TEAM JUSTICE AND THE CITY HALL SUPERVILLAINS By Luke Simmons (Excerpts may be used royalty free for auditions.) AUDITION -- for 5 m, 2 w, 7 flex In this scene, Team Justice discover the Supervillains evil plan. DOCTOR: (Cont d.) Fellow councilmen! Now that my colleagues and I have been elected to this council, I feel I must be honest with you. My friends and I are supervillains! (There is an exaggerated gasp from ALL NON- SUPERVILLAINS.) CHAIRWOMAN: What?! COUNCILMAN 1: I thought you just really liked lab coats! COUNCILMAN 2: How could we let supervillains be elected to city council? COUNCILMAN 3: Well, I suppose it wouldn t be the first time. DOCTOR: Fools! Didn t the name Consortium of Darkness tip you off? COUNCILMAN 2: I mean, I didn t want to say anything (Other COUNCILMEMBERS nod, mutter in agreement.) DOCTOR: I am Doctor Dread, the most brilliant mad scientist of all time! This is my assistant, Igrov! IGROV: Yes, yes, that s me! (Laughs bizarrely.) DOCTOR: He s union. (COUNCILMEMBERS nod knowingly, say Ah, Gotcha, etc.)
BOTH TWINS: (Unison.) We are the Twins. We are of one mind. We speak as one, think as one, and act as one. TWIN 1: It makes bathroom breaks kind of awkward. TWIN 2: And checkers kind of boring. HORSEMAN: (Speaks regally.) And I am the Headless Horseman, the most feared villain of colonial America! CHAIRWOMAN: Wait, if you lived in colonial America, shouldn t you have died a long time ago? HORSEMAN: (Laughs.) I have cheated death! You see, (HORSEMAN continues to pantomime a dramatic monologue, mouthing the words. NARRATOR speaks.) NARRATOR: What follows is a very long origin story involving shadowy government agencies, a very forced love interest, and an improbable science experiment. As it is entirely unnecessary to the plot, we have removed it for your convenience. Thank you, and enjoy the rest of the show. (HE stops speaking just as the HORSEMAN is wrapping up.) HORSEMAN: and now they shall all pay! COUNCILMAN 3: But if you re the Headless Horseman, why do you have a head? HORSEMAN: You misunderstand. I have a headless horse. ALL COUNCILMEN: Ooooooh. DOCTOR: Now you know who we are, and soon the world will know! Our evil plan is already in motion! CHAIRWOMAN: Evil plan? DOCTOR: Is there an echo in here? Igrov! The visual aids! IGROV: Yes, master! (Fumbling, IGROV produces a large notepad and easel from behind the table. On the first page is written Our Evil Plan: The Best Plan Ever. He turns the page to Phase one: Get elected to city council. )
DOCTOR: Phase one! Get elected to city council. This was all too easy! How, you ask? A winning smile and a carefully coordinated door-knocking campaign. Also, mind control. Slide! (IGROV turns the page. Phase two: Pass the Superhero Regulation Act. ) DOCTOR: (Cont d.) Once we were elected, we used our power to pass a bill making it nearly impossible to do superhero work in this city! COUNCILMAN 3: I don t remember voting for that! (All VILLAINS laugh.) HORSEMAN: Of course not! DOCTOR: We snuck it onto page 321 of the bill that required leashes in all city dog parks! TWINS: (Unison.) We knew none of you would read it! DOCTOR: Now Team Justice will find themselves trapped in a web of regulations, fines, and red tape the likes of which the world has never seen! (All VILLAINS laugh evilly. In the back row of the audience, all four SUPERHEROES drop newspapers and stand up.) JACK: Ah-ha! JOHNNY: I knew supervillains were behind this! ALL NON-HEROES: Superheroes?! DOCTOR: Team Justice, how nice of you to join us! We were just discussing your defeat! But I thought only losers went to city council meetings? COUNCILMAN 1: Still right here, man. JACK: Save it for supervillain jail, Doctor Dread! The jig is up! HORSEMAN: Ah, but Jack! The jig has only just begun! JOHNNY: How do you figure? DOCTOR: Well, first of all, supervillain jail isn t a thing. Second of all, you can t stop us!
PHANTOM: (Putting fists up.) We ll see about that! TWINS: (Unison.) Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast! DOCTOR: Think carefully! That s illegal, remember? JACK: Chairwoman? CHAIRWOMAN: Technically, he s right. If the bill was signed into law, then that means superhero work really is illegal. PHANTOM: This is ridiculous! The law is supposed to help the citizens, not villains! CHAIRWOMAN: Well, unfortunately, it doesn t always work that way. CHICK: Wow! There s probably some kind of lesson here about doing due diligence in government to prevent corruption. COUNCILMAN 2: Also, being careful who to vote for. DOCTOR: There very well may be! (ALL CHARACTERS in unison pause, turn to face audience, and stare them down pointedly for a couple of brief moments, then turn back and continue.) HORSEMAN: Nonetheless, you shall never stop our plan! JOHNNY: Oh yeah? And why is that? DOCTOR: Because even if we hadn t completely beaten you with our evil plan, you re terrible superheroes to begin with. JACK: What?! DOCTOR: Well, for starters, you cut us off right in the middle of a presentation about our evil plan. (All SUPERHEROES begin to protest, then peter out. They say these lines together:) JOHNNY: (With PHANTOM, JACK and CHICK.) Yeah JACK: (With JOHNNY, PHANTOM and CHICK.) Okay. PHANTOM: (With JOHNNY, JACK and CHICK.) I feel like that s fair. CHICK: (With JOHNNY, JACK and PHANTOM.) What? IGROV: But master, you said there was one way
DOCTOR: (Sharply.) Yes, thank you, Igrov, that will be all! IGROV: A way to stop the evil plan DOCTOR: Silence, Igrov! JACK: No, Igrov, go on! JOHNNY: Yes, Igrov, that sounds very interesting! CHAIRWOMAN: Oh, for Pete s sake! Anybody with basic knowledge of the political system knows how to stop this evil plan. JACK: We re doomed! (CHAIRWOMAN rolls her eyes.) HORSEMAN: I blame the public schools. CHAIRWOMAN: If Team Justice can get enough signatures, they can petition the city council for a referendum overturning the Superhero Regulation Act. JACK: Oh...of course. JOHNNY: Gotcha. PHANTOM: Naturally. CHICK: We understood that CHAIRWOMAN: (Exasperated.) You need to convince a lot of people to sign a petition in order to beat these supervillains. SUPERHEROES: (Understanding.) Ooooooh. JACK: Are you sure we couldn t just y know punch them? PHANTOM: Yeah, I really think I d prefer that. CHAIRWOMAN: Most politicians would, but that s just not how it works. JOHNNY: Whatever! We ll just get the signatures. How many do we need, anyways? CHAIRWOMAN: Ten JACK: Awesome! CHAIRWOMAN: Thousand. JACK: What?! (All VILLAINS laugh.) TWINS: Impossible!
DOCTOR: You ll never manage to gather enough signatures before our plan is complete! PHANTOM: Ah-ha! So there is more to your plan! HORSEMAN: Of course! You think our master plan was simply to become city councilmen? What a terrible goal! COUNCILMEN: (Aggressively, in unison.) Still right here! JACK: Of course we ll get the signatures! DOCTOR: Oh, really? PHANTOM: Why wouldn t we? COUNCILMAN 2: Well, not to take their side, but you aren t exactly the most personable. PHANTOM: What s that supposed to mean? CHAIRWOMAN: It means you guys are kind of jerks. CHICK: Wow, rude! What a mean thing to say. Why would you say that? Is it cause you re mad cause you re not pretty? CHAIRWOMAN: All right, you know what? I was going to help you folks, but now you re on your own. Meeting adjourned! (SHE raps her gavel and storms offstage. The OTHER COUNCIL MEMBERS follow her.) JACK: (Calling after her as SHE exits.) Oh, nice! Real mature! Well, we don t need your help anyway, you meanie-face stupid-head! We re really nice! (To OTHERS.) Can you believe her? PHANTOM: She seemed kind of mad. CHICK: I don t see how that s my fault. I mean, she wasn t pretty. JOHNNY: Some people have no class. DOCTOR: Speaking of which, we really must be going. Good luck, Team Justice! TWINS: See you at your ultimate defeat! PHANTOM: We ll see about that! JOHNNY: You ll never get away with whatever it is you re trying to get away with! HORSEMAN: Yes, yes we shall see, shan t we? DOCTOR: Until later!
(All VILLAINS exit, laughing.) CHICK: What are we going to do now? JACK: Well, I have to admit, I wasn t totally paying attention for one hundred percent of that, but it sounds like we re going to need a lot of people to sign this piece of paper. JOHNNY: Oh, is that all? That should be easy! PHANTOM: We save the city all the time! JACK: Exactly! Everybody in this town loves us! (THEY all laugh robustly, then trail off, and look slightly concerned.) JACK: don t they? (BLACKOUT. End Scene.) From: Team Justice and the City Hall Supervillains- By Luke Simmons Published by: Eldridge Publishing Co. http://www.histage.com/playdetails.asp?pid=2609