Q: What is black; white; green and bumpy? A: A pickle wearing a tuxedo! Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese! Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter? A: I'm not telling you. You might spread it! Q: Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea? A: To go with the jellyfish! Q: Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke? A: Because it might crack up! Q: What did the baby corn say to it's mom? A: Where is pop corn? Q: What do you call candy that was stolen? A: Hot chocolate! Q: What kind of nuts always seem to have a cold? A: Cashews! Q: Waiter, will my pizza be long? A: No sir, it will be round! Q: What candy do you eat on the playground? A: Recess pieces!
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bull-dozer. Q: How do you fit more pigs on your farm? A: Build a sty-scraper! Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? A: An udder failure. Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers! Q: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A: A dino-snore! Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry? A: They are always stuffed! Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze! Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk. Q: Where do polar bears vote? A: The North Poll Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch!
Q: What do you call an underwater spy? A: James Pond! Q: Why did the policeman go to the baseball game? A: He heard someone had stolen a base! Q: Why did the book join the police? A: He wanted to go undercover! Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? A: The scientists were brainstorming! Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits! Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue Q: What kind of car does a farmer drive? A: A cornvertable! Q: What do you call a flying police officer? A: A helicopper! Q: How did the farmer mend his pants? A: With cabbage patches! Q: Why did the lazy man want a job in a bakery? A: So he could loaf around!
Q: How many books can you put into an empty backpack? A: One! After that it's not empty. Q: Does your shirt have holes in it? A: No, then how did you put it on? Q: When does a cart come before a horse? A: In the dictionary! Q: What is full of holes but can still hold water? A: A sponge! Q: Where does success come before work? A: In the dictionary! Q: What breaks when you say it? A: Silence! Q: How many peas are there in a pint? A: There is one 'P' in a 'pint'. Q: How many months have 28 days? A: All of them! Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake? A: You crack me up! Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder? A: To reach the high notes! Q: What kind of plates do they use on Venus? A: Flying saucers! Q: Why did nose not want to go to school? A: He was tired of getting picked on! Q: How do you get straight A's? A: By using a ruler! Q: What did the pen say to the pencil? A: So, what's your point! Q: Why did the kid study in the airplane? A: Because he wanted a higher education! Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The elf-abet! Q: What holds the sun up in the sky? A: Sunbeams! Q: What object is king of the classroom? A: The ruler!