Shakespeare in the Park(s Department)

Transcription

1 Patricia Forg 14 December 2016 Adam Hooks Final Project Shakespeare in the Park(s Department) My script for an episode of the nonexistent show, Shakespeare in the Park(s Department), is inspired by the show Parks and Recreation. Characters have been taken from Macbeth, Hamlet, and King Richard III from their intended settings and thrust into a modern government parks department, in a seriously improbable situation. Many of Shakespeare s works have been adapted into a modern setting, but I wanted to take it one step further. Many of Shakespeare s characters fall somewhere on the scale of extreme personalities, which is essentially the same basis that Parks and Recreation runs. With this in mind, I have attempted to adapt the characters to this unlikely comedic setting. In the following pages I will cast the characters, discuss their original roles, and explain why I made the choices I made in adapting them to such an irregular setting. I have decided to include a narrator in my script, which differs greatly from Parks and Recreation or any show like it. The narrator is inserted into the narrative in much the same way as the narrator from Pushing Daisies, and I chose to include one to serve as the voice of the editors and our class. The narrator is there for explication as well as a unique sort of comedy, that can (hopefully) keep true to the mood that came with studying the plays. This was not intended to bring the plays to their endings. No one in their right mind could bring together all three plays and shove them into such a short episode. For that reason, I focused on setting up the stories and using what we know about character personalities and motivations in order to do so.

2 THE WITCHES MACBETH!! The witches in Macbeth are some of Shakespeare s most mysterious characters (met closely by the Ghost in Hamlet). Their portrayals in modern media have varied widely, some hailing back to a more classic idea of witchcraft (which resembles worship), some having them act in a more cultish, demonic way. The latter may be an attempt at letting the modern audience experience the witches in the same way that Elizabethan audiences would have experienced them. It is assumed that the witches prophesized Macbeth s rise and fall, though it remains mostly ambiguous as to the nature of their prophecy, and the question of if it might actually be considered a curse. When the witches appear in the play, they are only ever seen by two characters: Macbeth and Banquo. Banquo s exposure to the witches leads to his suspicion about the death of Duncan and Macbeth s involvement. After their initial meeting, Banquo never again meets the witches, and they only appear to Macbeth. He takes their words and their message as encouragement to move forward with his bloody deeds. It s possible that this would have played out differently had the thought of the thought of killing the king had not crossed Macbeth s mind before, which possibly suggests that the witches were his final push, or even representative of a darker side of his conscience.

3 The witches vanish as soon as their role seems to be up. There s no turning back or escaping his actions for Macbeth, and their constant presence in the play disappears almost entirely but Macbeth himself does not understand that until it is too late. He continues to blame the witches for his actions, thinking that they will always be there, almost as his way out. He doesn t realize that this is not the case until he is faced with what can most succinctly be called life or death. When he does figure it out, he decides to go down swinging. In Shakespeare in the Park(s Department), I have kept true to their appearances, and the only people who interact with (or even see) the witches are Banquo and Macbeth. To show that their appearance was unusual, I included Banquo s questioning line, How long have you guys worked here? Although modern witchcraft exists, I don t think it would be comparable to the witchcraft seen in the original play. For this reason, I decided to have the character of the witches use a séance as their way of telling Macbeth that he can be the new Head of the Parks Department. The reason I decided to use the route of a séance is that they generally seemed to be considered bad news to the majority of people even skeptics or nonbelievers. Because I also wanted to keep the tone of the show, I decided to turn it into a sort of joke-gone-too-far. This is also an attempt to play off of the ambiguity of the witches role in Macbeth s actions. PLAYED BY: Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon, Kristen Wiig

4 KING RICHARD / DUKE OF GLOUCESTER KING RICHARD III! Richard III is probably one of Shakespeare s most inimitable and despicable villains. Not only is he a master manipulator of grand proportions, but he shows no sign of conscience until the end of the play, when his own life is threatened. Shakespeare spends a portion of the play playing off of the stories about all of the rumors about the real Richard s deformities that may or may not have existed at all. Richard introduces them to the audience in his first monologue (technically, it would be considered a soliloquy, but given the fact that he seems to be speaking directly to the audience ). In the same breath as mentioning his deformity as the cause of his anger, he also says that he accepts that he is a villain. Right away the audience should be wary of his manipulation. Richard climbs his way to the top leaving a trail of bodies in his wake, ruthlessly taking down anyone who is against him or anyone who is no longer of use to him. His first crime is framing his brother, Clarence, in order to imprison him. He quickly hires two murderers to kill him there in the tower. His messed up relationship with Anne is particularly haunting, and especially curious as their marriage is never seen on stage, and the audience never actually sees Anne say I do in any form. He is also responsible for the death of Hastings, when he discovers that Hastings is in fact loyal to the young princes.

5 When Richard is finally crowned king (after he sends the two young princes to the Tower), he tells Buckingham that he wants the princes dead. This particular moment is striking to Richard s character, as he is no longer using his words to talk around things or justify his actions: he very frankly states I want them dead. Buckingham makes the mistake of feeling hesitant about it, to which Richard immediately responds in the way he responds to everything: by having him killed. The only sign that Richard has a conscience at all is the fact that he is haunted by nightmares of the ghosts of the people he murdered. It is during this scene that he first admits to his crimes, calling himself a murderer despite having had other people commit his crimes. It s difficult to say whether the ghosts prophecy his death or whether they are responsible for his death by way of a curse but they are one of the main causes of his disintegration. He completely dissolves after he is visited by the ghosts, and is shortly thereafter killed, to the relief of many. Aside from the fact that Richard is a drama queen, there s not much about Richard s actions that is comical. Because of this, I decided to take his character one step farther and emphasize his drama and evil scheming. Richard gave me the most opportunities to use the tool of talking into the camera, because of the fact that he spends most of the play talking into the camera as it is. This can even be seen in the BBC s Hollow Crown adaptation of the play, where Richard delivers all of his monologues and soliloquies while looking straight into the camera, as if to insinuate that he is speaking directly to us, the audience. In order to keep the comedic value of the show at hand, instead of having Richard murder his way to the top (which would certainly be a damper on the environment), I had him clear his path in a much more lighthearted way: by literally tying up the people who stood in his way. Because they could not die, their haunting is very different from the one in the play, and is almost in the style of The Tell-Tale Heart. The people he has wronged (tied up) haunt him by silently harassing him until he starts acting outrageous and gets himself fired. My goal, and my main concern, was making sure the audience of the script felt just as celebratory as the audience off the play, despite the fact that stakes were lowered for the sake of the comedic environment of the adaptation.! PLAYED BY: Jonathan Groff

6 ! Horatio is quite possibly the most level-headed character throughout the entirety of Hamlet. Other than his friendship with the titular character, he does not have extremely personal connections to any of the events taking place, which allows him to have more of an outside perspective on the events take place. He is also a well-read scholar, which would suggest to the audience that he is one of the most reliable characters in the show, with a sharp and ready mind that can interpret the scenes before him as we do. One of the most important parts of his role takes place when he warns Hamlet against following the ghost, reminding him that it may not actually be the ghost of his father. Hamlet addresses this but seems to want so badly to believe that the ghost was, in fact, his father, that he could not see reason. Horatio s concern seemed to have reached Hamlet on some level, as Hamlet, in an effort to prove (to himself more than anyone) that the ghost was being honest in incriminating the King (to be called Claudius here on out for the sake of ease, though he is never named in the play), sets up a play to try and wring Claudius guilt to the surface. Hamlet tells Horatio to keep a close eye on the king to see if he shows any signs of guilt for murdering his father. Horatio does this, but due to the nature of what happened at the play, does not really give Hamlet the!

7 straight answer that he really wants to here. Horatio sees the scenes before him for what they are: lunatic actions from a man who has already made up his mind and may only be trying to justify the actions he intends to take. When the play ends, Horatio is (literally) the last man standing at the center of a massacre. The queen (Gertrude) has drunk the poison that Claudius meant for Hamlet, Laertes and Hamlet stabbed each other with the poisoned sword that had originally been meant for Hamlet, and Hamlet stabs the king with that same sword, apparently pouring the poison that killed his mother down his throat shortly after. Then, finally, Hamlet dies. And there s Horatio when the long forgotten Fortinbras enters the scene, the only one left to try and explain what actually happened. (See: the picture above.) In my adaptation, I chose to really put my focus on this fact that Horatio is one of the most clear minded characters. This is said with some trepidation, due to the fact that he tells the story of what happened at the end of the play, and the story he tells isn t really what happened at all. This, too, is something I wanted to play off of, because throughout the play, everyone seems to be relying on Horatio in some way or another especially Hamlet. He s the character who is kind of stuck in this mess with no way out, because he manages to get deeply ingrained in Hamlet s plotting. Horatio gets a lot of moments where he looks at the camera, which is my attempt at using editor s notes, class interpretations, and other interpretations, at portraying his level-headedness and apparent awareness of the madness around him, while being mostly unable to do anything about it. His role uniquely extends beyond his own play as well, to serve the same purpose elsewhere and create a specific connectedness between all of the characters while emphasizing his role. I chose Steven Yeun as the actor to portray Horatio for a few reasons: he s incredibly funny (see his work with Conan O Brien), while also not being known as a comedic actor. This makes him a perfect fit for Horatio amongst the rest of the cast, because he doesn t quite fit the same role of absolute mania of those around him. PLAYED BY: Steven Yeun!!!!

8 THE KING ( CLAUDIUS )! Claudius is one of the most hated and well known non-titular characters of Shakespearean tragedies. We mostly see Claudius through the eyes of Hamlet, which gives the audience a rather skewed perception of who Claudius is. Hamlet keeps the focus of Claudius character on two things: the murder he believes took place and the sudden and weird marriage between Claudius and Gertrude. Because of Hamlet s manipulation, it s easy for the audience to forget the political side of things and understand that, despite Claudius rank offense, he s actually a very good king who knows what he is doing. There are two main points in the play that could suggest the king s guilt in the murder of his brother: once, during the play Hamlet puts on to catch him in his guilt, and again, when he s praying. The first instance is more ambiguous and up for interpretation. Yes, it is striking that the king would stand suddenly when watching the play, but what Hamlet doesn t realize is that there are reasons other than guilt that Claudius would have done this. It is also possible that Claudius realizes how dangerous Hamlet s actions are becoming, and believes his life to be in danger. His reaction to the play could even be the sudden shock of realizing that Hamlet believes he killed his brother. The second instance is more clear, with Claudius saying, My offense is rank, and all but admitting to what he s!

9 done. But there s the rub : while he speaks of an offense and how he has reaped the benefits of said offense, he never actually admits to killing Hamlet s father. Claudius, like so many others in the play, seems to fall apart as time progresses, taking desperate actions rather than well measured ones as he did in the beginning. Sending Hamlet away with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, accompanied by a letter condemning Hamlet to death, all while trying to decide how to manipulate Denmark into thinking this was a good idea, is not exactly the king that we are used to (speaking outside of Hamlet s perspective of the king). I really tried to play on something that most people (myself included) overlook when reading Hamlet due to previous knowledge and understanding of the play, which is Claudius role in the death of Hamlet s father. When reading Hamlet it is difficult to forget what we already know about the basic skeleton of the play: Hamlet sees the ghost of his father who tells him his brother did it, Hamlet seeks revenge. However, the ambiguity of the ghost s identity (there is no actual proof, by the end, that the ghost is in fact the ghost of Hamlet s father) also leaves a certain amount of ambiguity about Claudius involvement in the death of Hamlet Sr. Casting Claudius proved difficult, because of the complications of his character. Ultimately my reasoning was that I would need someone who was versed enough in comedy to butt heads with Hamlet, whose character is rather extreme, but with enough experience in drama that he would have the maturity needed to portray a boss character who is actually good at his job. My reasoning behind Hugh Laurie lies specifically behind his work on A Bit of Fry and Laurie mixed with House. He is capable of being absurd and capable of a very unique dry humor. PLAYED BY: Hugh Laurie

10 LADY MACBETH MACBETH Lady Macbeth is one of the most infamous characters Shakespeare has ever written. Of the four plays we read in class, Lady Macbeth is Shakespeare s most complicated, well-established, and active female character. Her role is inextricably linked with the role of her husband, and yet she stands on her own, proving to be one of the most important characters in the story. Her role proves just as important as Macbeth s proven perhaps by the fact that, while only referred to as Lady in the play, she is known as Lady Macbeth, sharing his titular role. Without Lady Macbeth, nothing in the play could have happened. In the beginning, Macbeth struggles on acting on his thought of a thought that he can t even admit to, and Lady Macbeth is the one who brings it to light. She essentially interprets the witches words herself, though she only hears them secondhand from Macbeth s letter. She pushes him to take the actions necessary to make the witches words come true (which further complicates, I think, whether or not this was a prophecy). The murder plot is almost entirely her own, and when Macbeth comes up having only completed half of it, she takes matters into her own hands (literally) to finish the job. Throughout the play, Lady Macbeth really turns out to be the mastermind, not only in the murder plot to begin with, but in

11 the lengths gone to in order to cover it up. When Macbeth starts publicly freaking out and putting them at risk of exposure, Lady Macbeth is quick on her feet in coming up with an excuse for his actions. She even warps it in such a way that if any of the men were to address Macbeth s strange actions, they would feel threatened, saying: He will again be well: if much you note him, you shall offend him and extend his passion: feed, and regard him not. While she doesn t say that they would be punished, the insinuation that there will be consequences for offending the king is clear. One of the most haunting scenes in the play (of which there are many), is Lady Macbeth s sleepwalking nightmares. This is a particularly interesting scene due to the fact that it s the first sign of conscience on Lady Macbeth s part, and it comes when she is unconscious. Interpretations of this can vary on what exactly this means about her character or her conscience at all: does this mean that she has been hiding her conscience better than Macbeth had and it is only now manifesting itself while her guard is down? It remains ambiguous and unclear, and seems to be something that should be left up to interpretation for the audience (which I very much want to keep up with in my script, if I can). There are different interpretations of Lady Macbeth in every iteration of the play. In the two we studied in class, Judi Dench s role is something of a classic portrayal of the character, whereas Kate Fleetwood s Lady Macbeth is far more sexualized in her portrayal, from the way she dresses (especially in the dinner scene), to the way she holds herself physically (leaning backwards on the sink seductively). I really chose to focus on the control she has in the play, because it is arguably one of the most interesting parts of the story. Not to mention the fact that she s one of Shakespeare s strongest female characters, and I want to be able to emphasize that. The biggest trouble was trying to put such a dark character in such a comedic setting. This proved difficult for the entirety of Macbeth, really, but especially so with this character who, in one interpretation, even poured some kind of harsh chemical on her hands to out those damned spots. PLAYED BY: Aubrey Plaza (ft. Chris Pratt as Macbeth)

12 COLD OPEN INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT - DAY The Witches are sitting around one table, eating lunch together. They're arguing. WITCH 1 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. He would never believe that. WITCH 2 Because you've spent so much time with him. WITCH 3 She has a point. WITCH 1 What are you two even talking about? We've all spent the same amount of time with him. We're together literally all the time. Exactly. WITCH 2 Witch 3 points at Witch 2, as if their point has been made. Witch 1 looks exasperated. Banquo walks down the hall towards them, and Witch 1 calls out to stops him. WITCH 1 Banquo. Can you settle something for us? BANQUO ( confused & hesitant) How long have you guys worked here? WITCH 1 These two think it would be funny if we told Macbeth that we did a seance and found out that he would be the new boss, and then watch him freak out. WITCH 2 What about that isn't funny?

13 2. WITCH 1 He's not going to take us seriously if we tell him about some kind of seance! WITCH 3 Do you have a better idea? A beat. BANQUO ( quietly, to himself) Who are you people? Fine. WITCH 1 ( sighing) WITCH 2 ( ecstatic) Excellent! So, do we just tell him about the seance, or should we pretend to have it right in front of him? WITCH 3 ( giddy) This is gonna be great! NARRATOR (V.O.) It would not be great. Banquo glances at the camera. END COLD OPEN INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT - DAY The office is, as usual, in an odd disarray. Hamlet is sitting at his desk, staring directly ahead, dark bags under his eyes and looking as though he hasn't slept for a week. At the desk beside him is Horatio, whose head is against the table. He wipes away a bit of drool, and his hand falls back against the desk. An open pack of alka-seltzers and a glass of water sit beside him. Macbeth's desk is empty.

14 3. Richard sits at his desk, looking impatiently at a list in front of him, tapping his pen against his desk in distracted thought. The place is a mess. CLAUDIUS (O.S.) Hamlet! Hamlet! Hamlet's face does not change, and he doesn't look in the direction of Claudius' voice. Hamlet! CLAUDIUS (O.S.) (cont'd) Horatio lifts his head and looks at Hamlet. Hamlet closes his eyes. Horatio drags himself off his chair and brings him the glass of water and an alka-seltzer tablet. NARRATOR (V.O.) Like most tragedies, ours begins with a death. BEGIN FLASHBACK INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT - DAY The office is just as messy as it was previously, but the workers all look happy. Horatio is talking to Hamlet at his desk, and Lady Macbeth has come to visit her husband. Richard, however, looks exactly the same, brooding over his mysterious list. NARRATOR (V.O.) A man named Hamlet Senior had been the head of the Parks Department for many happy years. He had a perfect work attendance record until one day he called in saying he felt ill, and was shortly diagnosed with an ear infection. We see Hamlet Senior, lying in bed with a heating pack pressed up against his face, looking miserable. NARRATOR (V.O.) (cont'd) What should have been a short period of misery ended when he died suddenly.

15 4. We hear a single ring of a funeral bell and see a coffin being lowered into a grave, and a number of people dressed in black. Claudius stands at the podium as the coffin is lowered. Hamlet stands at the front of the gathered crowd. We see Richard take a sheet of paper out of his pocket, cross something off his list, and stick it back in. NARRATOR (V.O.) (cont'd) His death and the ear infection were, obviously, unrelated. END FLASHBACK INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT - BACK TO PRESENT TIGHT SHOT OF. Hamlet is staring directly ahead, his eyes red, looking more tired than ever. NARRATOR This could not be more clear to anyone other than young Hamlet. Horatio is talking into the camera. We can see Hamlet in the background, drinking the cup of water Horatio gave him earlier. Hamlet really hasn't been feeling too hot lately. I mean his father died and his uncle's kinda been rubbing up on his mom which is pretty gross, so I figured we could have a couple drinks and try to relax but he, uh - started going through all these pictures of his dad? BEGIN FLASHBACK Hamlet and Horatio are sitting on the floor of Hamlet's living room, empty beer bottles scattered around them. Hamlet is holding up a picture of his father, waving it at Horatio, talking animatedly.

16 5. (V.O.) I thought about stopping him because that was kind of what I was trying to get his mind off of, but he, uh... Hamlet continues talking, getting more and more animated. Horatio watches him with wide eyes, like a deer in the headlights. Horatio glances at the camera. END FLASHBACK Horatio is talking to the camera. He passed out and hasn't said a word since. I'm hoping it's just because of the hangover. THE CAMERA TIGHTENS ON (BEHIND ). Claudius walks into the main area of the parks department, impatient and stony-faced. He approaches Hamlet's desk. CLAUDIUS Hamlet. Meet me in my office. He turns and walks into his office, and Hamlet makes a face behind his back, mocking the words 'meet me in my office'. Richard side-eyes the behavior with a raised eyebrow. Richard is talking to the camera. RICHARD Yeah, I'm not worried about him at all. You should have seen him in the meeting this morning. He was completely hungover and only said one word, which was 'no'. ( laughs) Most exciting part of my morning. Horatio walks up to Richard's desk, massaging his temple with the heel of his hand.

17 6. Banquo walks in. Hey, what happened in the meeting this morning? RICHARD Depends what you mean.... What? I mean what happened in the meeting? BANQUO Hey, do you guys know who those three weird women are out there? What are you talking about? Banquo sees Hamlet in Claudius' office, brooding. SHOT OF RICHARD. BANQUO What's going on over there, more family drama? RICHARD He's probably getting scolded for his behavior in the meeting. BANQUO You mean reprimanded? RICHARD I mean scolded. I mean, Claudius basically his uncle-dad now - Dude. That's not funny. RICHARD Who's laughing? Richard is laughing hysterically, for way too long. He wipes a tear of laughter from the top of his cheek. Oh, man. RICHARD (cont'd)

18 7. INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT - BACK TO PRESENT Horatio and Banquo are still gathered around Richard's desk. Macbeth rushes in, looking flustered and nervous. He is sweating profusely, and obviously looks as though he is hiding something. The other three look up, surprised at his sudden and suspicious appearance. ( confused, concerned) Hey, man. Hey. MACBETH ( distracted) He collapses into his desk seat and throws his belongings onto the floor, picking up his desk phone and dialing quickly, keeping his eyes down on his desk. Horatio, Banquo, and Richard all look at each other. That was weird. BANQUO laughs ( unconvincingly) Haha - yeah - super weird. Hey, is that my phone ringing? Banquo rushes back to his desk, picking up his phone and upholding a one sided conversation. Richard and Horatio watch him curiously. NARRATOR His phone did not, in fact, ring. Banquo is talking to the camera. His eyes are wide in disbelief. BANQUO Those weird women were kidding, right? Right?

19 8. Behind him, we see Macbeth whispering frantically into the phone. Banquo looks over his shoulder at his friend, and then back at the camera. BANQUO (cont'd) high pitched ( whispering) He's too superstitious for this! INT. CLAUDIUS' OFFICE - DAY Claudius' office is significantly cleaner than the rest of the office. The papers on his desk are carefully organized, and his decor fits every societal stereotype of masculinity to the point of discomfort. Hamlet looks like he does not belong at all. He is slouching in his chair, his head thrown back dramatically. His leg is slung up on the side of the chair. CLAUDIUS What is this? ( he gestures vaguely) What are you doing? ( mocking) "What is this? What are you doing?" CLAUDIUS ( impatient) Hamlet. ( making a face) Uncle! CLAUDIUS For [censored] sake! Hamlet sits up, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Claudius looks surprised at this sudden movement. The surprise doesn't last very long, and is quickly replaced with impatience. A beat. CLAUDIUS (cont'd) Are you done?

20 9. Claudius sighs. So, hypothetically... NARRATOR It was not hypothetical. If someone committed several deadly sins - say, I don't know, fratricide provoked by greed and lust for his sister-in-law - Claudius glances at the camera over Hamlet's shoulder. Claudius is talking to the camera. CLAUDIUS I think he thinks I killed his dad. INT. CLAUDIUS' OFFICE - BACK TO PRESENT - wow, that would be pretty [censored] up, huh? Good thing it would probably never happen, am I right? ( laughs obnoxiously) TIGHT SHOT OF CLAUDIUS, STARING AT, MOUTH OPEN IN SHOCK. Hamlet is talking to the camera. (cont'd) Yeah, he definitely killed my dad. INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT - DAY We see Macbeth, hunched over at his desk, his phone pressed to his ear. He wipes nervous sweat from his forehead.

21 10. WIDE SHOT OF THE OFFICE. MACBETH ( whispering) No, babe, you're not - ( beat) No, I've never met them before - ( beat) Yes, they knew my name, but - ( beat) Claudius hasn't done anything wrong, he's been way better than Hamlet's dad, they're not gonna fire him - ( beat) Wait - ( loudly) You want me to WHAT? Everyone turns to look at Macbeth. MACBETH (cont'd) ( quietly again) Yeah, I gotta go, bye. Macbeth hangs up the phone and sits back in his seat. NARRATOR Young Macbeth attempts to look natural by smiling and laughing at his co-workers. Unfortunately, it only makes him look worse. Macbeth laughs too loudly. Banquo glances at the camera. INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT - DAY Hamlet walks out of Claudius' office, playing up his dramatics and theatricality as he goes. Claudius glances at the camera as Hamlet makes his show of leaving. When the door closes, Hamlet immediately sobers up, going stone faced once more. Horatio rushes up to him with a certain urgency. Hey, man.

22 11. Horatio! Hey! How ya doing? It's good to see you again! ( confused) Yeah... Hey, are you okay? What happened in there? Hamlet suddenly becomes serious, putting his hand on Horatio's arm. You have to be quiet about it, okay? Yeah, yeah, of course. Remember what we talked about last night? Horatio looks at Hamlet curiously. Horatio is talking to the camera. His hands are over his face and he's shaking his head. [Censored] [Censored] [Censored] [Censored] [Censored] [Censored] [Censored] [Censored] [Censored] INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS Dude... Hamlet, no that's - we were drunk! You were out of it, you finished off my - Spirits! Yes! What? Since when have you called liquor spirits?

23 12. Not the liquor, Horatio, spirits. I think my dad's ghost is what made me want to go through those pictures last night. And let me guess, your dad's ghost told you that your uncle killed him? You heard him say that? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? INT. CLAUDIUS' OFFICE - DAY There's a knock at Claudius' door and it opens before he can hail in the visitor. Richard steps inside. CLAUDIUS Please tell me it's good news. RICHARD No news. I was wondering how things went with Hamlet. CLAUDIUS I really wish I could tell you. Anyway, it won't matter for very long. Richard smiles into the camera. INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT Lady Macbeth marches into the building, looking as stern and urgent as ever. Richard looks up and grimaces when he sees her. She doesn't even glance at him. She walks up to Macbeth, who drops the phone he is talking into on the desk. He fumbles with the phone until he manages to drop it back onto the receiver.

24 13. MACBETH ( urgent whispering) What are you doing here? LADY MACBETH You hung up on me before I could finish telling you the plan. MACBETH There is no plan! We're not going to make a plan! NARRATOR Macbeth, as usual, was mistaken. INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS Hamlet is sitting at his desk, glaring menacingly and annoyingly at Claudius through the windows of his office, violently tapping a pencil against his desk. Claudius glances up at Hamlet, then looks at the camera through the window. We see Horatio, who is sitting at his own desk, glancing nervously between Hamlet and Claudius. The door to the parks department opens and Horatio jumps out of his seat and turns to see that Ophelia has entered. He rushes up to her. Hey! Okay, he's over there, just - you know, be... gentle? I don't think he's drunk, which makes all of this like, way freakier than it already is, but maybe you can talk some sense into him or just, you know, get him out of here before he does something really stupid. OPHELIA What do you think he's gonna do? I, uh, really don't wanna think about that, so just, you know...

25 14. Horatio shrugs and tilts his head back and forth as if to say "this or that". Ophelia gives Horatio a curious look. (cont'd) I don't know, he's your boyfriend, you tell me! Ophelia rolls her eyes and walks towards Hamlet. She puts her hand on Hamlet's shoulder, and he looks up to see who's come. Ophelia! Hamlet leaps out of his chair and pulls Ophelia into an uncomfortable hug. She pats his back awkwardly, confused. Horatio watches impatiently, his hand over his mouth. OPHELIA Hey! I just thought I'd stop by and, um... see how you're doing today. ( suddenly alert) What do you mean? OPHELIA Well, based on how much you and Horatio drank last night, I thought you would probably have a pretty awful hangover. ( relieved) Oh, Ophelia. You sweet, naive little waterlily. We see Horatio in the background, throwing his hands in front of him and mouthing, "WHAT?" exasperatedly. INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT Richard is sitting at his desk again, crossing another line off the list he has been working on. Banquo approaches his desk.

26 15. BANQUO Macbeth's wife is here and - what's that? TIGHT SHOT OF RICHARD'S LIST. It is a list of names, and a number are crossed off: Hamlet Senior, Hamlet Junior, Clarence,. Richard takes the list off his desk and folds it up, stuffing it into his pocket. RICHARD I'm keeping track of Christmas shopping. BANQUO You're buying gifts for all those people? Of course. RICHARD BANQUO I never pegged you for the type. RICHARD I think that says more about you than it does about me. BANQUO ( clearing his throat) Speaking of him, where's Clarence? Did he call in sick today? BEGIN FLASHBACK It is early morning in the parks department, and nobody has yet arrived. Richard sits alone in the office, waiting. NARRATOR What nobody knows is that Richard's brother, Clarence, is the only other person in the office who might be qualified enough to become the new director of the Parks Department once Richard managed to get Claudius fired. Clarence walks into the office, and Richard hides behind a corner. When Clarence walks his way, Richard jumps out and T-bones him.

27 16. NARRATOR (cont'd) Richard took care of him that morning. We see Clarence sitting in a broom closet with duct tape over his mouth, tied to a chair. END FLASHBACK Richard looks up at Banquo, pretending to be confused. Who? Clarence. RICHARD BANQUO RICHARD Who's Clarence? Richard is smiling again at the camera. He points at a door with a chair pushed up against it. RICHARD (cont'd) That's Clarence. INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT Richard goes back to work on his computer, leaving Banquo standing there, looking more confused than ever. NARRATOR In fact, Richard had taken care of a number of people he considered to be a threat to his prospective job. Richard is talking to the camera. RICHARD It's going even better than I planned! It was not. NARRATOR TO BE CONTINUED...