Happy Returns The Ages and Stages Company 2013 The Ages & Stages project Website: www.keele.ac.uk/agesandstages jrezzano@newvictheatre.org.uk
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Happy Returns AS THE AUDIENCE ENTER, THERE IS MUSIC PLAYING AND THE COMPANY ARE BUSY ARRANGING THE BIRTHDAY PARTY SCENE. THERE IS A BANNER WITH HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON IT TO BE HUNG AND DECORATIONS TO BE ARRANGED. WE MIGHT ALSO USE ONE OF THE TABLES BELONGING TO THE SPACE FOR CUPS AND PAPER NAPKINS. SOMEONE IS ALSO ARRANGING THE GUESTS COATS AND BAGS INTO A PILE (THESE WILL BE USED TO PUT ON AS TOKEN COSTUME LATER). THERE ARE ALSO BALLOONS WITH DIFFERENT AGES ON, WHICH CAN BE GIVEN TO MEMBERS OF THE AUDIENCE TO HOLD. THE COMPANY ALSO TALK TO THE AUDIENCE AS THEY COME IN, THANKING THEM FOR COMING, EXPLAINING THAT IT S A SURPRISE PARTY AND ASKING ABOUT GOOD OR MEMORABLE BIRTHDAYS THAT THEY HAVE HAD. THERE ARE CHAIRS FOR THE AUDIENCE ARRANGED IN SMALL GROUPS, PERHAPS EVEN AROUND TABLES. THE SMALL GROUPS WILL BE APPROPRIATE FOR THE DISCUSSIONS THAT WILL ARISE FROM THE SCENES. AS THE AUDIENCE BECOME SEATED, WE CONTINUE TO MINGLE AND CHAT. THE OBJECTIVE IS TO GET PEOPLE INTO CONVERSATION ABOUT BIRTHDAYS AND WHAT THEY MEAN TO US AT DIFFERENT AGES. FINALLY, THE MUSIC IS SWITCHED OFF AND EVERYONE IS SSHHED BY ONE PERSON, AND 3 PEOPLE WHO HAVEN T PREVIOUSLY BEEN WITH US WALK IN. 3
ALL: Surprise! THE 3 ARE SURPRISED AND DELIGHTED AND EACH ONE IS GIVEN A CARD. JESS: (READING) How to be 21: when drunk wear a traffic cone as a sign of maturity. A good night out will still involve throwing up. Is this me? BRENDA: (READING) 40 TH birthday! Vodka, cheaper than botox and paralyses more muscles. Is this me? DAVID: (READING) 60. You ve seen it all and done it all. It s just a shame, you can t remember it all. Is this me? AS THE VOICES ARE READING OUT THEIR CARDS, THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE COMPANY CAN REACT WITH THEIR EXPRESSIONS. DEPENDING ON HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT WHAT IS BEING SAID, THEY CAN SHARE THAT WITH WHOEVER IS CLOSEST TO THEM, AUDIENCE OR COMPANY MEMBER. JESS/BRENDA/DAVID: (LOOKING AT THE CARDS) Is this us? STEVEN: Well, they don t just make this stuff up. There must be some truth in it, don t you think? JESS: They might as well just write: 21! Self-centred and anti-social. JACKY: Well, yes. They must be right or people wouldn t buy them. BRENDA: They could just put: 40 - You re over the hill, you re no spring chicken. MATT: Come off it, people will buy anything these days. DAVID: I mean, why don t they just write: Your memory goes at 60; you re on the downward slope. JACKY: It s just a bit of fun. No offence. 4
JUDY: Besides, we all know what it s like. Younger people are more like this: POINTING TO A CARD no offence. And older people are well, more like that: POINTING TO ANOTHER CARD. JESS/BRENDA/DAVID: No offence. JUDY: Exactly. JESS, BRENDA AND DAVID ARE ABOUT TO ANSWER BACK AGAIN, BUT JACKY JUMPS IN JACKY: Right, games! Let s have one... COLIN: I brought one. JACKY: Really? COLIN: Yeah, I got it cheap after Christmas in Hanley. But, it s got all the bits. DIY Bingo, it s called. I m not sure why. CARDS AND PENS ARE HANDED OUT TO THE AUDIENCE FOR EVERYONE TO PLAY WITH. NAOMI: Grandad, how cheap was this? COLIN: Very cheap, why? NAOMI: There s no numbers on the cards. DAVID: We could put the numbers in ourselves. Here s an idea: today s about birthdays, yes? So, how about if I ask a few questions about age or birthdays and the answers are the numbers that you put in on the cards? How about that? MEMBERS OF THE COMPANY CHECK THAT AUDIENCE MEMBERS HAVE CARDS AND PENS. THEY ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO PUT NUMBERS ON TO A SQUARE ON THEIR CARD IN RESPONSE TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. THIS SHOULD START UP CONVERSATIONS IN THE AUDIENCE AND WITH THE COMPANY TOO. BETWEEN QUESTIONS, THE 5
CALLER CAN COMMENT ON HOW MUCH THOUGHT PEOPLE ARE GIVING TO THE QUESTIONS. THE COMPANY CAN ALSO ADD COMMENTS OR START CONVERSATIONS. DAVID: Right then are we ready? Question number one: How old do you feel, today? How old do you feel, today? Put the number in one of the blank squares on the card simple! Question number two: How old do people think you are?... How old do people think you are? Hmmm: the reverse of that: How old would you like to be? (PAUSE) Here s an interesting thought at what age do you start being old? NAOMI: Sixty! DAVID: Thank-you! At what age do you start being old? MATT: I m sorry to interrupt David but can t we just write random numbers down? These are just random ages. MICHAEL: They re not random, they must mean something. JUDY: It s all random, everything you re meant to do as you grow up. They just pick an age and that has to suit everyone: over 18s only, under 16s go free, discount for the over 50s random JACKY: There s got to be a reason for it. JUDY: Random, it s all random. BRENDA: You ve got to draw the line somewhere. MATT: I ve got a good number. DAVID: Go on then. MATT: How old are you, when you start getting away with things again? JUDY: Getting away with things? What kind of things? 6
MATT: Well, at our corner shop they only let three school kids in at once. Can you imagine a sign that says only 3 people aged over 60 in the shop at once. PEOPLE CLAMMER TO BE LET IN THE SHOP, A STERN SHOPKEEPER SENDS THEM PACKING. NAOMI: Maybe there should be eh Jacky? JACKY: What s that supposed to mean? NAOMI: You know. JACKY STILL LOOKS PUZZLED NAOMI: You know! That story you told us about that sign outside the care home: the road sign. JACKY: Well that was different, they had no choice. It was a protest! JESS: Protest? Shouldn t you leave that to the kids? DAVID: A protest? What about? What happened? NAOMI: Jacky, tell David about it. JACKY: (ADDRESSING MICHAEL, BRENDA AND COLIN) You remember? I told you the story. There were quite a few of them and they couldn t even get across the road. They needed to take some positive action. AS JACKY SPEAKS, MICHAEL, BRENDA AND COLIN SELECT COATS AND HATS FROM THE HAT STANDS AND PUT THEM ON. JACKY: Do you want to hear this story now David in the middle of your party? DAVID: Yes please, absolutely. 7
JACKY: OK well, this is how it was. MICHAEL: Enough was enough; it was time to take the law into our own hands. BRENDA: I d been here for years. But, I never did anything til now. COLIN: I could have been killed. JUDY: The residents have been trying to get something done for years. COLIN IS LEFT IN HIS SEAT, THE OTHERS GET UP AND MOVE THE CHAIRS INTO THE SHAPE OF A CAR AND PUT THE ROAD SIGN SHOWING ELDERLY PEOPLE IN PLACE. BRENDA: Is this us? THEY INSPECT THE SIGN. JACKY: Supposed to be, I think. MICHAEL: Just put it there. We ll need it in a minute. SOUND FX OF LOUD TRAFFIC NOISE. COLIN, (AS DRIVER): I know this road so well, I always take it slowly. THE OTHERS MEANWHILE ARE AT THE SIDE, TRYING TO CROSS THE ROAD UNSUCCESSFULY. THEY GO BACK TO JUDY, WHO TRIES TO REASSURE THEM. THEY ARE NOT SATISFIED. BRENDA: We made sure he didn t miss the sign the next day. COLIN FREEZES. THE OTHERS RUMMAGE THROUGH THE PARTY COATS AND HATS AND RETURN WITH A SPRAY CAN. THEY SURROUND THE SIGN AND WHEN THEY MOVE, IT HAS BEEN ALTERED TO SHOW A RAISED WALKING STICK. THE SOUND OF TRAFFIC NOISE BEGINS AGAIN. 8
COLIN, DRIVING ALONG IS DISTRACTED BY THE SIGN: What!? I could ve been killed! JACKY: We had no choice. MICHAEL: I don t regret it. COLIN: Someone should be held responsible. JUDY: I did not condone the protest. BRENDA: I was being what you call pro-active. JUDY: I did not condone the protest. STEVEN: I d like to see you in the office now. EVERYONE LOOKS AT JUDY. FREEZE. MATT: You see, if young people did that, everyone would go bezerk. JESS: They told you: it was a protest. MATT: Doesn t matter... it s still wrong. They get found out, don t they? JUDY GETS UP AND GOES INTO THE MANAGER S OFFICE. A TABLE IS PUT IN PLACE BETWEEN THEM AND TWO CHAIRS. STEVEN: I have received a very serious complaint from the council. A road sign has been defaced: it put a member of the public in danger and they have reason to believe that a resident from here may be responsible. JUDY: I didn t organise the protest. STEVEN: Protest? So, you know about this do you? JUDY: Well, the residents have written to the council... I mean, some drivers just ignore pedestrians. Once they get behind the wheel, they become very selfish. 9
STEVEN: That s not the point. You are supposed to be in charge here. JUDY: They re adults. We can t tell them how to behave. STEVEN: Old adults! We are supposed to be responsible for them, for looking after them. JUDY: How can we be looking after them if we allow STEVEN: It s going to cost money to replace the sign. JUDY: Oh, will it be the same one? STEVEN: Of course it will. And with budgets the way they are here... JUDY: I understand that. STEVEN: The question is: who is going to pay? JUDY: Well, the residents have been trying to get something done... STEVEN: I ll leave you to have a think about it, shall I? JESS: She isn t responsible for this. NAOMI: She s responsible for the residents. JESS: She didn t organise it, they did. MATT: They d never let young people get away with it. JESS: They were in danger; they d asked the council to sort it out. JUDY TURNS BACK TO THE OFFICE AND IS ABOUT TO KNOCK ON THE DOOR. NAOMI: She can t go back in there. She doesn t know what to say. MATT: So, what would you say? Who is responsible? 10
NAOMI: I don t know. I need to think. Well, what would you say? THE AUDIENCE IS ASKED AS A WHOLE FOR OPINIONS. THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE SUGGESTIONS. JESS: We haven t got long; she needs to go back in. NAOMI: Right, well I think Judy should tell her boss that she ll find out who did it. DAVID: She can t do that! She ll drop them right in it. MATT: Good! NAOMI: Well, we need to decide what s fair. We ll have a vote. Who thinks that no matter how old you are, you re responsible for your own actions and that the residents should pay to replace the sign? Hands up. Who thinks that the situation with the road should have been sorted out and the residents should have been listened to in the first place, and they shouldn t have to pay? NAOMI COUNTS THE HANDS AND, DEPENDING ON HOW THE VOTE GOES, WE PLAY OPTION A or OPTION B. OPTION A NAOMI: Well, it looks like Judy should tell her boss that the residents are responsible and that they should pay. JUDY KNOCKS AND ENTERS THE OFFICE JUDY: Well, as the residents, some of the residents were actually responsible for the er protest STEVEN: Damage. JUDY: It does seem reasonable that they should actually pay for it. Perhaps, we could take it out of the Christmas fund. STEVEN: Good. That s sorted then. 11
JUDY: It s just they do feel that they should have been listened to and more should have been done about the road. In fact, some people may even consider moving. STEVEN: Moving? From here? Well, obviously, I will speak to the council again: put our case to them about the road. We wouldn t want to lose anyone. Leave it with me; I ll see what I can do. JUDY. Yes, thank you. OPTION B NAOMI: Right, so Judy should go back in and tell her boss that the road should have been sorted out a long time ago and they re not paying. JUDY KNOCKS AND ENTERS THE OFFICE JUDY: I ve had a chance to speak to the residents and they feel STEVEN: It happened off the premises, it s their responsibility. JUDY: They have tried to get something done; look at the letters they ve written. STEVEN: Well, of course I ll have to check the position as regards our responsibility. JUDY: They may even decide to move somewhere else, somewhere a bit safer perhaps. STEVEN: Leave? Leave here? Well, obviously, I will be in touch with the council, make them aware of our very serious concerns with the traffic. Please reassure the residents won t you? JUDY: Yes, thank you. DAVID: So what happened about the road sign? ALL: They re still waiting! 12
MUSIC PLAYS AS THE OFFICE SETTING IS BEING CLEARED AND THE COMPANY GET BACK TO BEING AT THE PARTY AGAIN. COLIN: Can we get on with the bingo now? NAOMI: Grandad, maybe we ll play the bingo later eh? THE COMPANY COLLECT IN THE BINGO CARDS AND PENS FROM THE AUDIENCE AND CONTINUE PARTYING. DAVID: Well, it might not be perfect but at least you know where you are with a sign, it s definite. It s much worse when you don t know what to do or how you should behave. BRENDA: Yes, and sometimes I don t think young people can do right for doing wrong especially on buses GROUP GRAB CHAIRS AND MAKE A CROWDED BUS. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE TO STAND OR HOLD ON, MIGHT BE READING A NEWSPAPER because, if they stand up and give you their seat, I always say SOMEONE STANDS TO OFFER THEIR SEAT. ALL: Oh, thank you very much! BRENDA: I just think JESS: Excuse me! BRENDA: No, I don t say DAVID: Excuse me! BRENDA: But, I think to myself ALL: Excuse me! Do I look old enough to have this seat? BRENDA LEAVES AND RE ENTERS BRENDA: Then, if they don t stand up EVERYONE IGNORES THEM You think huh! 13
ALL: They can t win! JACKY: I think the media or whatever has done a lot of damage between the age groups. NAOMI: Because older people expect young people to be horrible, so they don t know how to be with them. BRENDA: Another time at the station, two young fellas came up to me and said STEVEN AND COLIN (AS 2 YOUNG FELLAS): Can we carry your case? BRENDA: And I thought JESS: Are they going to make off with it? BRENDA: It did, it went through my head. NAOMI, INDICATING THE YOUNG FELLAS: But, that was really kind. BRENDA: It was really kind. But that horrible thought went through my head, just because they were young. FREEZE BACK TO THE PARTY STEVEN: But, be honest, you re not always wrong are you? BRENDA: How do you mean? STEVEN: Well, you see it all around you, the difference between the way older people and younger people behave. Even I m afraid sometimes. MATT: Afraid? Afraid of what? 14
STEVEN: Like, walking home the other night, I think Oh my goodness, there s 2 or 3 young people on a street corner, dare I walk past? MATT: Really? STEVEN: Really; I ll show you. Look, you be me for a minute. GIVES MATT A COAT FROM THE HAT STAND TO WEAR. Now stand over there. MATT: OK. DOESN T MOVE. STEVEN: What are you waiting for? MATT: Well, I don t know how to be you, do I? I mean, how did you actually feel? STEVEN: Well, scared. Very nervous indeed. Go on then. MATT LOOKS VERY SCARED. STEVEN: Well, not like that, exactly. I didn t want them to know I was scared. MATT ADJUSTS HIS EXPRESSION. STEVEN: Yes, more like that. Right, I ll be one of them: the teenagers on the street. HE GOES AND PICKS UP A COAT FROM THE PILE. MATT: How? STEVEN: How what? MATT: How can you be? You don t know what they were feeling or thinking. STEVEN: I know what I saw, I know how they made me feel. Wait a minute, there were more of them. I need more people to show you. MORE PEOPLE FROM THE COMPANY JOIN THEM, STEVEN HANDS OUT COATS AND HATS FOR THEM TO WEAR. This is how it was: 15
STEVEN INDICATES WHERE THE TEENAGERS SHOULD GO AND WHERE THE PASSERBY SHOULD ENTER. THEY LOOK AT THE PASSERBY AS HE HESITATES TO WALK PAST. THEY APPEAR AS INTIMIDATING AS THE PASSERBY PERCEIVES THEM TO BE. MATT(AS STEVEN) THE SCARED PASSERBY: I think oh my goodness, there s 2 or 3 young people on the street corner. Dare I walk past? STEVEN (COMING OUT OF TEENAGER MODE): And I thought I hope my grandchildren don t turn out like that! MATT: I can see why you might have been nervous. So, what happened next? STEVEN: What do you mean? MATT: What do we do now? You know: you said, then they said STEVEN: Well, I didn t hang about to chat. I ve told you what happened. I was anxious, helpless. NAOMI (AS TEENAGER): Anxious. Helpless. STEVEN: I wished I could have been at home. NAOMI (AS TEENAGER): I wished I could have been at home. STEVEN: Didn t they realise it was dark? BRENDA (AS TEENAGER): Didn t he realise there was nowhere to go? JESS: I bet he s going have a moan. STEVEN: I bet they thought they could scare me. BRENDA: I bet he thought we were going mug him. 16
MATT STARTS TO MOVE OVER TO WHERE THE TEENAGERS ARE STANDING. DURING THE NEXT EXCHANGE, OTHER MEMBERS OF THE COMPANY HAVE BEGUN TO STAND AND MINGLE WITH THE AUDIENCE. STEVEN: I bet they were waiting... hang on, you re supposed to be me. What are you doing there? MATT: Sorry, but I bet they didn t even notice you were there. STEVEN: course they did. They were doing it on purpose. MATT: You don t know what they were thinking, just what you thought they were. STEVEN: I know what I saw, how they made me feel. MATT: Exactly, you don t know... STEVEN, TO EVERYONE ELSE AND DIRECTED AT THE AUDIENCE: Oh look, you know what I m talking about don t you? Tell him. AFTER A FEW SECONDS OF SILENCE. STEVEN: Well? MEMBERS OF THE COMPANY EXCHANGE LOOKS WITH THE AUDIENCE, UNSURE OF WHAT TO SAY. THEY ASK THE PEOPLE CLOSEST BY IF THEY KNOW WHAT STEVEN MEANS? THEY THEN GATHER PEOPLE FROM THE AUDIENCE INTO SMALLER GROUPS. DISCUSSIONS THEN TAKE PLACE, BASED AROUND 3 MAIN QUESTIONS: WHAT IS THE PASSERBY MOST AFRAID OF? WOULD YOU BE AFRAID? DO THE YOUNG PEOPLE KNOW THAT THEY ARE MAKING HIM AFRAID? NOTES ARE MADE OF RESPONSES AND PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THE SCENE CAN ALSO VISIT AND ENGAGE WITH THE GROUPS. 17
AFTER A FEW MINUTES, STEVEN ASKS AGAIN... STEVEN: Well, what have you said? MEMBERS OF THE COMPANY AND THE AUDIENCE IF THEY WISH TO, SUMMARISE THEIR DISCUSSIONS AND FEEDBACK TO STEVE. STEVEN: Is this what you saw? MUSIC FX STARTS AGAIN. NAOMI: It s one way of looking at it. MUSIC FX GETS LOUDER AND THE PARTY STARTS UP AGAIN. THE COMPANY CONTINUE CHATTING AND DRINKING. COLIN: Oh no! JUDY: What? COLIN: You re so busy enjoying yourselves we ve forgot the presents! DAVID: Well, I was going to mention... DAVID GOES TO THE DECORATED BOX OF PRESENTS AND BRINGS THEM OVER, HAS A LOOK THROUGH. COLIN: Labels please, Judy. JUDY: I haven t got them. COLIN: You must have. JUDY: No, you said you d do them. COLIN: I didn t. I knew you d forget. JUDY: I didn t forget, you did! 18
MATT: Hang on, I thought we weren t doing presents. DAVID: Why don t we ask our friends and guests to open up the presents and decide who they re for? THE BOXES ARE GIVEN OUT TO DIFFERENT SECTIONS OF THE AUDIENCE AND, WITH HELP FROM THE COMPANY, THEY DISCUSS AND DECIDE - BASED ON THE CONTENTS - THE AGE OF THE PERSON THAT THE PRESENT IS MEANT FOR. THE PRESENTS ARE: A HOT WATER BOTTLE; A BEAUTY VOUCHER; THEATRE TICKET VOUCHERS; A GARDENING SET; CASH; A DIGITAL CAMERA; A RECORD VOUCHER; A VOUCHER FOR GOLF LESSONS. AFTER SOME TIME, THEY ARE INTERRUPTED. JUDY: Stop I m sorry everyone, stop. We ve lost track of the time. I ve got to lock up at half eleven. JESS STARTS TO TELL WHO IS BEING GIVEN WHICH PRESENT AND THIS CONTINUES ROUND THE ROOM UNTIL ALL THE PRESENTS HAVE BEEN ALLOTTED. THIS SHOULD GENREATE FURTHER DISCUSSION WITH THE AUDIENCE ABOUT AGE APPROPIATENESS. THE GROUP, HELPED BY THE AUDIENCE, START TO CLEAR THE SPACE, PUTTING PRESENTS BACK AND TIDYING UP. DAVID: That was good. Something for everyone. NAOMI: But, how do we know it was what they really wanted? THEN ADDRESSING JESS What was your best present ever? JESS: Obviously this surprise party! AS THE COMPANY CLEAR THE SPACE, THEY SPEAK ABOUT PRESENTS THEY RECEIVED AT DIFFERENT AGES AND PRESENTS THEY WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE IN THE FUTURE. THEY CAN BE EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS OBJECTS. THE SENTENCES MIGHT BEGIN On my... birthday I got. Or When I m... what I want. WE WILL JUST GIVE A FEW EXAMPLES. 19
MATT: You could ask NAOMI: Ask? Ask who? MATT: INDICATING THE AUDIENCE: Ask them what they want. JACKY: Who left these here? THE LABELS ARE FOUND HIDDEN AMONGST THE PAPER NAPKINS OR COATS. THE COMPANY LOOK AT EACH OTHER, THEN BEGIN TO GIVE OUT THE LABELS AND PENS. DAVID: Why don t we ask our guests what they would most like for a birthday in the future? Then we ll know. AS THE LABELS GO OUT, THERE CAN BE SOME EXPLANATION THAT IT DOESN T HAVE TO BE AN OBJECT. YOU CAN PUT THE AGE THAT YOU WILL BE, BUT YOU DON T HAVE TO. A BOWL FROM THE TABLE IS USED TO COLLECT UP THE LABELS. WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN COLLECTED, THE COMPANY PICK OUT LABELS TO READ. JUDY: Come on, we need to go. THEY COLLECT UP AS MUCH AS THEY CAN. SOMEONE NOTICES THAT THE BIRTHDAY CARDS FROM THE BEGINNING HAVE BEEN LEFT BEHIND AND WAVES THEM AT THE OTHERS. NAOMI: Hang on. Don t you want these? DAVID: No thanks. I think we d rather write our own. END 20