Published by Metatron Ave. de Gaspé, Montreal QC H2T2A3
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1 Teen Surf Goth
2 Published by Metatron Ave. de Gaspé, Montreal QC H2T2A3 Copyright Oscar d Artois 2015 All rights reserved. ISBN Editing Jay Winston Ritchie Layout and book design Ashley Opheim Cover design Guillaume Morissette First edition First printing
3 it is love it is hate it is the music of yeezy that make up the roaring waters that bind us - virginia woolf
4 Contents wherever/whenever poem try using this one weird tip sitting on the ground in yr sad room facing the window is fun because you can pretend you are in a spaceship, kind of sexy tumblr very erotic very violent too fragile for this world into the wild baristas w/ liberal arts degrees reading clickbait on their phones partial list of all of my tattoos to date teach me how to love what doesn t look the other way lonely hearts of the cetacean world unite roll up to the club like whaddup my life is vapid & i have crippling social anxiety
5 maple-flavored almond butter depresnyak my life is full of what s not here postscript for gelato, november 23rd 2014, 8:37 p.m. disco medusa sloth goth just because you touch yourself doesn t mean that you re in touch with yourself visions of coney i want my name to be a cough drop u swallow on a quiet night & i want it to get lodged in your throat & i want it to ignite inside of you like a fucking sun going for a walk alone minimalists turns out keiko the whale died at the age of 27 coincidence i don t think so because of course when we criticize our friends we are also always criticizing ourselves, yes? this is a review of the cheesecake factory
6 wherever/whenever i wanna be 12 yrs old again i wanna be from new jersey in the fall i wanna live 3/4s of my life in an MMORPG i wanna [explicit content] to the idea of shakira ~clothed crawling across my ikea bunkbed i wanna cry myself to sleep, after, while a scratched the ataris cd bleats boys of summer into my headphones & in the morning i wanna sit in the back of a fucking schoolbus 13
7 poem this one time i broke a bottle of this type of perfume that my mom used to wear called poem afterwards the house smelled like poem for like six months 14
8 try using this one weird tip i remember this other time in college after a weekly post-drunk dinner sunday morning brunch at the same restaurant we always went to which was supposedly named after this guy who was a health nut & invented the graham cracker as a result i guess & well nevermind that anyway we all went back to my house after brunch which was not uncommon & i went to my room which i shared with my kind of girlfriend of the time to get changed i think & this girl i knew katy i mean more than knew she was my friend but so anyway this girl swung the door open & came in looking for me & i was on my knees sitting on a pile of clothes in bed hunched over in my underwear w/ my hands under my belly in a kind of fucked up yogic child pose & she was like wat the hell & i got really embarrassed & reacted by getting mad & telling her to leave & later telling her that when i closed the door to my bedroom which i rarely did that it was for a reason & even later once she d collected herself i remember how she told me to listen, man & that it was ok to pray, everyone does it, sometimes & my being confused when she said that because i hadn t been praying at all & reacting by telling her so, reacting by telling her the truth which was that i wasn t praying at all. i was tugging on my stomach fat & the way her face got all serious afterwards i mean i guess it did seem like an impossibly bleak thing to admit to, at the time 15
9 sitting on the ground in yr sad room facing the window is fun because you can pretend you are in a spaceship, kind of but hey guess wat a lot of people are convinced that there s secretly something deeply wrong with them, ok?! 16
10 sexy tumblr my friend found a sexy photo while searching for [something] on my laptop, once he put it in my trash folder, secretly & maybe experienced emotions lying somewhere on a spectrum between embarrassment & sympathy while doing so i wanted to be able to have tastefully erotic & vaguely artistic pics tho & not be ashamed of it but also i didn t want people just like stumbling into shit on my laptop so i created an anonymous tumblr to post them to took the pic out of the trash, posted it & immediately forgot my username & password 17
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The Kidz Klub 2 -or- The Curse of the Step Dragon by Kevin M Reese Copyright 2002, Kevin M Reese. All Rights Reserved. Characters: Beth (F) - shy, she talks to herself a lot Sami (F) - Tomboy, loves sports
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Dark and Purple and Beautiful Paul Arnaud I open the fridge and my drinks are gone and I think that it s Sara or James, but they re nowhere to be seen and I m still sober and we re not leaving till two.