Using Descriptive Language In descriptive writing, it is vital that you use descriptive language. That means choosing your nouns and verbs very carefully, adding adjectives and adverbs, and using adjective clauses and participial phrases. As you learned when we studied the writing process, writing involves much revision and rewriting, so you can always review your sentences to make them more descriptive. The following exercises will help you practice adding descriptive details to your writing. A. Adding adjectives and adverbs to sentences. Working with a partner, rewrite the following sentences to create two differing mental images. Add detail to the sentences using adjectives and adverbs. Try to avoid clichés (overly used words like delicious and great ). If you want to change a noun/verb to a more descriptive noun/verb, you may. 1. The food arrived on a plate. The mouth-watering food immediately arrived on a large silver plate. Eventually, the putrid food arrived on a filthy cracked plate. 2. The boy ran to the store. 3. The porter carried the bags upstairs. 4. A man waited for the bus.
B. Choosing descriptive words Working with a partner, write one or more alternative words to the ones highlighted in the sentence. 1. A young boy and girl looked longingly into each other s eyes. couple stared; gazed 2. The boy took her by the hand and said, I love you. 3. My dirty desk is covered with stuff. 4. I have always been scared of cockroaches and other things. C. Using similes A simile is a comparison between two things. Similes can refer to any of the five senses. It can be formed using the following grammar points: NOUN / VERB / VERB PHRASE + like + NOUN / NOUN PHRASE o The food tasted like ambrosia. o The robber fled the scene like a bullet. o David was so exhausted after a hard day s work. He slept like a baby all day long. o He had a voice like thunder. as + ADJECTIVE/ADVERB + as + NOUN o This meat is as tough as an old boot. o Her voice is as smooth as silk. o She sang as beautifully as a nightingale.
Now let s practice using similes. With a partner, write one or more sentences using the given cues. 1. an annoying noise Her voice was like sandpaper on my ears. She had a voice as loud as a jackhammer. 2. a pleasing noise 3. a displeasing taste 4. an amazing sight D. Using metaphors A metaphor is similar to a simile, but it doesn t use the words like or as. Instead, it directly refers to one thing as something similar. His voice was like thunder. When I first met my girlfriend, I realized that I had met someone as beautiful as an angel. My desk is like a jungle. Choose one of your sentences from the previous exercise (C). Can you rewrite using a metaphor instead of a simile?
E. Using appositives An appositive is a noun or noun phrase set off by commas that immediately follows another noun or noun phrase and describes it. Barack Obama, the president of the United States, will be visiting our school today. The baby, an angel sent from heaven, smiled and gurgled all the way to Busan. The plot of Julius Caesar, a play by William Shakespeare, centers around the actions of Brutus, Caesar s best friend. F. Using Adjective Clauses An adjective clause is a clause that describes a noun. It has the same meaning as an adjective. It begins with that, which, who, where, etc. Barack Obama, who used to live in my hometown, will be visiting our school today. Next to the town where I grew up, there is a beautiful mountain My desk, which resembles an earthquake zone at times, is actually neat and tidy today. G. Using participial phrases A participial phrase is a phrase beginning with an ed or ing word. They usually refer to the subject of a sentence, and they function as an adjective. They are placed either immediately before, or immediately after, the subject. Leaning against the wall, the bully ruthlessly demanded that I give him some money. Patrick, wanting a new challenge, left his job and moved to America. The child, wanting to please her mother, was cleaning the table earnestly.
Practice Working with a partner, rewrite the following sentences with many details to help paint a descriptive picture. Write another sentence or two to paint a different picture. 1. A man was going up a hill. An old man was slowly making his way up a steep hill. A middle-aged man in hiking gear was climbing up the Ardmore Hill. An elderly hiker, who looked exhausted, paused to catch his breath on his way up the hill. 2. The child called his mother s name. 3. The boy asked the girl out on a date. 4. Create your own images. Use your imagination, and use a variety of the points covered above.
Sample Descriptive Paragraph Christmas Eve, 1988 In our old beaten 1 armchair, I sat by the fireplace watching my younger brother. The last of the fire still sent little gifts of heat into the room from its dying embers. As the antique clock above the mantelpiece 2 struck eleven, I saw my brother s toes curl in anticipation. Otherwise motionless, he lay outstretched on the floor, his head gently resting in his impatient hands. At the sound of the chimes 3, his drooping eyes snapped back into focus. The object of his affection 4 lay wrapped in red and green, a frustratingly shapeless box with a tiny tear in the corner and his name written neatly in the centre. It was not without companions. Beside it lay a mound 5 of other shining presents, dancing in the glow of the flickering lights overhead. The tree itself was a welcoming giant, its open arms strewn with stringy tinsel 6 and hanging baubles 7. Here and there, tiny bulbs flashed in seasonal colours, stretching up the branches to the highest bough 8. At the summit, a pure white cherub 9 was perched 10, playing a lyre 11 and silently singing carols 12 of joy and love to the stars above. 1. How much time passes in the paragraph? 2. Does the paragraph use time organization or spatial organization? 3. Describe the organization of the paragraph. Why do you think the author chose this pattern of organization? 4. Discuss the descriptions used in the paragraph. Which descriptions do you like and why? 5. This paragraph emphasises warmth, companionship, and giving. How is each of these themes shown? Why does the author emphasise these themes? 1 in poor condition. 2 a shelf above a fireplace. 6 decorative, shiny string. 7 decorative balls. 12 Christmas songs 3 sound of bells. 4 the thing he was looking at. 5 a pile. 8 branch. 9 baby angel 10 sitting like a bird 11 a small harp