transitions create flow; word choice is a topic and is well supported with relevant examples. The writer has used text reference to analyze the central points (word choice, pace, setting) of the analysis. Examples with adequate elaboration (> 1 or 2 examples) makes this paper very strong See above
Sample Passage Score: 3 Suspense is something that has an element of being afraid or of not knowing what will happen next. Authors build suspense during the rising action of a story. In War of the Worlds, the author uses specific words to build suspense as well as an element of surprise during this period of the story. The resolution of suspense usually occurs at the climax. That is the structure that H.G. Wells used to create suspense in this passage. The rising action of the story begins when Ogilvy sees a shooting star. He thinks a meteorite has fallen to earth and begins to search for it. When he finds it, the author says its descent made an enormous hole, in fact it was over 300 feet wide (30 yards). Anything that made a hole the size of three football fields has to be even more than enormous and very scary, an element of suspense. He also says that it was a huge cylinder covered with a thick scaly dull-colored incrustation which sounds old and unusual because it is crusted with scales. Being that unusual would be suspenseful. But later on, the grey clinker, the ashy incrustation that covered the meteorite was falling off of the cylinder! The author even says that a piece that was falling off brought Ogilvy s heart into his mouth. That is another way of saying that Ogilvy s heart was beating so fast from the suspense that it felt as if his heart was not in his chest anymore. And the action is still rising. In addition, there was also a noise coming from the cylinder that Ogilvy didn t immediately realize was coming from INSIDE the cylinder! The noises and the fact that some of the scales were falling off would have been a warning of possible danger to Ogilvy, and that builds suspense. Then the top slowly (over 5 minutes) begins to untwist. Surprisingly, the top comes off and a man appears. What could be more suspenseful than a man climbing out of a huge cylinder that was covered in scales, made an enormous hole when it fell to earth and was making strange noises? Watching the top untwist slowly! and a man crawl out tops the suspense. At this point Ogilvy s heart probably felt like it was no longer in his mouth but jumping out of his body! All of these events happen during the rising action and build suspense. The climax is when the man crawls out of the cylinder with more men to follow. The author s story structure builds a suspense by describing many unusual and unbelievable things that happen during the rising action of the story. Most of the passage covers the rising action and, as explained, covers the suspenseful part of the tale. The climax occurs just at the end of the story when the man and perhaps other men begin to come out of the cylinder.
Score 3 Trait/ Description Annotation Adequately addresses all parts of the task demonstrating sufficient understanding of the text(s) The writer understands the implied meaning of the text by addressing relationships or concepts and moving past a literal interpretation. Clear reference to the main idea(s) and relevant key details of the text(s) to support the writer s purpose Main idea is clearly identified and supported through writer s choice of details to support but writing lacks tone and does not acknowledge audience. Appropriate introduction, development, and conclusion including appropriate use of precise language and transitions Evidence of introduction and conclusion but the conclusion may be a mere statement; paragraphs are organized and mostly retain focused but may drift slightly. Transitions between paragraphs are evident and may be among ideas within paragraphs, but may not be well chosen to create flow. Clear analysis of explicit and implicit meanings from text(s) to support claims, opinions, ideas, and inferences Clear claim(s) stated with evidence of text exploration and understanding, but analysis may just enough to satisfy the prompt and stated with support that lacks elaboration. Clear reference to the text(s) using relevant key details, examples, quotes, facts, and/or definitions Most elaboration remains in the text although may wonder at one point; relevant examples are chosen but may not be completely articulated. The writer demonstrates sufficient understanding of the text by describing the structure and examining (only) one aspect specific words of suspense. Addressing more than one element of suspense would strengthen this response by demonstrating an in-depth understanding. There is a back-and forth to the paper. A clear reference is made to a topic or example and an analysis is made. (see analysis below) is appropriate with a clear intro and conclusion. Development is strong with many relevant examples. Transitions (although, then at this point) are used effectively, although the back-and-forth detracts from the flow. Word choice conveys ideas clearly. The depth and amount of analysis places this paper into the 3 scoring range. Even though only one aspect of suspense was addressed, it was well thought out with adequate elaboration. Note the effective use of quotes along with many other references to the text.
Score: 2 and 1 No Exemplar Score 2 1 Trait/ Description Inconsistently addresses some parts of the task demonstrating partial understanding of the text(s). Prompt may not be fully addressed and understanding conveyed may be literal, but may not reach the inferential meaning. However, If there is any evidence of understanding even part of the task, the student may score in this range if the other bullets are in this range. Weak reference to the main idea(s) and key details of the text(s) that somewhat supports the writer s purpose Look for some link to the main idea with some support from analysis and text reference (see bullets below) Weak introduction, development, and conclusion including inconsistent use of precise language and transitions Introduction may be as little as one sentence or as much as two or three. Introduction usually restates the question and states one or two under developed reasons. There is probably only one paragraph with a weak conclusion. The piece could be off-task at some point, but if it states points with reasons, it should be considered within this range. Weak or inconsistent analysis of explicit and implicit meanings from text(s) to somewhat support claims, opinions, ideas, and inferences Look for phrases such as because or so followed by some analysis. If even one attempt at analysis is present, this piece should be scored in the 2 range for this bullet point. Then consider the range of the other bullet points. Vague text reference to the text(s) using some key details, examples, quotes, facts, and/or definitions Look closely for at least one reference to the text. It can be as little as a phrase or minimal quote. Coupled with some analysis, the paper should score within this range. Minimally addresses all parts of the task demonstrating inadequate understanding of the text(s) The piece could have a great deal of writing but only retells the story. Without ANY analysis, the paper cannot score above this range. Minimal reference to the main idea(s) and insufficient details of the text(s) that may or may not support the writer s purpose Minimal evidence of introduction, development, and conclusion including few if any use of precise language and/or Insufficient analysis of text(s) that may or may not support claims, opinions, ideas, and inferences Minimal text reference to the main idea or details of the text(s)