Sentences, Dialogue, Interjections, Words David Barringer dlbarringer@gmail.com 2015 I. Sentences Re read your sentences carefully, line by line. Do not assume your sentences are fine. Assume, instead, that you will have to edit many of your sentences. Writing is rewriting! A. A sentence (S) is a group of words containing a subject (s), a verb (v), and sometimes an object (o), and the sentence must make sense. The normal word order of the English sentence is svo. subject (s) + verb (v) + object (o) = Sentence (S) s + v + o = S Example: The monster (s) eats (v) tofu (o). B. Make sure your sentences are sentences, not run-ons or fragments. S, and S. Yes! This is a compound sentence. Example: I ran, and I jumped. Use comma. S, and S, and S. No! This is a run-on. Example: I ran, and I jumped, and I fell. S, S, and S. Yes! This is a series of three independent clauses. Example: I ran, I jumped, and I fell. v + o No! This is a fragment. Example: Ran into a wall. (s +) v + o Yes! This is an imperative sentence. The subject you is implied. Example: Watch out! C. Simplify your sentences to clarify action and thought. Do not cram actions and thoughts into super-long sentences. Use many simple sentences to dramatize action. One thing happens. Then the next thing happens. Use many simple sentences to build to a larger, more complex thought. You express one idea. Then you express another idea. You are helping the reader imagine the action of your story or follow the thought process of your essay.
Action example: Jumbled ( confusing ) order of action: Before spraining his ankle after jumping out the window, Carl ran down the hall. Sequential ( clear ) order of action: Carl ran down the hall, jumped out the window, and sprained his ankle. Thought example: Dense ( incomprehensible ) expression of thinking: My project attempts to remediate, through traditional design media, the failures of institutional communication as that communication relates to hygienic imperatives in a private/public context. Clear ( comprehensible ) expression of thinking: I wanted to design a poster to encourage visitors to airport restrooms to wash their hands. II. Dialogue A. Use double quotes to indicate a direct quotation, said Mr. B. B. Place periods and commas inside the close quotes, like this, and like this. C. Mr. B. said, Use single quotes inside double quotes to indicate when you are quoting someone else, and Mr. B. also said to end a nested quotation like this, said a student. D. When someone screams, use an exclamation point. Oh, no! Frank screamed. E. When someone asks a question, use a question mark. Are you scared? asked Helga. F. You may, added Mr. B., break up dialogue by inserting the attribution inside the quotation. G. However, Mr. B. said, do not sacrifice rhythm or sense for the sake of variety. Dramatize your story, and develop your thinking. Don t fuss with sentence variety or synonyms for said. Your default attribution should be like so: I like turtles, said the boy. H. Don t miss the forest for the trees, said Mr. B. This means keep the story in mind, which is another way of reminding you to respect the reader.
III. Interjections A. Okay, Mr. Smith, I m here to help. I was wondering, Mom, where the cookies are. B. Hey, Bill! I m waiting for you. C. Man, that s awesome. Dude, that s crazy. Whoa, Dude, that was scary. D. His friend Bill said so. Bill, his friend, said so. IV. Words A. Use a dictionary to check the meanings of your words. B. Use the spellcheck function. C. Use Ctrl+H (PC) or Cmd+Shft+H (MAC) to employ Find and Replace in your Google doc. faze/phase wail/whale to/too whole/hole through/threw there/their blond/blonde okay or O.K., not ok whoa, not woa yeah, not yea apart from/a part of short-lived moment, high-pitched voice, high-school student, hot-dog bun reeked/wreaked havoc/wrecked/nerve-wracking conscious/conscience 90s/the 1990s The boy is ten years old. The boy is a ten-year old. The ten-year-old boy is here. Your is possessive. Example: Your car is parked illegally. You re is a contraction of you + are. Example: You are kind to animals. You re kind to animals. Its is possessive. Example: Its fur was matted. It s is a contraction of it + is. Example: It is snowing outside. It s snowing outside. Lay is what a subject (s) does to an object (o). Example: The student lays a book on the nightstand. The student laid a book on the nightstand. Forms: lay, laid, had laid, is or was laying Lie is what a subject (s) does for themselves. Example: The student lies down on the bed. The student lay down on the bed. Forms: lie, lay, had lain, is or was lying
V. The Senses Remember to describe experiences in senses other than sight. A. Sight a. This font appears to be melting. B. Sound a. The electric car has a quiet mode, which is its default setting, and an engine mode, which warns, with a low rumbling sound, pedestrians waiting to cross the street. C. Smell a. Lululemon sells a yoga top that exudes, when you sweat, a courteous odor of orange blossoms. D. Taste a. The honey-asparagus flavor attempted at the new Prospect Heights fro-yo shop tastes like someone poured left-over cereal milk over a mixed-greens salad. E. Touch a. Running my palm along the sleeve of the cashmere sweater was like petting a cloud, if the cloud were made of the undercoat of a Pashmina goat from Tibet. VI. Figurative Language A. Simile : Uses like or as to compare one thing to another thing. a. The musky odor crept as quietly as a cat through the room. B. Metaphor : Compares two things without like or as. a. I tasted fear on my tongue: dry, acidic, poisonous. C. Analogy : Compares one situation to another. a. I stroked the fur of the dying, hideous beast the way I had when my dog was sick, but in this case, I didn t want this animal to get better. D. Personification : An object acts like a person. a. The alarm shrieked in pain. E. Hyperbole : Exaggerates a description or feeling. a. That guy looked at least eight feet tall!